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What do women look for in a man after 40?Page 1 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
We just answered what men are looking for in women over 40 aand now I wonder what women are looking for in men over 40. Will be interesting to compare and contrast the two threads.
 bobbelieu
Joined: 5/9/2006
Msg: 2
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:04:33 PM
My experience is that women who are "after 40" often have no clear understanding what they want. Oh, they have some pretty solid opinions about what they DON'T want, but things tend to get a little vague when the subject turns to what they desire in a man.

Lots of words get bandied about. "Soul mate" and "chemistry" punctuate the discussion, but specifics get a little fuzzy.

I don't think it's really their fault; men probably have the same problem but express it differently. Maybe it's just the fact that we've had the marriage, the house, the kids, the STUFF...and so what's next? The same thing?

Probably not.

No, I think there's a strong desire for a man in a woman's life...but the desire often lacks a focus. Without that, how will you know where you're going in the relationship?

Just my $0.02 on the subject...
 1jay1
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 3
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:06:16 PM
For me, I look for someone who really is looking for a real woman - and not a trophy. I'm also looking for a man who, in his mid to late 40's isn't living in a basement apartment because he gave everything away in his marriage - isn't out of work, and isn't just 'playing' at looking for someone. Genuine interest. Genuine heart.

Only speaking for myself and no one else......
 Scotchlassie
Joined: 4/24/2006
Msg: 4
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:09:16 PM

I think there's a strong desire for a man in a woman's life...but the desire often lacks a focus. Without that, how will you know where you're going in the relationship?


I don't think it has to 'go' anywhere - isn't this life about the journey?
I know what I want - refer to Horselady's post of same date . . . and a few extras that I've stated in my profile.
 earth bound angel
Joined: 3/18/2006
Msg: 5
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:23:57 PM
I personally only date men over 40 and I love that age group for many, many reasons....They are cultured....educated..exerienced...smooooth lovers...tend to be softer and more romantic...men over 40 really do know what they want out of a solid relationship...the expect certain things like ...no games...realness...friendship...its the simple things that tend to make these men happy...they tend to be more grounded...love seeing the kid come out in these men....but mostly I love being with men 40 plus because you can really just be yourself...theres no pretense..these grown men are just little boys but with a world of wisdom and knowledge and a huge willingness to embrace love.....#1 fan of men who are 40+...EARTH BOUND ANGEL.
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:26:54 PM
Wow......... Men my age need more fans like Earth Bound Angel!

It's good to know we are appreciated
 Cyndee_bythelake
Joined: 4/8/2006
Msg: 7
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:37:16 PM
I always make sure he is still breathing...hehehehehe

Seriously, it is a must that he is stable, relatively healthy, and has not had more wives than I have had cars.

"Nuff said..
 doyouwantlove2
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 8
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 7:51:52 PM
I agree with Bob. That pretty much sums it up for both sexes. We all have "experienced" the same things in life, much more than say, a 21 year old. So we are more cautious, women are more so. Life brings memories including negative ones. Men over 40 are judged very thoroughly mainly due to past experiences in the woman's life. Myself, I understand these things, however I wish women 40+ could be a little more forgiving to those of us who never caused their traumas. I'm just trying to meet someone my age and avoid discussion of past traumatic experiences. We've all been "done dirty" by someone, or several someone's by now. I like to wipe the slate clean. If I meet a woman on this site, I hope it will be like a fresh slice of bread. We meet and decide how to butter that slice(the slice is the new relationship).
Jim
 softeyes1
Joined: 5/27/2006
Msg: 9
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:19:37 PM
Let's see; can I get a little less fuzzy about the specifiics-- re:

[No, I think there's a strong desire for a man in a woman's life...but the desire often lacks a focus. Without that, how will you know where you're going in the relationship?]


The desire for me is, in part, for a man who:
-wants an equal partner
-has similar values-- this may seem fuzzy but I do know what my values are so really it's not
-lives the Golden Rule
-is 'real'
-is relatively happy with his job/has a job
-has similar viewpoint on kids, money, etc
-has his priorities straight-- wife over mom (better be single right now-- man oh man); family over friends; as Suze Ormon says-- people before money; money before things
-non-judgmental, accepting attitude toward others
-etc (I just had to add the etc.)
 Muskoka Gold
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 10
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/15/2006 8:31:27 PM
Being loved
Being cherished

Putting her first in his life. If he does that she'll reciprocate.

Muskoka
 Awesomeone54
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 11
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:08:07 PM
I have to agree with Bob...at least in my case. I call tell you all day long what I DON'T want, but don't really know what it is I do want. Thats the magic part...you don't really know what it is you want til you find it!!! Is it really that different for men?
 Impasse
Joined: 6/12/2006
Msg: 12
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 1:22:49 PM
I am looking for someone who will allow me to have feelings of deep love for them and to accept them as they are but who won't 'crash' the party I'm having with myself by finally having no children at home and being able to do all the things I want to do.

I'd like him to be highly sexual and if multiple sexual partners are his thing then so be it. But men being men he'd have to be able to forgive me any past sexual history -- distant or more recent because I still don't believe even open minded men have totally given up the double standard.

And if we ever got into some type of 'more than just us participating' situation I'd have to be sure he wasn't going to get jealous if I enjoyed myself.

If he had the time and the inclination there are many other activities outside of the bedroom that I'd like to enjoy too. I love going down to the waterfront or for walks in parks. Getting a hot dog or fries from a street vendor etc.

But the man for me can do more for me with a glance than he'd ever know and I'd be more than happy to sustain myself on that if that's how it all played out.
 sapphireblues
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 13
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:40:44 PM
Someone thought we don't know what we want after 40? I know exactly. I just think he ain't out there! I want unconditional love. Like my grandparents had.


* Someone who respects me. Understands who I am. And, what made me that way. Someone who accepts my warts knowing that I'll overlook his too.
* Someone who will hold me when I cry and want to make my tears stop, but knows that sometimes we just have to cry through things to make it all better. So he shuts up and holds me. And knows that I won't think less of him if he cries, and that I'll hold him the same way and for the same reason.
* Someone who will laugh with me, and enjoy the little things in life that bring smiles.
* Someone who understands how thrilling it can be to just watch the world around us. Someone who won't mind pulling over as we drive along, so I can quickly snap a photograph that struck me as we passed it.
* Someone who will enjoy holding me as we fall asleep, whose hand will reach for mine in the night, just to be sure I'm still there. My best friend.
* Someone who has awe in their eyes and gentleness in their touch when they see a newborn baby horse, or cow, or puppy or human.
* Someone who enjoys a lot of the same things I do, but has enough different interests that we can each broaden our world by doing new things together
* Someone who knows that I'm always ready for an sexual encounter (I started to say "open 24/7" but that sounded somewhat raunchy) but I appreciate, crave and enjoy other intimacies just as much
* Someone who knows the importance of a kiss
* Someone who knows the difference in "making love," "having sex" and "f___ing'
* Someone who would think a great day would be sleeping late, watching old movies together (complete with popcorn) then either going for a ride on a horse, motorcycle or boat. Or just going back to bed to lazily enjoy each other.
* Someone who can untangle Christmas lights without putting a fist through the wall, or making all the dogs run for cover (I need this, because I can't)
* Someone who makes my stomach lurch (in that wonderful scary tingly way) when they walk towards me.
* It sounds corny, but.....someone who makes my heart smile.

Reckon he exists?
Sapph
PS: I'm surprised to see that that question posed to men quickly garnered 3 or 4 pages, this still on one? Do so many NOT know what they want? Or do they think it's a "duh" question?
 sapphireblues
Joined: 12/12/2005
Msg: 14
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:44:46 PM
In retrospect, maybe this was meant as a more "material" than metaphysical sense.

In that case I want....all of the things I just said. Because no matter how much money you have, or what kind of car you drive, or what kind of house you live in, it means nothing if you aren't going to sleep with your best friend beside you at night. And waking up to their kiss.

Sapph
 horselady48
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 15
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 2:54:22 PM
1. to be kissed in the pouring rain, when your pressed against the wall......
2. to be held as long as possible when being hugged.......
3. to have that moment where you just gaze into each other's eyes.......
4. to know when I'm not with him, I'm all that he can think about.....
5. to have him kiss my tears away when I cry.....
6. to have him play my favourite song even though he hates it.......
7. to have him tell me that my smile makes everything better......
8. to have his fidelity

Ooops ... I'm sorry - what was the question
 Awesomeone54
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 16
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 3:03:01 PM
SapphireBlues: I said I didn't know what I wanted.......but you did. You put it all into words for me. I guess we are all looking for the same thing....so if we all started treating people as we want to be treated...the dating pool would be huge!!! lol....I would like to add one

Someone who doesn't need to be with you every second to be secure. And that can make you feel secure enough to know that when you are apart, he is thinking of you and smiling. And back at him. Isn't that just simple but so nice?

OOOOh...and a great hugger. If you find Mr. Wonderful that you described...could you let me know if he has a brother? A father? A grandfather with a pulse? lol

If only if were that simple?
 Awesomeone54
Joined: 3/9/2006
Msg: 17
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 3:06:02 PM
Horselady....SapphireBlue appealed to the emotional side of what I want. After reading your reply...while sweating profusely....and then a long cold shower....I had to say...Please add all of that to my list. Now we are talking Heaven!!! Anyone else sweating? lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 18
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 3:46:54 PM
Hum........any man who would trying pinning me to a wall in the rain while kissing me .........just don't do it.

Too much dependance if I'm all thate he can think about when we are apart.

Kiss away my tear when I cry????????? Who cries except at funerals???????? Not kidding about this. I don't know a soul who cries? Are we just stronger in Ontario? Boy, am I going to take a beating for that one. I would be horrified if a man cried during a sad movie, and I see that in profiles all the time. I just hope they write that because that is what they think (?) that a women wants. Sorry, but crying requires death. Maybe I have just been through death type situations, so anything less just doesn't seem worth the effort. Crying = sore eyes, stuffed up nose, maybe a headache, and solves nothing. I have heard people say if you have a good cry you feel better - reread side effects of crying.

HorseLady - think you are great, but we sure are different.
 horselady48
Joined: 1/10/2006
Msg: 19
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:06:21 PM
moraima - thank you very much but isn't it our differences that make us each special people?
 So_Sweet_Mama
Joined: 6/13/2006
Msg: 20
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:47:52 PM
I also know what I want: Jeff Goldblum. Now thats one gorgeous man.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 21
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 4:52:26 PM
Our differences sure do make us special. Celebration for the special us

I think we are so different because we have been put on this earth to do different. I am sure you all are able to do some wonderful thing with your lives.

If I cried easily I wouldn't be able to do rescue work here and in the third world. See there is a reason God made me a lady who rarely cries.

No wonder the men can't figure us out. We are just to special to categorize. Yes, men, we know what we want. We just all want different things. Men need to sort amongs us to see what is a fit for them, instead of figuring out what we all want.
 lil miz QT
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 22
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:08:37 PM
I agree with that statement.
 dust2gold
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 23
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 7:50:07 PM
Wow I think I know where to find that perfect man. Now lets see... 1 from column A, 2 from column B, A little from that post up there...

Yup. He is out there alright. Now if I could only find a way to put the pieces together.
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 24
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What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:17:27 PM
A man over 40 who is looking for a woman over 40?
What do women look for in a man after 40?
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:01:42 PM
This man over forty, is looking for a woman over 40......... I honestly believe women are at their peak attractiveness in their lat 30's and 40's........ perfect combination of appearance and confidence and knowing better what they want out of life and in a relationship..... i have no desire to date a 20 something...... I have a 24 year old Daughter that would just be too weird.......and beyond that, what would I have in common with her? Would the sex be better? I don't think so, at one point in time I think we all have said that we are far better lovers at this point in our life than we ever were.......
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