| A question for the ladies.. The word "NOTHING"..
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:45:01 AM | Hi Ladies,
Want to know something that seems to happen quite a bit..
The last 3 gf that I have had have this magical word called "NOTHING"
It does not matter what the problem may be.. Small or large or anything...
Scenario:
You know that something is bothering them deeply, you can sense it..
You ask them what the problem is.. and they say "NOTHING"
OK, I delve a little deeper cause I know that there is still a problem
They say "NOTHING IS WRONG, OK"
What are they trying to say?
What does NOTHING mean?
Is it some sort of secret code for women that means I don't want to discuss it?
Maybe he will just read my mind and it will magically disappear or something?
I don't know
Help Please.... | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:51:39 AM | What does NOTHING mean?
"Nothing" means: "if you don't know, then I'm not telling you". It's a declaration that she refuses to communicate further..
Is it some sort of secret code for women that means I don't want to discuss it?
Nothing secret about it -- she's not willing to talk about it for whatever reason, and unless you like to torture yourself, you'd probably do best by respecting that fact. | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 3 | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:00:10 AM | "Nothing" means: "if you don't know, then I'm not telling you". It's a declaration that she refuses to communicate further..
Precisely what I said in my post.. Are we supposed to be mind readers and just know what the problem is? I can't read her mind, so unless she communicates her problem you can't fix it.. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:11:26 AM | Nothing for me has a few meanings;
1. I am so PISSED that if I try to explain you'll end up wearing your coconuts for earrings, so it's best to leave me alone.
2. I am moody as hell right now and I have NO IDEA why I'm mad
3. It has nothing to do with you, and I don't think you would understand...
Usually the first one; if I want you to know what's wrong, I'll tell you. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:13:03 AM | In a simple way, you've asked a complex question. The word "nothing" can have a myriad of connotations. It could mean she has a difficulty and there is nothing you can do. It could mean her hormones are surging, and she knows she's in a mood for no reason. It could mean she doesn't think you are in an appropriate place in your relationship to discuss the issue. It could mean she is uneasy about your response. Or, it could even mean there is nothing wrong. Most women are communicators and rarely fail to let the guy in her life know she has a problem. Unfortunately, we all too often (men and women are guilty) expect our partners to interpret our words and signals in the same manner we send them. After many years of trial and error, I have found when I receive the "nothing" response, my best course of action is to reassure them if they ever feel a need to discuss a difficulty or just someone to whom they can vent, I am ready to listen with an open mind. Then, if at some point they do open communication, for goodness sake, keep an open mind.
Humm...things are screwy with my 'puter so this may post twice. | |
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Okito
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Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:14:28 AM | It MeanS!!!!!!!!!! .. "I am putting this issue in my Special mental file for the time being .. only to be reproduced at the worst possible moment 6 months from now .. And you better hope to hell you remember!!"
thats when ya get used to the saying .... Yes dear ! 
Keet awaits the flying poop | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:16:09 AM | | .......maybe she is stressing about something that really has nothing to do with you and she really doesn't want to talk about it. Why don't you just leave it alone, but let her know that you are there if she wants to talk about it. If you get off the subject and she is still...I'll use the word intolerable, then go do something with your buddies tonight. | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:16:59 AM | Mess #2 put it best...
But you asked so here you go.......
When there is a lack of communication for long enough, or one is with someone that disccus can't
things like an adult, they stop trying. They realize that the talk will just cause more trouble for them....
The funny thing is you made it clear that this is a problem YOU keep having in relationships.
Not just this one....lol.... So In MY wisdom I say look at your self, and see what you need to change to keep the problem from coming into your relationships..
Or do NOTHING and keep getting the same thing...
an old soul... | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:18:57 AM | As I see it, communication is a key tool to be use in any type of interaction, when a person allows emotions to take over and so cut communication lines and therefore understanding, there's no much you can do.
You could help the person to get to an analytical level where communication can be reestablish, but if you do that every time it happens, you'll get tired of it, so it wouldn't work either way.
My suggestion would be, look for someone who is capable to communicate under any given circumstance and likes to solve problems instead of creating them. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:21:51 AM | You have hit the answer right on target, men and women means and hear different things when the word" Nothing "is said as a reply. I say it some times but I on;py want the guy to say"I know its not Nothing Please tell me I CARE, when your upset Darling" and You can talk to me about any thing.......But I have never yet found that prefect caring, in sight ful man to give me that reply,, so yes I come back with really nothing because I see, getting into the real reason for my behavior, would not lead any where meaningful to our relationship.
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:28:38 AM |
“Nothing" means: "if you don't know, then I'm not telling you". It's a declaration that she refuses to communicate further.. - bakedsalmon
This pretty much sums it up, BUT...
Nothing for me has a few meanings;
1. I am so PISSED that if I try to explain you'll end up wearing your coconuts for earrings, so it's best to leave me alone.
2. I am moody as hell right now and I have NO IDEA why I'm mad
3. It has nothing to do with you, and I don't think you would understand... - Fry lock
This is also very accurate. I have used "nothing" in all these situations. It really all depends on the situation but more often than not it's 'cause a MAN has pissed us off.
We also know that men like to "fix" things
I can't read her mind, so unless she communicates her problem you can't fix it.. this may be something that we feel you can't or won't fix, so telling you "nothing" saves us the headache of having to clean up the mess and broken pieces after you have tried to "fix" it. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:33:13 AM | | ok, good forum, but I come from another angle here ... why is it when I need a little poking & proding - when i feel like a pile of doo doo, men i've been in contact with are totally insensitive to that, seems they don't even try just turn into jerks about it | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:38:05 AM | " Nothing ", in woman speak, means that if you go away and wrack your brain for a while you might figure out what it was you did wrong or didn't do right.
Don't worry, anything that doesn't involve you, she'll be venting your leg off about. | |
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ponie
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Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:41:00 AM | Smiley...maybe you were dating an adults that feel like proding is for children...
If you were not being a jerk your self you would have opened up when asked, and not tried to play the poke and prod me card..
How can they be jerks if they caired enough to ask in the first place?
Once again, you said also that it has happened in more then one relationship...
And like the op ..... it is them and not you... think about it... Maybe you need to work on you.
So the problem stops following you from relationship to relationship.... | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:45:20 AM | OP: If its happened with the last 3 gf's, I'd be reevaluating my communication methods. If your able to talk about everything and your comfortable she tells you what she thinks then nothing means nothing.
When I say "nothing" it means, leave me alone, I'm going fishin' | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:47:34 AM | | Well I hate to admit this but when I say "Nothing" it usually means that I really need to talk about something but just can't seem to find the right words. I am one of the worst communicators I have ever known. Hummmmmm maybe thats why I'm single. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:51:09 AM |
Are we supposed to be mind readers and just know what the problem is? I can't read her mind, so unless she communicates her problem you can't fix it..
It doesn't need fixing.
Women don't usually need their problem fixing. If they are willing to talk about their "nothing" that's exactly what they want to do. They don't want you come up with the solution. So you just let them vent. Let them look at it from every angle, let them talk thru the various options.
And if you say "what's the matter?" and they say "nothing"
You then say "do you want to talk about it?" and they say "nope"
Then go and get them a cup of tea/coffee/beer/wine/water! And let them know you are they when they do want to talk about nothing.
And give them a hug, which of course they might not want because that's wrong too. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:51:44 AM | It's INFURIATING. I hate that word sooooo much. I did wonder what it meant but I figured it out on my own. It means-kill is going to go have drinks with the boys and I'll be back when you're ready to share whats on your mind. Works every time. (at least in my experience).
Church. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:55:00 AM | | every girl needs a gay man, every guy need a girl to have a gay man, when "nothing" comes out either send her to the gay man or turn gay for an hour yourself, lol i have many gay friend and can say when a "nothing" comes out of my mouth the best person to help fix it is coffee/alcohol, dinner and a cigarette with my best friend and a bit of WTF, then go back and say sorry sweety i was cranky im calmer now this is the reason. | |
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| A question for the ladies.. The word NOTHING..
Posted: 6/16/2006 9:56:37 AM |
It MeanS!!!!!!!!!! .. "I am putting this issue in my Special mental file for the time being .. only to be reproduced at the worst possible moment 6 months from now .. And you better hope to hell you remember!!"
thats when ya get used to the saying .... Yes dear !
So does that mean it will be retrieved at her 6 monthly review Keety... ...hmmm "yes dear""
I think it's all been said! I have sometimes been in this situation and quite frankly not wanted to answer... probably because I've never trusted the relationship enough to be as honest as I want to be.. for fear of rejection...C'est la vie! | |
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