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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?      Home login  
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 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 1
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?Page 1 of 13    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13)
Hi all,

I have a question for ladies only, please. If you had a chance to post on some website what a jerk your ex boyfriend is and how he hurt you so that the world would know who he really is, would you do it? Every response counts. Thanks!
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 2
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:09:13 PM
Absolutely not!!!

There is never an excuse to act in what I would perceive as such a childish and immature manner. Regardless of what has happened in a relationship, it shouldn't be bandied about a website for the entertainment of either yourself or others.
 pebbles6263
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 3
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:10:04 PM
YES. I would definitely let every one know what a jerk he is. So he doesnt fool some other poor unsuspecting girl to have to give him the amount of money he conned me out of!!!
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 4
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:11:26 PM
Thank you for your reply! What if it's not for entertainment, but an honest attempt to warn other girls of him? Would you find that reasonable?
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 5
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:15:53 PM
Still no, this rings of bitterness and being vindictive.

Let's face facts, posting on a website draws a much larger audience than what would be required if you just wanted to warn unsuspecting women of him. Besides, there is always more than one side to every relationship.

Think of it this way, would you like it to be posted on a website what an easy mark he found you? I think not...
 kap10cavy1963
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 6
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:22:07 PM
Never thought about it, not that I have any ex boyfriends.
I live in a small town and didn't have to tell anyone what my ex did.
My daughter told her friends, they told they parents, now everyone knows.
And she wonders why all our old friends won't give her the time of day.
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 7
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:23:57 PM
There already is a website about this. A lot of the women lie, there is no way of knowing which aren't just pissed cause they got rejected and made up stuff. There's also a website out there where men do the same to women and there weren't too many women on here when they found out that they approved.

They're both immature and stupid.
 Stairwell
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 8
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:26:58 PM
For me, once the relationship is over, it's over. No more contact, no more little childish games. For me, I use my time to do other, more enjoyable things. It just takes too much time to try to find an audience that cares what some idiot did to me, especially if they're now having fun together (they might be having a different experience with that idiot that I did).
 drubedo
Joined: 5/21/2006
Msg: 9
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:27:08 PM
With all due respect, if you are suggesting that somebody expose the details of failed relationships and thus reveal personal information, perhaps it would be best to start by at least providing a filled-out profile. Your entire profile is essentially "prefer not to say". Well you know what, most folks whose name would get posted on your suggested site would "prefer they don't say".

What you suggest would have all the lawyers salivating. Imagine the lawsuits. They have enough in the way of easy-street revenues than to do this, unless of course that is exactly what you do for a living Ü.. cheers
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 10
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:27:59 PM
Thank you, pssst. I hear your point: exposure is bad whatever it is, right? Will you still disagree with me if I compare a woman being mistreated, used, hurt or violated in another way in a relationship to abuse or rape victims speaking out their dark secret and throwing down the embarrasment curten? I mean if he's treated you bad, he's at fault, not you. If he's treated 10 others in this way then when and how will he ever be brought to justice? When and how will he be held accountable for what he's done? When and how will others find out who they should stay away from even if they seem perfectly nice at first? Don't you think it would be a good idea to have some kind of database and a website where women could share their bad experiece? I truly believe that no woman will want to do that unless and until she feels violated. I believe that a truly good guy's name will never appear on such a website. Please proove me wrong. I appreciate your input.
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 11
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:30:49 PM
To use you're own words..when and how will you make sure that this woman is not lying about the abuse?? When and how can you prove that she's not just being a total ****?
 Big Mike McBastard
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 12
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:32:38 PM
Sounds like merely a way to clothe petty revenge under the guise of good intentions.
 wilderunn
Joined: 2/21/2006
Msg: 13
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:33:21 PM
OK, OK... I'm gonna share a guy's POV here...

95% of guys on here claim to be nice guys, but a good 75% are so full of it. If you hook up with a guy, especially from here, and he turns out to be a sleaze, you have every right to post something to that effect. Men talk amongst themselves all the time about how this girl turned out to be a complete wh*re or how that girl turned out to be a total psycho. But in this new age where so much of our communication is done on the net, you should feel free to vent yourself in a way that everyone can see, not just your fiends. If this guy was a total pr*ck to you, chances are he'll do it again to the next girl on his hit list. So many men today are serial players and deserve to be called out. Sure it's a bit on the vindictive side. Sure it's a bit on the immature side... We're all allowed to be a bit vindictive and immature now and then, eh?
 Brunette Okie
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 14
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:33:45 PM
if i thought he might be dangerous to other women i would, but if i just thought he was a jerk then i wouldn't. just because what he does annoys the hell outt of me, doesn't mean the next woman won't find it adorable.
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 15
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:34:32 PM
Thanks, *jenni*,
tha's an excellent point! I thought about it. I do believe that no woman would fake or create that kind of history on purpose unless and until she's been violated. I may be naive on this one. Please proove me wrong. And by the way, what is that website? I sincerely want to check it out! Thanks.
 Stairwell
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 16
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:35:54 PM
Where to start....
First, there are too many false allegations that have gone around, sparked by whoever towards whomever for whatever reason. There has to be a process of verifying fact.
Courts and word of mouth can take care of those who do bad...why the f**k should people outside of his jurisdiction have their time wasted?
However, there are also people that get away with crap, I'll admit. However, there is the bigger picture we have to look at.
 dorkfully geekalicious
Joined: 1/14/2006
Msg: 17
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:40:22 PM
There are tons of women out there who'll make the false abuse accusations, just like there's tons of men out there who'll say a woman is easy and he got laid by her just cause she rejected him.
 Stairwell
Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 18
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:44:25 PM
It's all he-said, she-said, they-said, I-didn't-say/do-that drama. It's best to wait until the immediate emotions have subsided at least a little bit before doing the big things.
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 19
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:49:33 PM
If there is already a website with this, I know for sure I'm not dating a guy whose name appeared there. Two wrongs don't make it right. I'd like to know if there is the "wrong" behind a man's back. Cause that sort of tells a lot about him. Could someone tell me the link?
 mebabs
Joined: 6/9/2004
Msg: 20
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:49:48 PM
He was not really a jerk I think I was just nieve into believeing that there could have been something. I dont think that anyone is really jerks people are just who we are....Okay am I only kidding myself...herhehhe
 still_dreaming
Joined: 3/22/2006
Msg: 21
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:50:13 PM
i'd expose him in a heartbeat.....been over for a long time.....but would love the world to know what a slime ball he is.
 psssst
Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 22
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:53:03 PM
Thank you, pssst. I hear your point: exposure is bad whatever it is, right? Will you still disagree with me if I compare a woman being mistreated, used, hurt or violated in another way in a relationship to abuse or rape victims speaking out their dark secret and throwing down the embarrasment curten? I mean if he's treated you bad, he's at fault, not you. If he's treated 10 others in this way then when and how will he ever be brought to justice? When and how will he be held accountable for what he's done? When and how will others find out who they should stay away from even if they seem perfectly nice at first? Don't you think it would be a good idea to have some kind of database and a website where women could share their bad experiece? I truly believe that no woman will want to do that unless and until she feels violated. I believe that a truly good guy's name will never appear on such a website. Please proove me wrong. I appreciate your input.


If a woman is mistreated in a relationship, how theraputic is it to announce this to the world? Would justice not be best served with a call to the police? This now sounds like vigilanteism. Neither morally or legally acceptable; at least that is so for where I live.

As for assisting the lady to recover from such a traumatic experience, there is nothing that can compare with both crisis counselling and intensive therapy. Physical abuse towards a woman, regardless of the type, leaves not only exterior marks on the body, but even more damaging is the marks left on her psyche. Certainly not something to be bandied about on a website.

Ultimately, you are correct, he is at fault for the abuse, but you would then be held accountable for not bringing him to justice to help in a more realistic and productive way to end this...

As for believing that a truly good man's name would never appear on such a site, I am not so naive in thinking that women don't stoop to such levels. Are women infallible? Once again, I think not...
 MsAphrodite
Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 23
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:54:13 PM
If a man acts like a b*stard, he has it coming...

I'm all for 'Outing" these users, abusers and betrayers. But only if the facts can be verified with evidance, not just hearsay. Call it a Civil Court hearing if you want.

Unsuspecting people have a right to know.
 alwaysme
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 24
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 5:57:25 PM
No, I wouldn't, because women will find out for themselves when a jerk is a jerk. I know that I am the type of woman that follows her own heart, I follow my own instinct and I do not judge people based on word of mouth. I think that if the guy is really a jerk, and you try to warn his current flame, she is only going to look at you like you are a bitter ex. These women find out for themselves in due time when a guy is a jerk, I say, let nature take its course!
 bazooza
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 25
Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?
Posted: 6/16/2006 6:07:47 PM
Thanks, alwaysme. I can't agree with you. What are you saying? "Let him hurt whoever he wants to hurt because hurting is natural? Let's not stop the boolly?" Just to clarify I'm taking about violating moral law, not the legal issues here. I'm talking about boollying (did I spell it right?), supressing personality, insult, hurting feelings, disregard and disrespect towards a woman. The law doesn't protect from those things, but shouldn't anything? I mean what's good about letting other victims fall into the same trap? For many women it's a waste of time at least! Five years with one jerk, another five years with another - oops, all of a sudden you are too old to have kids! Wouldn't a woman want to know a little faster what kind of a person this guy is whithout rediscovering a bicycle all over again?
Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > Do you want the world to know what a jerk he is?