| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:35:58 PM | It has recently come to my attention, that meeting men while still chatting with others, bothers some men. ( coffees/lunch) What is the problem? I am not going to make a decision on whether I want to date someone simply based on chatting, and definetly not on one meeting or even two....I have no desire to rush into anything. If the meetings are platonic, it is hurting noone. I wouldn't expect a guy to stop all contact because he showed interest in me. I believe it takes a bit more than that.  | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:41:52 PM | smart lady.
i totally agree with you. guys do not don't stop shopping around just cuz they meet 1 girl that sparks some interest in them so why the heck should we? it takes a heck of a long time to determine if someone is dateworthy. as respectable decent women we have every right to not sell ourselves short and just get with the first thing to come along (as i learned from personal experience lately). | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:52:34 PM | I find that the guys who are like that have trust, immaturity, and/or severe issues.
I don't know why they behave like territorial baffoons.
The only time it's justified is when there's a long track-record of breaking trust. Even then, it's better to deal with it immediately rather than let it go on for a day or two.
My advice is to pass on the guys who behave in such a way.
I remember a couple years ago, one of my exs tried to make me jealous. At that point, I trusted her beyond a shadow of a doubt. At this time, we went to different universities in different cities (not that far apart). One weekend, I had to stay in Toronto, and she was heading back to our hometown. She was going with three friends--two guys, and another woman. They were all staying at her parents place. She kept on joking around that 'who knows, things might be different after this weekend.' Didn't help we had an unrelated disagreement the night before they all left, but I still wasn't worried. I knew nothing would happen. I didn't know the other guy, but I trusted her enough. She kept joking around about it though.
After they got back, we were talking on the phone. She said that he was a great guy, really interesting, down-to-earth.
Less than two weeks ago, we broke up. To be hurtful, she tried telling me she was interested in the other guy, that there has been a spark since her and I were going out.
I got the last laugh though.
I had no problem passing on the e-mail he sent me. He was interested in going to my university, strictly based on the fact that he was looking for a boyfriend, and he heard my university had the largest gay community around. | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:53:55 PM | Uh... if some bozo guy on here gets his knickers in a knot because you are talking to other guys the HES A THROW BACK. Sure some guys will act like that...why??? Because they're jealous, controlling and retarded. So.....lots of guys like that in the world, no surprise there.
Just discontinue any and all contact with a freak like that. No explanation necessary. That behavior is a big warning flag of things to come with him. | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 2:58:16 PM | WOW!!! I just got a message saying that someone wanted this thread deleted. Someone thinks this is an ***attention/pity*** thread. How is that? Not seeking any personal attention or pity here!!! Just adding a thread...lol...
First for everything.... | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:00:00 PM | When I don't have feelings for anyone... then I think it's fine.
The whole "getting to know them" stage is when you'll still be talking to several people... learning things about them and all that...
But, as soon as I have real feelings for someone... then I focus on that person.
I will still talk to others... but as friends. And let them know that there is someone I'm currently interested in.
It's a respect thing for me.
If we're just getting to know each other... and you're still meeting other guys... that's fine.
But, once we make that connection... once we start really "dating" and seeking a relationship with each other... I'd hope that you would respect me enough to leave the others at the "friendship" level.
Otherwise... well, then that's just player status coming in. :p | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:09:25 PM | Isn't the whole point of dating is to go out and meet different people and see which one you might want to be in a serious relationship with, if that is indeed what your looking for.
I think it's foolish to think that just because you've met someone, had a date, and things went well, that he/she should clear their mailbox and erase their profile. That's the whole point of dating. To meet different people, go out, have fun, and try to find your match.
At this point, your not exclusive, and until you have the talk stating otherwise, you should never assume that the peoson you are dating is only seeing you. Dating, I thought, again, meant seeing and meeting different people. That should only stop when you meet someone you like and wish to spend time with them and them only, as in a seriously relationship.
Don't ever assume your the only one until you hear it from the other person telling you so.
And if you can't trust them when they do tell you so, I don't see the relationship going very far. Even if you have reason to believe he/she might be lying, if there is no trust, there is no relationship. If you cant/dont believe someone, why be with them? | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 3:16:04 PM | I agree that just because you've seen someone once or twice, you're not "an item" or anything... it's part of the whole dating thing... to see people until you find that right one for you.
It's when you do truly start having feelings that things should change... | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:23:41 PM | OMG you are sooooooo right! Why do the WOMEN on here take offence that they aren't the ONLY ones you have chatted with on here? I am not sure I understand the logic.........how can you decide on just one person from only maybe a bad pic and some chat? To do anything else (cut off all ties to ANYONE while chatting with a certain woman) is actually quite creepy and a little "psycho"!! | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:53:47 PM | AHhhhhhhh.but there's a bit of respect to this rule.
People will do as they do...But eather party .....putting all their eggs into one basket....
Or thinking that a simple coffee "meet".....will be THE ONE..
Live's in a different time zone than me.
Girls have the oppertunity to have dozens of chat buddys...(potential dates)
{check favirotes}
Guys have to hold their tounge.......and start getting more dates lined up for one day....if they are hitting on the girls that are listed on more than 50 "faviroites" lists.
Common fella's.....half these girls can't sign on without getting swamped by morons
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:54:25 PM | AHhhhhhhh.but there's a bit of respect to this rule.
People will do as they do...But eather party .....putting all their eggs into one basket....
Or thinking that a simple coffee "meet".....will be THE ONE..
Live's in a different time zone than me.
Girls have the oppertunity to have dozens of chat buddys...(potential dates)
{check favirotes}
Guys have to hold their tounge.......and start getting more dates lined up for one day....if they are hitting on the girls that are listed on more than 50 "faviroites" lists.
Common fella's.....have these girls can't sign on without getting swamped by morons
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 8:55:18 PM | AHhhhhhhh.but there's a bit of respect to this rule.
People will do as they do...But eather party .....putting all their eggs into one basket....
Or thinking that a simple coffee "meet".....will be THE ONE..
Live's in a different time zone than me.
Girls have the oppertunity to have dozens of chat buddys...(potential dates)
{check favirotes}
Guys have to hold their tounge.......and start getting more dates lined up for one day....if they are hitting on the girls that are listed on more than 50 "faviroites" lists.
Common fella's.....have these girls can't sign on without getting swamped by morons
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/19/2006 10:28:19 PM | I'm glad someone posted a thread like this. I was worrying about this the other day. I have met some really nice people but would still like to continue dating, until I am sure. But I also don't want to offend anyone. I've been telling the people that i've been going out with that I am simply dating for now, but I feel some possiveness creeping in on some ends! How to keep it light? anyone got some suggestions? | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 6:20:47 PM | Don't you wonder if some people want to be 'exclusive' with online dating so they don't have to feel the need to impress you anymore??? Just a thought. If someone is still dating others then that would make them feel a little less confident about being the 'only one'. But if they are truly interested, it shouldn't bother them that you are dating other men. If anything, it shows that you aren't clingy or going to rush into anything. So really is there a way to keep it light and not offend anyone? I would continue to be honest about dating and if it bothers them, it is their problem, not yours. | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:20:10 PM | | Thanks for the feedback! at my age I don't feel the need to rush into anything. I want to enjoy the person's company and if we start to feel mutual chemistry then it's a plus. But the only way to know is to take time, that's something we all have plenty of! once again thanks! | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 7:58:06 PM | | of course its gonna bother them. people are all inherently selfish and they want someone they are seeing to be all about them and no one else. but to avoid dealing with that, just dont tell them that ur seeing other people. simple as that. if ur not exclusive then its none of their business what or who your doing | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 8:59:27 PM | | i'll chat with other men but make it very well known and clear that i am meeting a man at the time..and that things may progress so if they show any interest i tell them straight away... | |
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tinum
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Joined: 6/14/2006
Msg: 23 | |
| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 9:40:17 PM | | If you are dating and it is understood that "that's all" than there is no problem. personaly myself I would date someone and do thing and have fun but I wouldn't be able to become intimate with a woman that date multiple partner at the same time nor would I ever develop feelings. Dating for me is like being friend. if you do become intomate and share a few moment of tenderness than ya it would bother me thinking about my girl dating other guys and talking the same talk we share. I just think that you are either not interested in foming a bond with someone or you are not. you date or you have a relationship jsut needs to be clear. | |
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| Meeting men while still chatting with others...
Posted: 6/20/2006 11:16:18 PM | ya go figure...and if you tell a woman you're meeting that you got a handful of other ones on the messenger...she'll more than likely be more attracted to you....
....geeeez it's like we're opposites or something.... | |
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