| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:22:18 AM | I met an amazing guy a few weeks ago.. he came to my work, never spoke.. but i was brave enough to give him my number.. so he called as soon as i left and we hung out that night and then again the next day ( I didn't spend the night w/ him).. now he is paying for my airfare to come down to see him in chicago.. so for the past two weeks we talk everyday through the phone and text messages..
Im wondering does the Long Distance thing really work or am I wasting my time? | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:24:28 AM | | Of course "it" works. It has worked millions of times. The question really is, will it work for YOU. Only time will tell. It surely isn't the easiest thing and eventually someone has to be willing to relocate. But good luck. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:37:52 AM | | Is it worth all the trouble? Only you can answer. You wish for an all-time fantasy? Or someone real you can be with on a regular basis. Is one of you able to relocate eventually? Only you know what you want. I made that mistake once and learned from it, but it’s just me. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:45:16 AM |
yewmoyed hate to say this but if she does she wont hear from him again either.
Exactly. If he is like most men, she would be smart to wait.
To the OP, yes any kind of relationship can work, if both want it. Who knows maybe it can led to more than a relationship. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:53:56 AM | Double edged sword eh? It wouldn't be such a bad thing to sleep with him but if she does I would bet money that when she gets back we will be reading yet another one of those deletable threads about what should I do now? I slept with him and now he doesn't call me any advice.?????
It really is just sad that the worst thing a woman can have happen to her is great sex.
Oh and by the way your profile specifies not looking for an intimate relationship and must live within seventy five miles. has the world shrunk? why didn't anyone tell me, damm the last to know again......... | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:55:39 AM | having been in more than my fair share of LDR's I would say short term there is no problem. Long term it cannot work. At some point you need to get a little closer.
I could wax on about why and such but I think its pretty clear absence may make the heart grow fonder for a while but ultimately you want to be with that person more than once a month etc...all fondness aside.
This is not to say you shoudlnt enter one, but you need to be realistic about that type of relationship..especially if it starts as a LDR. There is definately something romantic about the time you will have together..its just after a year or so some of the charm kinda wears off.
good luck to you anyway!
...and i would always advise that you follow your heart..so if youre feeling him than definately find out for yourself if your heart will grow fonder! | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 11:59:54 AM | My cousin is Canadian and she met and married an American. It worked for her. They were both commited and loyal to each other.
But remember, sometimes the person that we think we knew is not that person. Sometimes they have more than one person on the go at the same time. It is easier to do when they are far away. Then you feel like a fool.
I do wish you all the best and every happiness. I hope that it works out for you.
~Carrie B. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:01:14 PM | i think the thing you are asking is : am i ready to go throught the pain if i belive in it , if i belive it is the answer to my needs and if it doesn't work will i be ok with it, should i take the risk to get hurt again or should i take the easy road on time and blow it.listen to your heart and you instinct and your experience.do you want him becouse you are board hurt and lonely or becouse he tells you what you dream to her for such a long time or it becouse he is really worth it?  | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:10:57 PM | The REAL question is, CAN YOU AFFORD a long distance romance? Who would be footin the travel expenses?
I personally couldn't do it, and I wouldn't expect the guy to pay for it all. Just a thought! | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 12:26:19 PM | Hey, just wanted to tell you that Long Distance relationships do work. I was in one for 3 years. I lived in South Florida while my boyfriend lived in Los Angeles. We met over the internet too. We became instant friends and traveled every 2-3 months to see one another. Trust that it will be hard work and it can get frustrating at times. Times like when you are home alone and feel the urge to hug or kiss that person. UGH! That was the worst! Or the times when you have so much fun and get used to them being there, they have to leave!  That's what I hated most about the long distance. Other than that, it mainly depends on you and the other person. You're going to have to have trust and be able to adjust to not having them around most of the time. My boyfriend and I ALWAYS had access to one another. When we needed each other, we could always get in touch. No matter what. Phone calls, emails, etc. never went unanswered. We always spent hours on the web cam.
PLEASE DO UNDERSTAND THAT EVENTUALLY SOMEONE HAS TO RELOCATE.
Unforunately, my EX-boyfriend and I didn't see eye to eye on the relocation deal.
I personally do not prefer long distance these days, but that's a personal choice. I do know that LD relationships work as long as the two people invloved have LOVE, LOYALTY, RESPECT, TRUST and can see eye to eye when it comes to re-location.
Good Luck!  | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:37:15 PM | | I think long distance relationships can work if both people really really want them to work . If two people really want to be together they will figure something out ... one way or another and be patient . | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 3:53:49 PM | | Only in the short term, I would say. After that, one of you should move, or maybe you both should? Perhaps a nice little place halfway, so you can visit each others' family and friend's alternative weekends? Or Christmas's if it's another country or continent. Personally, I would only ever envisage myself doing this for Nicole Kidman. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 4:20:12 PM | It can work, I'm sure, but its hard. I had one 3 hours away, and we got along well until she, well, *demanded* I move up there and marry her. And y'know, I was willing, but y'know, lets talk.. because it means a lot of other things, like me selling my house, moving, finding another job, etc... if I was renting an apartment or something it would have been a much easier decision. What killed it was me saying "lets talk, theres a lot involved in this, we need to figure out how this is going to work" (ie, lets find some 'headhunters' and get my resume out there, I do have a mortgage that has to keep getting paid while I'm moving... live with her, work up there, go down on weekends and work on cleaning up the house, painting to make it "sellable", packing, etc..). Oh, wait, sorry, impatience, no talk... move now or its over. Yeah, it was over (that was at 6 months).
Eventually, one of you is going to have to move if its ever going to work, and I think there has to be some willingness on both sides to work together to make that happen & work (what I didn't get). I'm luckier now, because I work from home virtually all the time, so it wouldn't matter *which* home I was working from, I don't have an "office to be in"... now I just don't have a woman to move to :-P c'est la vie.
Can it work, sure. Will it work, only time will tell. Would I try it again? Probably, for the right person. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 4:48:36 PM | If this man is willing to give in to you, respect you, has always time for you (and if he doesn't, at least calls you), fills you up with lots of details and attention, is serious and consistent in his actions, appreciates you, listens to you, is your rock and your shoulder, is willing to go all the way and makes you feel very in love (with the so called butterflies included), then you're not wasting your time. You have to keep in mind that the longing will be strong, you will feel like giving up. But if this man is willing to go through it all with you, you're not wasting your time. Time will have the last word...
I wrote this poem for my girlfriend, so you can get the idea.
(No Boundaries)
I understand that you feel fear
telling me you need my embrace
my lips and their taste
You claim for my eyes and my face
and say "I don't know what to do, you're just not
here"
Baby, its not my fault for this distance
and I'm aware of this limitation
the implications
and that the love we feel could die
in an instant
But love has no boundaries
ahead of us awaits the most happiest days
faith that in my arms you will stay
because our love definitely goes
beyond conventional and ordinary
We both have felt longing
we have shed our tears
but in your words of love I'm holding
stay strong and don't lose hope
soon this anxiety will disappear
Love has no boundaries
so they say
My love for you is not temporary
so reserve a flight to your life one way
for a permanent stay | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 5:08:46 PM | wow thats a great poem i loved it
Me and my bf are 8hrs away and its really hard im always scared that hes gonna get distant or fall outta love with me it scares me alot when i gotta go home..
can someone give me a answer to if he is in love with me
i usally go there for a mth and come home for a week or 2 and go back to were he is for another month and its been 2mths in total that i been with him at his place
but we talked for 7mths on the net b4 we made it offical that we were a cpl...
but now he has some concerns
now im scared
can anyone tell me if he really loves me ?? | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 6:25:11 PM | | I believe they can work if both people make them work. It will be hard of course because you won't be albe to see each other as much as you want to. Eventually one of you two are going to be willing to relocate for the other. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 6:52:01 PM | Since you intiated contact, I would do my best to ensure he isn't playing on your wishes in order to accomplish something underhanded.... you know what I mean?
I guess I would maybe assess his expectations according to the sleeping arrangements decided upon. As well, what did you tell him you were expecting?
If it's a physical infactuation... I doubt it will work. | |
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| Long Distance Relationships Do they work?
Posted: 6/21/2006 7:46:14 PM | sleep with him and it may be over. don't sleep with him and it may be over. well lets do the really smart thing here. have him fly to see you instead. and don't sleep with him. then if he does'nt ever call again then at least you did'nt have to make that long trip. he did.
and yes long distance can work. would work for me if she was as interested in me as i read others are on these threads with others. | |
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