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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?      Home login  
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 sweetspiritme
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 1
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?Page 1 of 17    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17)
Are there any widows/widowers that still wore their wedding bands
after their spouse passed and if you did, for how long?
I seem to have a hard time taking mine off but it has only been
7 months

PLEASE don't delete!!
 Scheherrazade
Joined: 11/5/2005
Msg: 2
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:26:02 PM
In my family its always been tradition to move the wedding ring from the left hand to the right hand at the funeral and mine stayed there for 15 yrs until I knocked a stone out of it. When I remarried the new ring went on my left hand and the old ring stayed on my right hand. I would not have taken it off if I had not damaged it. even then it about broke my heart.
 retrogirl44
Joined: 9/13/2004
Msg: 3
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:29:07 PM
I put mine away in a safety deposit box and moved on but after 3years , I am now hoping to find a good guy and a new life ,whatever comes first lol
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 4
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 2:51:45 PM
I can't remember how long it has been since I removed my Wedding ring (have been a widow for a long time). I do still wear the eternity ring my last husband gave me. It is more because the ring is comfortable to work in and the other rings I have spin on my fingers, so they end up in my jewellery box. I have very small fingers, and finding a comfortable ring is very difficult. If I was involved with someone who didn't like me wearing it, I would probably remove the eternity ring. I have never had a man I dated even mention it, though.
 dimplez_52
Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 5
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 5:44:37 PM
I have been a widow now 6 years and yes i wear mine on my right hand .. and yes a few of the dates i been on ask me will i take em off if we got serious .. i cant answer it cuz i havent had a serious realtionship since my hubby died .. I'm a true romantic lady here waitin for her gentleman .. take care and god bless ...
 green_67_stang
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 6
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 5:57:12 PM
I have been a widow for 2½ years and wore my rings for at least the first year and I wore my hubby's band as well. I now wear my engagment ring on my right hand and have put the bands away. My band was my grandmothers and I hope to be able to pass both bands on to my son someday. I love my engagement ring and will wear it when ever I wish and don't see a problem wearing it if I am ever lucky enough to get involved in a serious relationship. I was feeling really low last week (PMS was a major contributing factor) and wore my hubby's band one day. Every time I looked at it I cried, so I decided to put it away for good now. I have three rings including my engagement ring that were given to me by my husband and I have considered taking them to a jeweller to have them remade into a new ring using all the stones. A friend suggested it and I thought it was a great idea.
 newlife1960
Joined: 6/18/2006
Msg: 7
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 6:32:16 PM
He died in 1993. I wore it on my left hand for many years and then finally moved it to my right hand and that is where it will stay until the day I die and will go to my grave with me.
 okiedokietxxx
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 8
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/21/2006 7:59:35 PM
i have'nt lost a wife. but i'd still like to weigh in here. wear the ring as long as you want. when you meet another partner in life i would hope they'd have no problem in you're still wanting to wear it. I am sorry for this thread since it is a real life question that is very much real for you. i am also sorry that life takes partners from us. but its life and we go forward the best we can.
 trishaJ
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 9
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 3:44:16 PM
Hi....It's been a year.....I now wear my wedding rings on my right hand....maybe someday I will take them off....not yet.
 laurelmoonstar
Joined: 5/26/2006
Msg: 10
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 4:41:21 PM
Although I havent lost a spouse to death, Im sure that if I loved him with all my heart, I would still wear my wedding band. However, you dont wanna know what I did with my wedding band when I was finally free of my ex! LOL
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 11
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 5:11:16 PM
Keeping wedding rings in the safe is a shame too. Can't bring myself to have the diamonds made into earrings. Couldn't handle loosing that memory.
 Muskoka Gold
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 12
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 5:51:13 PM
I've been a widow for 5 1/2 yrs. I had an engagement ring ( solitaire) a wedding band with diamonds & an eternity ring my husband gave me on New Year's Eve 2000. I also kept his wedding band. I wore my rings on my ring finger/ left hand for 4 yrs.and kept his in a jewellry box. I also took it out every once in awhile and grieved some more.

During those four years, I was often asked " if my husband was at work" or " did I have to go home and talk it over with my husband" It really was painful to always explain that my husband had passed.

So I decided,as part of my healing process, to take all 4 rings ( my three rings and my husbands) to a jeweller. He designed a very special ring blending my husband's gold band with my gold bands and installed all the diamonds.

I now wear it on my right hand. I see this ring as a sign that even though I'm left to move on...he is still a precious part of my life. And, it's the best thing I ever did.

On my ring finger on my left hand I always wear one of my Mom's rings ( she passed in 2003)
I know my Mom won't mind if I meet someone else special and committed to me.She would want me to wear their gift of a ring as a sign of our love and put her's in the jewellry box.

Muskoka
 scorpio561110
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 13
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:46:35 PM
My husband died in February after an extended illness. I wear my ring most of the time, but have been leaving it off when I am out alone.
 sunshine62
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 14
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/22/2006 7:51:32 PM
I don't wear my wedding band, but I do wear my engagement ring (on the right hand).
 Lnstarkiss
Joined: 5/8/2006
Msg: 15
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/23/2006 4:20:57 PM
My hubby was a "bling, bling" kind of guy, so my wedding and engagement rings were never practical for everyday wear. When I'm going to a dressy event, I still put 'em on. Why not? They are very pretty, and it makes me happy.
 barbie_alto
Joined: 6/22/2006
Msg: 16
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/24/2006 1:18:14 AM
If you are a widow/ widower wearing a wedding ring it shows that you were parted through a cruel twist of fate and not because you no longer loved the person who gave you the rings? Anyone who demands you remove that ring and tells you it is time to move on has no understanding of the emotions involved and is maybe not the person for you.
No I have not been widowed , I removed my ring when I seperated and no longer loved the man that gave the ring to me, but I am sure that had I been widowed I would have found it very difficult to remove.
 Cheryl Crowe
Joined: 12/8/2004
Msg: 17
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/24/2006 6:37:01 AM
I think that if a person is fortunate enough to have actually found true love and lost their partner they should wear those rings for as long as they are comfortable doing so.

Someone new who demands the rings be removed should be shown the door. Your spouse has passed on, they are not a threat however some people find them as such.

My Uncle (for who in h*ll knows what reason) re-married a couple years after my Aunt passed on and this new b*tch freaks any time he goes to the cemetery to put flowers on or just do some thinking there. He was married to my Aunt for over 40 years. I'm quite sure any rings he may have had that associated him with my Aunt were removed and well hidden long before the I do's were said in his case. Seriously, I know he re-married for companionship but this particular woman has been everything but. Long story.
 opus66
Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 18
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/28/2006 9:04:33 AM
I think this is a very personal issue and there is no right or wrong answer. Instead of worrying about the "traditional" or "correct" thing to do, I believe you should do whatever makes you (and only you) comfortable.

My wife passed away last year, and I remember asking my brother at the funeral if it was ok to still wear my wedding band. I was 39, hadn't ever worried or thought about this before, and at the time, I *was* wondering what the "right" thing to do was. He said, "If you want to -- whatever you want to do is the perfectly fine."

I wore the ring for a couple of months after that, but later realized that every time I looked at it, it reminded me that she *wasn't* here, and I couldn't bear being "tortured" by it every day. I ended up removing it and placing it with her engagement/wedding bands in a jewelry box. While I initially had to deal with some self-inflicted guilt for not wearing it, I don't feel like I'm dishonoring her. Our love was not defined by the wearing, or not wearing, of a piece of circular gold. If she's watching, I know she can tell how much I loved her, and will always love her, regardless of whether, or how, I wear my wedding band.

I say -- do whatever makes *you* comfortable.
 marcia2
Joined: 5/14/2006
Msg: 19
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/28/2006 2:33:44 PM
Muskoka - I've been reading posts from you for quite a while and they've always been full of good advice and honest emotion.

This post about what you did with your 4 rings is incredibly touching. And incredible wise.
I think what you did was so lovely and such a great personal solution.
 Reteach63
Joined: 5/22/2006
Msg: 20
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 6/28/2006 10:46:35 PM
Hi Sweetspiritme and others,
I wore my wedding band for 38 years, so it was hard to take it off. However, after I got over what I call my boo-hoo stage, I decided that it was time to take it off and get on with my life. I believe she would want me to do that.
To some that may seem cold and thoughtless. However, I read in a book that the best way to move on in your life is to face the facts. She is dead and she is never coming back. So why should I continue to sit at home fcrying and feeling sorry for myself?
I will always love her and will never stop thinking about her from time to time, but I do miss having a wife. That is why I am out looking again.
Ron::
 Goldeneye5847
Joined: 1/29/2006
Msg: 21
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:53:03 AM
I wore my wedding band for nearly three (3) years after my wife passed away. I tried moving to my right hand several times. Most of the time it didn't last for more then a day. It was a very hard thing to do. It's been about 4 months since I moved it permanently to my right hand and life goes on.
 brebour
Joined: 3/19/2005
Msg: 22
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 7/2/2006 11:58:24 PM
I have been a widow for 8 years and I wear my ring on the middle finger of my left hand. It is a ring I love and I will wear it forever. Plus since it is quite valuble the safest place for it is on my finger.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 23
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 7/3/2006 9:44:35 AM
Yeah, I wore mine for a while after she passed away.

It was kinda traumatic when I did take it off. Kinda like saying a final goodbye in some strange way....
 aNgeLiCbLoNdiE
Joined: 9/7/2006
Msg: 24
Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 10/25/2006 3:26:21 AM
I dated ALOT in the last 10 years & I noticed widowers are often guilt ridden & hold on to the memory of their dear departed one big time. I had one widower tell me he loved me in his living room, which was like a shrine to his late wife. He talked about her all the time & referred to her as his "wife" even after 2 years. I kept saying "your late wife". I did NOT fall in love w/ him, we were friends, but even that ended fairly fast....Now he is talking about his "wife" to another woman.

I don't mean to be unsympathetic, but a man who still wears the ring & says "wife" needs to be in a bereavement support group, NOT DATING! It is NOT FAIR to the woman who is ready, willing & able to go on w/ her life
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 25
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Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?
Posted: 10/25/2006 3:39:02 AM

He talked about her all the time & referred to her as his "wife" even after 2 years. I kept saying "your late wife".


I still say "my husband," and probably always will. It's not like it's something I talk about a lot, anyway, but if someone were to correct me and say "your late husband," I think I'd be ticked. By the way, two years is not a long time. It's just the beginning, and it doesn't mean he needs counselling. Just time. Geesh.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Widow/Widower-Wearing the wedding ring?