| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/22/2006 10:45:04 AM | What is “good” 
What is “bad”
How do you defeat temptations
Most of us (religious and non-religious alike) are born with basic instincts. We can pretty much figure out what is right and what is wrong. Ask anyone who commits any basic sins and they will tell you that they know what they are doing is wrong. Even a criminal in jail knows what is moral and what is immoral!!!
Once we break a basic law – the majority of us try to justify it and try to claim that – that particular law somehow doesn’t apply to our situation. We also try to portray ourselves as innocent as possible. We tend to believe – we are somehow above the law. Our influenced mind would make us believe that we are not really doing anything excessively wrong and God would forgive us. When we see others do the same thing – only then we realize how wrong that really was.
Temptation is a dangerous thing. Some people (righteous) are never affected by its appeals - while others would melt down at the first sign of something tempting. Then again, there are many (in the middle) who have a limit (or price) before they tend to bend to desires associated to something materialistically alluring or sexually enticing. These people can resist up to a certain level of enticement, after that all hell breaks loose.
Recently I have been trying to be good but I am finding it very hard to stay on the right track. This is why I wonder --- How do the righteous people stay good? 
I guess if you take yourself away from the regular world and isolate yourself within religious doctrines- it may be easier to stay good. In other words if you go to work and then go straight home and stay there. But if you go to clubs and bars or subject yourself to modern nightlife or lifestyle – it is surely very difficult to stay good.
So, the question is --- What is the easiest and most effective way to stay good?
Is it by keeping ourselves away from anything that can influence our moral judgments and tempt us to make a wrong move? Or do you believe – goodness comes from the heart and regardless of different situations one might find oneself in – a good person would always remain good???
If that’s the case then I cannot classify myself as a good person because – I find it very hard to defeat the temptations sometimes.
Ask yourself some of the questions here to see how good you really are…
If you see some money on the street – would you pick it up and keep it?
If your luggage gets switched at the airport and in the wrong luggage you find a suitcase full of money. Would you keep it?
If you are in a committed relationship but a hot co-worker makes a move on you. Would you fall for the temptations? What if you are free but she is in a relationship? It is still a huge sin – is it not?
On a business trip to another city or country – if opportunity presents itself – would you cheat on your significant other?
If your job allows you with an expense account - would you be dishonest while claiming certain expenses and try to justify it and convince yourself that you somehow deserve to claim some extra expense?
If you have an accident – would you make phony claims to get some wrongful benefit from the insurance company? Would you lie about the incident?
Would you simply lie to gain something or for any wrongful reason?
Would you cheat your boss… in whatever way?
If you own your business – would you cheat your customers at any chance you get?
I know many won’t do any of these but then again many are actively doing them. Many owners are dishonest these days. Starting from the doctor’s office to car repair shop – everyone is ripping everyone off. What will happen to these people on the judgment day? (That is if you believe in judgment day!!)
Many commit certain crime out of necessity and many perform certain crimes out of lust or greed. There are different kinds of sins. Poor people may have more reasons to be tempted BUT even an excessively rich person is not immune to temptations. If he doesn’t have desire to break some rules to make more money then he may be tempted by other sinful desires. The list of sinful acts is very long.
How can we stay away from many of these seemingly less intense sins?? A simple lie can do more damage sometimes then a huge sinful act.
So, I guess - it all boils down to one final question --- How bad do you want to be good?  | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/22/2006 11:12:45 AM | Ufortunately for most(myself included) It's when doing the "bad" hurts so much that it makes you want to do good just to get away from the pain.
I think there are too many rules. So I only have two.
1. Love god with all my heart
2. Love thy neighbor as thyself.
Those two simple rules can make you very happy
---T.M.--- | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/22/2006 9:16:29 PM | I wanted to be a better person after having always allowed temptations through the door without a fight. People like me, who accumulate addictions (temptations), one on top of another have a really hard time saying no to things I always said yes to. My addictions piled up in this order; sex, cigs, drugs, partying. It was like a building I had built and had no wish to demolish it.
One day I just got tired of it all. It was hard to say "no" to things I ahd always said "yes" to. I was not famaliar with saying no. So I began with cigs and coffee. I had a pack a day habit and four to five pots of coffee a day habit. The coffee was actually easy. I drank water and juices. The cigs took some will power. In three days I kicked the habit. Never went back. Had urges to, but I found I liked the strength from saying "no". Plus I could smell and breath so much better than before. Things tasted better. I felt in command. A new feeling for me. With this new strength I quit all drugs, drinking and partying as the three were so linked together for me. I felt like superman! I'm serious. I had no idea there was such a normal high to be felt from just saying "no" to temptations. I was on a roll! So I began to say no to sex. My ex and I had a bad relationship. She wanted out and I wanted it to work. So we agreed she could play the field and I didn't have to have sex with her anymore. I nearly went without sex (except for a few occassions with her) for the last two years of our marriage. Then she took off leaving the kids and I. We got a divorce and I kept the kids. I was so happy. I was doing so good all the way around. And then seven ladies of various ages began to hang around my apartment. It began with two who were friends of my ex. For the next several months I had a bed partner of my choosing. I did all seven and some three-somes. It was such a weird thing to happen. Then I got tired of being weak. So I began to say "no". For the next ten years I weaned myself from sex. I finally said a total "NO" to all sex 18 months ago to see if I could do it. I have did it. I am so strong inside from having total complete control of my urges now. It is still a strange thing I am getting use to. I still think sexual thoughts of women but am even working on that one.
What I am suggesting Shadow is something we all know about but don't take time to teach ourselves about. How to say "no" and mean it. Begin with small addictions and work to the bigger one's. Your addictions can be anything from lieing, white lies, a lead foot on the accelerator, cussing, negative thoughts, etc. Work it one at a time and you'll build a strength you'll like. At least I like it and what I have become.
Good luck dude!  | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/23/2006 1:35:43 AM |
Most of us (religious and non-religious alike) are born with basic instincts. We can pretty much figure out what is right and what is wrong. Ask anyone who commits any basic sins and they will tell you that they know what they are doing is wrong. Even a criminal in jail knows what is moral and what is immoral!!!
Religion has nothing to do with basic instincts...religion is taught, instinct cannot be taught. There are people in this world who cannot, through no fault of their own, distinguish moral or immoral...they do not have the capacity.
What is the easiest and most effective way to stay good?
do you believe – goodness comes from the heart and regardless of different situations one might find oneself in – a good person would always remain good???
I think you just answered yourself! Nothing is absolute! Nobody is always good! Nobody is perfect!
What will happen to these people on the judgment day? (That is if you believe in judgment day!!)
I "judge" myself with 2 simple questions...am I happy (within my self) of what I have done for myself, and, am I happy (within my self) of what I have done with, and for others
Poor people may have more reasons to be tempted BUT even an excessively rich person is not immune to temptations
Thats a hell-of-a statement!!!!! Read it again...VERY carefully....me things you just passed judgement.
So, I guess - it all boils down to one final question --- How bad do you want to be good?
Anyone who is desperate (want it bad) to be good...look in the mirror...look at youself...look at (and in) your eyes...look into your soul...are you comfortable with yourself, and your flaws, and I mean deep in your gut, not the fluff, but you in the singular...never mind the others...to thine own self be true... | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/23/2006 6:15:43 AM | I'm going to tackle your question from the perspective of Reformed Theology by using the doctrine of "total depravity" a.k.a. radical corruption. This is the teaching that sin infects all men (and women) to the core of their being. All mankind has sinned and come short of the glory of God. We cannot do good or be good because we are fallen sinners. Even Jesus said, "Why do you call me good. There is none good but God." I believe that any man or woman, myself included, is capable of any sin no matter how heinous, given the right circumstances.
The Christian is redeemed from sin by being regenerated by God the Holy Spirit. When this occurs, the Christian is born again, his heart of stone is turned into a heart of flesh so that he now loves God and desires to please God and obey God (Exekiel 36:26-27). At that instant, the Christian is justified by God. That doesn't mean that the Christian is now perfect. Far from it. He has only started on a lifetime of walking with God. He still sins in thought, word, and deed daily. He must go to the Lord and repent of his sins daily. He is justified by faith. His justification is perfect, but his sanctification is far from complete.
Justification occurs when God imputes the righteousness of Christ to a person by pardoning his sins and by accounting and accepting him as righteous, not for any thing done by him or in him but for Christ's sake alone. Justification is complete at the time of regeneration as well as when the Christian repents of any sin.
Sanctification is a cooperative work between God the Holy Spirit and the Christian. This is the effort a Christian makes in living a holy life--attending church, praying, studying the Bible, keeping himself sexually pure or keeping himself only unto his spouse, avoiding pornography, avoiding drugs, not abusing alcohol, showing kindness and compassion to those in need, etc. Christians have times when they progress and times when they fall--sometimes into very serious sin.
Do I believe in a Judgment? Yes! The only question is: Will the sin be charged to the Savior or the sinner? All sin will be punished. Who will bear that sin? The sins of the Christian were borne by the Savior on the cross. The sinner will bear his own sin because he has refused to accept the offer of a Savior. God's holiness is such that it demands that all sin be punished. Because God is eternal, his wrath against sin must be eternal. The Bible speaks more about the wrath of God than about the love of God! (See Romans 1 and 2.) | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/23/2006 9:32:24 AM | By twistedmourning:
“Those two simple rules can make you very happy”
I have no problem loving God or good neighbors. I wanted to know – how to control and defeat temptations. Thnx for your post though!
At alaska2004:
Thnx for sharing your thoughts on this topic. My problem is a little different. I never smoked cigs or anything in my entire life nor have I ever tried ANY drugs. I also have no problem with drinking.
I can control many temptations but my biggest problem is my sexual temptations. Whether I actually do anything immoral (such as one night stands) – is not the point. The point is – I am tempted to do it. Not to mention - Girls in the clubs/bars don’t make it any easier to avoid such things these days. I know clubs/bars are very wrong place to meet any nice girls but once in a while every single person I know are tempted to go there. The alternate to going to clubs and subjecting myself to such women - is to stay home on the weekends. I am trying and successfully doing that these days. But the sexual revolution within the internet industry and the way it is growing – is not making it any easier to keep my sexual thoughts concealed even when I am home alone.
Any fantasy one may have – with the click of a mouse can be viewed these days. Tons of pictures or clips are available all over the internet. In other words – even at home – mentally and spiritually I can be just as “bad” by surfing the internet as I would have been - had I gone out to the clubs. How do I defeat this temptation? I can stay home but how do I stay away from the internet and all those sites?
I must admit that I don’t have a serious problem with the internet because I try to spend my free time browsing educative sites and read forums such as this one. But once on computer – the thought does occur to browse some sexually explicit sites. This desire is what I seriously want to defeat. This is why – they say to get married at proper age and then have kids. The opportunity to do anything bad won’t be there in that case. I have friends who got married early and have kids – and they complain about not having any privacy or time to surf sexual sites. Men are a lusty animal! Without actually wanting to be good – these guys somehow remain decent. I envy them and their settings!! We all know - “An idle mind is devil’s workshop”. That is how the devil gets me sometimes!! 
I am trying to figure out the best approach in life to help me stay good or at least make it easy for me to be good. I think everyone needs to surround ourselves with family and good friends and do good family things and keep ourselves busy. Then we won’t have the time to think about evil temptations. Keeping busy is one way to keep evil out. Religion does and can help us to stay good, but it doesn’t tell us how to defeat temptation successfully. It only tells to us to defeat it. It doesn’t tell me – when I am surfing the internet – how NOT to visit those sites. It doesn’t show me step by step process to defeat evil thoughts.
A bad “HABIT” cannot be killed but only can be replaced by another act. You remove “H” and “a bit” remains. You remove “A” and “bit” remains. You remove “B” and still “it” remains.
That is exactly what I might try to do – engage in good activities during my free time to keep myself away from evil thoughts.
I don’t believe girls/women have this problem. Men are genetically lustier beings. However there are many women these days (club/bar flies) who are worse than many men I know. These women’s only mission in life is to have a good free dinner in a fancy restaurant and then they are open for any sexual activity.
Done that and been there and I am no longer interested in such activities ANYMORE.  Now I am interested in religion and I am trying to figure out how to stay good. 
I guess it might have been easier for our ancestors to be good because the society was not this open then and there was no internet. They stayed busy with their big families and kept themselves busy with normal everyday family matters.
However, I don’t believe sex is a bad thing when it is performed with a legitimate partner (wife/girlfriend). I know some religion may advocate differently BUT that is what I believe. I don’t believe there is any need to control and stop sexual emotions toward one’s significant other. Only thing I want to control is – temptations towards the wrong women and internet browsing of sites of sexual nature. 
By outdoor2:
“Religion has nothing to do with basic instincts.”
I agree and that is what I said. We are born with our basic instincts. Religion may help us shape it or make us lean towards certain things when we are not sure what our instinct is telling us.
By outdoor2:
“I "judge" myself with 2 simple questions...am I happy (within my self) of what I have done for myself, and, am I happy (within my self) of what I have done with, and for others”
I am not a thief or a liar BUT what if I was and “happy” being one?? Would it make it right? I don’t believe so. Happiness is a subjective and relative thing. Being happy doesn’t make it immoral and right. You could be a business owner and could be very happy to rip off your customers.
By outdoor2:
“Thats a hell-of-a statement!!!!! Read it again...VERY carefully....me things you just passed judgement.”
I am not sure what you meant here!! Poor people can be tempted by little things. They may tell a lie just to gain something small. However, I agree that rich people have many other temptations. But I believe life must be harder for poor people to stay good. When you have excessive need – it is harder to stay good. People in need may find themselves resorting to stealing and committing other wrongful acts. Just go to any third world country and see how easily the people get corrupted. Even the cops (all of them) are corrupted in many poor countries.
By CeeDiff:
“keeping himself sexually pure or keeping himself only unto his spouse, avoiding pornography,”
I know many religions ask us to do just that BUT my question is – how do I do it? How do I defeat the temptation that pushes me towards the wrong way?
Asking me to keep myself sexually pure and showing me how to do that – is two different things. I want to know if any primary religion (monotheistic) shows us how to successfully defeat evil temptations.
At CeeDiff:
I believe Jesus was just a prophet sent by God and Holy spirit is an angel created by God and sent to different prophet with God’s messages and perform whatever God asked him to do. I do not believe God allowed Jesus to be on the cross to wipe our or any Christian’s sins. God allowed Jesus on the cross to show that Jesus was not God. This is another topic, and I tried discussing it but it got erased!! so I am not going to get into anymore details at least not in this thread. However I respect your belief – whether I agree with it or not.
I know about repentance and I know God might forgive whomever he chooses. But my question is – How do I defeat evil temptation so that I don’t even have to repent about it??
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/23/2006 10:40:48 AM | Are you interested in the Christian faith? I saw your thread about Jesus being just a prophet of God. I even responded to you.
I think what you are missing is that YOU cannot keep yourself from temptation without the help and strength of God that comes through regeneration. Once a person is regenerated, i.e. born again by the Holy Spirit as God's sovereign monergistic work in his life, the Christian begins a very SLOW process of sanctification.
Old sins are not overcome in an instant! Sexual sin is all around us. Yes, you can and should avoid temptation, but it doesn't mean you will never fall back into old habits and slip up. You can avoid temptation by not looking at pornography, not going to strip clubs, not going to places where you know there are women you will lust after, saving sex for marriage (as radical as that sounds!), etc. When you fail, pick yourself up, repent and ask God for His grace to keep you from sinning. You ARE GOING TO SIN in word, thought, and DEED every day of your life even if you are a Christian.
Your big problem is that you don't accept Jesus Christ as your substitutionary sacrifice. How can you ask for forgiveness? We can discuss that privately if you would like to.
If you truly want to overcome sin, it is possible that you are already born again even though your understanding of the doctrine of God is unorthodox. The first thing that happens when God regenerates a person is that He puts in the person's heart a love for Him and a desire to obey Him. You do not have to have a religious experience to be "born again." I was born again at the age of 15 without having any contact with church or religion. I didn't understand that I was born again for 30 years even though I knew that my life changed irrevocably and I eventually went to church and loved God. I had a lot of wrong understanding because I got mixed up with a cult for many years, but I was still truly converted.
There are no perfect people. Some of the more charismatic churches teach a type of perfectionism, but they simply redefine sin. The only time Christians will be perfect is when they are fully sanctified in heaven. Until then, we struggle against the world, the flesh, and the devil.
To sum it up, you cannot fight temptation on your own. You have to have the help of the Holy Spirit dwelling in you and sanctifying you. The unbeliever is sold under sin--he is a slave to it. The Christian is a sinner, but he is not a slave to sin thanks to God's grace given to him through the sanctifying work of God the Holy Spirit. | |
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| How bad do you want to be good?
Posted: 6/23/2006 11:20:50 AM | Excellent topic. I have one area which I feel is a temptation for me that I find it extremely difficult.
John talks about this in the bible. "I do what I do not want to do and I don't do what is right..."
I feel that way from time to time. If I find myself in temptation it takes everything I have to stop it. I am not perfect and know that it's impossible to be.
It's easier, they say, to beg for forgiveness than permission but I find the opposite is true. I'd much rather not do the things I shouldn't! | |
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