| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 2:28:00 PM | | i just need some support here............i have a bueautiful daughter who is my heart.............and she is 22, she has a severe epileptic disorder from having spinal menigitus as a baby.....she went into a coma at 6 months and as a result she has status seziures, often in her sleep, grande mal, requiring large doses of valuim to come out of and she has been on a large dosage of depakote for over 6 yrs, which causes severe birth defects so, even though she wants kids of her own, not an option at this time..........and this precious child has become heavily involved in cocaine...............we had to hospitalize her before thanksgiving because when coming down she flipped out, and became suicidal..................and now she is back on drugs again...........and i am eating my way thru a bag of bridge mix because the store was out of pistaccio ice cream..............and she has slammed the door in my face yet again...................and i dont know how to let go.............and let God.............someone talk to me please ......................... | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 2:43:54 PM | | and when i went to check on her today.........her dad was leaving.........he also is worred.............i think she was having petit mals then..........but when this little redhead says i am fine, go .................what choice do i have................i go home and eat chocolate and cry...............because the best part of me is throwing herself away and i dont know how to stop it.................. | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 2:46:09 PM | she has turned so many of my family against her, even my mom says let her go.....she's a grown woman now and she makes her own choices...........but i look at her and i see my little girl, my baby, ..............she wont ever grow up in my heart.................and i cant let go
tammy, girlfriend, i am even scared to drive over and check on her again......... | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 2:54:33 PM | | Lady...oh my God.....I`m so sorry for your situation. I have a 17 yr. old son that is giving me alot of grief too, so I can so relate to you. Although he hasn`t closed any doors with me, he`s bound and determined to live his life the way he chooses(because I don`t know anything) and I`m sure a stint in jail is in his future and that may be just what he needs. I so know where you are coming from. We carried them carefully for nine months, nurtured them all their life, taught them right from wrong, only to lose them to peer pressure,drugs and a society gone crazy. I don`t have any pat answers for you except to say you are certainly not alone with this problem...I know how deeply my situation has affected me...I can only imagine what your situation has done to you. Please find strength in the fact that all you can do is be there when she hits rock bottom(and she will). Make sure she knows that your door is always open for her. You can`t live her life or make her choices for her but you can be there for her when she needs you. Believe me, I know how hard it is to take a step back...but that is what I have done because nothing else worked... I don`t know what else to say...This has been the hardest thing in my life that I have ever done. If you ever want to talk...let me know and I will give you my e-mail address. Be gentle with yourself...You are not to blame...redneckgirl133 | |
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Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 6 | |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 2:57:46 PM | | When you find out what to do, let me know. I have a few Best friends addicted to cocaine and it breaks my heart everytime I see them. I can't imagine your pain. I feel helpless. The only way any of them will get any help is if they go to jail or the hospital. All of my friends come from "good" families and can't blame there addiction on anyone else exept themselves. I don't think you should let go, but I don,t have the answers to suggest what to do. Good luck | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:02:21 PM | Lady
You go check on her.....that is your right as her mother....you can't make her do anything...but you can let her know you care....
My youngest daughter (24) also has seizures.....scares the sh*toutta me when it happens....so i know what you mean about that...
Can you get her institutionalized as a danger to herself? Here in Wisconsin, all that takes is a few signatures...temporary, I know but it might snap her out of it...
Squeak | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:10:49 PM | i'v heard some rely good advice here. my ex was adicted to drugs an kept useing me. in the end i had to let her go cuz i had to put myself 1st. it was hard for me an i no sence i wasn't her parent; it's gona be extra hard for you but what you need to do is do what's best for you cuz you cant help her at al if you don't help yourself 1st. sounds like the best thing for you would be to get away from her for awhile an take some time to sort things out. hopefuly i helped alitel bit   | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:11:26 PM | | well, squeak we did that in november.........and when she got out of the hospital....they recommended counseling and drug abuse therapy, but didnt require it.............and i have been running over to her house daily to check on her after work.....but she just pushes me away at this time........tonight i saw she was having petit malls..........i have talked to her dad and he is as worried as i am.............when someone has a siezure disorder like hers, petit mals are not supposed to be any thing to really get concerned about.............and she knows how to play the health care officials............she is in the epileptic foundation and i have talked to her doctor...but there again, she is a legal adult and the doctor cant break patient/dr. confidentiality rules..............so ................i wait............... | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:15:25 PM | Wish I had real good advice..... I have to agree with squeaks though... you can usually get them institutionalized in most states without too much trouble... but don't expect her to really appreciate it for several years...
You can't give up, you have to stay the fight... for a while anyway... we didn't give up on sis for nearly 20 years.... but you do need to be there, let her know that you ARE there... and pick up the pieces and try again
~~Dragon Rider~~
"Life is---Magic given breath" | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:17:14 PM | Sadly...that is all you can do...she will either hit bottom and look up or hit bottom and stay down....it is all up to her now.....
Be prepared for the worst and hope for the best...
And continue to visit her.....
She needs you even tho she is pushing you away
You may not know it, but you could be all that is preventing her from hitting bottom...
She may not realize it either.
Squeak | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:32:44 PM | | the last time she was in the hospital the dr.s said the cocaine was affecting the partof her brain where the seizures were........so i have no idea what even more cocaine is doing to her system...........but i wont turn my back on her, i have been going over and getting the door slammed daily...........she said today......."why are you so worried about me" i told her to check the name on her birth certificate......its all under the description of mother............silly kid..............i am going to continue checking on her, and loving her, and crying when i need to............and yes, i will devour a couple of pounds fo bridge mix or pistaccio ice cream............ | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:50:24 PM | It may not hurt to baker act her again...I know she can play the system...so can my 14 year old...it did help eventually.
It just about killed me to do it...yes, the 3rd time hurt just as much as the 1st.
I never gave up and never will...we can't, that was programmed from day one!
Wow, never thought I'd be sharing this much of my life with anyone! | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 3:58:55 PM | First of all...It is apparent that you love your daughter and care for her....I am thankful that she does have a support system in place at home and she is fortunate........I would suggest looking into some other outside supports such as a psychiatrist who deals specifially in drug addictions....I would resort to prayer and support groups in the community, such as a church, to help the "family" thru this time as well, as this effects the entire family!!!...Motivational Books can provide peace during the storm as well...."The Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vincent Peale is excellent....
You are in my prayers....If you need a sounding board feel free to email anytime. | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 4:02:49 PM | | Well I used to have quite a drug problem myself when I was her age but luckily I came to my senses... I was really unhappy and alot of crap was happening all around me and I didn't know how to handle it. There is really nothing you can do except this: Never support her bad choices, tell her love her everyday but she is being stupid but you love her anyway and that will never change, and when she hits rock bottom be available to pick her up and help her start over. Don't condone her behavior but be supportive if she decides to change her ways. That is what my parents did for me and when I came to my senses which was very difficult in the cloud of weed I was in but, they were there for me encouraging me to be a better person. I am sure my mother had many sleepless and crying nights over my behavior and when I smartened up I felt terrible for what I had done to the people I loved. But, all of my family and some of my true friends-NOT ALL-IM SORRY TINA-came back when they realized I truly did change. There is nothing a strong loving family cannot get through!!! Be patient and try to give her some times to figure out how to handle some of her problems. Encourage her to go to counseling and monitor her-as much as you can monitor a grown child who wants you to butt out. You probably make her realize what she is doing is wrong and that is probably why she is pushing you away. DON'T GO AWAY!! Be in her face if neccessary because you are truly fighting for her life. I don't want to scare you but some people never recover and that is terrifying to a parent. I wish you all the best with your daughter and I hope she gets the help she needs. | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 4:02:51 PM | | Speaking from personal experience i would have to say that a person addicted will not do anything and no one can do anything to help them until they choose to do it themselves. It's a long hard road out of hell and an addict knows that and thinks it is easier to just stay in hell. Tough love is the best . Don't be an enabler at all. You have to cut them out completely and tell them you are there when they make a choice but you can't be there to watch them destroy themselves any more. I know it will be hard for you to do but you must. It will be as hard for you to go through it as it will be for her and you might not get your daughter back. Sorry just the truth. And institutionalizing her against her will only makes and addict more determined to use drugs usualy(not always i remind you)as it breeds strong resentment and anger and an addict is not of right mind so anger comes easy for them. Wish you the best and your daughter too but one thing you have to tell yourself is that "it's not your fault". | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 4:55:33 PM | | well, i have my oldest son here.......hes very angry with his sister right now.....puts me in the peacekeeping role again..........and i do have freinds......most of them were at work today when things came to a head.....and i do have family in the area.........most of them arent real close to my daughter because of her choices and treatment of me.........but this is a way i can reach out and when overloaded, turn it off............cant always do that with real people..........and real people arent always around like this is..................i do appreciate the concern though...........things just overwhelmed me tonight...........thanks everybody for the love and support.........been keeping things inside too long, i guess | |
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w8in4u
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Joined: 12/26/2004
Msg: 21 | |
| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 5:20:18 PM | Lady,
Being an addict I can tell you that until I wanted help it didn't sink in. However, it didn't hurt either.
Hitting "rock bottom" is usually what gets an addict to decide they don't want to continue there current lifestyle. Everyone "bottom" is different however.
This is going to sound harsh and it will be the most difficult thing you ever do but you have to stop being there for her. As long as you are there to catch her each time she falls you are making it appear to her that she can handle it. And to some extent, that you accept it.
Because of her medical condition you may be able to get her locked up in a treatment center for longer than the usual 72 hour observation period involved with a Marchman Act. She would qualify for admission at both a drug rehabilitation center or a psychiatric hospital. If you take her to a detox facility when she is coming down, using only cocaine will not gain her admission because there is no "physical" withdrawal from cocaine. (unlike alcohol or benzo withdrawal that can cause seizures and even death)
A Baker Act is something that only a doctor or police officer can do. A Marchman Act is done by 3 members, either family or friends and has to be presented to a judge in order to obtain the order.
As for help for yourself, try going to Al Anon, it's for people who are affected by other's addictions. This one is for alcohol, but I don't know that name of any other group.
If you have any questions that I may be able to answer, just e-mail me. | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 5:36:56 PM | | i hear you - there are no easy answers or solutions - i think 'squeak' has the best advice - "prepare for the worst and hope for the best" there really is no other way to look at a situation like this - i can empathize with you - my teenage daughter became involved with drugs and a drug culture - it was the biggest heartache i've experienced in my life - i felt like my daughter 'died' - my heart grieved a death - to remember my innocent, precious, smart daughter as she was and how she altered her life by some stupid choices - i was ready to 'take down' the dealers! - that was tough - i prepared myself for the worst, accepting that she could make a choice were there was no turning back - however, i prayed and hoped for the best and still do - for now she's ok - i think you're doing the right thing - by keeping in touch and keeping an eye on her - letting go somewhat is good too - you're not responsible for her choices - you've gotta get a healthy focus for yourself - your life too is passing by - i find going to the gym, walking my dogs, hot bubble bath, journal writting, going out to a show or shopping with my daughter, watching a movie or making her favorite dish, pray, pray, pray .................take care.........sandy | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 5:45:17 PM | Hey; you sound like such a fabulous Mother.
I don't know if I can help in any way, but as an Epileptic myself, I thought I might share this with you based on some experience.
Through many things I've viewed and read on Epilepsy, being anti-social and depressed seem to be common things, so many people tend to depend on others however it looks as though she is depending on the cocaine here. I noticed that mrguidance had mentioned a Phsychiatrist and I think that's great idea as well.
We all need to express our feelings and emotions and sometimes friends and Family are not the people you might want to share them with, so maybe she just needs someone to talk to and get some professional advice and help. I don't know what more to say, but I can Definately say that you sound like such a strong Woman. | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 5:57:56 PM | Hello, My name is Tim. I hope things are working out a little better for you now. I'm 20 years old and am no stranger to drugs. If you still have this problem you can talk to me. I used to hate my mother when I was a druggie, not just the drugs(she could be a real **** at times) but the point is that she never gave up or stopped loving me. SHE WANTED TO AT TIMES!!!!believe me! We went through almost 10 years of hell (living together, and not) but at this point I can't see us ever fighting like that ever again. And we still got alot of time to enjoy as a familly.
Just don't forget that it's easier to slam the door in someones face than it is to fall backwards and trust that they will catch you.
Don't give up!! My mom didn't. And now she's my true real life hero. And that's a really cool feeling!
so long
good luck | |
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| my daughter is 22, gorgeous, epileptic.......and addicted to cocaine..............
Posted: 2/25/2005 6:06:50 PM | She really needs to be in a program honey... Trust me on this one. If you have to have her comitted , DO IT! You are hearing from someone who used for many years! I can not tell you how important this is! I myself did it on my own . (getting clean) but, I do know many people that had to get help with this problem! It is not pretty & very rough! She will say she hates you at first & thank you when she is better! Get her in ASAP!
She will not live much long with out your help! There is a time to help & thenthere is a time to let go... You need to try to help first ...... | |
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