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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 3:29:03 AM | I'll admit I'm one ugly guy,
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/Fuzby/P1010007.jpg
That's a picture of me at this friday's club, Dejavu in Fresno.
Here is a picture of the girl I've been dating for two weeks now:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/Fuzby/P1010005.jpg
and of her with the guy he prefers over me at the same bar:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/Fuzby/P1010003.jpg
Now that's just sad imo.
Here's a pic of the bouncer girl:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/Fuzby/P1010001.jpg
and a couple there:
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v298/Fuzby/P1010002.jpg
Yes, it's a gay club, with homosexuals and bisexuals. She actually took a number from one of the bisexuals, that old man... Which I was not very happy with in the first place because she left me dancing for about 2 of the 4 hours there bymyself. She was busy talking to this guy, or dancing with him trying to ignore me.. Which is sad...
I have been dating her for two weeks now, and have never had sex with her because I didn't want her to think I was using her for sex. It's too bad women are too stupid to realize that I love them for more than sex... I would have married her if she didn't hit on every warm body male that existed. On the way home, she didn't trust me and yelled at me to do a "U-turn", so I did for her wishes, which was obviously going away from her home... Anyway, when she realized her opinion was wrong, "women dont know****about maps or directions", I gladly turned around back tracked and went the right way to her apartment place.
When we got to her apartment place, there was no parking near her apartment, so we had a long walk to her place. Along the way to her apartment some random guy yelled asking if we had a cigarett, he was on a 2nd floor balcony apartment. This **** girl I've been dating for two weeks, told him we had no cigs, but insisted on him joining our party. The "morally" sound guy said no to the party invitation. I was especially glad cause my girl that I never had sex with for two weeks, that i've spent over $200 on flowers, drinks, dinners, ect on didn't even recognize me as a date. She had no respect for me at all.
Needless to say, I kissed her goodnight, still a bit pissed about EVERYTHING. $200 down the drain, for a ****ed up girl that still wanted to **** random guys from balconies... I never ****ed her, instead left her wondering, went home today, and now i'm typing this.
Did I do the right thing? Should I leave her forever? Do you think she will learn that I mean more to her and should I keep trying?
Should I become like 99% of all the guys and become an ***hole, because at least after sex women start to respect you. Should I be an ***hole till after sex? | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 4:17:56 AM | I read this posting and just felt sad for the guy. But there's a lesson here, too.
It seems to me that some women have an image of a "man" in their minds that often doesn't jibe with reality. Often that image is based on past experience, fantasy, and maybe a bit of daddy tossed in for seasoning.
This inability of the average guy to meet expectations he can't know is why blind dates are sometimes so disappointing to both the guy and the girl. She waits to see a glimmer of her ideal and he hopes that she will. But how can a man know who she expects when the date is somewhat contrived by preconceived ideas and those same expectations.
My advice? Be who you are and don't worry about being her ideal date. If she is interested in who you are then it will be obvious. One thing, though. Never be afraid to be MASCULINE.
While on a date, asking a woman for a kiss may seem like the polite, PC thing to do. But waiting for the right moment and firmly pushing her against the wall and putting your lips to hers (without discussion!) is much closer to what she expects for a MAN.
Is this being an a**? Maybe, if you're not getting the signals. But if she's receptive, it is being MALE, and after all, isn't that what she is looking for?
Drop the chick, Dude. She ain't got your best interests at heart. And one more thing. A gay club is not the best atmosphere for romance between a man and a woman.
But that's just my opinion: I could be wrong. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 4:35:37 AM |
But that's just my opinion: I could be wrong.
no, it's a mis-understanding, i bet.
You shouldn't give up on the girl, that's exactly what she's used to getting. Be different, be the knight in shining armor that stays with her till the end.
Eventually her subconscious will recognize you as a regular instead of the guys dumping her. I believe she is expecting you to use her and dump her like all her previous men, just hang in there, and she will start to understand you mean busness. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 4:58:40 AM | Dude, consider yourself lucky, she isn't "all that and a bag of cookies" and your better off not sleeping with a woman who does the crap you said she did, you'ld have probably ended up with the incureable crud if you did. So $200 is a low cost lesson.
And speaking of $200 , what the hell were you doing throwing that kind of loot towards a woman like that anyway?
Here's what you need to do: Save some cash over the next 2 weeks, say about $200, then on saturday morning, get up early, watch some porn, spank your monkey a few times, take a nap, get up around 6 pm watch some porn spank your monkey a few more times, so you're sexually content, take a hot shower, put on some nice cloths, and go to a better bar, have a few drinks and relax, take your time, and introduce yourself to some nicer women, and if you get lucky, you'll have some cash on ya to buy them a drink, or maybe go to another bar if you don't get lucky, but either way, stay away from the "wallet sucking barflies" | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 5:02:55 AM | | Dude, cut you losses and run like the wind. Then, remember the name of site you are on, and go fishing. There is somebody for everybody. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 5:22:16 AM | Okay, Magincia. I'll admit there's the chance I could be wrong.
But won't you agree that this chick is using out sadsack hero? Men get very tired of spending hard earned cash on someone who turns out to be using them for a free party. Now I'm not advocating quid pro quo. But when a guy feels used and wrung out after a nightmare date like fuzbyone had, he just normally gets a bit apprehensive the next time he meets somebody he thinks (hopes; dreams) might be the "one".
But thanks for giving me the benifit of the doubt. I'm just driving down the road trying to not miss any signs. I don't want to get too lost. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 6:55:26 AM | I think fuzbyone you should move on and forget about that piece of sh*t that you call a girlfriend. Find someone that you could share a common ground with similar interesets. you seem like a nice guys: its true that nice guys finish last, but you have got to to set some standards for your self . A man that can't take sh#t from women or anybody is the kind if man that sets standards for themselves. Believe me when i tell you this I have 4 brothers and they tell me all their girl problems,and one piece uf advice i do give them ;its alright to give them flowers and candy but if she still turns a blind eye at you don't even waste your time.!!!!Fuz beauty is only skin deep and there will be some one that will love you 4 more than just your looks.i know how superificial women can be , but because of a bad experince don't ruin it 4 the good women that are still out there & wold give their right arm to be with a nice guy like you .Take care of yourself maybe we could talk again..
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 9:45:57 AM |
Okay, Magincia. I'll admit there's the chance I could be wrong.
Thanks, and no I don't think she is leading him on. She would have gone to a normal club by herself if she wasn't interested. I think she made a few childish mistakes, and that's all they are. Men can screw up on dates too, and it happens alot, women still find a way to forgive them. This is almost the same thing. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 10:44:41 AM | | Buddy! Walking away was the smartest thing you've ever done. This girl is a flake! Not only is she a flake but she is also a thoughtless flake! Dude, you're not ugly, so do what nu2town said. Spank your monkey a few times and go to a nice bar. I'm sure the gay bar is a nice place but not for you. Do not call this girl! | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 10:45:09 AM | Buddy! Walking away was the smartest thing you've ever done. This girl is a flake! Not only is she a flake but she is also a thoughtless flake! Dude, you're not ugly, so do what nu2town said. Spank your monkey a few times and go to a nice bar. I'm sure the gay bar is a nice place but not for you. Do not call this girl! I'm going to be having nghtmares about your date now for the rest of my life.  | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/26/2005 6:19:21 PM | "It seems to me that some women have an image of a "man" in their minds that often doesn't jibe with reality. Often that image is based on past experience, fantasy, and maybe a bit of daddy tossed in for seasoning."
yes, it is sad... and it's sad that the above quote was thrown in there. women are not the only ones with a misguided image of reality. having a brother, i heard some pretty unbelievable conversations over the breakfast table when he was boarding at my place for six months.
consider this: you, as a guy, have a choice to make from bachelorette #1, #2, #3 you get to see them and chat with them and they are all interested in going on a date with you... you simply have to decide which one. they're all the same height, they all have the same hair colour, and they're all of the same intelligence level.
#1 - she's the appearance of a playboy bunny
#2 - is the appearance of your average female talk show host [exclude Leeza]
#3 - someone who could be a candidate for a 'what not to wear' make-over [which includes a make-up and hair make-over along with the clothing]
geeee, i wonder which bachelorette is going to win the date with you..... i've already put them in order for you, save ya the trouble ;)
and now i'll no doubt get a lecture on how every guy is different and has different tastes and blah blah blah... okie dokie then, go back and read the quote  | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/27/2005 8:02:57 PM | fuzbyone
askmen.com has good advice for guys trying to get dates
if you're THAT bitter about the money then take then next girls you meet on cheaper dates
if you THINK that spending money on a girl obligates her to love you then you are an idiot
if you think that 2 weeks is long enough to know that you want to marry someone then you are too intense....no wonder she left you alone so much | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/27/2005 8:59:09 PM |
fuzbyone
askmen.com has good advice for guys trying to get dates
if you're THAT bitter about the money then take then next girls you meet on cheaper dates
if you THINK that spending money on a girl obligates her to love you then you are an idiot
if you think that 2 weeks is long enough to know that you want to marry someone then you are too intense....no wonder she left you alone so much
--askmen.com is made primarily for women. And I did look at it, while it gives some good advice. The primary advice is to become a player. You've gotta play the seduction game, ect...
--I'm not bitter about the money, I'm bitter about women that use men for freebees.
--Two weeks is not long enough for marriage. That I agree with. I meant to give you the impression that I'm looking for life long partners and not one night stands. Myself, I prefer dating as long as I can before marriage. Marriage is only a contract to me.
--about why she left me alone so much... It's because she has no interest in me except to use me for free drinks and a free party. When a man takes a women out on a date, it is ethically and morally right for the women to devote her attention to the guy paying for everything.
Example: A guy takes you out to a Restaurant. He's not paying for dinner so you could talk on your cell phone thru the entire dinner. Tom Lycus's-sp- advice on women that answer phone calls and talk during a dinner date, is to leave the restaurant imediately. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/27/2005 9:22:21 PM | | Well for the first thing i have to say is it sounds like your keeping scores or something. You shouldn't be running a taly on a women your taking out for a date. Kind of sounds like you think if you spend that kind of money your entitled to something and that's not the way to be thinking. And like someone else stated two weeks is by no means anywhere close to even thinking your in love with someone let alone saying you'd have married her i mean c'mon. The other thing is consider where you me her(i believe you said it was a gay/bisexual bar). What did you expect from a person you might meet in a place like that. She obviously likes variety and isn't looking for anything exclusive at this time in her life so it is up to you to show her you might be someone worth starting a relationship with. I think you should let go of all your expectations and just go have fun with her if you choose to date her again. And if you date her again i'd let things be known that if you take her out you consider it to be a exclusive date with you from the start and ending with you when the evening is over or who knows she might ditch you at the bar for someone else who catches her eye and unless you let your intentions of the date be known you can't be upset if that happens. I'd just go forward with strong reservations and don't let yourself get to involved at this time and just remember to have fun yourself if you go out with her again. Never know if you show people you can enjoy yourself in any situation someone else might see that in you and want to get to know you better becouse of it too. At this point though she did nothing wrong and i think your wrong to count the dollars spent. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/27/2005 10:07:33 PM | | Just cuz you aren't a Gucci model, that doesn't make you ugly. Honestly, I think you can do a LOT better than her. I've tried ignoring glaring faults before, it never works. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/28/2005 12:34:28 AM | | Well I hope you've learned something from dating her--- how to spot users and gold diggers better. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 2/28/2005 6:23:29 AM | afer looking at the pictures....
a) why are you taking pictures of drunks in a bar?
b) "I have been dating her for two weeks now, and have never had sex with her because I didn't want her to think I was using her for sex."
buddy, if you've been dating her for 2 weeks and haven't had sex with her, SHE thinks YOU are gay.
c)"It's too bad women are too stupid to realize that I love them for more than sex..."
do you really think women are stupid?
d) "I would have married her if she didn't hit on every warm body male that existed. "
after 2 weeks... hmmm, bright bunny... | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/11/2005 12:32:56 PM | | Well I am sorry to tell you this Darrell but you come on to women way to strong and you scare them away. Sorry but if you don't quit being so intense about everything you will scare me away too. So to answer your question about Is it me, or is it the women? Well honey it is you!! Slow down and catch your breathe for crying out loud. Your a great guy and you have nothing to worry about. You will find your special someone someday and it will be great but you won't be able to find her if you are scaring every woman you date by being so pushy and wanting everything right now. So just slow down, calm down, and relax. Go with the flow!! Just my two cents! | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/11/2005 2:36:40 PM | I don't know his personality as well as you seem to, but too much intensity early on can be a very unhealthy thing. You gotta give a woman something to look forward to. The women who do respond to it generally will not be the stable.
Again, I think your perception of your looks is mostly in your head. I know that all throughout my younger years people told me some pretty terrible things about how I looked. I walked around emotionally scarred from it for quite a while. Now I consider myself just an average guy, not ruggedly handsome, but not horribly hideous either.
Really, the limits are in your head. A great sense of humor and a good heart can overcome average looks. I've seen some hotties with guys you wouldn't expect them to be with. Obviously they see something special in them. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/11/2005 5:11:39 PM | | I agree with TERA, and you can't buy women off, just because you dropped 2bills on her, does not mean she OWES you any sexual favors, get a hooker if that what you want | |
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Cin4U
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Joined: 2/26/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/11/2005 10:00:30 PM | | To quote J-Lo...."My love don't cost a thing.." but apprently her's does. Move on, dont thow your emotions or your money into someone that you dont know. I'm not saying be cheep..but theres nothing wrong with being conservative with both until you really really get to know someone and to see if they deserve anything you have to offer, especially your heart. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/12/2005 1:55:26 PM | | IMHO - if you can't respect your date enough to behave as if you are on a date with them and want to be with them, then you should stop the date cold right then and there. This goes for male or female. If you can't keep your eyes off the opposite sex and focus on your date for the length of a date, you have a problem. If your date behaves this way, and you date them AGAIN - you both have a problem. Its a matter of self respect and respect for others. This should be a no-brainer but I suppose if someone is desperate enough they will make any excuse to date for the sake of having a date. If you do that, though, don't whine about the money you spent doing it. You were paying to entertain the both of you, after all. I'm not even going to ask if she acted this way during the whole two weeks or just this time - either way she has no respect for you and you have no respect for yourself to consider dating her again. | |
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| Is it me, or is it the women?
Posted: 3/13/2005 1:49:24 AM |
--askmen.com is made primarily for women. And I did look at it, while it gives some good advice. The primary advice is to become a player. You've gotta play the seduction game, ect...
--I'm not bitter about the money, I'm bitter about women that use men for freebees.
--Two weeks is not long enough for marriage. That I agree with. I meant to give you the impression that I'm looking for life long partners and not one night stands. Myself, I prefer dating as long as I can before marriage. Marriage is only a contract to me.
--about why she left me alone so much... It's because she has no interest in me except to use me for free drinks and a free party. When a man takes a women out on a date, it is ethically and morally right for the women to devote her attention to the guy paying for everything.
Example: A guy takes you out to a Restaurant. He's not paying for dinner so you could talk on your cell phone thru the entire dinner. Tom Lycus's-sp- advice on women that answer phone calls and talk during a dinner date, is to leave the restaurant imediately.
I feel like you guys are reading my original post, during my angry hissy fit, but not reading the second post with the corrections. So I'm making this just incase you missed it.
Now stop bumping this thread, it's very embarrassing for me.
--askmen.com is made primarily for women. And I did look at it, while it gives some good advice. The primary advice is to become a player. You've gotta play the seduction game, ect...
--I'm not bitter about the money, I'm bitter about women that use men for freebees.
--Two weeks is not long enough for marriage. That I agree with. I meant to give you the impression that I'm looking for life long partners and not one night stands. Myself, I prefer dating as long as I can before marriage. Marriage is only a contract to me.
--about why she left me alone so much... It's because she has no interest in me except to use me for free drinks and a free party. When a man takes a women out on a date, it is ethically and morally right for the women to devote her attention to the guy paying for everything.
Example: A guy takes you out to a Restaurant. He's not paying for dinner so you could talk on your cell phone thru the entire dinner. Tom Lycus's-sp- advice on women that answer phone calls and talk during a dinner date, is to leave the restaurant imediately. | |
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