| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 5:55:41 AM | Okay, I met this guy who works in my office building and I really like him. He is very sweet and very cute too. We have alot in common, and this has the potential to become something serious in the future.
Except that he's a Jehovah's Witness and I am Agnostic. I have talked to him before about my apprehensions and he doesn't seem to think its a problem but I don't think he is looking too far ahead, he's only thinking about how he feel about me now and not how this will affect our potential relationship.
My dilema is that I don't want to get too involved and find out one day that it's not going to work when I've already fallen for the guy.
Help! I don't know what to do. | |
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TishaG
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Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:04:43 AM | | Pandora...I can't tell you what to do nor do I profess to know alot about his faith. I do know that I have a good friend at work who is a Jehovah and I know that they are VERY serious about their convictions. NO birthday celebrations. No Christmas. No holidays period. They go to church on Sunday for more than a few hours. They also have bible study during the week and they are adamant about each member putting in time to go door to door and try and bring in new people to their church. I guess it's what YOU are comfortable with. I know for me I couldn't deal with it. I have an issue with people who come to your home to try and persuade you to join their church. Good luck. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:35:22 AM | OP you said it right . down the road what will he then be thinking.
anyone who says its not as bad as all that know of just a very small hand full that this has worked for.
i myself would not get involved with anyone who was not a christian. and i know that myself thought at one time i could over look her not being one. and it worked until the relationship got very serious and i realized i'd be doing the church thing alone and she really did'nt fall into my beliefs. it became a problem and we had to go our own way. and both our hearts were broken. not a good idea at all.
good luck in whatever you decide to do with this guy. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 6:55:58 AM | | I have to agree with the last post on this one. Quite a few years ago a good buddy of mine started dating one of the girls we both worked with. He was a very business minded individual and into computers, programming and we are talking the early 80's here. Suddenly I and others noticed signifigant changes in his personality. My experience with this girl after seeing a movie with a couple of friends and her as part of the group led me to believe that the religion of Jehovah feels a lot more cultish than religious. The movie we had seen then was Pink Floyd's "the wall" and the dicussion after while scarfing down steins of beer back at the restaurant was enough to convince me of this. Sure they seem normal in some respects but after listening to her slant on this movie discussion led myself and the group to seriously question his relationship to her. When confronted my buddy was defensive and responded like a person not willing to cop to a drug addiction. Needless to say we literally had in intervention and we holed up in his apartment for an entire weekend. He was tough to crack but eventually he could see how strange some of that religion's views were and how she was literally using sex to bring him into the "flock". I am not saying that you may not want to be a jehova but unless you are prepared to give up a lot of things and that includes blood transfusions, christmas, birthdays etc. some more thought may be in order before you get too serious. Do some research and ask a few direct questions about say if you needed blood after being in an accident or say your child needed blood and you may or may not find the answers you seek. Just my personal opinion and experience. Oh and by the way my buddy still thanks me once in awhile about saving his "soul" lol | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:08:45 AM | I know what you are saying. I have done my research and frankly most of their beliefs scare me. This is my concern because I do NOT want to be a Jehovah's Witness. He know's that I don't believe in the same things as he does but I don't think he realizes how this could affect our potential relationship.
Right now he is just a fellowship member because he had disobeyed some of the rules and was put on a kind of probation but he says he wants to go back to being a witness again. The fact that he didn't obied by the rules tells me that maybe this religion isn't for him.But I guess I am just hoping he won't go back. But I don't want to pressure him and then he resents me for it later. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:20:07 AM | | Oh Lordy.......don't you be opening Pandors's box to that guy! My dad hated that religiion and then he married one later in life. He's been miserable ever since. They like to take over your property and money too sweetie. It's freaky scary stuff. I know some who are....nice people.....but I ain't gonna marry one now or ever. Their main objective is to lure people in the flock and own them. I sound predjudiced but I've seen a lot of it here. I have one sister who became one too. They are just a weird bunch. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:24:50 AM | It sounds like he has been disfellowshipped which is pretty serious to a JW. It means that the other members won't talk to him...even his family if they are JW's and when he comes to the meetings he cannot socialize before or after and has to sit at the back and not take part. After he has done this for a while, then a committe will determine if they will allow him back.
For him to be disfellowshipped means that they have already had a tribunal and he either didn't attend or showed no remorse for whatever his sin was which can be anything from smoking to sex before marriage. If he starts seeing you, that will certainly not help his chances of getting back because they will call it being "unevenly yoked with a disbeliever".
You need to talk about all this with him because perhaps he is hoping that in time you will agree to join him in this religion. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:32:24 AM | I was with someone whos parents were witnesses and as far as I understand he won't be able to marry you unless you become a witness there is no sitting on the fence with that religion and if you do marry one than don't ever deny him in bed cause that is a church matter and thats when they bring i the church elders to tune YOU in privite issues privite no more!!!! cause you have to submit to your man....NOT | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:42:19 AM | | this will eventually be a huge deal. JW's are extremely passionate about their faith, AND it is my understanding that they must be with someone within their faith or they will be shunned. in all honestly, I am agnostic as well, and I wouldn't start something with anyone who is extremely religious. it's just too differening of opinions and can/will cause huge riffs. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:48:33 AM | devout religious and non religious
are two very different mindsets and
very extreme differences in values.
I dont see how it can work for long...
but of course not all JW are devout... and not all non religious are'without relationship
with God... and not all agnostic are godless, evil souls.
The differences and issues will lie in the details of the people involved and how they view life.
OP... how can you have already fallen for the guy
when you plainly see he is not the one for you?
I mean come on... do you not love yourself and value yourself enough
to let someone go.. when you see they are not the right one for you...
?????
Can you not only let him go because you know you deserve to
find the right one for you... and allow him to find someone who is right for him too?
What kind of love is it that you fall into a relationship with someone who
you know at the start is not right for you?
You can't build a relationship on infatuation/ lust... at least not a good or lasting one.
You also cannot change someone... or make a relationship with someone based on hopes and dreams that they will be someone...
who they clearly are not.
Let him go...
wish him well...
keep looking until you find the right one for you. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 7:57:11 AM | ^^^ rainbow, I don't think you should condemn her so fast. She never said she had fallen for him she said it was a potential relationship.
her words were :My dilema is that I don't want to get too involved and find out one day that it's not going to work when I've already fallen for the guy.
I grew up in this faith and I have never ever heard of them taking people's property & money etc. Nor the whole denying your husband his conjugal rights. They do certainly get into people's private lives tho. Still thats neither here nor there. You have to determine how serious he is about getting back into the faith.
check out this website :http://www.xjw.com | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:01:08 AM | I am not a "witness" but a believer in Jesus Christ and THE heavenly Father God , creator of all. I only said that because what I am about to say might come off as if I am defending "their" faith or beliefs , which is not my ententions at all.
Being unevenly yoked is a serious matter and that goes for all, believers and non-believers alike. The bible, speaks on not doing it because it will not work. That is it. A protective warning.
When yourself and another personality begin to get to know each other, the relationship (be it romantic or not) WILL suceed or fail based on the COMMON beliefs verses the NOT in common traits of the 2 folks. Some issuses in this life are WAY to deep to be fighting against the ones closest to you while going through them. When lifes slaps come at you , you are better off with "supporters" near.
One last comment --- "bad company courrupts good behavior" --- we 'rub off on' people we are near while they 'rub off on' us -- just another plain fact of life -- and a good rule to think on while choosing weather or not to yoke yourself to a particular individual.
If one doesn't know God and REALLY wants to keep it that way they should NEVER date a believer , that is for sure. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:03:38 AM | Squirrly........Well my niece never even had food or under-wear....she nearly starved from her ex giving all the money to the church.......and yes they do take property ( in the way they get people to sign things over)and get people to leave things to the church. It's scary stuff. I've seen the elders visit my dad's house, and that is what they wanted, over and over. They don't take the property, they talk you out of it.
edit on above poster.........Yes keep to those with your belief system.....it is more likely to work out. But that's common sense. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/2/2006 8:06:49 AM | Run, Forrest.....Run!!!!! ha ha!
Whoa! You allready know this ain't gonna work. And, from what I've read here, this guy is basically flakey and indecisive..... and seems to be some kind of a wishy washy follower. You would outgrow him, and tire of him very quickly aftter the initial attraction you are feeling wears off. The Witnesses seem to be pleasant enough folk. They come around a few times a year even way out at my rural location..... but there is something very 'cultish' about them, I aggree. I'm personally not into any faith which so aggressively "promotes" itself.
I am digressing. This is a Big deal. A deal breaker in relationships. Use your good sense and "Pick" someone whome you like.....'just as they are'. None of us should ever go into a relationship thinking..... well, we can shape them up later!!! Wrong, doesn't work. Won't work...Never has worked! ha! | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 11:46:33 AM | I'd simply say don't do it. Two people of incompatible religions are destined not to be happy together. Been there, tried that--which is part of why I have such trouble finding a girlfriend | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:00:40 PM | Is he a practising jehovah? ive met jehovahs that like myself being catholic believed what they believed yet were not practising thier religion ultimatly does it come down to marriage ? if your having fun together right now enjoy each others company then deal with the now ... just my suggestion.... | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:09:04 PM | was put on a kind of probation
hmmmmmmmmmm i did'nt know God places anyone on probation. oooh he does'nt. only men do that and say thats what God would have done...lol
off subject but tell him he can go witness without anyones ok. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:15:42 PM | damn Rainbow...OP... how can you have already fallen for the guy
when you plainly see he is not the one for you?
I mean come on... do you not love yourself and value yourself enough
to let someone go.. when you see they are not the right one for you...
?????
you are not speaking for her. there are no set rules that i am aware of that says when and how a person falls in love with anyone. you are unfair in your judgement of her .
now kiss and say your sorry | |
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sl004
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Joined: 6/25/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:15:59 PM | | Hi, You have to make that choose yourself, but in the long run it will not work out. There will be fighting about religion trying to convert you over. Will end up in divorce also in the long run! That is what you are looking at! If you think you can handle that maybe you have a change to be happy! Because you KNOW THE FUTURE! | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:21:14 PM | I you people want to find out what they belief, next time Witnesses' are at your
door ... get a booklet from them on what they belief. Quit the gossip and get informed.
Respectfully submitted. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:27:31 PM | My mum has been a JW since I was 7 years old, she still is, my dad never was and never had a thing to do with them. My parents are still married I am now 43, my mum is still a JW my dad still has nothing to do with them. Both myself and my sister fraternised in our younger days but decided it was not for us. Most are good people, but I just cannot believe in what they say.
I HAVE NEVER heard of any of them at any time trying to get people to sign property to them, I think I smell cow droppings. But this may be different in a different country.
All through my life I have heard of all the rumours and bull regarding JWs, I just keep my mouth shut. But most of what you hear is just gossip. | |
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| Non-Religious Person dating a Jehovah's Witness
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:25:46 PM | | FIRST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO THE JW IF HE DOES ANYTHING WITH YOU OR EVEN MARRIES YOU HE MORE THAN LIKELY WILL BE "DISFELLOWSHIPPED". ASK HIM ABOUT THAT! JW'S MARRY ONLY JW'S, THEY DON'T DATE IN THE WAY DATING IS CARRIED ON. DATING TO THEM IS FOR THE SELECTION OF A MARRIAGE MATE, AND MOST OF THE TIME A DATE WILL HAVE SOMEONE ELSE ALONG TO PREVENT ANYTHING FROM GOING ON.............. | |
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