| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 12:35:18 AM | | When i put my profile on this site i said i was looking for an honest Woman. So naturally im going to be honest with whoever responds to me and answer their questions as honest as i can.So whenever it gets around to the issue of drinking ill tell them i go to three alcoholic anonomus meetings a week and they think im a raging alcoholic and run Sure i had a problem drinking when my father commited suicide 5 years ago but im over that now. By going to AA im just trying to better myself and whats wrong with that ? If you cant be honest with yourself you cant be honest with someone else HELP Charlie | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 2:33:57 AM | | Tough going bro, people these days are too judgemental. Hold you r head up high and continue to better yourself and let karma do the rest. God speed... | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 2:38:53 AM | AA has almost nothing to do with the reason why women don't respond. You are not filthy rich, and/or moviestar-teenie-bopper-badboy handsome to them. If you want to see better results, try claiming you have some "insert job you know well" making filthy rich money. Claim you live in your own house, and some expensive type of car. Maybe have a picture of that car, to send to the girl if she asks. Post a picture of some random Chip'n dale handsome guy, to pose as yourself. Then don't forget to include the AA stuff in your profile. Only be honest about the AA stuff, that you are trying your best to recover.
They will dig you until they find out you are not 1) rich, or 2) the handsome fake picture.
Movie stars/rockstars are raging alcholics, druggies, and they have no problems getting women.
Anyway, you should not need to say anything about your AA stuff unless they specifically ask about it, which is increadibly rare. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 2:55:55 AM | or you can chalk it up to women being idiots and materialistic. Someone who is in AA is more appealign to me than someone who drinks at all. i don't drink and I'm more than happy to support someone if they are in AA.
Decent wommen are out there, and we're not money hungry idiots who are superficial and care what you drive, what you live in, or how much money you make.
Kudos for being upfront about it. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 4:37:05 AM | Charlie,
I'm really sorry to hear about your Dad, losing anyone special in your life is never easy whatever the circumstance. My old man's got a blood born cancer, so I know how helpless a son can feel. I understand you need for love and support, but as an ex-drugs councillor I feel duty bound to remind you that you can't have a relationship with drink, cocaine, heroine, cannabis, ecstasy, speed, whatever, and have healthy relationships with human beings. Dont think I'm brow beating, cause I'm only just begining to get my cannabis habit under control (which despite what everyone tells you IS harmful to both your mental and physical health!)
If you are truely in control of your problem, why do you go to AA meetings three times a week, it seems like alot, in England it'd be very unusual to have court orders that'll make you go that often, and they're for serious offenses like stealing or viloent behaviour. I'd recommened building relationships with women with no intention of dating them, you have to concentrate on loving yourself at this point in time!
Take care matey, be strong, and I hope lady fortune smiles on you soon!
Danny | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 5:03:02 AM | | Ya Know,Charlie,I read a constant line of ****ing about how the guys are always lieing and the profiles are bogus,yet when you are honest you dont get points for it.This just goes to prove my point that men and women are a bunch of blowhards that dont know what they want.Keep the faith brother as there are good men and women out there and you will find one that will thank you for the truth. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 5:10:05 AM | If going to meetings works for you I say keep it up and good for you for trying to better yourself. However you have to understand that some people will see this has 'bagage'. Don't define yourself by it and become 'the AA guy'. When the subject of drinking comes up simply tell them you don't drink. Don't give them more information then they are asking for, because it's really none of her business anyway. Later, when she finds out you go to meetings, she will be impressed with how commited, self-contained and together you are and that you have dealt with a problem in a responsible, drama free way. That's something that makes everybody happy. If she's turned off after that, she's not the right one anyway.
Women are attracted to men who are together. Girls are attracted to money and cars. Neither are attracted to drama. Women in the program don't date, they take hostages. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 6:23:32 AM | | I just broke up with a 2 year dry drunk. Now he is drinking again trying to get over me. If he would have went to AA or any other help we would have been together. He lived in denial. At least you are getting help and trying to battle that cruel demon of addiction. Good luck to you and screw them girls who can't see you are on a great road to being able to offer a person the real you uncovered by alcohol or drugs. In my experience the person who recovers is usually one of the most sincere honest giving person. You learn to love yourself and in return give great love back. Take care and good luck | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 6:23:33 AM | | Thanks for the mostly positive responses guys i appreciate it. I didnt put AA in my profile for the same reason i didnt say i have a fat bankroll and live on the water.I want a nonmaterialistic woman to like me for who i am not for what ive got. Look at magnicia add a picture of my porche and checkbook ? Get real,like Tara,at least she got the point and the points! If i forget to go to meetings ill forget to stay sober is why i go more than once a week. Im doimg this for me not to get a date,i could find that in any bar but thats not what i want a drunk barfly b.... so im here. Just like everybody else. Thanks Charlie | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 7:29:07 AM | | No sh.. program girls do take hostages Thats why im so fast on my feet and thanks fus247 that was sweet and real sorry about your ex he will get over you in no time drunk NOT ! LOL and by the way i do love myself if i dont who will ??? And counsellor mate things must be different across the pond but thanks anyway | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 9:27:41 AM | keep up the good work. The right lady will come along that will be able to handle the NEW you. Be positive and the positive will come to you. These days it seems it is all about partying and if you dont then your no fun, but I can have fun without drinking, and I never understood why my STB ex always thought he was still 18 and drinking and smoking POT. Try to explain that to your kids. But he moved out got a DUI and they made him go to AA, is he sober I doubt it..Alcohism is a disease, his dad has it, his grandfather had it,I hope my kids dont get the gene. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 12:56:04 PM | | Charley: Excellent work on going to AA..Keep up the good work..and as someone else said in here, people on the program have often learned to love themselves giving in turn a greater love to someone they choose to share their life with. Someone good will come along for you, just keep the faith. Nicole | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 4:26:27 PM | I think you are making a mistake by talking about the AA issue so early. I know a lot about AA. I don't drink or smoke, which I clearly tell people up front. No chick that I tell "I don't drink alcohol" has EVER disrespected me because she sees that it's a personal decision I've made and stick with. I never judge people for drinking, nor do I avoid places with alcohol. I make all this very clear when it comes up, assuming it does. Just because you are in AA doesn't mean you can't ever be near alcohol again. Just re-read the BB if you don't believe me, or find someone in AA that has 20 or 30 years of experience and isn't a crazy egomaniac.
Honesty is important as it pertains to the steps, but honesty doesn't mean that you tell everybody about every mistake you've made in life up front, IF EVER. Seriously, if that were the case then you would be telling everybody about that one night stand that you regret.. the cocaine you did in the 80's.. the list could go on forever. Would you tell a potential exployer about every mistake you made at your previous jobs? NO! Why? It's simply not relevant to you getting the job and would certainly be counterproductive to call attention to.
Obviously if you develop a relationship with someone and AA is a part of your life, then they will need to find out about it eventually. Nothing in AA tells you to tell everybody about being in AA. Anybody who tells you differently is telling you their opinion. Just remember that first impressions count for a lot... If a woman really likes you and sees the life you lead now, she won't care that you go to several meetings a week. Give her the chance to like you before you sabotage yourself.
Btw, I'm not in AA... I know about AA.. I think AA is a great thing.. I commend you for having the courage to do what was certainly a very difficult thing -- admit you need help. I wish you the best of luck and the blessings of your higher power. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 5:58:33 PM | To Knightrd yea your probably right i sabatoged myself but she kept drilling me why i wouldnt have a drink with her so i let her have it and so what. She wasnt worth my sobriety and at this point i really dont care,i still have what i had when i showed up and thats all that matters to me | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 6:16:12 PM | Well it sounds like you are better off without her. Some people are flaky, she sounds like one of them. There are SOME people who honestly believe crap like, "I would never trust someone that doesn't drink." It's a load of crap. No QUALITY person will ever care if you are a drinker or not.
Btw, it's one thing to be around people who drink. It's another thing to be around people who are hardcore about it. The last lady I was with ... well, let's just say she needed to learn some moderation. The best thing I did was to move on. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 6:56:38 PM | | I've seen that happen. Just don't get it. I wouldn't be able to say much but, it's not right that someone judges you before they even know you. I hate that sh*t. I don't get it. I know almost how you feel bro. Just keep your head up high and wait it out. Maybe you'll find the right person. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 7:29:30 PM | Why don't you just say that you don't drink?
You don't need to pour out all the details of your life right off the bat.
Wait till they like you first. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 7:58:32 PM | | She did and pressured me about why i didnt drink and wouldnt have a drink with her so i told her.Screwed by honesty again. Oh well im better of without her | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 8:05:34 PM | | You weren't screwed by honesty-- people who pressure people to drink are lame. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/27/2005 9:06:31 PM | | Thanks dancinpants i thought we did have sometin goin on till i got honest so yea she was LAME | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/28/2005 7:33:51 AM | Church-going women often prefer a man who doesn't drink. So do women who go to AA meetings. When a woman has a drinking problem and quits, I've heard they can be more eager than ever for relationships with men. Is that your experience with your AA meetings?
Maybe with any woman you can bring up AA in passing and see how they feel. If someone who goes to a lot of AA meetings make them nervous, and if the relationship is something you really want, maybe you could get more firm on your commitment to sobriety and quit the meetings, or at least cut down. If a woman was attending several Narcotics Anonymous meetings a week (not AA) it would make me a little nervous. I would wonder if she felt so weak in her commitment to keep narcotics from destroying her life that she needed multiple meetings every week. Of course, some people go to a lot of meetings more for meeting friends and having a social time, for something fun to do, and to help others - nothing wrong with that. | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/28/2005 6:31:28 PM | | Hey otherguy it really is a social thing and i dont go just for the women i go for me and the chance to help someone else out if they need it. They helped me so im just returning the favor, It feels good when you know you helped someone out when they needed it. And if people want to judge me and call me the AA guy so what,i dont care To each their own | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 2/28/2005 7:02:26 PM | Keep up the good work Beachboy, Im a friend of Bill and Bob myself so i know it can be a tricky topic. I normaly like to mention that im in the program at the e-mail or chat stage for a couple of reasons. 1) Some people do have a hang up about it and 2) I also go to lots of meetings and that is time consuming. So if they are bothered by either then i like to get it out of the way before any feelings develop and everyone can go on there merry way lol.....
but thats only my opinion and im still single lol
but my experience is that most people in my age range don't seem to be bothered by it,
best of luck | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 3/1/2005 12:35:01 AM | Beachboy,
Wow women need to know any man thats working the program is top quality material My father just took his 28th cake last august. He is only 57 they married very young and all i can say to the ladies is he treats my mom like a princess after fourty years thats wild fourty years long time huh! the twelve steps teach people how to treat people they love and the unity is incredible so to the ladies in florida dont let this fish go!!! reel him in and quick | |
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| Say AA and watch them run
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:16:23 AM | | I've been sober for going on 11 years now. All I can say is page 449. I've recently had a huge ordeal in my life that has required a ton of acceptance on my part. If someone is trying to get you to drink then that person is no good for you period. I will never be ashamed of belonging to A.A. and anyone that tries to take that away from me is not worth it. As my first sponcer told me a long time ago "some people are sicker than others, and some people don't even know theyre sick at least we do" | |
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