| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:50:04 PM | This is not easy for me to ask because usually if there is no humour in it, I stay clear..lol..but to be serious for a moment...
Okay here is my dilemma about finding female friends.
In real time I've plenty of male friends but I find it tough to find some female companionship to do activities (non-sexual, get your mind out of the gutter cause I'm really trying..lol) or just hang-out for a coffee/beer/conversation. Woman in real time here(Ottawa) seem to have preconceived ideas about my intent and assume the worst.
So after years of no online chat/dating sites (mostly used online just for work or gaming) thought I would give it a whirl. Yes I know, PoF is labelled as a "Dating site" but when I did a search for "friends" to find, PoF came up numerous times and seemed to be a logical choice, so I signed up.
One advantage on PoF is you can make a profile stating what you are looking for and this can not be done in real time (hmmm maybe I should wear a profile sign on me walking around, at least it would get a lot of laughs..lol).
To tell you the truth it seems the same online as real time with womens reaction as to my intent. I have sent emails and also have had emails sent to me(yes I know, hard to believe eh?..lol) but nothing ever comes from it because...
want more then friendship/too young/live way too far/not into activities ...etc.
Some of you might be wondering, why does he want to stay single? I just do and am happy to be. Most my friends would vouch for me and you would too if you really knew me.
So question is:
Should I toss in the towel in finding this online?
Should I revaluate my thinking and profile?
Or is it too complicated to have females as "just friends"?
Suggestions?
Any clarity would be greatly appreciated ladies.
BTW luv the new Topic "Ask a Girl", I would not have posted this otherwise. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:58:41 PM | No you should absolutely not toss in the towel. I have many male friends and really value them and their oppinions.
You will more than likely get a few emails from women in your area looking for friends after this post. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:06:32 PM | To answer your first question: Should you toss in the towel in finding this online? That depends on you and how long you're willing to wait. For whatever reason, some people get what they want fairly quick, while others have to patiently wait.
Second question: Should you re-evaluate your thinking and profile? If your profile is a reflection of who you are and what you're seeking, you shouldn't do anything with it. I did read your profile and you are a blunt person but some women like that.
Third question: Is it too complicated to have females as "just friends"? Absolutely not! I have male friends and we hang out and have fun and it never goes beyond that. It may be something that's hard to find in your area but it is definitely possible. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:47:33 PM | | Most of the people I've met on POF are too far away to do more than email or talk, but I've been very successful in other venues. It appears that people who are looking for friendship are most comfortable in group situations. I have joined a dart league, a pool group at the pool hall, a group that meets for lunch, a group that goes to movies, a symphony goers club, one for live theatre, etc. Decide what activities you enjoy and go. There are usually posted notices, literature, and even word of mouth to make you aware of the groups. There are also national and international organizations you can find online. Good luck. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:40:52 PM | | baldfisher hunni know exactly where you,r coming from . im same happy being single , n to be honest came on here coz i was bored at times .but most off the guy,s that do contact me ,have either not read my profile ,or just ignore the fact im stating friendship 1st .dont know why they do that ,but they seem to get pissed off wen i tell them im not looking for a b/f n thats not why im here .but iv not been coming on here long ,so hopefully in time the messege will get through eh ?.anyway hope you find wot you,r looking for on here [friendship ] stick with it a while longer as im going to do hunni . sorry i dont know the answer you,r looking for hunni / wish i did . | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 3:15:09 PM | | classic example [messege i just got there ] guy said hi ,bla bla etc . i looked at his profile n it say,s intimite encounter .i messeged him bk n said ,it say,s on my profile im looking for friendship 1st , he replied i thought you just put that up as an excuse because you were shy ???? if i was shy [witch im not ] i would have put that in my profile . anyway most of my messeges are from guy,s either looking for intimit encounter or long term ?? so why do they get the idea im lying when i say friendship 1st ?? can i ask ??? wot do u see when you look at someone,s profile n it say,s friendship 1st eh ????? coz i see it as i want to make friend,s with a guy 1st then see wot happens ?? maybe me thats sending out wrong messege without realising it i dont know ?? | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 4:28:56 PM | | You have male freinds, don't they have girl freinds, and know other freinds that can hang out with you all and become a freind. If thats all you want. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:32:37 PM |
You have male freinds, don't they have girl freinds, and know other freinds that can hang out with you all and become a freind. If thats all you want.
yup did that, done that.... ended up in a 4 year relationship with her...NEXT!  | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:36:34 PM | So all of them you meet that way, will end up the same way? O.k. Then I would say how do you end up in one if you don't want one. Try the word NO. Repeat it over and over, and follow threw with it. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:43:36 PM | ^^^why the hostility? My post is sincere..maybe read it again?
BTW it was a joke Sammy, I wouldn't have made OP ,If what you stated was possible now would I.
Edit: luv the "edit post" feature..lol | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:48:30 PM | why the hostility?
Sorry didn't know I had any.
My post is sincere..maybe read it again?
Same here. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:36:31 PM | | hunni im same im not on here lookin for any thing but to make friends , but im intelligent enough to know anything can happen rite ?? but im upfront with the person im talking to im not lookin 4 a intimite encounter , long time , short time , or any other ?? and believe me 95 per cent dont want to know when you spell it out to them honestly ?? so why dont guy,s believe us wen we say friend ship ?? well il tell u they think were shy n gulibble thats why ?? sad but true | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 6:36:36 PM | | hunni im same im not on here lookin for any thing but to make friends , but im intelligent enough to know anything can happen rite ?? but im upfront with the person im talking to im not lookin 4 a intimite encounter , long time , short time , or any other ?? and believe me 95 per cent dont want to know when you spell it out to them honestly ?? so why dont guy,s believe us wen we say friend ship ?? well il tell u they think were shy n gulibble thats why ?? sad but true | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 7:18:52 PM | Perhaps you should consider reading No More Mr Nice Guy, it's a book (also ebook) http://www.nomoremrniceguy.com
Then reread your post.
(short answer: no)
This is not a spam or commercial plug, I read the book and it totally changed my outlook on dating and relationships. It's a must-read for all guys. | |
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| female friends, no strings
Posted: 7/3/2006 8:47:20 PM | bbill
Are you saying I need help???...lol...just kidding, it''''s all good.
Very insightful book I am sure. In my 30''''s I read many insightful books of relationships like this one written by PhDs'''' and what have you, and I totally agree with them. Sometimes we feel we can relate things as our own. I am 42 now and am on possibly different path now in life unlike your own. As to reread my post...well yes it lacks information as to why I prefer to stay single but I didn''''t feel it necessary to bore the readers with many pages, in respect to the forum of keeping it short and simple as possible, saving people from melodramatics. I''''m not trying to go off as a smart ass, I''''m far from that..lol. I just know where I am at right now in my life, and hey who knows, maybe in 5 years things will change...that''''s the whole part of growing up/aging/evolving/maturing physically and mentally.
I more then likely will read the book now, just for the fact of curiosity....anyways I can go on and on..but yeah that about sums it up.
BTW bbill congrats on your first day at the forums posting...or should I say "forum post devirginization"..is that a word...lol...it''s rough seas out here at times. | |
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