| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 1:22:00 AM | | I just saw a thread about cheating and was surprised by some of the responses. If your SO was cheating on you and others knew. Would you want to be told of the deceit? I would want to know. Would you? If you would NOT want to know, please explain why. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 1:49:46 AM | | I'm curious ruddiger and please this is not a flame or judgment call. Are you telling me then you would rather remain ignorant to the deceit though others knew and you did not because an SO and his/her lover would not tell you? If this is the case why? I really want to know. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 1:58:49 AM | Is that really a fair statement Everetteli? How would you be an idiot if a deceit was performed on you? Do you feel you would be an idiot because you do not read minds?? I''m confused by your response.
Hey I think this is a very good topic. I am not aware it is redundant. Don''t delete this thread.
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:03:56 AM | So, basically - finding out that your are cheated on is an "inconvenience". You have to go to the doctor?
What if you have been cheated on for months and didn't know??
I just go with the flow. If I am not sure - then, I am not sure and I carry on.
This is such a bitter thread.... | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:06:40 AM | | Everyone is entitled to their opinion Clematis, but I assure you this is not a bitter thread. Why would you say it is? I did not ask if you were not sure either. I asked if you would want to know if others knew. Pretty simple question really. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:06:44 AM | If I had a girlfriend who wanted to have sex with another man, all she has to do is come to me and say so.
No problem, I would let her.
Naturally, she souldn't mind if I had sex with another woman.
NO ?
Well, I hope she picks a guy with a truck, so he can help her move her stuff.
What's really the interesting part of cheating ?
The cheating, or getting away with the cheating ? | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:07:14 AM | | Would I want to be told? Yes, I would want to know, and hopefully, in a way that tells me that the person doing the telling is being honest and kind. Not snakry...like, guess what I heard...rather " I want you to hear this from me" kind of approach. But sheeit, that is a tough call, would I want to be the one doing the telling? | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:13:58 AM | | Yes this is a very touchy subject groovy serene. One to be handled with kid gloves and not self satisfaction. I posted this because of some comments on another thread that surprised me. Though the pain would be great. I would want to know. If others do not' I really want to know why anyone would choose to live in ignorance rather then know the truth. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:18:02 AM | Clematis I respect what you are saying, but am still confused. What if (for whatever reason )your SO chose not to tell you BUT others knew. Are you telling me you would rather live in ignorance? and if so why? I''m not talking heresay either. If others knew this to be the truth.
@Nipoleon. You never gave an answer to my topic. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:27:25 AM | How would I know what others knew, unless they told me. If they really cared about me - they would not say anything. They would know me well enough, that I can handle myself and that all will be 'revealed' in God's time. Only if I hear it from the lips of my lover - I do not hear.
I know that my lover would never say those things to me. My ex left me for many reasons. Many reasons. Some were my fault. I know that. In fact, many were my fault. I never cheated on him, though. Not for real, in a physical way.
So, I only knew it was over when HE told me... | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 2:38:00 AM | | I am truly sorry. I did and do not mean to bring up past hurt. I feel if someone cared about me they WOULD tell me. Hell I would not give a rats bottom if they hated me. So long as my eyes were opened to the deceit or the possibility of it. I would like to think the lady I was involved with (even if heresay) would be mature enough to understand I was feeling vulnerable and thought enough of our relationship to talk to me about it. Instead of me stressing over it. And by god if the someone telling was bullsh**ing me.............. Well thats another topic. :) | |
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D3nis3
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Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 22 | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:12:42 AM | -------So, basically - finding out that your are cheated on is an "inconvenience". You have to go to the doctor?---------
Lets say your spouse or girlfriend cheated on you and contracted HIV. She didn't tell you because of all the obvious reasons. You sleep with her without a condom because plenty of long term couples ditch condoms and move to other forms of birth control. Then she gives you HIV.
If she later tells you she cheated, what are you going to do?
Stick your neck in the sand and hope she didn't give you The Drip or something worse? What if you infect the next person you date because you didn't get tested? Would you want to live with something like that?
Its one thing to have your spouse or girlfriend be irresponsible with their health and yours, its another thing to be irresponsible for your own health and potentially those you may love down the road.
Also in some states, the issue of 'fault' may not matter for who can pursue a divorce, but it may matter in terms of child custody. While its rare for fathers to get custody, if having your wife confess that she banged the milkman gives you that little edge you need to keep your kids, then thats valuable information to have. For example - if your wife cheats on you, she can still file for a 'no fault' divorce. The Family Court will not factor in her cheating, even if she admits it, in whether she can have a divorce or not. The Court also won't factor it in during property/asset division. This is because 'fault' divorces take a long time and are painful bitter processes. The US government just wants you to shut up and pay your alimony and child support to prop up the US economy and keep your kid off the government tit. However if your spouse ran off with the milkman for two weeks into another state to cheat, then the Court can decide that her cheating and what she did to facilitate that cheating shows her unfit to be a mother and the father could win custody.
Emotionally, yes its better not to know. That violation of trust is devastating. For health and legal reasons, yes sometimes its better to know. | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:28:42 AM | | Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Mr. Gecko. You sir may be on to something. Yes it would be devastating emotionally and for some the ego. Not to mention the turmoil of ones life being turned upside down. FEAR may be why those who prefer not to know defend not wanting to know. I have heard on here some say ONLY from the SO or the lover. Well they certainly are no SO or lover if deceiving you? Fair statement? | |
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| If your significant other was cheating, would you want to be told?
Posted: 7/4/2006 3:44:35 AM | I''d definitely want to be told,that way we can both get out of a relationship that has basically ended and it can be unsafe health wise, but it''s a rather sticky situation when you know about someone else...it''s hard to be the one to drop the bomb, so I can understand if friends hesitate. It''s like being out and you have something in your teeth or your zipper down, everyone sees it but no one wants to say anything for fear of embarassing you or themselves , and then along comes a friend with enough balls to tell you and save you from spending the whole night that way, I think we''d all want to know. Just like that saying "doing the right thing isn''''t always the easy thing" or something like that..........
~NR~ | |
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