| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 2:48:04 PM | | How soon after meeting online do you actually meet in person? I'm constantly amazed at how many people contact me and within a few short sentences are already asking to meet. Is that what most people do? I prefer to actually talk for a bit, get to know someone. Not on here to see how many meetings I can rack up. Would rather only meet people that I think I might actually like. You can't tell what you think of a person just from their profile, I think you need to actually talk for a bit and see what they are about. Call me crazy. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:04:18 PM | | All depends...I mean you may go up to someone in a bar to hang out with them and meet when all u know id what they look like and how they act in a bar. My main reason for not wanting to meet some people right away is they usually just want a one night stand or soemthing....really depends on the initial interaction and where we would go | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:05:48 PM | You single again dimples or just honouring us with your great knowlege:
and i mean that as a compliment | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:06:51 PM | I say within 1 week, maybe 2 ... no need to build an imaginary online relationship.
By meeting I'm suggesting an initial one on one casual thing, not a big dinner, movie, drink, and dance afterwards typme thing ... a simple walk along the waterfront/gardens, playing frisbee on the commons, something simple, but active at the same time.
You can get to know someone so much better in real life then typing messages back and forth all day/night/week/month/etc. Makes everything much more "real". | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:13:53 PM | Well I have to agree some time to see if communication actally exists... some people can't communicate on line here or on MSN..so if nothing there..then why try to meet.
If the ranter seems easy and have common interests.. after a few talks.. whatever..two decide.. then meet for something casual.
I don't meet every 5 mins for coffees, which some appear to do.. Whatever floats your boat.. I guess.. lOL  | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:08:37 PM | I think that everyone is different.....maybe you chat online, or just in chatting on the phone you know by the way someone sounds.....their manners.....or their ability to enunciate...... that you do or do not wish to meet him/her.
I have met a few people shortly after chatting online, some on the phone and when have met in person that's it......just no connection that made me want to meet again.
The last I met in person after chatting with online months before. In meeting in person you may be pleasantly surprised. So back to the point....I think you yourself know if it feels right. We are all adults, so always use your best judgement.
There is no right or wrong time for the first meeting!  | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:14:48 PM | | I chatted to my husband for about 7 months before he booked his ticket to come over. I used to be pretty weary about meeting people online..he was the first one i met and we got married..hahaha go figure | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:46:45 PM | | Does anyone else get messages or mail where literally the 2nd or 3rd sentence is, do you want to meet. I mean, barely 10 words are exchanged and they say "Want to meet". Do other people get that? If you're one of the people who does that, why do you do it? Don't you want to at least know something about the person before meeting? Or am I missing something here? I get it all the time. Constantly. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:16:35 PM | Being a male I never got a "Wanna meet?" right away. I think that is usually the guys saying that. I never asked the question right away. Chatting a bit definitely helps determine if the other person would want to. Everything has steps. You see a pic, sparks interest. You read the profile. Hmm, interesting, would like to contact that person. You make contact. They reciprocate and a conversation follows. Still interested??? Ask to meet. If they say yes, it's the start. Actual one to one determines if it will go any farther. 
No, tallgirl, I wouldn't call you crazy.  | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:56:37 PM | I used to get those messages tallgirl. They have petered out for some reason though.
I had one guy asking me to attend his office Xmas party with him after two messages. It just felt like too much like an escort service. I like meeting at the POF parties. I've only met one guy on here in person alone and it was after we met at a POF party.
It just takes the pressure off because you aren't on a 'date'. You are just two among many going to a place where everyone is there to have fun. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/5/2006 9:05:44 PM | Solid point Polly.
It really gives one a chance to see a person that may have been of interest without having to arrange a date. No awkward moments as there is a whole party going around you. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:50:16 AM | | I like to meet fairly quickly, but casually. I find it hard to get to know someone through online chatting. You dont get to see the smile that goes with the comments, and that means something to me. Having said that I dont look to rush things and I dont even consider the first meeting as a date. If the meeting goes well then you ask for a date. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 8:32:25 AM | I only tend to want to meet guys from here that I "know" a little through the forums. That's where you get a more real idea of what a person is like. I rarely go on "dates" with pof'ers. I'd prefer, like Polly said, to meet people at POF functions. Takes the pressure off.
If someone said "wanna meet" within the first day or two of chatting, that would be a fairly sizeable red flag for me. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:10:31 AM | ^^^ what she said (although it's hard for me to talk with people in a loud, public environment). I've had one meeting/date since I've been on here with someone that wanted to meet right away. Not so sure I'd be doing THAT again, lol! (remember that story 1CC?) Besides, no matter how well you hit it off in messages/MSN, physical attraction plays a big role and you need to be seen in person for that. A POF event is a great way to "size him/her up" prior to pursuing someone further. Gotta get close to those pheromones! | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:32:52 AM | I like to chat with someone for a bit via email, then progress to msn and such, then I'll consider meeting them... If there is no spark in their online conversations, I usually don't feel that motivated to meet them in person.
I definitely like to take my time until I'm comfortable... | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:41:02 AM | I strongly dislike meetings! I worry about the other person's hopes that someone will happen, and wonder what to do when I'm really thinking 'No, thanks'. I am trying to understand why meetings that originate from online seem to go so unsuccessfully. Could possibly have something to do with feelings seeming forced instead of developed. In regular scenarios you might see someone for the first time and they’re on your mind and you want to find out if they’re single or not. Then you make every effort to see if they will like you in return. You could even develop a serious attraction for someone that wouldn’t usually fall into your ‘type’. When I meet someone from online I can’t help having certain high expectations. Seriously, we just placed an ad and had guys soliciting our attention, so it inherently causes me to become choosy. And like 1CC says, it creates pressure. The kind that I really don’t like because I hate letting people down, or this feeling that I think I’m better than people. No thanks.
Earlier when I was working at the Lower Deck, I’d counter this by inviting people to come down and say hi casually. Trouble is, most guys won’t go out of their way and they could be meeting other girls while you’re waiting for that convenient chance meeting. My next answer was to branch out, and meet some people. But I needed to get to know them a bit on msn and see some photos that tell you things about them. Maybe even talk on the phone. Then the problem was that this took too long and they were meeting other girls before we’d had our chance to connect in person.
Meh, I just have no answers. But group events seem like the most sensible option. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 10:01:43 AM | | This is why I like the forums so much. I was starting to think I was the crazy one. I can understand that after a few conversations some might want to meet. Its the ones that ask within two sentences of first meeting online that were getting to me. Its nice to know that others feel the same. Was starting to wonder if it was the norm for people to meet after 5 words are exchanged and I'm just not normal lol | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 10:03:20 AM | I've done both... meeting people from online, almost immediately, and chatting for a long time before actually seeing them offline.
It's really hard to say. A lot of people are quite different in the real world than their online selves. A person that I might really connect with online can have no sparks when I meet them. Conversely, I've met people who weren't much for chatting or e-mail, but had great personalities.
The trick so far has been to not really expect something to happen. A meeting doesn't have to be more than it is. In the end, if something works out, friendship or relationship, it's really kind of arbitrary how it started.
Look at the friends you have now. Do you remember how you met all of them? Me neither. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 10:37:21 AM | | I done both, meet fairly quickly, and talk for quite some time before meeting, and I would have to say the sooner the better, not after one day mind you, but within a week if there is interest. I find with waiting so long, you get tend to see only one side of the person, which is by email, and so when you do actually meet, for me, they were let downs from what I was expecting, some could have been on my part for expecting them to be a certain way, but also some was the others, presenting themselves as a certain way via email. I also dont get how people can get on here and say they will not meet people they do not know, only ones from the forums, or a POF function, well in my opinion, there isnt too many people that do the forum thing, or the functions for that matter, and this IS a dating site and the whole reason for this is to meet people from here if there is some interest, whats the big deal of meeting for coffee in a very public place. | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 11:21:06 AM | and this IS a dating site and the whole reason for this is to meet people from here if there is some interest, whats the big deal of meeting for coffee in a very public place
Testify! ;) | |
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| Meeting for the first time
Posted: 7/6/2006 11:24:19 AM |
whats the big deal of meeting for coffee in a very public place.
If someone asked to meet me right away (like that very night), and we met for coffee 2 days later, I would hope that he'd bring some money with him... He had a great time and wanted to see me again - and why would he not? He had the best conversation (aka loved the sound of his own voice), AND I bought the coffee. 
It's no wonder I'm gun shy now about meeting anyone else one-on-one...
I would have to say the sooner the better, not after one day mind you, but within a week if there is interest I agree - which is why I did the coffee date above in two days; I earlier talked myself out of meeting a man that seemed to have terrific potential when I became too nervous after messaging for almost a week.
To sum up: I'm a big chicken sh!t after being single for almost 3 years... | |
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