| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 2:53:37 PM | Hi,
I did a thread search for serial dating and didn't find anything so I figured I'd throw this out there and see what some of you think. I always enjoy the opinions from the numerous people on this site.
I've done internet dating for the last few years and have met some great friends and met a lot of people. I've seen people on websites that have been there for years (at least with me I get bored, leave the sites for six months to a year and move along) I began to wonder if people who do online dating get hooked on it. I've known a few people who were members of 4 or 5 different paysites and they were like kids in candy stores re: the people they were corresponding with. I once asked my friend, "If you found someone great wouldn't you pull all your profiles and just settle down?" The answer was: "I could but what if there is someone better out there?"
Is dating like the stock market where people are always looking to trade up? (I know, sounds like a quote from Sex and the City) Prior to the internet you'd meet people but there was no place where you could sit and "shop" all day long for people of all sizes, shapes, tastes, geographic locations etc. Does this abundance of choices make it too hard to settle on one person? What is your process of elimination as you wade through the myriad of profiles and determine who you will write to and who makes your hand twitch to hit the delete key? Are people being selective or are they hooked on the dating process that is created by sites like this one?
Definitely interested in everyone's thoughts on this topic. Have a great day! | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:00:36 PM | the internet could promote a lot of things...
its more about a persons personaility. Just like winning the lotto could promote a person
to do a lot of things they normally wouldnt or couldnt...
having acess to many people could do....
and what someone chooses to do with it...
is something personal.
I was looking for someone particular... and I finally met him
after meeting all kinds of people who had me meet them by holding back
some pertinent info about themselves... like diseases, mental illness,
being married, engaged to be married, all kinds of things............
I finally met him after meeting about 200 guys...
only a handful in over 2 years that were worth some consideration.
Dating can be time consuming and people will make of it what they will... as people
are not all looking for the same thing.
I guess we finally get who and what we ask for...
eventually...
which can be a wonderful thing for one person
and a lesson from the bowels of hell for another.
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:08:30 PM | | The internet doesn't promote it, but people take advantage of the opportunity. And while I don't think it's a great idea to serial date, it's better than parallel dating - unless you haven't made a commitment. (Not to mention serial parallel dating!) | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:18:34 PM | met a few guys writing a book about online dating ( about 3)
I didnt bother to meet them or waste time... I'm not looking for someone
writing a book.. or wearing a clown suit.
I'd pass.
ever see "IT".. ? there was a clown in that movie too.
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:45:23 PM | | yes,def does promote it,,and its def the candy store,syndrome. Not sure whether the net is a good or bad thing,,,,,,,,,the jury is still out on that one | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:21:20 PM | | Serial dating is inefficient. If one is looking for the best possible match for a long-term commitment, one should be dating multiple people at once, determine which of them are a cut above, and then pare them down from there, being left with the one (or ones, if everyone swings that way) you deem worthy to spend your life with. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:21:31 PM | | Wow this sure opened my eyes. I have been to several sites over the years. Stay a while, maybe get a date. Get bored with the whole thing after a while, stop visiting personal sites, and go on about my life. Then a few months later, or even years, I do a search on one the sites, and what do you know, the same people. It's discouraging to me because I think if they didn't find anybody, I guess I shouldn't bother trying again. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 4:36:11 PM | It doesn't take much to filter a person out. I could usually tell within 2 dates if a person qualified for long-term potential. I'd just schedule several dates with different people within a 2-week time-frame. I'd use the online dating sites to pre-filter my matches, and then go from there.
Besides, what's not to focus on? You're not dating them together at the same place and same time. You focus on the people when you're with them on the date. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:03:48 PM |
(OP) I've done internet dating for the last few years and have met some great friends and met a lot of people. I've seen people on websites that have been there for years (at least with me I get bored, leave the sites for six months to a year and move along) I began to wonder if people who do online dating get hooked on it.
When I was dating it was through a phone service. People left voice ADS and one responded via voice mail. As soon as I met someone and felt a possible connection I removed my AD and dated that person exclusively.
If it didn't work out I replaced my AD. I met my current partner that way and it's been 10 years now. I think it all boils down to how serious one is in wanting a partner. I always asked how long the person had been on the service.
(Msg 19) I kinda disagree. You should have them pretty well filtered before you even date them. Too many at one time means you are not focusing on any individual person.
I agree. I also wonder where the chemistry/magic is when one is dating a number of people deciding on the "best deal". I suspect they would be the first ones to trade up if/when the occasion arose. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:18:28 PM | yes the internet promotes serial dating,
it gives u access to ten times more ppl than u normally would in real life.
so u tend to pass ppl over more quickly and move on to the next. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/5/2006 5:55:17 PM |
I think it all boils down to how serious one is in wanting a partner. I always asked how long the person had been on the service.
Right. The better question would be to ask how many dates the person had been on and how many people they had slept with. Just BEING on a dating site means nothing. The less than perfect people are not likely to get snapped up very quickly, if at all. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:31:52 PM | Makes you wonder what the future holds.
Will Our great great grandchildren be able to design their own mate?
Who would have ever thought this was a possibility?
Amazing how wonderful technology can speed things up but when it comes to dating is that a good thing?
Doesn't seem like people really take the time to get to know each other .......one date and its like the soup nazi..............NEXT!..............or no more soup for you. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/27/2006 7:34:58 PM | "Did someone say candystore ? I'll have some gummy bears please."
I agree "passes on the gummy bears"....
People "WE" have to be SMART about doing things especially when its online and if "internet" promotes serial dating why are we on the dating site and im not talking about the ones who are just on, here for the fourms i mean the people who are on here looking to date. | |
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| Serial dating: Does the internet promote it?
Posted: 7/28/2006 3:24:27 PM | Right. The better question would be to ask how many dates the person had been on and how many people they had slept with. Just BEING on a dating site means nothing. The less than perfect people are not likely to get snapped up very quickly, if at all.
Well then I guess I'm one of the less than perfect...I've been on and off here for over two years..........with less than a dozen dates from the internet........
If you ask me perfection is highly over-rated....... | |
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