| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:09:14 PM | | Ok, my girlfriend is always mentioning or asking what I would do if she wanted to date her ex again k? First time I got pretty upset and let her know. The last time, I figured she's gonna do what she's gonna do and there's no way I'M gonna stop her. So I said if that's what she wants, go ahead. Apparently that's the wrong answer too because she got turned off and thought that I just didn't care enough to fight for her. She knows I will fight for her...to an extent. If SHE wants to be with him, I'm wasting my time staying with her. I WILL fight for what COULD be mine forever. If not, I'm not gonna waste my time. I told her it was HER decision. Is that the right thing to say? | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:22:24 PM | | Why would you leave your life up to someone else to decide? She keeps asking because it's in the cards one way or another. I would just dump her and then let her come crawling back begging for another chance, and that she will never ever play stupid head games again. Move on, and she will move right along with you! Who has time for high school games, unless of course you're both still in high school, then, what can I say, it's part of the learning process. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:28:53 PM | | Maybe you should start asking her the same stupid high school questions and see how long it takes to set her off lol Constantly mentioning it and asking you to entice you into some angery show of emotion is pretty petty and immature, personally I would say if it interests you so much that you must constantly ask and talk about it, go be with him, obviously it is what you want and kiss her good bye it will probably save you alot of time and energy. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:32:01 PM | Seems she's interested in dating her ex's. If you want her attention, tell her good-bye, then she'll come back later.
Honestly, though, if she asked once, joking around, that's a joke. Asking seriously, though, indicates a storm in the background. She might be asking the hypothetical because she's already with him. She might be asking to divert the situation, to find a good time to tell you the truth, to drop the hint, etc. She wants you to say 'go ahead', so the break-up becomes your fault (alleviating her guilt--you dumped her, instead of vice versa, so you can feel better about it).
I may be wrong as well. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:33:56 PM | Can't beat a good song....
(he said just) Walk like a man
Talk like a man
Walk like a man my son
No woman's worth
Crawling on the earth
Just walk like a man my son
Head games like that went out of style a long time ago. Grade school, I'm thinking. Just walk away and don't look back.
Oh yeah. Your profile says single, not dating, so I'm guessing you already made your decision. Why ask us then? | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:34:58 PM | you said the right thing but maybe for the wrong reason.
yes she is gonna do what shes gonna do... and asking you
( her bf) what YOU would do if she wanted to date her ex...
is just some kind of attempt for her tp play head games with you.
You cannot control anyone...
only your response to them...
she got turned off my your response? meaning exactly what? she didnt like it?
too bad...
tell her to do what she likes and dont worry about if she is turned on or off...
find someone who wants to be with you and is happy to be with you...
not some psycho woman who wants to play head games.
The right reason to say what you did is that you cannot control her and she
is playing immature games trying to make you jealous or something and
CONTROL YOU with her respones.
you said the right thing...
now follow up and stay away from her and let her live her life...
date who she wants... | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:35:20 PM | | Maybe she's testing the waters with you. Maybe she's wanting a reaction from you. Personnally I believe it's a head game. And...my question to you is, "are you ready for a life long committment to head games? provoked jealousy?" I say she needs to sh@t or get off the pot!!! | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:38:05 PM | Well I have to ask you, in your profile why does it state that you are single and looking for dating? Is she picking up on you not only wanting her in the picture? Men do give off those vibes....soem learn to hide them but some never do (my ex good case in point)
If she feels that you are not completely into her (which might have prompted the asking about the ex thing) that could be her way of FEELING YOU OUT, to see where she stands with you and if you are going to be there. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:39:23 PM | | Sounds like she's just trying to gauge your affection by instigating a reaction of jealousy. It's pretty puerile on her part - perhaps you should tell her that you love her but if she refuses to grow up and stop toying with your emotions, you'll move onto someone that will. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:50:58 PM | If you want to be with her, tell her, "I want to be with you, but I cannot make up YOUR mind for you. "
Ask her if she wants to be with you or the other guy, and ask her to be honest.
If she answers 'you', then ask her to stop testing you that way because it is not the kind of question that creates trust and further bonding between two people.
I learned a while ago that I should always think about whether what I am going to say will push the other person away from me, or bond us better. Tell her to stop playing games with you, and make up her mind.
E. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 3:58:59 PM | It appears that someone is trying to play puppeteer, trying to see which string will make you dance best to her tune. You don't have to put up with that.
As a previous poster stated, this may be her way of testing you out as relationship material. However, in this day and age, there are FAR more civilized ways of finding that out, ways that do not involve constant taunting and idle threats. If she feels so insecure about the relationship, why not talk it out instead of throwing the ex in your face? Good communication is the foundation of a relationship, so why does she not be open about her concerns, rather than playing games to get her answers?
You responded accordingly; if she really wants to be with her ex, let her go. You don't have control over what someone wants to do. Only the individual questioning it has that power. If she is going to keep bringing that up, it's a good basis for dismissal… | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:01:43 PM | | If she really loves you there's no need for her to even mention her ex.you had evry right to be upset because if she's with you, she shouldn't be thinking about her ex.You made the right decision. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:27:20 PM | That's your signal to start inviting her out for threesomes.
She's totally disrespecting you but rather than kick her out why not start celebrating her new found open-ness by picking up other women with her by your side. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:35:47 PM | Be honest with her - not only will you let her know exaclty where you stand, but you are reassuring her that she is valued. I know it seems childish for her to ask (and it IS childish) but we all have our insecurities in life and I guess that one is hers. If her asking is driving you crazy then do something to break the cycle - such as tackling her to the floor blowing on her belly and telling her you aren't going to share her under any circumstances. It's just silly enough but honest enough to disarm her and you could end up having fun.
Telling her to do what she wants is a sure way to loose her because it implies you really don't care. She wants (and needs) to know where the boundaries are as it makes her feel secure in her relationship with you. And she may need you to repeat these boundaries again down the road when she starts doubting her value in your life. Basically she is asking "do you love me?" but from a different direction.
It takes some people longer to grow up - but if she is the woman you want then handle her honestly and at least she will always know where she stands with you. | |
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epc
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Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 19 | |
| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 6:44:28 PM | I asked a previous boyfriend something similar to that, his answer I thought was great. Basically, if I were to leave him for any other man then he’d be happy and NOT want to fight for me, his theory and I agree is that the other guy did him a favour. Why fight for someone or invest more in someone that will stray so easily.
E | |
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JWA
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Joined: 5/21/2005
Msg: 21 | |
| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:01:54 PM | Sounds like a bit of insecurity or she's feeling somewhat neglected? I don't know her age but this seems to be something more like a younger woman might do---seeking attention in a somewhat minor dramatic way.
Were it me she was asking I'd let her know I'd do anything I could to DEFEND her in the fighting sense but I'd not lift a finger trying to keep her away from someone she would want more than me. While that might be yet another "wrong answer" in her opinion the very premise of her question is total BS and no one here can dispute that.
There is obviously something more to her question---you might want to see if you can discover what that is. Work on whatever prompts her to pose such hypothetical questions and tell her how it makes you feel. Maybe that would wake her up to the foolishness of such actions?
Best of luck in this---sounds like something that's not going too well just now. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 7:32:30 PM | yanno jl.. there is no happy medium w/us females.. damned if u do.. damned if u don`t.. lol
u should`ve told her 2 stop playing games w/u.. if she loves u.. then she wouldn`t be testing u the way she did.. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:04:41 PM | When people truly care for one another,I think its incredibly immature to "hypothetically" test a partners love with ,"what if/what would you do" types of questions.It screams insecurity and childishness to me.I think when you told her that it was her decision if she goes back with her ex,you were absolutely right.If she wants to be with her ex ,it will be inevitable,regardless of the answer you gave her.I really think she was just testing you to see how much you really care.which as I said earlier, is extremely high schoolish and emotionally immature behaviour. | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:06:01 PM | Sounds to me like she isnt feelin the love from you,for whatever reason and is looking for a reaction. Either that or she really does wanna get it together with him? ask her outright, if its the 'not feelin the love' then you can deal with it from there, if its that she wants to see him again, then bin the whole thing. It will be hard, but who wants someone that doesnt want them??
Nobody should come 2nd best.
Or play her at her own game and see how she feels about you dating your ex again.....I bet the reaction she gives is a blinder!! lol | |
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| what do I say? C'mon girls, tell me the truth.
Posted: 7/5/2006 8:16:24 PM |
Nope; you say, "what's his phone number; I'll get him here right now!" Then, you chuckle, get your car keys, and don't show up for a few days...
hahahahaha...good one!
i also like some1's reply in regards to the woman's age. yep...it can definitely be an age, *attention* seeking thing. honestly, we girls are messed-up complicated like that. sadly, we don't come with a manual. why? because we're all different. some silly guy might use the same manual on different girls...and that'll cause a greater disaster.
the point is, you're gonna have to know your gf, to know what response she'd expect. discuss it to her as to why she got upset.
my bf and i always discuss this *property* thing.
i asked him, if there came a situation that some girl is chopping him, WHAT would HE WANT me to do? i told him that my reaction would just be to sit back and watch. the relationship is between him and i. if someone were to come in the picture, it's up to him how he deals with her. he's not MY *property*. he can do what ever he wants. it's HIS duty to shew them away. i mean, what if they just wanna talk to him, i don't wanna come off as someone protective. he has his freedom.
then he said he'd want me to step up and claim him. it's not more so that i seem clingy or anything, or to shew the girls away. he said to him, he just feels more special, or feeling wanted to be *claimed* [infront of those girls].
so the point to that is, every chick is different. i understand why she's upset. it's not necessarily always *insecurity* or what not. people just view things differently =) | |
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