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 ~Jolie~
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 1
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT DatingPage 1 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
When someone shows a lot of interest in you..and you all hang out as a group....How do you let them know that the feelings are NOT mutual without hurting them or causing problems in the group.....

For example Person A is a lot younger than person B and it might be just an infatuation thing that has carried on too long and gotten out of hand...



*This thread WAS created for a friend of mine that is really stuck for an answer on how to deal with this...




Discuss.......
 Rodzores
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 2
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:25:26 PM
SOONER THAN LATER!!!!
(i don't really know anything else)
 Slovenija
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 3
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:27:05 PM
I'd totally make out with an older chick.
 Tallbudguy
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 4
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:29:46 PM
ya make out with another member of the group or simply avoid the individual. lol or here's a thought, tell them that the interest is not mutual.
 Newfiegirl!
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 5
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:32:56 PM
Humm...a less harsh way maybe invite other people along, Talk to other people and try not to stick around he/she all night. This happen to me before....I told him I didnt feel the same and he stopped talking to me for almost a year. Now I take the less vocal route. He/she will eventually get the hint that you would rather be friends and nothing more.
 veintapperiam
Joined: 10/7/2005
Msg: 6
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:34:02 PM
With honesty first & foremost... and with tact too. Obviously there are reasons why A & B won't equal C. I think the reciever of unwanted attention needs to tell the infatuated one why they aren't interested (too young/wrong type/just want to be friends/etc) & why it won't work... gently but firmly of course.

There will always be hurt feelings (it's pretty human)...after all it sucks when you're interested in someone only to find out they're either a) not into you at all for reason x/y/z; or b) not into you, but into someone else instead; c) just not bloody interested thanks!

I don't know if that helps or not Jolie... sorry!
 ~LoriMac~
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 7
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 3:37:14 PM
fine.. i get the hint...your not intrested...ouch my ego...whatever...and FYI...your not that much younger then me...30 is creeping up on ya...ooops... i mean umm uhh...err...you could maybe tell them straight out...or maybe like call them...spend time with them alone...spooning...call me
 Jestie
Joined: 10/20/2005
Msg: 8
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 4:03:11 PM
just tell em straight up privately.. hopefully they will be mature about it....
 pixechik
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 9
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 4:23:45 PM
Just tell them you think of them as a littel brother / sister...;)
 thegoodtrouble
Joined: 12/8/2004
Msg: 10
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 4:30:58 PM
Jolie's lost for words! I never thought I'd see the day.
 unrefined
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 11
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 4:54:45 PM

Just tell them you think of them as a littel brother / sister...;)


OH GOD!!! That ones a killer for sure...
 deputys girl
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 12
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 5:40:39 PM
Hasnt this thread been done already????? I member seeing it not that long ago...
 ~-~GEM~-~
Joined: 11/16/2005
Msg: 13
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 5:51:07 PM
Not to be rude but I think every thread has been done .. so take a chill pill and throw in your advice or don't .. It's your choice..!!

For instance, say you are a regular POF'er .. You pretty much have seen almost everything in a thread.. even say.. Home repairs.. but someone new joins and do you think they need to find a thread written a year ago by people who aren't on the site anymore and read through 62 pages of crap to get some advice???
 Well-Balanced
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 14
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:01:53 PM
Direct communication is the best way. There is no room for misunderstandings and prolonging the inevitable. You just end up hurting the other person if you avoid, or try to be passive about it. Stringing them along is very unkind, so be clear but be gentle. This way the other person can move on and find someone that is more likely to return their feelings.

In some cases not always, subconsciously or consciously, a person wants the attention and may like it but really has no intension of returning the feelings, this can be damaging to other person's self confidence and esteem.
 Captain Happy Pants
Joined: 10/14/2005
Msg: 15
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:02:25 PM
I think you just need to come out and be honest with them that the feeling is not mutual (don't like them like that) and then it is up to them......if they don't talk to you fine that is their choice. It would be better then if they have all these false hopes that something is going to happen. between 2 people.........just my 0.02
 Spaceman_Spiff
Joined: 8/22/2005
Msg: 16
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:04:41 PM
I think Rod and Jestie nailed it. The sooner the better, and talk to them in private. I'll add: tell them straight up, no lies, no bs. Polite, sincere, honest and mature will always go over better.
 stoneangelxz
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 17
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:06:09 PM
Naw say things like "kiddo" "bud" youre such a cool friend, you are like my bro or sis.... Usually they get the picture
 Rodzores
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 18
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:19:42 PM
Spiff is right! Unless you actually did feel the bro/sis/one of the gang, thing, but don't say that if its not the case, if it is, Perfect, but No BS Sugarcoat bullshit! And don't do it amongst the herd

Otherwise to save time you could just do the classic reach in his chest, rip out his heart, toss it on the floor and stomp it like a cigarette! (on edit: this only happens when you wait later than sooner, sugarcoat, b.s. etc?)
 Taurid
Joined: 3/31/2006
Msg: 19
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:21:40 PM
I spent much of 87 to 90 bouncing in and out of infatuation with someone. She handled it correctly, largely with "I'm honoured, but I don't feel that way back."

Don't play the subtle hints game to try to save his feelings! What kind of advice is that? If this were a time for subtlety, he would know already. Tell him about it. Directly.
 Rodzores
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 20
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:22:49 PM
Maybe its a matter of if your telling a man vs a women? id want it honest and quick remember
(Seriously it would depend alot on the person)
If hes a man, he can take it like a man! lol
 ~*sexyscorpio*~
Joined: 1/17/2006
Msg: 21
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:46:38 PM
Who said it was a guy....the reciever of the not so good news may be a girl.....and hopefully she could take it like a woman.....
 Rodzores
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 22
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:52:16 PM
So if your honest and nice about it, and Dont lead the "person" on. Its really only as hard as you (being the person not interested) makes it one yourself?

Its a long road from "Oooh get away from me creep" to "you know, its just not happening"
 .:BrokenDolly:.
Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 23
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 6:55:46 PM
Best thing to do is just say it like it is in a case like this..

Good Luck to your Friend!

Shells
 ~Jolie~
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 24
How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:01:56 PM

Hasnt this thread been done already????? I member seeing it not that long ago...


Please DO find it and attach the URL to this one...then I can see all of the OLD ideas AND all of the new opinions....


To everyone else....I know he/she is watching right now..and hopefully some of this advice is kicking in.....Before the youngin gets to attached and hurt.....
 pixechik
Joined: 3/17/2006
Msg: 25
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How Do You Break Up With Someone Your NOT Dating
Posted: 7/6/2006 9:19:50 PM
I have also used the excuse of "you're too (fill in the blank here)" (used: short, tall, loud, etc.) Now I seem to have a reputation of being a very picky person...
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