| What does "too old" really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:31:15 AM | I am a man in my 60's and find I am attracted to women in their 40's. I'm in good health, not overweight, don't look "old", yet I find many women find me "too old". Would someone explain what that means? Are you afraid I'm no longer sexually active? Not true. Are you concerned I will die soon? Statistically I'll be around at least another 20-25 years. Concerned we won't have much in common? I have found I have much more in common with women in your age group then with any other group. Concerned I won't have patience around children? To the contrary. I have a higher patience level than most women I know. Then what is it? Please be honest and tell me why a man 20 years older than you who very well may have the same values and interests as you may be "too old". Are there any women looking for an older man?
Some people just are not attracted to others, regardless of age, and I accept and understand that. But it's that "too old" answer that has me puzzled. Looking forward to your reply. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:46:35 AM | Perhaps for the same reason a 40 year old man is "too old" in some people's minds to date a 20 year old woman -- you're old enough to be your partner's parent and a lot of folks find that off-putting.
Just curious, why do you focus on 40something women and not on those women who are your own age (60s) or even in their 50s? Are they "too old" for you? Things to consider... | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:50:27 AM | You should post a picture it would be easier for us to advise you!
The general rule is 10 years older and 10 years younger.
I'll tell you that I generally have a lot more fun with younger men then older men.
Older men seem to be set in their ways.......... not as spontaneous.... something just kind of missing.... I can't put my finger on it...
I've gone out with men from 30-49
So I don't know that they are considering that you're going to die soon....
It all has to do with personality.... chemistry.............If it's there... it's there....
If it's not it's not! | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:00:36 AM | I gotta agree, if you are old enough to be someone's parent then it's too old.
You come from way different generations. How would you have much in common?
I bet you aren't into hard rock but more into Sinatra?
I can see 10 yrs either way...maybe even 15 at a pinch but 20? | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:08:10 AM | it would be like going out with one of my dad's friends. if you are old enough to have fathered me, no thanks.
alicia | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:15:17 AM | | I think it's very rare that two people twenty something years apart in age will have much of anything in common. That's two different generations. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:30:05 AM | Why do I focus on 40something women and not on those women who are my own age (60s) or even in their 50s? Are they "too old" for me?
Good question. I said I relate best to women in their 40's not that I discount women older than me. It just goes back to that chemistry thing. If your not attracted to someone, you're not attracted, regardless of age. That was the point of my original question. I never discount ayone simply on the basis of age. It's just that I am generally attracted to more women who are in their 40's. It just works out that way. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:48:03 AM | | It all has to do with preference, you have your preference and they have theirs. You may find a woman in her 40's that would date you but you have really narrowed you dating pool. I know plenty of women in their 50's and 60's who don't look it nor act it. Maybe you need to change your views a little bit too. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 9:50:19 AM | Why do I focus on 40something women and not on those women who are my own age (60s) or even in their 50s? Are they "too old" for me?
Good question. I said I relate best to women in their 40's not that I discount women older than me. It just goes back to that chemistry thing. If your not attracted to someone, you're not attracted, regardless of age. That was the point of my original question. I never discount ayone simply on the basis of age. It's just that I am generally attracted to more women who are in their 40's. It just works out that way.
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yourgirl message#2 asked you a good question, yet you still have not answered it yet. What is it with the women closer to your own age ... say 10 years younger or near your own age that turn you off? Are you worried they are not sexually active at those ages? Explain what it is in detail ... Specifically... Give examples ...DEFINE CHEMISTRY...Is it impossible for you to get that chemistry with a woman closer to your own age? Does your definition of CHEMISTRY end at sex? and after the sex..what the heck are you going to talk about??? what could you possibly have in common with a girl from the sixties? Is she going to dig your forties swing bands and jitterbug with you? LOL
message#8 good advice.. LOL
Check it out ... We women are UP on that term Chemistry. We know what you men are thinking when you use that word. It means something a whole lot more to us, however. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 10:22:05 AM |
Not if we had little in common and there was no chemistry.
eggs-actly. You have answered your own question.
Sure I can look at a guy who is in his 20's and think...ohh he's yummy but really its just
eye candy. I know we would have no chemistry because it's based on more than looks. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:18:20 AM | I read the stats on this sort of thing recently. Apparently 60 percent of youger woman are put off my much older men. 20 percent are intrigued by the idea, and 20 percent are all in favour.
So, if an older guy, comes accross serious rejection, it's likely, he just hasn't found the right one.
But, yes society is very much against it, and it mostly comes down to jealosy, plain and simple!
Now, I don't exactly know how this works at the upper end (sorry for that term) of the age spectrum!
I personally have always been jealous, knowing that if I break up with a woman, she could, if she wanted be with someone else before the day is out. I on the other hand, might be single, for a while. Woman, do the choosing! So, I can seek some comfort, knowing, that at least men seem to have time, a little more on their side. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 11:23:58 AM | Ooops
Maybe I shouldn't have spoken up, on this forum. Sorry! I guess I have to take whatever punishment is coming! Boy, am I dumb! | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 4:08:30 PM | too old can mean many things...
to many people
to someone 20... it can mean someone over 30
to someone 30 it can mean someone over 40
to someone over 40 it can mean someone over 50
to someone 50 it can mean someone over 60
and so on and so on.
for me.. 50 is TOO OLD FOR ME...
actually 45 is kinda cutting it close...
lol
40-44 is just about right
I have not seen any men over 50 I would want to date
or kiss...
guess as your eyes go with old age... you are
both blessed in a way... as to not be able to clearly see
some things ! as also not to be able to see yourself
as you age.
I have found older guys never seem to see themselves as they are...
but keep an ideal of themselves from a previous life ( like age 21)
of how they look...
Have had some 55- 60 year old men hit on me and I think
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING !!!
not to be rude, but thats just crazy !
lol | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:08:18 PM | I have not seen any men over 50 I would want to date
or kiss...
guess as your eyes go with old age... you are
both blessed in a way... as to not be able to clearly see
some things ! as also not to be able to see yourself
as you age.
I have found older guys never seem to see themselves as they are...
but keep an ideal of themselves from a previous life ( like age 21)
of how they look...
Have had some 55- 60 year old men hit on me and I think
YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING !!!
not to be rude, but thats just crazy !
That about sums it up for me as well. I have never met someone in that age group that I would say...damn I would love to get them into bed. And it's not about chemistry but the fact that I'm just not attracted. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:36:42 PM | My Ex was only four years younger than me and those four years made a world of difference in what we could realte too. What music we liked, what TV shows we knew, what cartoons we liked as kids etc. I can only imagine what a 20 year difference would make.
I think its time for a big dose of reality. The dating pool for single people is shallow enough as it is without eliminating the majority of people that would be interested in you. I think you efforts would be best put towards women no more than 10 years younger. I am sure there are wonderful women in your age range. As staed several times in this thread, most women do not want to date someone that could potentially be their Fathers age. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:37:06 PM | Age is relative! I have dated men 14 years older and 8 years younger. I believe it's a case by case scenario. It's more about the person than the age. Keep on fishing, I believe she's out there for you! Just keep a healthy, positive attitude and you can't go wrong!
All smiles,
Abe | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:13:48 PM | Well, let's see - first of all most women in their 40's probably think of a man in his 60's as closer to their father's age and that would be a turn-off. Unfortunately, that's sad for you if you're stuck on looking for someone so much younger. A lady in her 50's would be more likely interested in someone your age. Hey, not all of us 50+ gal's are bad looking...some of us could pass for 40's still. :)
I read your profile and looked at your pic. You don't look 65 and your profile reads well. You might add what some of your interests are - fine dining, dancing, cuddling, hand-laced walks, biking, whatever - we women like to know that you enjoy DOING things and that you're somewhat active.
As for sexual activity - that important to all of us but I don't think we worry too much about that - there are great drugs on the market now that can help in that area if the need is there. And if you don't need the help - that's great.
My question for you is - why would you want a woman in her 40's who still has to go through memopause, finish raising children, etc.? Personally, I'm glad to be through all of those stages and I'm enjoying the "freedom" of being in my 50's. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:29:30 PM | Too old for me, means someone who is 10+ years.
Just be happy that there is "too young" also. Too young for me, is anyone younger than me. I could just possibly maybe do the same age thing, but Younger? No way.
It's just a variable that people make after they have gone through life, seen people, and come to a realisation of what works for them.
For me, no I'm not concerned that someone more than 10 years older than me is not going to be able to perform in the sack, lol, it's just that once there is that much of an age difference, I'm no longer attracted.
Saw Antonio Banderas in new movie last night - too old. Used to drool over him. He's now got age spots on his hands and a bit of throat wattle - he's still gorgeous, if I was closer to his age I wouldn't give a damn, would have my own probs to contend with... but nope.
As you get older also, you gotta consider things like what happens when you DO get older. The nursing home beckons... who wants to be young and virile and not have their partner the same.
I think a better question for you is, if you are 60, why aren't you attracted to 60yr old women??? | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 5:47:04 AM | | Well, in my humble opinion, I do believe this is not only the best answer to this age old, (pardon the pun, couldn't resist), and many times asked question. I'd even say it is very close to perfect. | |
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| What does too old really mean?
Posted: 7/8/2006 6:36:46 AM | | I agree with Abe, it isn't the age that matters, it is the person. I have dated men my own age who act like they are 17 and men that are 10+ years older than me, who were worldly, gracious and kind. I do tend to go towards older men, because there is nothing better than a mature man who is sure and comfortable with himself. However, if I meet someone 10 years younger than myself and we were compatable, I would not rule him out soley based on his age. | |
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