| | Is it still expected that men pay for everythingPage 1 of 9 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9) | | Im kind of an old fashioned guy when I go on a date. I still believe that the man should pay for the date. I naturally always offer to pay. What I have found in my experience is that women over 40 seem to expect the guy to pay where younger women I have dated always seem to offer to pay. Does anyone else find this to be true? I make a good living and feel good when I pay but I think some women may find this insulting | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:52:39 PM | | I to have found women find it insulting when I offer to pay. This can be a huge debate. It all comes down to one word "CHIVALRY"! Not many really know what it means anymore. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:54:10 PM | everything and paying for dates are two different things
I am over 40 and men pay for dates.
thats just how it is.
You should discuss this before meeting... to avoid problems if you feel there are going to be some.
I really have had no problems with this except for the exceptional guy
and its not about paying his share !
lol | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:54:48 PM | Nope. I don't expect any man to pay for me. That would just be too awkward for me.
Edit: Just realized...I'm not over 40.
Anyway OP....why don't you make a rule in your profile then. Just state that you will only date women who will let you pay for them.
~*Flavia*~ | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 5:56:57 PM | I see it like this...I ask, I pay. If he asks, he pays.
I'm 45, and I've yet to go out on a date in which the fella even hinted at expecting me to pay for anything at all. They did, however, expect me to give up my kitty for a lil dinner.  | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:02:40 PM | just what are you considering a date?
I went on a date to a resturant... had dinner.. usually under 10 dollars...
and maybe an iced tea or glass of wine.
Where are you going ? to Paris France or something?
and ordering food from Italy?
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:07:36 PM |
I'm 45, and I've yet to go out on a date in which the fella even hinted at expecting me to pay for anything at all. They did, however, expect me to give up my kitty for a lil dinner.
Lil kitty is always for dessert  | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:09:24 PM | I'm the same as Funny Girl...
I ask I pay... he asks he pays...
That way, if I ask I can make the choices, and make sure I'm within my means and the same goes for him. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:09:53 PM | If its someone you are meeting online, be better to clarify it before you even meet.
Unfortunately the feminist movement has screwed this simple situation all up on purpose. They want to create conflict between the two of you ( I mean thats the goal of the movement, to show the ultimate disposability of men in general ) So all the magazines and talk shows says a 'real woman' should pay for herself.
I think from online, guys should pay for the first date but make it clear before you go that the guy will pay. What happens after that is up in the air. While I think the girl should choose the general location of the meet ( for her safety, which is fine) I think the guy should choose where they go within that location. (i.e. he pays, he chooses under what ranges he will have to pay) I think women should at least offer anyway as a gesture on the first date to show shes not taking the situation for granted. To me the gesture is worth as much as money you will spend on dinner.
The issue to me is about getting to know one another first and foremost. If someone flips out because you held open a door for them, I'd just drive them home right there and drop them off.
Men should do certain things - open doors, pull out seats, let the woman order first, walk a lady to her door, offer a jacket if shes cold - not because he thinks shes weak or women are weak, but because its about having respect for others and respect for yourself. If a woman sees it as a gender war to start, then why is she on a date in the first place? Take her home. She can watch Xena Warrior Princess reruns by herself if she really feels that way. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:16:16 PM | | You need to buy me at least two dinners before you get kitty.......lol...You ask me on a date......you pay...simple as that....have never been on a date where that was even questioned. | |
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arri
| | Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 6:25:29 PM | If you are in a relationship and dating regularly, put the income difference into consideration and into account when going out to have fun regularly. I prefer the reciprocation method instead of splitting bills. This has never been an issue for me and have never been in a relationship that didn't work this way. I usually let her pay for some and if she made more money .. a lot more than some ... but on a special night, the man always pays.
On a first date, I prefer to pay because if she pays, I feel uncomfortable .. I feel that I have to reciprocate whether or not, I want to see her again. Hence feel really bad if I don't call and ask her out. It has happened a couple of times. Unless she was the date from hell, then I wont feel bad.
If the date is going well, I try to instigate a situation that there is another bill of lesser value available. Like, going someplace else for a nightcap or coffee after dinner and give her an opportunity to reach ... if she doesn't I'd be a little disappointed and would think seriously about asking her out again.
However, if you keep asking her out and paying, I don't feel bad for you. You are doing the asking pal. Stop if this arrangement doesn't work for you. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:03:46 PM | | I personally love when the guy pays, but I always make sure that I at least offer twice before letting him do it. I'm like I'll pay, guy says no, I say are you sure, guy says yes I'm sure and we leave it at that. If you have been in a relationship for a while, you should go halves. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 7:04:10 PM | MrGordonGecko------> Unfortunately the feminist movement has screwed this simple situation all up on purpose. They want to create conflict between the two of you ( I mean thats the goal of the movement, to show the ultimate disposability of men in general ) So all the magazines and talk shows says a 'real woman' should pay for herself.
The feminist movement wanted equality...radical feminists are the man haters that say real women should pay for themselves and thankfully most of them are lesbian and won't ask you out any way so don't worry..lol. Men are NOT disposable nor do I want them to be. I love the men....
When it comes to paying, I always offer and I always try to clarify before hand as to who is going to pay.
Generally speaking it may depend on the situation...who asks who etc. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/7/2006 8:11:00 PM | | First few dates...whom ever asks, pays. After that, either split the bill or alternate. I ALWAYS offer to pay my own way, or pay for drinks even though most of the men I've dated wouldn't dream of letting me. I think it's sweet, but I don't expect them to pay and I appreciate chivalrous gestures such as pulling out my chair and opening doors, etc... I love a man with good manners! Of course, I have good manners as well | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:55:28 PM | Its so cool to hear that the man wouldnt mind paying for everything. But then to, I wouldnt want to take advantage of you either right? Woman believe in equal rights, being treated in the work area, at the gym and so on, and so on, but the one thing that they fail to realize is that we have to earn our respect, not only receiving but also giving. I dont believe that the guy has to pay for everything, cuz what if the guy had money saved up to go on a date, and something happened all of a sudden and he needed that money for something else, what should he do? cancel the date? tell the woman that something happened and they cant go out? If it were me and u and I were going on our first date, we would probably go for a stroll in the park getting to know each other, and then go and grab a quick bite to eat, and then maybe go see a movie or go dancing, and if I had to pay for it all, it would be okay.     | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:58:51 PM | | The way I believe it the guy doesnt have to pay for everything. Some woman expect it, maybe thats why they are still alone. In any relationship, there has to be give and take. | |
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sddude
| | Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 21 | |
| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:19:40 PM | | I have to pay , never let a woman pay because if I let them word will go around that I am a cheapskate . Most women want to feel cherished and protected , even from the beggining , having them pay kills , that , many of my female friends have told me this when giving me tips on dating since I am a idiot at even getting a date. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:28:48 PM | | I prefer to pay for myself, just my own comfort thing. But if I wanted to do something with someone I had spent some time with, and I ask him, I would fully expect to pay for both of us. In a relationship, it becomes more of a reciprocal thing. One time he pays, next time I do, sometimes we share the cost. But first meets, I come prepared to pay for myself. | |
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ksue44
| | Joined: 6/20/2005
Msg: 23 | |
| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:51:52 PM | I don't expect a man to pay for EVERYTHING... The first couple of dates, especially if he is the one to ask me out, yeah, I guess I'm a prude but I do prefer he pick up the tab... Should the relationship progress, I don't mind picking up the tab.
Remember, not EVERY single date has to cost $$... There are so many things out there that folks can do that don't cost $$. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:58:26 PM |
I have to pay , never let a woman pay because if I let them word will go around that I am a cheapskate . Most women want to feel cherished and protected , even from the beggining , having them pay kills , that , many of my female friends have told me this when giving me tips on dating since I am a idiot at even getting a date.
Wow! A sucker is born every day. Women love men like you...to keep as an instabank while they get porked by the latino pool boy. | |
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| Is it still expected that men pay for everything
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:59:37 PM | | I was brought up to pay for the date...I dunno, maybe I had old fashioned parents. I'm kind of giving way a little...if she offers to pay, then I'll usually tell her I'll grab dinner if she pays the tip. I've got no problem paying for the whole date though. It just depends if she's going to make an issue out of paying her way. | |
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