| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/8/2006 11:47:58 PM | I guess this is more a rant. I just dont understand what has happened to the world in general as a society. No more faithfulness. No more undconditonal love, and the willingness to do anything to please your partner and make a realtionship work. What ever happened to promises being real. Forever being ment. Why is the world so engorged with lies, and deceit? False promises, and people who run everytime things get a little rough?
Where did the unconditonal love go, did we kill it along with christ? Are there no more real people around? ~sighs~ Anyone have any thoughts on the subject? | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:09:09 AM | It sounds like you are a little under the weather (depression) with the rant, with lots of absolute statements.
Most people are still faithful, unconditional love has it's limitations for eg one shouldn't do anything to please their partners if it goes against their morals or it degrades them and who they are in some way for the sake of the other person. A person can't really promise to be real. They can promise to be themselves and if they turn out to be a bad apple then they are being themselves a bad apple. Most of the world is engorged with love and trust and if it wasn't that way civilization would have ended millions of years ago.
Life is good for most people in the world with money or poor LOVE keeps us going, if not at least looking for love.
If you look for the negative in the world and in people you will find it.
If you look for the positive in the world and in people you will find it.
Use your energy, time and life looking for the positive. It is the same amount of time you use either way, use it wisely. | |
|
| |
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:41:56 AM | Undconditonal love??
Most view this as the type of love they feel/have for their children.
People only accept so much in/of another person in a relationship/life. If you do something to cross a line in your mates world, that's usually the reason they use to end a relationship.
You don't have to "agree" with their reason/s & choice/s, you only have to accept it and move on.
Take personal responsibility for your own actions, and forget the rest.
You haven't given much info to go one here but,
if she left just because things were not exactly as she though/felt they would be,
that's shallow, immature, and not so good on her part,
but,
if she left because you did something to cross a line she clearly drew in the sand for you,
that's your own fault, and you need to put your big boy pants on, and deal with it!  | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:10:26 AM | Unconditional love?
Between you and your kids probably. Between you and your siblings maybe. Between you and your spouse not very likely. Maybe if people lived longer things would be different, but life is short, you just rarely have the time to be together for unconditional love. I think time is a factor.
Lets say two people get married at 25 to the ideal person after college and few years of working. You gotta work. So you see them maybe 3-4 hours a day on the weekdays. If you are busy, maybe 4 hours each day on the weekend. 28 hours. Lets say out of that time, if you've got kids, you get a true hour of quality time during the week. I mean true pure quality time. 52 hours a year. Thats about 2 full days. One of you dies at 60, thats 70+ full days of true pure quality time in your marriage, assuming you both stayed together to til one of you died. 2-3 months of pure quality time for a lifetime. Unconditional love? For some, who are lucky, sure it happens. The rest of us? The math doesn't add up for it. You spend more time sleeping than you will with your spouse. You'll spend more quality time with a coworker per week than your spouse.
Life is way too short, thats why unconditional love is near impossible. | |
|
vivid
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 8 | |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:10:40 AM | I'm in a shity mood and so this is the best time to let loose
Reading some of the threads today I found there are too many bottom dwellers
around. Just lie after lie and half-truths. I'll tell you one thing, of all of the people
I care for, there's only one person that I trust with my life and that's my gf.
I suck too.....I made a few mistakes along the way - being deceitful and I promise
myself from this moment I don't want to be a bottom dweller anymore. I don't
want to be like those people and maybe I figured because I'm better looking
than most of them that I was somehow better than them, but I am as ugly as them. That's it, I'm finished with the bs. | |
|
jasun
|
Joined: 7/5/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:12:05 AM | I know exactly how you feel. I spent the last 8 years with a woman. And when it suddenly ended i went back and thought and thought. Where was the love? How could it just be over? How could she leave after all we have been through?? Then i realized one day that the love doesn't go away. It will always be there in some form or another but it was time to move on. The only unconditional love you will find will be from your mother or children. Love from everyone else will always have a stipulation on it....and that stipulation has to deal with the other person's happiness and well-being. If someone is unhappy with the situation then why would they stay in it and be miserable?? So be depressed...it is natural and healthy..but the feeling will go away one day and the sun will shine again...sounds pretty dumb but thats the way love goes. Cheers and good luck...you will find what you are looking for...
 | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:03:04 AM | I'm sorry that you're apparently having a bad day ... I hope things will get better for you.
Morals ... ethics … principles … morality .......
It can be hard to find ... doesn't matter how old you are or what era you are living in. It does not belong to any one generation and no matter ... we have all had to deal with it one way or another. I might add that it has nothing to do with religious background. I am not religious and all of my friends consider me to be a very moral person.
Unconditional (unrestricted … unreserved … absolute … total) Love (devotion … affection … care for).
I have seen some posts in here that would imply it is a love that only belongs to children given by their parents ... or a sibling ... in general, a family member. I do not believe that to be entirely the case.
Some people never experience it ... not even from their parents or siblings and other family members. Some of us do experience it with our partners. It's rare and I believe it is rare because many honestly do not understand the true meaning of it.
As I live it ... I cannot put it into words as a definition. I give it daily in my work ... I'm a nurse. I visit folks in their homes who live for the contact I provide them ... some live because I provide them with care. No matter what the situation I walk into, my ability to accept them as they are ...
... cranky, sleepy, needy, in need of a change of depends, in need of an emergency squad, happy, drained (by the effects their illness is rendering on them) ...
... is not something I find I have to force myself to do ... I just feel it and it gives my life meaning. I know it's not something another can force upon us ... either we feel it or we don't.
I'm so lucky to be able to do that. I take that same ability into my encounters with my parnters. Perhaps that's why I have always been able to remain such good friends with any man I have ever been in a relationship with.
If a relationship breaks up, it's a mutual understanding and there is no question that we still care very deeply for one another ... it just has not worked out for the best for both of us.
When unconditional love is in the relationship that does not mean that you do not get irritated by your partner and just want to walk out the door. It means that although you are irritated with your partner, you do not walk out the door ... you stay. If there has been some sort of misbehavior ... there is usually a good reason for it and together you discover what that is ... trying hard not to be judgmental.
Sometimes you discover that no matter how accepting you are of the one you love, their behavior just exceeds your comfort zone ... making it impossible to stay. It still doesn't mean that you don't love that person ... you just are very unhappy with their behavior and it has reached a level of intolerance for you. We are all entitled to that.
I have found that in unconditional love ... the tolerance levels for misbehavior are much higher, and so we have a tendency to overlook some very bad behavior before we reach a level that in fact exceeds our comfort zone.
I hope that has cleared up some of your pondering about it.
 | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:12:32 AM | I'm begining to think the world has become a recycle bin of broken hearts and dreams. I think we live in a dispossable society/ world and belive me when I say I am truly an optomist. I was with my X wife 15 years and I at least was unconditionally in Love with her. If she went Blind I would have been her eyes, if she lost her legs I would have carried her . I was in for good but times and people change and thats just reality. We grew apart and basically just existed rather than lived and I actually pat her on the back for not accepting the way things became but I also believe things can be fixed if your willing to try as a team. Thats water under the bridge and I have moved on and healed but she will always have an unconditional piece of my heart. We have 2 great kids together and they live/ lived (21yr old moved out) with me so I understand that side of unconditional as well.
Look at a high % of the profiles on here and many want to find their soulmates.Honestly how can you not unconditionally love a soulmate . Most of us at some point believed in forever and all that goes with it and just because it didn't work the first second or third times doesn't mean its not possible. I for one was blessed to have been to the mountain and regardless how hard falling off was I plan on unconditionally climbing back up with the right person beside me.
Ask yourself Would good ole grandma and granpa said the heck with it I'm just not happy?
Don't give up till you get what you want and trust me you'll have no doubts when you find it. | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 3:05:48 AM | | If a person wants unconditional love get a pet, if you want honesty be true to your self cause thats about all you can depend on now days, I use to think if you were good, decent, honest you got it back but it dont work that way, I think the worlds men and women have delt with it so much nowdays thats its more common to lie and be dishonest when it comes to relationships out there that its the norm to be dishonest and strange to be the real thing | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 3:09:54 AM | Nothing happened.
Nothing ever will.
It takes TRUE PASSION to wake up the eternity.
It takes TRUE CURIOSITY to wake up the mind.
It takes TRUE DEDICATION to wake up the trust.
Nothing is EASIER, nothing is DIFFERENT.
People just SIMPLIFIED the views. | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 3:52:05 AM | I think Cotter has a good point. What do you mean by morals and unconditional love? Morals are NOT the same for everyone. People from different cultures, religions and heck even denomitions of the same religion hold themselves to different codes of ethics and morals. They may not be doing what you expect or want them to do but it doesnt have to mean they are immoral.
What do you mean by UNCONDITIONAL love? That someone should love you if you scream at them for hours, physically abuse them, mentally abuse them? Kids will! I am sad to say.
Using your comments...If you had unconditional love shouldn't you be able to accept another persons limitations and actions. Look I know this is the extreme side of the picture and I am playing devils advocate here. But the point I want to make is to be sure you are clear about what you expect from someone else and that the person you are with can deliver. Make sure you can live to the same standard you hold others to.
good luck | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:35:26 AM | Man dude you need to take a breath and run with another crowd...
Hell just simply run 
Put it this way man...
You "got it" now find someone else who does and
DON"T settle for anything less!!
I know far too many couples who have settled with what they have
not what they could have... I won't just settle I want it all and
will search the four corners if need be...
Twice even
HEY!! This would be my second time around LMAO...
Can we find "IT" more then once? Of this I am very sure...
Morals...
Too wide a brush stroke there bro...
The moral fiber of a relationship sure I could go there...
Unconditional love to me is giving myself totally with no strings attached...
Simply loving my significant other for what she was, is and will be...
When returned there is no better feeling 
Have a nice day  | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:45:55 AM | Man if a person wasnt depressed, this would surely do the trick. When I say unconditonal love, let me describe it like this.
A couple of years ago I sounded like most of the people on this board. No one was going to change me, if they loved me, they would accept me as is. Love had its limits. There is only so far you can push a person. I had my own limits, things I just wouldnt stand for, or I would leave a relationship. I had no plans to ever get married or anything like that. I figured most relationships wouldnt last becaue love fades and people grow apart.
A year ago I started dating a girl that changed everything I have ever thought about love. There isnt a thing in this world I can think of I would have done for her, and did things for her I never would do for other people, and was even asked. I found that love changes you, and your limits expand to the point of almost non exisistence. I did things for this woman, I would never have considered doing for anyone. I didnt always want to do it, but it was a comprimise. We never asked each other to do things we didnt want, but we did. My greatest pleasure was pleasing her. I would try something, I might not do it again, but I was willing to try anything for her, and alot of times, just her loving it and being pleased allowed me to love it as well. So it wasnt a matter her changing me or asking me to. It was me wanting to change for her, because I loved her. I would have done anything, or given up anything to be with this girl, the only exception my daughter. I would of course never do anything to hurt her, or harm her in anyway.
Before I knew it I was engaged, getting ready for her to move in, and feeling things I would have never imagined were possible. I even quit the band I was in, because it bothered her. needless to say just out of the blue one day she leaves. no reason. I wont get into a big long story about everything. There was no mistake or anything made. I didnt cheat on her, or beat her, or anything like that. Quite to the contrary I treated her better then I even knew I was capable of doing.
So when I say unconditonal love, lets say, loving someone so much you can forgive anything, your pleasure comes from doing anything you can to make them happy or just to smile. Hopefully this makes sense. | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:38:52 AM | Unconditional love, faithfulness and working at relationships isn't lost in the world today, but I do feel that society has changed which makes acts of selfishness a little more acceptable.
Far too many people look at a small portion of something and focus on that so hard, the larger picture is lost. Showing kindnesses to strangers is considered careless, telling someone you love them is considered weakness... We now live in a self-help world where people are constantly told not to settle... expectations in others are far higher than the expectations in ourselves. Morals and ideals are compromised as they are not of popular opinion.
I am a firm believer in showing someone I care, and consideration for others goes a long way in making the world a better place to live. I cannot control the actions or the reactions of others, but for myself, I still believe that one's word is the only thing that matters when we reach our twilight years and look back on how we've lived and loved.
Rather than looking at how the rest of the world lives, isn't it more productive to make our own worlds better by living by our own standards?
JMO | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:55:47 AM | when you love someone..it should be without convictions and pride.
you love them because it is the only way you know how to feel about them. This can happen with anyone in your life actually..
the thing I have discovered is.......if you dont feel this sense that you will love this person no matter what...that you will go to bat with them with no questions asked..
then you dont really love them.
I think people get confused with "wanting to be in love"..and "actually being in love".
Love is forever!!...and though you may not be with this person....you will love them until you no longer exsist. | |
|
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:59:43 AM | Uhm...not to attack, but if you really believe that "just out of the blue one day she leaves. no reason..." then you had no idea what was going on. Just because you say you felt unconditional love for her, it doesn't mean that she felt it for you. Obviously, probably she did not. You should have known that. Then you might be sad and frustrated, but not so surprised.
You wrote that "We never asked each other to do things we didnt want," but then say that (essentially) she asked you to quit your band. Just because she asked you to do so doesn't mean she didn't love you, and just because you did quit, it doesn't mean that you did love her. I suspect that you two played out that scenario over and over. Her asking you for something that you didn't want to do and you doing it in the belief that it showed how much you loved her. I could be wrong, of course. I'm just speaking from personal experience (unfortunately).
You should never confuse "giving" with "giving in."
You also say that "loving someone so much you can forgive anything." Doesn't sound like you've forgiven. That may take time, but if you can't forgive her , then was it really unconditional love? | |
|
| |
| What happened to Morals, and true unconditonal love?
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:16:15 AM | | I agree. Where have all the good people values gone? Its a buffet out there. People seem to jump from one to the other without consideration. Sex is now recreational instead of a loving act. People tell you what they think you want to hear when in fact that is not them at all. I have found this game over and over and its disgusting. I don't want to be with a man that has had lots of lovers, lied his way into dating someone or forgot the general upbringing of good manners such as please and thank you. I'm not saying it doesn't exist, but its rare these days to find that someone. I concur that people run at the first sign of trouble. Whatever happened to working on it? Unless there is some form of abuse or unfaithfulness shouldn't we at least try? People don't do that because there is always another person right around the corner. More and more people believe in "lust" rather than love these days. But I know there are still good people out there that believe as i do and i will be alone until i find that person. | |
|
Home
login 
