| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:24:31 AM | | If your not seriously dating one person, but seeing a couple people, getting to know them, is it wrong to have sex with one of them, and not tell the other if your not having sex with him? And if things progress with person number 2, when should you cut off one of them? | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:38:13 AM | Depnds on the person but to me you don't need to have sex to get to know someone. You can kiss, you can fondle to see about chemistry but sex without telling the other persons is a no no to many people.
Unless you tell the other people the game rules you are playing by it is unfair. Ask them what they think about what you want to do first. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:43:53 AM | | Considering the fact that when you sleep with a person, you are sleeping with their past sexual partners and might be recieving any std's they might have knowing or unknowingly passed onto you, I vote very wrong. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:54:51 AM | | let me date you and 3 or 4 other women and also i am sleeping with them. now are you wanting to still date me? | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 12:57:16 AM | | I couldn't date one woman, and then have sex with another. I feel like I'm cheating. I'd just as soon wait and have one mutually exclusive relationship. Even if I were to date a couple of women, and there was nothing serious going on, it'd feel weird to me. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:03:20 AM | Tough call.. Does the one your seeing do the same..
You don't know unless he tells you... So if you were going to do that
he would have to NOT know about it..
Now here is another question.. You are dating 3 or 4.. Does he know you are
dating others apart from himself.. I bet not.. If he did, he would drop you
like a hot cake.. So why put yourself in this situation to start with..
Very hard decisions require alot of resolve.. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 7 | |
| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 1:50:23 AM | Well if things progress with #2, you should definitely tell him you are sleeping with someone else, I think he would have the right to know. He may be sleeping with others as well. At that point, you either decide to make a commitment to see only each other or agree that it is still too early and you both should continue dating others.
I personally would only be involved with one person - the one I chose to sleep with. To me, there would seem to be a relationship in the works and I would have cut the other one loose at that point. I don't play the one upsmanship game.... | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:39:58 AM | A situation doesn't change becuase you define it with different names or is sorrounded for
differentes circumstances. Sex is a wide range of erotical activities, not only penetration. Is
just one example.
Your answer depend of your concept of the relationship itself and, as long you don't set your
values and principles everything that you have will be someone else opinion.
"not seriously dating..." it's mean you are a player?
"seen a couple of people..." it's mean dating one and hang out w/other?
"having sex w/one of then..." it's mean casual sex or FWB only?
I assume that you don't live w/anyone of them. It's mean you don't have a relationship?
If I dont' have sex yet, just the intention and looking for that, am I cheater?
For sure I can tell you if you are seeing more than one person and the rest don't know about
it, you are not beeing honest. Let them to decide if to stay or walk away. | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 2:44:36 AM | If you feel you need to 'hide' that information from them then you have your answer.
You probably realize that you're putting them at risk.
Besides, is it a good idea to withhold your true nature? Sounds like weak foundation
to build on. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 3:45:54 AM | You may need to ask yourself what do you raelly want from the relationships. To commit usually will require being with only one person for everything. It feels SO limiting though. I want to experience everything that each person has to offer including sex, but it has been very difficult finding many people that will accept sharing, especially sexual contact. I suggest talking to each guy about multiple partnering and try to find thier true feelings. Don't come right out and tell that you're active with more than one. Most do not like to share. Sex tends to be special part of the relationship. Sharing is looked at as being less committed to the individual. I've very much enjoyed having many partners, but it hasn't built long lasting relationships with any of them. Please use protection from STD's. Its for all involved. Its ultimately up to you to decide what YOU want to do. Enjoy yourself to the fullest in what ever you might do, but be considerate of others feelings. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 4:05:33 AM | | I agree with J.R. there, most of us boys don't like to share. And those that do are lying. Boys are very competitive, and don't mind trying to outdate or out romance another guy when a girl is relatively single - I mean, dating is dating...but once sex enters the equation we kinda like to mark and defend our territory. Have you ever heard of sloppy seconds? Have you ever heard of performance anxiety? Now, not only does the other guy in you life have to worry about disease, the limit of your promiscuity, and what he's having for dinner...now he's gotta wonder who's bigger, who's better, who got you off faster, who you'll pick in the end....first sexual encounters with a new partner are already nerve-wracking and exciting enough without all the added drama, doncha think? I forget who said it a few posts ago, but whoever it was was right when they said set the rules in advance and make sure the guy knows what he's getting into. Maybe you are just a wild party girl right now, looking for a good time....nothing wrong with that, but I'd hate to be thinking I was someone special to you and then find out you screwed someone else last night! Lots of guys are cool with CSBF, but don't give anyone any false hopes, and if one guy becomes serious, then you gotta cancel the others...only fair. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 4:42:13 AM | | If I'm sleeping with someone, it's considered exclusive - I want to be with her. I would tell other female friends that I'd been dating that I'm no longer looking to pursue a relationship further than friends and that if they'd still like to see me in that capacity, I'd like to continue to be friends with them as I really enjoy their company. That's just my view - many people have the opinion that unless both parties have agreed exclusivity verbally that you can fool around with or sleep with whomever you like. For me though, the exclusivity is implied as soon as the relationship becomes of a sexual nature. | |
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| Dating More than One Person... PiEd PiPeR responce:
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:55:41 AM | Man, Girl, just stick to one Guy at a time, GEEZ... Sounds that perhaps you enjoy playing BOTH ENDS OF THE STICK, But thats my thoughts... LIL' MISS busy body.....
any how I wish the best of luck to you..
 PiEd PiPeR | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:00:59 AM | Without all the details its a hard question to answer:
I think it depends how far into the relationship your are with both and whether you have discussed being exclusive with either of them, at the end of the day sex is just sex a bodily function. If you are just casually dating both of them and nothing is serious then I dont see whats wrong with it as long as your careful about protection against STD's. At our ages we all have a past.
I think you should cut one off when you start getting serious about the other one.
I agree with what someone said though that if your questioning it then you have an idea in your own mind that it may be wrong. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:37:24 AM | | Honesty is the best policy! If ur not playing it off like ur only with one then whats wrong with letting them know ur seeing other people. Be very clear on what you want and what ur doing. dont led anyone on. The fact of the matter is it is no ones business who u are sleeping with unless the other person thinks that they are the only person u are sleeping with. You and everyone should know what the deal is if ur seeing someone and how exclusive it is. Make it clear on if ur in the dating pool or not. They should gett he idea | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:44:52 AM | | its the 21st century so casually dating two people is okay as long as you haven't led one to believe that you two are exclusive. However, having sex is much more intimate than casual dating so you should immediately break it off with the other if you cross this line. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:58:57 AM | I can't even "see" two people at the same time much less date or sleep with multiple people. I feel if I am seeing or dating someone they deserve my full attention.....How can I determine if I am really interested in building a relationship with someone if my interest is split....
I guess it depennds on what your goals for a relationship are. I am looking for a long term committed relationship...... Some are just looking for companionship or someone to hang out with. What is non-negotiable for me is sex. Sex for me belongs in a relationship and is not something I indulge in casually, but that is just me. That is one of the greatest gift you can share with someone so it is not to be shared lightly. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:09:14 AM | | I could never handle that, just me probably. I've dated more than one woman at a time in the past in a casual friendly way, getting to know you ... but once one of the relationships became sexual I'd have to break off the others. It didn't have to do with std's, just an emotional thing for me. Oh, I've had casual flings a one or two time thing but to actually date and sleep with more than one, regularly, just could never handle that. | |
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| dating more than one person
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:38:26 AM | | The only way I would "date" more than one person at a time is if there is no physical involvement with any of them... Like when I was looking on here, I would go for "dates" with different guys all the time. If anything became of the dating, then I wouldn't see anybody else. I'm a one man kind of girl. | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 2:04:57 AM | Okay, im not in a relationship with either man. With neither are we considered bf/gf. We go out on a few dates and are getting to know each other and hanging out together. I'm sure there are more people than just me who are "seeing" more than one person.
As for the sex part, i seem to be getting a double standard here. It sounds like men are looking down on me for having more than one partner, but i know MANY men, who are sleeping with more than one woman, whether it be cheating, or just multiple special friends. Why if a woman is "seeing" more than one guy its considered "dirty"?
and also to clarify, neither one has asked me if im seeing other men, and i haven't asked them if they're seeing other women. Due to work schedulings, its difficult to get together with either one of these men, so we have not reached the point of being exclusive.
Im not going out and having everyday sex with one of them and hiding it. Just sometimes stuff happens, and that is where my question lies. | |
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vivid
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Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 22 | |
| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 2:17:21 AM | you say you're not exclusive yet sex is an exclusive act. if
you don't think so then whats up with all these questions?
i think you're confused and i hate to dredge this word up but MORALITY;
Morality allows you to live your life with clarity. if you don't believe me
then let's find out if there's an alternative answer.
no morality = conflict & confusion. | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 2:23:29 AM | | not a good idea to have sex with anyone until you are reasonably sure you are committed in the relationship or married. this is how sexually transmitted diseases like syphilis, chlamydia, herpes, and others are spread around. | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:41:19 AM | | i agree.. its cool to date more than one person at a time, but once sex is involved it should just be that one person. At that point u must feel more for that person.. and u should just be with them only. | |
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| clairification
Posted: 7/10/2006 5:18:33 AM | I see nothing wrong with it. I do not equate sex to any kind of emotional committment. Never did. Now if you declare to each other that you both wish to be exclusive, then yes you stop seeing others.
I don't believe in living my life where STD is the first thought I have when I send a hello email. Some people are at such a level of paranoia about that, I don't know why they even date. Do you never fly because somewhere, one day a plane crashed? Do you never go into a tall building since 9/11? Or shy away from elevators because one fell one time and killed the people in it?
Yes, be concerned, but don't let it run (and ruin) your life. Condoms, regular blood tests...
Of course my sex days are done, but even when the little engine still could, I didn't let fear run my life. | |
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