| Why men don't date strong women... [CLOSED FOR REVIEW]
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:24:45 AM | Preface: This is just my opinion and if you have a differing one I would love to hear it both from men and women.
I have been reading many of the threads in several of the categories and a few of them have been asking the same question in different ways....why don't men date strong women? Do men like intelligent women? Are men intimidated by a smart woman? etc etc etc...So I would like to address this to the women who are asking these questions repeatedly....
Men (like women) do not like dating stupid people. We enjoy women who can have a conversation, make rational intelligent thoughts, speak what's on their mind and who have goals, dreams and ambitions. What we don't like --just as you don't like in men-- is women who always have to be right, or who discount our opinions because our opinions are not yours or simply because we are men. We like to be listened to just as you do, we like to feel needed just as you do and many of the so called strong willed independent women make it abundantly clear that they do not need a man or our opinion. How attractive is that? Many of the so called strong willed independent women have forgotten what it is like to have fun, be romantic, be romanced. They are so busy trying to prove that they are independent and smart and strong that they won't let anyone in. It is off putting just as if a man is trying to prove to you how smart or independent or strong he is. Relax a little...have some fun, let a man romance you...
just one person's opinion | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:48:26 AM | Calagary
You seep to be talking about a point that I raised on a similar board.
There's a difference between assertive women and abusive women
- abusive woment are full of s**t and sling it at everyone patiaularily bf/s
- assertive women are not full of s**t cause they take no s**t from nobody. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:54:19 AM | I think that men need to feel usefull and when women are totally self sufficient I think men feel useless and less of a man. Not a good feeling for a man.
K. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 5:57:06 AM | | Not quite sure when "strong women" became so anti-male. Just about everyone I date lives on their own and pays their bills while still having a life. That is independance. The anti-male "I am better than you" attitude gets the boot pretty quick. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:00:16 AM |
I think that men need to feel usefull and when women are totally self sufficient I think men feel useless and less of a man. Not a good feeling for a man.
It's nice to feel like we're needed. We want an independent woman that is totally capable of looking after herself but makes us feel like without us, she has no idea what she's doing. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:00:46 AM |
Many of the so called strong willed independent women have forgotten what it is like to have fun, be romantic, be romanced. They are so busy trying to prove that they are independent and smart and strong that they won't let anyone in. It is off putting just as if a man is trying to prove to you how smart or independent or strong he is. Relax a little...have some fun, let a man romance you...
I am not trying to prove anything to anyone. I am independent because I HAVE to be! I'm a single mom and I provide for my kids. I'm strong-willed most of the time. But, if I could find a man to romance me I would!!! I love the whole romance thing and I'm not afraid of it. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:04:32 AM | In my opinion.....
My profile states “if you are put off by a confident woman who speaks her mind skip this profile”, and this statement was made so there are no misunderstandings. I do not believe I am trying to prove anything to anyone but honesty is important.
Speaking for myself as a woman, I enjoy life and all that it has to offer and this includes romance, fun, laughter and being willing to take chances. Thanks for reminding us to relax….it is all about the moments because they all count.
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 6:10:40 AM | calgaryboi, that is a great post! Too bad you are not in my area or age range because from this post and your profile it sound like you have it pretty much all together. There has to be a balance between wild and sensible. Time and place for everything. heartyou:
I have had a lot of women tell me that if you treat a man nice they will walk all over you and that you have to treat them mean to get them to pay attention to you. and treat you good. I say that is a bunch of BS. When I have a bf I treat him nice but I don't act like a dumbo either.
I find a man doesn't want a woman who is sooooooo nice that she can't form her own opinion or stand up for herself. That is not being nice but being a bimbo. On the other hand a man certainly dont' want a nag who thinks she is always right and must have it her way ALL the time. I think a lot of women think when they stand up for themselves they are being mean when in fact they are just not being the dumb little woman who can't think for herself.
It makes sense in my head hope ya'll understand it: | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:15:33 PM | | I agree with you.Well said.Strong women scare away a lot of guys,because they're insecure.The days of men calling all the shots are long gone.Its about time women stopped letting men get away with everything just because they can.Equality is a good thing. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:20:07 PM | Thanks for saying it loud and clear. Now, I hope all those women read this and get it in their senseless heads. That way, there would not be so many versions of the same thread.
~*Flavia*~ | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:50:24 AM | The subject to this thread should read more accurately: Why weak men don't date strong women.
*edit*
What a stupid thing for me to say. It's not weak to be insecure, it's natural. All of us have gone through a lot of hurt in our lives and it's okay to admit that it's a little scary at times. But even insecure people can find tremendous courage within. I'm going to leave this ugly statement to show my shame. It'll be a reminder. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:09:05 AM |
We want an independent woman that is totally capable of looking after herself but makes us feel like without us, she has no idea what she's doing.
I'm quoting you so I can keep reading this over and over, in hopes that eventually, it'll make a lil sense to me.
Nah, I'll just go ahead and ask you to please elaborate? You really want us to play a lil game with your head? Kinda like this..."I really CAN change this pitiful ole flat tire all by myself, but yet...I want you to think I can't long enough to get you to do it for me, knowing all the while that we both know I really CAN??"  | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:14:49 AM | teeheehee
you IS
FUNNNNAY!
lets just HOPE
for zee sake of ~love~, all the beauty it entails
THAT: "she has no idea what she is doing"
REALLY means...
she needs me-in her HEART, feels ~lost~ when i am not near
i know
sappy joe crappy
guess me is just in a state of CONSTANT SWOON
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:17:07 AM | Very interesting thread OP and one that I have been thinking about myself as of late.
Now how do I put this delicately as to not offend the male population out there, well I will try to give it a go. I consider myself to be intelligent and well spoken and I seek the same and to many of my dates I have been told that I am a little intimidating as far as conversation goes which I find amazing because it is not like I am highly educated or speaking a foreign tongue. This speaks to me that these men are insecure with themselves and sad as it is for me to say, they are not the ones for me.
I want a man that can at least keep up with me in a decent conversation which could vary from the Italians winning the world cup to say their thoughts on what they see for their future ahead. Is this too much to ask really?
I know how to be romantic, fun loving, sociable, kind, and attentive to a man who captures my interest and I dont forget that at any moment on a date but women now of the world have more desire to find a relationship that is fulfilling and stimulating to all aspects of her personality.
Men and women want more now in the dating world........I suppouse if that person is worth it to us or grabs our attention then maybe we need to put a little more effort into trying to woo them or in a nutshell "keep their interest."
JMHO
Peace.......hopelessly romantic | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:22:55 AM | I dated a women for awhile that was very intelligent and engaging once
then I realized that she had to be in this constant state of debate to feel stimulated
after awhile that just gets weird | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 12:55:18 PM | In my opinion, a strong woman is one who stands by what she believes in, and is willing to listen to another's opinion. This does not mean she will agree with your opinion, nor should it.
I don't think that one has to agree with another in order to "not be right" or that by not having the same opinion that we are trying to be "right". I don't think that by my having a strong view of certain topics means that I am so strong or independant that I "don't need a man".
Also, a person's dreams, ambitions, and goals can only be discovered when one is inquiring about them or is asked about them. Myself in particular am a very easy going, fun loving, and relaxed individual. I love my family and friends, and anyone who gets to know me, knows who I am and what I am about, and at the end of the day that is all that matters.
If you don't want to know the answer to a certain question, or are not able to handle the response you may get to bringing up certain subjects, then in my opinion you should not go there. I don't think that because one has a strong opinion that they are trying to say that they are so independant that they don't "need" a man, or don't want to be romanced. Maybe you are misinterpreting the situation...
Just one person's opinion... | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:10:09 PM | respect goes both ways
listening to someones opinion does not mean they will take that advice
strong women who don't need a man... it is apparent by everything
in their life... often this is too much for a guy who is insecure... so he will try
to tear her down...
maybe hoping she will somehow need him.
What I liked about the man I am now dating.. was he was secure enough to
look past the independent woman part and see me as a person.
My feelings, struggles, hopes and he respected it...
I found him to not only be secure with himself... but also not someone who
assumes or reads into little things. He doesnt sweat the small stuff.
This made him very appealing to me. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:15:26 PM | | Hey I love chivalry and being romanced but at the same time I don't like a guy taking advantage of me. Either using me as a personal diary filler as and when he feels he can be bothered to fit me in etc etc. A lot of men get initimidated at the thought of their gf being on more money than them, a better education or who has interests apart from sport, cars/bikes. I don't like ppl who don't have their own opinion or agree with me on everything just to 'keep the peace'. If someone upsets or annoys me I will let them know where a lot of women will just sit there and say nothing. I think it is all about self respect and also that some guys probably don't even realise half the time when they put their foot in it. Besides communication is vital in all successful relationships whatever they may be. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 2:59:46 PM | I agree with you. I like smart women. This is a little bit different than intelligent, for me. I think you can finish 3 universities and still be stupid. And you can finish high-school and be the smartest in town. For me the smart is the ability to use your own head, to make decisions, to create something. More a world view than a science knowledge.
It is good that women have independence and that they are able to earn a meaningful living by themselves. What I think is that many of them forget that no man (or woman) is an island - a woman needs a man and a man needs a woman. It's all about complementing each other. If the woman has view that she can do everything by herself, well.. then there is no need for a man.
Happened to me some time ago. I held the door for this woman and she looked at me like I was going to rape her. Why? I don't understand - why not let men be men - most of us are nice guys who don't always have sex on our mind.
So I agree with the OP, the women really need to relax. I think the rape crimes are down, the violence in general is down (at least in Toronto). No reason to be so defensive. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:17:59 PM | ^^^Whoever said that oxymoron...he who dates strong woman are basically dating the insecure ones... I didn't quite get that one?? I am not one to argue certain points all night, but I do respect a stronge person whether it's a male or female and I am trying to raise my 13 yr old daughter to be that way also... breaking the cycle of abuse that she had to suffer, from a long line of abuse...she won't have to take that from anyone anymore.
I am proud she has choices today to make, that I didn't feel I had at one time...times change, Thank God for that, and things do get better. I am just glad the world is a better place today, for our kids to make those choices, aren't you?
Yes guitarman , be happy...!!
oh yes...edit: my own personal opinion...hah | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:28:50 PM | Not me, I need a strong woman 
One that can wrap her legs around you and go....."Uh uh, where the #$%^ do you think you are going?!?!? You aren't done till I say you are done Mr!" | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:36:42 PM | I know you are right - it's, sometimes, hard to back off, especially if you're talking to a man who is "always right"!! THANKS for the input. | |
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Jemue
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Joined: 1/26/2005
Msg: 24 | |
| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:37:40 PM |
I think that men need to feel useful and when women are totally self sufficient I think men feel useless and less of a man. Not a good feeling for a man.
Nope, its about balance if one can't be found because the woman its trying to overcompensate or always prove her strength opposed to at the right time and the right place, it basically gets offensive and boring.
Many overbearing women blame balanced guys for not being strong enough or being up to the "challenge" because they are looking for mental fight opposed to being confident enough not to have to try and prove it all the time.
I feel sorry that they grew up in an environment where they now have to take it out of the other male figures in their lives. | |
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| Why men don't date strong women...
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:45:44 PM | women have two choices, you can be a mother and a wife OR a professinal career women.
Most women these days have to have a job/career, if they are single and a mother.
to the OP, your title is "why men don't date strong women" and then go on to talk about "strong willed" women who basically run rough shod over men's opinions, discounting them and being total bi tches. Can't a woman be strong and not be a bi tch? | |
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