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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:04:51 AM | | Last week I met this wonderful girl on the beach, which was a chosen location. We spent the whole afternoon together and seemed to hit it off. She then called me and asked if we could go out on the Thursday night, she wanted a ride on my bike. I thought this was great! So I picked her up and went for a nice country ride and ended up on a patio at an Italian restaurant for dinner. The rest of the night went fine and being a gentleman I asked her if I could kiss her goodnight instead of just doing it. That was okay with her. So on Saturday I ask her over for dinner and she tells me she has met somone else and does not want to see me anymore. Talk about putting all your eggs in one basket! I guess I made the mistake of sending her a message telling her how much I liked her because she told me to leave her alone and that I was starting to scare her, I feel awful. What happened to getting to know somone. POF is like a this menu where somone thinks they can send back what they ordered because something else sounds better. I am not a scary guy, just somone who liked somebody but now I feel very vulnerable to this happening again. I am wondering how many others this has happened to? | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:17:29 AM | op
she may have just wanted to go out....
what makes you think people here are looking to date anyone seriously?
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:23:53 AM | Don't feel bad!!  You are right...POF IS like a giant buffet where you can sample a little bit of this and a little bit of that before finding the right dish! (Whoa, now I am hungry!!) Seriously though, you probably did scare her a little with your feelings so soon...I know that it would send me running in the other direction if someone expresses stronger feelings after just 2 dates!!
Don't worry...there are better choices on the seafood menu...after all, this is Plenty of fish!! LOL If at first you dont succeed....dust yourself off anf try again!!  | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:32:56 AM | rainbowfishh
When will the nasty responses ever end? Chill!
bryan123
Don't give it a second thought. Some people are not sure of what they want as this woman clearly demonsrated by her actions. Maybe you were too nice! In any event you are better-off to find out now than after wasting a whole lot of time and emotional effort.
Good luck
BTW - There are lots of people on this website interested in connecting with someone in a serious and gracious manner. Don't be discouraged... keep on fishin'.
And nottaprincess may have a point about moving too fast but your date may have been seeing someone else all along... go figure! | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:37:59 AM | my point is...
dont assume anything.
apparently.. you did.
I learned this the hard way once... met a guy with a new harley.
I dont care for bikes but I thought he was a nice guy. All he wanted to do was have
a throphy on his bike.. not a relationship.
I stopped seeing him because I wasnt interested in bike rides.
If I was.. I would buy my OWN bike.
never assume anything...
people sometimes are not as they seem. | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:40:43 AM | Now isn't that much nicer | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:46:20 AM | I think you moved too fast.
A lot of women (and maybe men too) just want to go very slowly when it comes to dating. You ask "what happened to getting to know someone", well I think you actually jumped over that yourself when you sent her the email and told her you really liked her. You were not taking the time to get to know her just as a person or friend first and I think this is what scared her.
You don't have to feel vulnerable of this happening again, just take it S-L-O-W. Don't tell someone after 2 dates that you really like them, just enjoy the moment.
Good luck | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:46:34 AM |
rainbowfishh
When will the nasty responses ever end? Chill!
Oh Gawd! It's called HUMOR...follow your own advice and take a chill pill! LOL
Nothing more to add...it is all of our preogatives to pick and choose! :) | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:50:16 AM | | Thanks dude and your absolutely right! | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:53:53 AM | It's just that I feel led on seeing she was already making plans for next week when I am on holidays. and just to let you know she persued me and said what a perfect match we were.
Ha! isn't this a game were in! | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 8:59:58 AM | there are those amoung us who need to get a grip
lol
op
why would you assume she wanted to date?
do you not ASK people what they are looking for when you meet them?
I did.
I now met someone.. but when I was meeting guys.. it was one the first things I asked them after meeting them in person.
Its not leading someone on to go on a "date" with them.
Buying a woman dinner and going on bike rides does not mean you
"are" dating them... any anything of an exclusive nature.
Just means you "have" a date with them...
nothing more or less. | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:04:38 AM | | In future, always ask rainbowfish what to do, or else afterwards you will find out what you should have done, had you only been as smart as rainbowfish. At the feet, or fins, of rainbowfish all questions are answered, for which we should be duly thankful, in this thread and the next, amen. | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:25:09 AM | | Online dating can be a scary thing as you never know for sure the type of person that you meet and if they are for real or just playing mind and head games. But then again it is the same if you meet someone other ways too. I wouldn't let one bad apple spoil things for you. My advise is to get over what happened and don't let it sour you on other people. You may meet several people before you find someone that you both click at the same time with. Your an attractive gentleman and you won't have any problems finding the right lady for you. Look at it this way it's her loss that she lost out on really getting to know a nice guy. | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:26:32 AM | ^^^^^LOL too funny @ 3rd Rate
And for someone who claims to have a man, she spends an awful lot of time on the forums! | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:38:57 AM | Hey go easy... Rainbow is 'on-call' | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:44:29 AM | | Just as necessity is the mother of invention, so assumption is the father of all screw ups. | |
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Posted: 7/9/2006 9:45:57 AM | Wow.. well, I read the thread and they made some points. But....Seemed to me you were right on in thinking you were going somewhere with her. I don't think you were out of bounds thinking you might be dating her. She did call YOU and ask for time with you on the bike and in another post you said she pursued you. I think I would be thinking we might be going somewhere too. And as far as the comment on "getting to know someone", that is what dating is for, and seems you were both doing that, especially when there were future plans made. Seems she had lots of eggs in her basket, and pitched you out when she decided on the right "egg". She might even be a player and just moved on. Who knows!
When I start going out with someone, I am upfront in seeing anyone else at the time, and want the same back. I don't want to be wasting my time either on someone who is not seriously looking, but checking out all the women they can before "deciding". But, rarely is it I have more than one egg at a time in my basket.. Wouldn't want them "scrambling." hehe
My guess is you should of asked upfront, but we don't always think to ask some things. Plus, some assume others will be honest. I know I do. (Well, once I don't see any "red flags" from the initial conversations lol) It's tough on here, and everywhere anymore, to know what is what with the other party. I have been through 4 yrs of meets, and very little dating, but I am always honest, which at times for some reason, isn't appreciated either! So, you just cant win! Just be you and hope it works out. That is what I'm doing!
I see all sorts of issues on the forums with todays dating scene. It was sooo much easier younger.. you just met.. loved.. married. lol.. Now everyone is scared to commit. Jaded, been hurt, sad.. confused..etc.
I'm just hoping I don't get too cautious in looking and "miss the boat", because of the bad experiences I have had too.
I can't imagine you "scared her" unless you were like calling and emailing her constantly, which you don't insinuate in anything you said. And again, SHE was making plans with you too. If she changed her mind, she should of said so. If she thought things were going to fast, she could have said so, and I'm sure you would of been gracious and willing to slow down some for her. I'm thinking you are better off without someone who doesn't seem to know what she is doing or what she wants, and can't communicate.
From your profile, you hardly seem scary. Don't let it stop you from putting yourself out there again. It might make you too hard and jaded. It will only make it more difficult to see the right one when she comes along! I'm trying to do the same thing, stay open to things. Best wishes Bryan,
Linda | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:19:34 PM | | Wow, you did nothing wrong. I think that your message to her was sweet. You are better off without her. Her loss. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:24:17 PM | OP,
Guess what? You've just encountered a "Player". Yes, women can be players too. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:34:47 PM | Protect yourself emotionally next time... not to the point of shutting down but be observant. Watch her body language, listen to what she says, the way she answers relationship questions and figure out your place in her grand scheme before letting yourself "fall" for someone.
Better luck with the next one. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:35:40 PM |
What happened to getting to know somone. She did. She had 2 dates with you, and got to know you well enough to decide that you weren't the one for her. She was honest about her feelings toward you and you continued to pursue her, which became annoying, if not frightening ("I was starting to scare her")
What happened to getting to know somone. Indeed. You had 2 dates with her and already decided to "put your eggs in one basket" and "telling her how much you liked her." You hardly knew her! | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:37:11 PM | | Byan its her lost im sure you will fine some one that would love to spend time with you just give it some time good luck to you. | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:39:56 PM | It sounds like the date went fine but then again we are only hearing the short version. Not to offend you but there may have been a point that she decided through the date that it wasn't going to work but because she was on your bike and obviously away from home she may not have answered or left you clues because she had to rely on you to get home. Once she got home her reactions clearly changed. Maybe something spooked her on the second date..not sure why her reaction changed so quickly.
There are bound to be more women though that are better suited to you on here, for whatever reason. | |
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rhodax
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Joined: 6/11/2009
Msg: 24 | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 12:48:12 PM | Chalk it up to the world being full of all sorts of people. Perhaps things did go well but the way your "I like you" email sounded creeped her out. I've absolutely no doubt I've creeped at least a few people out so far - doesn't make them or me bad people just different in how we see things.
Of course it might have helped if I'd known that the modern usage of "hook up" means a weeeee bit more than it did in my day.
SORRY! - you know who you are people  | |
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Posted: 6/29/2009 1:02:36 PM | I wonder if the original OP ever replies to threads that
are THREE years old?
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