| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:24:18 AM | | I met this guy from on here that I thought at first that he was a very nice guy. The first time we met he invited me meet him at a local restaurant for a drink. He paid for his and I paid for mine. He seemed like a nice guy so I gave him my cellphone number. I am the type of person that listens to what people have to say. He said he had been married twice and first time was divorced and second time he wife had died. I felt sorry for him as from what all he had to say it was obvious that he really loved his deceased wife. Later on he talked abou another ex wife so that made 2 ex wifes and 1 deceased wife. We went out a couple of times more and the more I listen to him the more I decided I didn't believe alot of what he says. He said he has done this and done that, etc.. He had been living in a motel as he said that he was just starting all over here in the Chattanooga area with a new job, etc... He was originally from here and his parents live here. He couldn't stay with his parents because of some health problems that his mom has. The last time he text messaged me about meeting we met at a public place and sat and talked. He was real excited about a new apartment he has just got and wanted me to see his apartment. I didn't feel uncomfortable with him at this point so I went to see his apartment. While there he grabbed me in the hallway and started kissing me. He was holding me against the wall and I was feeling trapped and scared when he said something about breaking in his new apartment. I got him to let me go in a nice way and got the heck out of there. The next morning when I was taking a shower I noticed that one of my arms had a bruise on it from where he was holding me with his hands. I guess I took the chicken way out and just ignored his emails and text messages after that. He kept on sending text messages for me to call him that I finally figured I needed to call him and get it over with in letting him know that I am not interested. He was extremely rude and the next day I get this email that I must have met someone else and that I just lost a good guy. Trying to be nice I sent a reply back that I wished him the best of luck and hoped he found the right lady for him. I figured that would be the end of it but he sent another text message that he was there. I don't want to change my cellphone number as I have had it a long time and my family and friends have the number. I know I can block him from emailing on here and guess I will just have to ignore the text messages until he figures out that I am not going to answer back. Sooner or later he will have to get the message............. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 10:35:49 AM | | You actually had grounds to have him charged with assault. Perhaps remind him that that is what he did to you and that violence is a deal breaker - and keep a record of his attempts at contact with you just in case you need to make a report. BE PROACTIVE AND BE SAFE! | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 11:14:15 AM | | Sounds like that was a "REAL" scary guy, I am glad you got away from him and thanks again for the kind words earlier. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 7:59:15 PM | I'm sorry that happened to you, that totally sucks!! I just wanted to tell you that you can block his number on your cell phone, and I believe it works for texting too, so he will stop bugging you. Phone harrassment is against the law, so if he keeps on, you can file charges against him to get him to stop (although I think blocking his # will probably work). To tell you the truth, I'm not too keen on this internet dating idea, but I'm bold enough to give it a try. Be careful, okay? Take care. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 8:26:55 PM | I met some scary ones too...
I think we all do.
Makes me glad I met someone... had QUITE ENUFF !!!! | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/9/2006 9:20:18 PM | | wow that is scary! u gotta be careful meeting people and going to their places. Glad u got out of there okay. i never had any scary dates.. but definatley some dates from hell Never go on a blind date with a guy named melvin. lol. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:26:40 PM | | How can you block numbers and tech messages on cell phones? A friend told me that you couldn't do that. I have verizon so if anyone knows I would definitely appreciate it. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:34:00 PM | thank god for the inter net dating sites, thats how i lost my ex wife. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:48:11 PM | | you can have him charged, with sexual assault, show them your arm and the text messages etc. | |
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iris37
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Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 10 | |
| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 9:43:16 AM | You should not have been that nice and told him his behaviour was unacceptable and that he is lucky you are not filing a complaint with the police.....men like that should know that we do not and won't accept that kind of intollerable behaviour....
I feel scared for the next woman that he comes across maybe she won't be aslucky as you. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 10:25:29 AM | How someone is on line and how they are really when you meet them are two different things their are some devious people on the net. some are real liars without consciences they care for no one. its best not to be naive, but we have all been fools with men some time or other. and have to learn from our mistakes.
I had a man contact me he said he was a american buisnessman and was building a shopping mall in africa, and we corresponded for some weeks, when he phoned me he had an african accent, i thought something was wrong then. He cottoned on and stopped corresponding,
then he contacted me some weeks later and said he had been shot by 3 men and they took all his money out of his account and he needed 500 dollars to pay his hotel bill, i told him where to get off. i will never give my phone number again until i really know someone.
I mean you can tell alot about a person from the way they talk and body language. Some people are really devious. I am normally a good judge of character. but he had me fooled for a little while. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 10:35:57 AM | "I didn't feel uncomfortable with him at this point so I went to see his apartment."
Did you plan to see a rock concert in his apartment? Or did he make killer coffee in his apartment? Or did you think you can help him clean his apartment?
You're over 40 years old, NOt a 16 year teenage.
I'd want to know his side of story before casting stone at him. | |
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iris37
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Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 11:13:34 AM | Excuse me Sinsrus but being invited to someones apartment mean I'm giving approval to be groped and molested?...what the !@#$ planet do you live on.
What you are telling me if you invite a girl back to your apartment that means you are getting the green light that she must want to make out with you,.....man have you got alot to learn 
From the oringal poste it sounded like they hadn't held hands yet why on earth would the guy read more into it than that. What happend to being a gentleman and waiting for the tells that she maybe ready for you to kiss her.
After reading your profile i can see that you would take that a clear indicator....grow and up and be a real man... | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 11:58:43 AM | As a caucasion, if you go to Iraq wearing a US flag, you're not giving approval to be kidnapped or shot. But you're sure make a good shooting target.
All she needed to do was a firm "No, stop this." Apparently he stopped. So where is the beef?
"grow and up and be a real man... "
When you find the "real" man, give me shout, I'd like to see what type of "real" man you hook up with. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 2:59:22 PM | | Sinsrus have you never been to someone's home that you thought was a friend. Or do you think that if someone comes by where you live that gives them you the green light to grab them, etc... Get real.... He was so excited about getting a new apartment and moving out of the hotel that he wanted to show it to someone. Have you never wanted to show someone something new that you got? He did not even have any furniture and was not staying there. So no I was not going to see a rock concert, have a cup of coffee or clean his apartment. I went over as a friend because he wanted to show off his new apartment as he was excited about it. I hope that if you meet someone from online that they realize that if you invited them to your home that you think that gives you the green light to grab them or anything else. How would you have felt if someone had done that to you, or your sister, or your mother or to one of your friends? I bet you wouldn't have liked it then. Would you then have automatically assumed that they was asking for it? | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 5:30:36 PM | I wrote
"Did you plan to see a rock concert in his apartment? Or did he make killer coffee in his apartment? Or did you think you can help him clean his apartment?"
TNMTNGAL wrote
"So no I was not going to see a rock concert, have a cup of coffee or clean his apartment."
I apologize. My sarcasms just lost in you. If you’re as you write, clearly the guy took advantage of your naivety.
Curse that jerk who ruined another’s girl’s image of man.
Sorry about your bad experience. Hope your next one will be much better. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:47:25 PM | | there isnt anything worst than a s s h o l d like that i cant stand anyone that would do anything like that to a woman, it makes it very hard for us nice guy to met women went there are guy out there that do this | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 7:24:27 PM | | TNMTNGAL, I have a Samsung on Sprint so it would probably be different. You should go on the Verizon website or contact a rep by phone to find out, because I am 99% sure you can. Other friends of mine have had to block people on their cells. I guess some people don't take "no" for an answer (sad). It's nice to see all the users who care (like Iris37)... take it EZ | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:27:47 PM | | Sinsrus I accept your apology. I guess maybe I am a little naive about things as I was married for over 20 years and I want to think the best about people and give them the benefit of the doubt. I realize that it was a mistake that I made. The reason I even wrote the article was that I thought that maybe my experience might help someone else from making the same mistake and them not being as lucky as I was. I am going to take the good advice that guitarchick gave me and contact verizon to see if there is a way to block calls and tech messages from him as I have received several since that happened. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/11/2006 11:11:09 PM | Really frustrating to read you were uncomfortable and yet you STILL went over to his place. Wow, I don't think I trust this guy, how about I go over to his place alone?
Um, nope, bad idea all the way around. He was wrong to grab you but I'm guessing that wasn't the first hint he gave you that he thought his tongue would like to get to know you better. Just say no works really well BEFORE you're alone with a guy. Here's hoping when your gut tells you something, next time you'll listen.
Glad you're safe, btw. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:11:24 AM | I would just change my number and email.
might be a bit of a pain but it beats having to deal with that scary guy.
and don't go over to anyones place right off the bat , that seems obvious now I know but really , just not a good plan. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/12/2006 1:06:54 AM | He wants you.
If you think that he is too much for you and that you don't want him - then, tell him so.
He will stop bothering you if you really let him know that it's a NO GO. You will have to be totally strong and upfront with him.
If you can't - then, maybe a little piece of you is interested in him.
Which is it? | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:06:22 AM | Just a few simple protocals that may help.
Meet in your place != sex.
Meet in his place != sex.
Meet in motel --> sex.
Meet in public place, then your place != sex.
Meet in public place, then his place --> sex.
Meet in public place, then motel --> SEX.
The sex in this context just mean the female agrees wtih certain level of intimacy.
The SEX in this context means sex.
Please don't give out mixed signals. Some guys don't know how to read them.
And don't kid yourself either. From my personal experience, a girl/woman if she wants to go to bed with a guy in the first few minutes they meet. If you don't see yourslef in bed with a guy, do him a favor, cut his loose. A guy don't date females unless he thinks he has a chance to be in bed with her. If you don't see that's happening, what's the point to drag him along? | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/12/2006 12:18:03 PM | | You have to protect yourself its important otherwise you can get seriously hurt if you are not careful and certainly not go to a man,s apartment. not till you know his character well, think of yourself. take care. | |
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| internet dates from Hell
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:29:22 PM | | After reading what this lady had to say and then reading her profile I can't believe some of the negative things that some of you people had to say. She said and I quote "That she didn't feel uncomfortable with him until after she went to his apartment" she also made the comment that "she went to see his apartment as a friend" have none of you ever been to a friends pad and expected it to be as a friend only. The guy who wrote all that about sex his place, sex her place I sure hope any lady you meet on here reads that first so she will know that you expect her to put out regardless and not expect you to be a friend first and get to know her before or if she agrees to go any further with you. It probably didn't surprise me that a guy would be so negative about a female like he is but what did surprise me was some of you women who was so negative to the lady about everything. She said and I quote "That the only reason she told her story was so that it might help or save someone else from going thru what she went thru". It sounds like the lady was lucky that she was not raped, seriously hurt or murdered because she was naive enough to trust someone she said she had seen a couple of times. Sounds she she was admitted that she made a mistake to me so nail her to the wall for making a human error in a judgement of character. Have none of you not made a bad judgement or error in your lives? I did however notice that quite a few of you men and women both didn't judge her badly but could understand and feel for what she went thru and to you people I tip my hat off to you in showing respect for a fellow human being. I am very much a male and yes I enjoy sex as well as the next guy but I have never resorted to any sort of volience like it sounds like she went thru with being grabbed and bruised and all. My advice to her would be if he contacts her again for her to let him know in no uncertain language to leave her alone, do not call her and if he contacts her again to go to the authorities and take charges out. Some of you may not like it but I have said my peace just like you have said your peace. May God go with you and watch out for each and everyone of you as we are all on this site for the same reason to meet someone. I truly hope that something like this never happens to you or to quote "your sister, your mother, your daughter or anyone else you know". Good luck to each of you in your search. | |
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