| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:08:37 AM | - i have been dating on or off for about ten years, and i still every once in a while get taken in.. why do people feel the need to lie /cheat while with someone? | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 4:51:01 AM | | wow that many ,looked but dont' feel need to respond or comment..i was just looking for views | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 5:51:40 AM | Well, you ask a good and fair question, and it is worth an honest response.
I do honestly love my wife ( I know that sounds weird,dumb, crass, etc. given what I am seeking ) and I have no intention of leaving her or ending my marriage. Our marriage is very good, excluding our love-life which has been next to non-existant for several years now.I'm not proud of this, and I don't do it lightly, or often. I have had 3 lovers in just over 7 years.
I'm not looking for another life partner, I am looking for a playmate (and I use that word specifically), someone with whom I can be friends and lovers, stepping out of daily life for a while to spend time together, then both getting on with our own lives. An affair is not really about "falling in love", it is purely about romantic and sexual fantasy. Most affairs would never survive the pressures and hassles of daily life as a couple.
I dont lie to a prospective lover, I am always open about my status and what I am seeking. ( and yes, it hasn't escaped my notice that I am still lying to my wife..).
I know it's not a good situation, but to be honest, the alternative is ending my marriage, one in which we are both largely happy and content, and that is not a step I am prepared to take. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 8:50:35 AM | | I would like to know how these cheaters find so many women. I must be doing something wrong | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:00:03 AM | There's always plenty of women with self esteem problems that are willing to have sex with a married man. It's like HAHAHA, I had sex with another woman's man. I'm better than she is. Then there's the women out there that have committment issues. A married man is safe because he is off the market and he won't be able to give anymore than a roll in the hay. Then there's the ones that are pathetic enough to believe that he's going to leave his wife oneday and 10 years down the road she's used up and the guy is still married to the same woman.
Luna | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:04:46 AM | people cheat for lots of reasons
sometimes because a spouse loses interest in sex, sometimes
for attention... sometimes one spouse will gain so much weight the
other finds them repulsive... etc.
there are many reasons people cheat... maybe the biggest of all is
how hard it is to divorce. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:07:06 AM | I don't know the answer to that one.. Maybe pose that to the cheaters themselves..
There is never a good reason for it, if your in a bad relationship thats still not an excuse, end the relationship and move on..
If your in a marriage that is good in all aspects except for the love life as one poster said,
there is still no reason for it if the sex life is bad thereis a reason for it mayby concentrate on finding out from your wife why the love life is none exsistant and work to fix it, if not in the end when she finds out about the affairs How do you think she will feel then.. Cheaters never think about that.. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:27:40 AM | In general:
Boredom
Excitement
Higher Sex Drive than significant other
Monogamaphobe
Hm...can't think of any more | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 9:37:10 AM | There are more then enough people with self-esteem/worth issues of both sexes to ensure that this is a continuing problem for years and years. So if you're not a cheater just keep saying to yourself;
women: "I am defined by those who poke me"
men: "An orgasm is the best I have to offer"
keep saying these over and over again, it would also help if you became entirely materialistic and looked only at peoples outsides. When possible try not to do anything right, and when you do call it a "fluke." You'll be looking for love in all the wrong places in no time.
*Esteem-away is a trademarked product and a subsidiary of Trojan condoms. All rights reserved. Operators are standing by...actually they are having sex but will answer all phone calls, because they feel really bad when they don't. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:10:15 AM | | its not just men that cheat every girl i have ever fallen for has done it to me so i very little trust in women left think people ceat because there is nothing left in a relationship and need a challenge | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:27:50 AM | People cheat because they don't love anyone. They cheat because their partner is not the best one for them.
My first marriage, I wanted to commit suicide or cheat, because I loved her so much but couldn't stand being with her AND asked God to kill me every night in my prayers, so one day I decided to commit suicide which made me open my eyes to my unhappiness and end my marriage. She simply was my best pick at 24 years old and a great gal but the wrong one for me.
Then my second marriage she cheated, and abused me. I was happy with the shrink bills.
My third wife, Oh man, I loved her and she loved me. I couldn't even fathom cheating or even imagining looking at anyone. She was the cutiest little Barbie Doll Blondie, soft spoken, romantic, her eyes were to die for so-o-o pretty !!, and she swallowed and gave it up 2 to 8 times a night. NOW I AM A BELIEVER sort of. Wow, the world does have beauty in it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, I need a nap. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 10:39:48 AM | OMG~~~~ A PLAYMATE!!!!!!!!
YOU ARE A PIG, A DOG A LIAR AND A CHEAT! I CANT BELIVE I READ WHAT YOU HAD NO PROBLEM WRITING!!! SO your saying if she would just bend over a couple times a week you would have no urge to cheat! I think it is just an excuse But if ur truely happily married why dont you tell her about your little fantasy and work it out!! I think risking loseing ur marriage becasue of your affair would be good enough reason to talk things out~~~~~ See its men like you that make woman like me never want to get married!!
As for the whole cheating thing--- Find a man no one thinks is good looking and there u have it he wont cheat because he cant!!!!! | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:26:25 AM |
Find a man no one thinks is good looking and there u have it he wont cheat because he cant!!!!!
Yeah that doesn't work. My ex-husband is Super-Geek (we call him Urkel) and he gets girls left and right. Told the first one (that I know of) we were divorced for a year two weeks after our one year anniversary. Yeah... I thought nobody wanted him but me... come to find out that's what everyone else thinks too!!! I stopped dating men that are drop dead gorgeous to get with him thinking he'd never do that... boy was I wrong. Now, I only date men that make me drool...  | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:32:43 AM | to "a playmate":
wow, this kind of makes me sick. there is no excuse for what you are doing, although it seems that you are able to justify it in your head. if i were your wife, i would rather you leave than do what you are doing. she is "largely happy" because she doesn't know you're screwing around!
you sound selfish and repulsive. i hope to god i never come across someone like you in my dating life. and, by the way, it is so much worse to lie to your wife about your "status" than to lie to someone you're screwing around with. you have pledged love, fidelity, and honesty to her (or maybe you don't remember your vows?). you retain absolutely no moral credibility because you tell your lovers that you are married. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:33:59 AM | "As for the whole cheating thing--- Find a man no one thinks is good looking and there u have it he wont cheat because he cant!!!!!"
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:42:19 AM | lying and cheating have the same thing at heart, a violation of the agreement at relationship's onset. if you're both clear at the beginning about your expectations and one partner violates those expectations, then it's over. this goes for monogamy and polyamory both.
honest communication and clear statement of expectations at the beginning will save both partners a lot of time and hurt. i expect that you each had different expectations at the onset and didn't take the time to clear up those expecations and lay some ground rules.
Be clear, be honest, and remember people who violate the rules aren't worth having around anyways. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:46:07 AM | Because they're horny perverts, that don't deserve a reltionship in the first place.
That's really all there is to it. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 11:57:36 AM | | people cheat cuz they just cant stick with one person. They arent ready to settle down. ive never cheated on someone before. i feel that if ur not happy and need to look elsewhere.. well then maybe its time to let that person go. Its less pain for them. | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 12:05:36 PM | | women cheat just as much as men ,do, but there really isnt a excusses if your marrie do livin together or have kids involved, learn to work out your proplems at home first | |
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| why do some feel need to cheat
Posted: 7/10/2006 12:07:31 PM | Good question!!! Wish I had that answer myself. I have never cheated!! I wont put up with it. I have been cheated on myself and I know how it feels. So heres a hug for you, stay strong!!! | |
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