| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/10/2006 12:21:54 PM | When my nephew was only about a year old, his mother disappeared with him, and we haven't seen him since. Leaving out all of what went on between the two of them, and jumping to current day.... He will be 16 in September.
Left it alone while the kid was really little. Wasn't in his best interest to bring drama and upset into his life (I don't care one way or the other about either parent, I have my reasons, but they would take up an entire page). About 2 years ago I hired a private investigator to find him, and did, sort of. When I went to the house, she said he wasn't there, and she and all her daughters flowed out onto the front porch trying to make sure I never saw what was behind that door. As she sat there lying her a$$ off, I just let it all go, not wanting to give her any reason to get her back up. My only interest is in knowing my nephew.
Have been calling and leaving messages, writing letters, etc., but don't know that he even gets them. Any time I call, the only one who answers the phone is the mother, and I know she is lying about some things (never call her on it to avoid any friction) so I don't know if I should believe what she says about him. I have even let on to the little gold digger that if my nephew has educational goals, as she claims, it would be in his best interest to know his grandfather who backs his kids and grandkids in all scholastics, any way he can, and she knows he has some serious "means". Yeah, dangled the carrot and was sickened by her change of tune, but if it works, so what.
All I want is to make contact with my nephew, as do my kids. I am not going to go after her with the authorities because she will just pull the same thing she did in the past. I am also not going to do anything illegal myself. His mother has a history of filing false charges on anyone that she doesn't like in any way. Does it so much she is an expert at it by now. I have to keep my nose squeaky clean in self defense, so she can't do anything to actually bar me from him.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to how I can achieve one on one contact with him? | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/10/2006 1:25:01 PM | technically you can't have one on one contact with him until he is of legal age.. then that is his choice.. there are two sides to every story.. not doubting yours by any means.. but she is his legal guardian.. and it isn't technically kidnapping unless she doesn't have guardianship of him.. unfortunately, how ever much you want to see him right now you have no legal binding.. because you are only the aunt..
hopefully she will come around and let you know him.. good luck | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:02:45 PM | | Um, actually, it was criminal and it was kidnapping...but like I said, all of the background etc would fill a page. And, unfortunately, I do have some legal recourse, but don't want to push that HARD, as she would probably either bolt or take it out on him, which is what she has always done before. | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/10/2006 3:16:13 PM | His mother has a history of filing false charges on anyone that she doesn't like in any way.
People should be warned about that sort of stuff. Be careful with her and same for anyone be careful with these types of people.
Surely there must be some sort of public services that would be willing to help you get contact with him. Get as much friends and family involved as possible, so they can be character witnesses and hopefully help you as much as they can in this regard. Do what you and your family and friends feel is right. | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/10/2006 6:09:02 PM | | If the boy is 16, is he in school and does he have a clue that he has family out there. If you are close enough to visit, are you close enough to see when the boy leaves the house? At 16, I would not think he would spend all of his time on the property and it would be perfectly legal to approach him in a public place. Your main concern should be the boy and not knowing what he has been told, etc. you don't want to scare him to death because any future contact might be impossible at that point. You mentioned that you have children, any his age that could wangle a basketball game or something? It sounds like you need to be creative or wait until he is 18, either way you need to be careful about totally freaking him out. Unknown relatives suddenly popping up may be overwhelming regardless of the good intentions, particularly if he has been brought up in an environment of suspicion of outsiders and the authorities. | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:00:07 AM | | When I went to the house that first time I did bring witnesses to "CYA", but it was one long road trip, definitely not a local hop. And bringing in any kind of agency would have her bolting with all the kids, again. It's pretty much a matter of getting to him through her or not at all. I did hear a definite change of tone in her voice when she thought there might be something in it for her. I would tell her to stop by and pick up some huge check or something, but then that would make me as big a liar as she is, in his eyes. NO way she is getting another cent out of this family in any way. Our support would only go to him. As far as hunting him down on a basketball court, I think stalking him like that would get me slapped with a restraining order, or I would have already camped out on the corner by their house. | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 8/27/2007 12:40:58 PM | I have an idea Playinround. Most kids today have Myspace. Perhaps you can Google his name and somehow get to his account? Then you can start communicating with him via email. I wish you well.
Concurrently, keep the Faith, Hope and Patience.
Johnny | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 8/27/2007 4:04:40 PM | | the internet ..yes most kids do have myspace....if you can get hold of there msn messenger user name you can start with a lot of pictures on myspace for them to view and short hi how are you's ..its a great start to have short little day to day contact messages with them.. | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:41:46 AM | | there are websites for children who are searching for lost parents--primarily via foster care or adoption, but i would still list your brother or yourself or the grandfather. if he wants to search for his birth family in the future, that would be a likely place for him to look in the event that you cannot gain access to him. i'm sure you know about posting on the proverbial milk carton and perhaps have reasons for not going that route, as well as not reporting her. unfortunately, the definition of kidnapping must come with a court order if she is indeed the mom. you also might want to develop a properly linked webpage in the event he googles with his name or his dad's . | |
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| Reconnecting with kidnapped kids
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:12:13 PM | | wow ,,she sure sounds like my ex..well you might try sending a letter to the school teacher ,they can be a big help,and enclose a letter you would like them to deliver ..in it give your email msn,phone # address,,picture ..and some online chat on msn might work wonders ,,short one line chat ..light conversation at first,,try a search for him as a user on facebook,,all the kids are on there | |
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