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 juggernaut72
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 1
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?Page 1 of 1    
A while ago I met a nice lady on another site. We emailed each other back and forth about twice a day for about a week or so. After which I Thought we were hitting things off pretty well. I suggested that we exchange phone numbers and gave her my number first. Suddenly no more emails from her... So I wait a few days and still nothing... Hmmm... A week goes by still nothing... Ok... I email her again just to make sure that she got my last email... Still nothing... Now I think this is a little weird but ok... no big deal.

A couple weeks later I emailed her again to ask her why she decided to stop emailing me. She replied that she was freaked out that someone wanted to exchange phone numbers so quickly (after only 14-15 emails?)!! She explained that she likes to email with someone for several months before she is willing to talk on the phone. I said thanks for the reply and good luck.

Obviously everyone has differenent views... I am wondering what you ladies think? I sure hate to scare off ladies by waiting too long or not long enough...

THANKS!!!
 burnleybabe
Joined: 4/29/2005
Msg: 2
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 1:50:19 PM
Ok, I'm curious that after 14-15 emails you hadn't met face to face yet?

Myself, I don't give out my home phone number until I meet the guy face to face. It's a lot easier to block an email address than change your phone number - so I do it for safety's sake.

But good decision to end it with that chick - a little psycho, I think
 juggernaut72
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 3
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 1:56:53 PM
Really... I had usually gone on the assumption that the ladies would like to talk on the phone before meeting face to face.. I guess that has been a mistake huh...

I have NEVER met someone without speaking to them on the phone at least once or twice.
 Limited Edition!
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 4
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 2:57:41 PM
Juggernaut72 - you are not wrong in thinking that. We all have our own way of working through the online dating process. Some rather talk than type, some block phone numbers or call you from pay phones, others type forever, some rather meet F2F right NOW.

There is no harm in stating early on how you like things to go and see if the other party is open to that. If not, what a suitable compromise may be.

You can even add a ditty to your profile stating that you prefer to talk on the phone and not to type endless emails.

LE
 Lotsofbutterflies
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 5
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 3:04:11 PM
Judging from what i'm doing right now...
2 weeks of emails. one week of chat, then phone numbers.
Next week i drove 670 miles to meet her (ok that was a drastic move)
but i got lucky and we still like each other more and more, and talk like 3 hours every day.

The point is.. If she feels genuinely attracted to you, physically and mentaly, it doesn't matter how many emails and how many days before doing the move. Just be brave and ask for her number when you think she is ready to give it to you.
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 6
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 3:05:21 PM
Messaged Elzeothis a few times.
Got to chatting.
After about 3 days, we swapped numbers, and I gave her a call. (Long distance)
After a week, I had bought myself plane tickets to go down to Colorado to see her. :)
 Lotsofbutterflies
Joined: 12/19/2005
Msg: 7
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 3:06:32 PM
Adam Taylor: nice! :)
 Adam Taylor
Joined: 5/11/2006
Msg: 8
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 3:13:25 PM
Hey, sometimes love just sneaks up on you when you least expect it.

Other times it grabs you in a headlock, punches you in the kidneys, and gives you a swift kick to the cajones.
Then drags you off to have it's way with you.

I'll let you guess which is the love I have for Elzeothis. ;)
 pdxnights
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 9
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 4:26:22 PM
From a guy’s perspective, I think you were well within the “phone number exchange” window. If she wasn’t interested in meeting someone (beyond e-mailing) then she shouldn’t have been on a singles site. It’s still her decision wither she wants to call or not. For her to be freaked out about, and give you the cold shoulder, is truly not in the spirit of the single dating forum. I'd move on, she may have some issues.
 chryslergirl
Joined: 9/12/2005
Msg: 10
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 4:36:57 PM
I am really cautious about giving out my home phone number. I once gave my number to a guy online and he used the reverse directory on 411 and showed up at my house. YIKES. Not cool at all since I have kids who were also unnerved by his appearance.

I have to feel I know someone really well before giving out my number because of that experience. No time limit, the right feeling just has to be there.
 juggernaut72
Joined: 2/5/2006
Msg: 11
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 6:56:18 PM
I really just post the story above to illustrate one scenario. I knew that based on her reaction that there were some issues there. She obviously could have just communicated that she does not want to give out her number yet. Maybe she needed to work on her comminication skills....

Would you feel more comfortable having someone suggest meeting at a public place (say maybe coffee at starbucks?) before talking on the phone?

Thanks everyone.....
 VioletSkye
Joined: 1/3/2006
Msg: 12
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How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:05:54 PM
I get pressure from men to give out my number, but I absolutely will not until I am comfy with it. If they wish to have me as a friend, they'll accept it and let the friendship grow until we get to that point. If not, well, see ya.
 puppylove
Joined: 9/7/2005
Msg: 13
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/11/2006 8:50:01 PM
If I seem to have good online compatability with him in a msn convo or quipping back and forth in a few messages then I am good to go with speaking on the phone. I'm not comfortable giving out my number though until I have met the guy and feel safe to do so, just too many nut bars out there. I communicate this and hide my number when I call. The sooner we talk on the phone the better! Seems far too easy to get along well with someone online to then find there's a whole other dynamic going on when you talk on the phone.
 searching4friend
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 14
How long before you exchange phone numbers?
Posted: 7/12/2006 2:57:21 AM
It's enough to drive you to drink! For instance today one woman offered me her phone# so we could hook up on an afternoon outing. This after a few days and maybe 5 emails. I was emailing another woman probably 7or 8 times a day, It appeared we were hitting it off, but to be quite honest my fingers were getting tired. So I asked if I could call her, no pressure yes or no, you have to understand the email commmunication was constant, with what I thought was pretty good comunication and she had long lists of questions and I would have covered the long distance charges. I got home very early evening and fonund she blocked me! go figure! I guees I saved myself a lot of time, but I really thought we were hitting it off. At this point I feel she was just to sensative for that move and will probably create some drama in her life cause of it. It's to the point that my only regret is I told her my last name upon making the request. I would be grateful for any feedback
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