| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 3:41:06 PM | We all know of abusive men. Well, here's a thread
looking at the other side of the issue. Abusive women
do exist. They can abuse members of either gender
through manipulation, emotional and/or physical abuse
and also sexual abuse. They can kill, as well.
Signs of an Abusive Woman : Puts you down. Has
a bad temper. Hurts you yet claims to love you. Drinks.
Has a history of abuse. Does drugs. Controls your movements.
Controls your finances. Puts one face (the pleasant one) in front
of guests and family members but returns to being her evil
self once they're gone. Can hide what she feels very well and
put on a mask of innocence. Hurts you but might try to comfort
you later and convince you that it was your fault and even though
you got hurt, YOU are the cause of it.
Other Signs : Slaps. Punches. Kicks. Threats. Verbal bashing.
Emotional bashing. Pretends to be your friend, yet hurts you.
Pretends to be doing all these things for your own good.
What you can do about it : Tell all your friends and other
family members. Keep a diary of what she does and keep the
diary hidden. Record (discreetly) her making threats or being
violent against someone and use it in court against her later.
Watch out for a violent woman in the kitchen. She has a whole
arsenal down there. Boiling water. Shoes. rolling pin. Kitchen knives.
ect.
What you should do : Save your money (discreetly) and
one day leave without anyone knowing where you went.
Go to the police and take a restraining order against her.
Be sure to convince the cops that SHE is a THREAT to
your life. Be VERY convincing. ANY WHICH WAY YOU CAN
IS GOOD.
Living with an abusive woman : Stay in a room by yourself
and make sure there is something blocking the door at night.
Make sure that your wallet contains the necessities. Money.
Credit cards. Bus pass. ect and that your wallet never leaves you.
Also, your car keys never leave you. EVER. She may attack you
and you may have to leave quickly. If she dials 911, leave and
take the first bus out of town. Dont go to any friends that
she knows of. Spend the night in a motel.
Once you leave : Dont ever come back to her. Ever. Not for
kids. Not for bills. Not for family. Not for any reason. Your
LIFE is in constant danger around HER. She is a bomb waiting to
explode and the countdown already started. It doesnt matter
if she is your mother, daughter, girlfriend, aunt, grandmother,
sister, fiancee or lover. Just leave her and never return.
Learn that there are a lot of women like her or worse out
there and warn your fellow man about them.
There are certain information you may find helpful.
www.batteredmenshelpline.org
www.safe4all.org
www.abusedmen.com
www.itdoeshappen.org
www.mediaradar.org
Books that can help :
Abused Men : The Hidden Side of Domestic Violence by
Phillip W. Cook
When She Was Bad : Violent Women And The Myth of Innocence by
Patricia Pearson.
I hope that I was helpful. Peace. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 3:45:14 PM | It's scary alright. A close family member was married to a woman who berated him and them began beating him. One night she came home after a night clubbing and she broke his nose, loosened his teeth and blacked both his eyes. The neighbors called the cops and guess what. HE was arrested. And he never laid a glove on her.
It's hard for male cops to believe that a man can be abused. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 5:17:44 PM | just wondering blackmanx...were you in this situation and were lucky enough to get out while you still could? I know that it is sometimes hard for people to believe it can be the other way around. Men and women both have tempers, both have problems, both can have the tendancy to hurt someone. Gender does not come into play at all.
Hopefully your posting will help at least one person. I think that the same criteria can be used when looking for signes in an abusive man as well. It's a scary situation and anyone faced with any of those signs should run for the exit! | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:13:22 PM | Men and women with many insecurities, and low self-esteem
often fall prey to abusive and controlling men and abusive and
controlling women. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:31:55 PM | A man is not supposed to be weak or seen as weak according to age-old
societal standards. It's easier for a battered woman to claim help.
Many men have chivalry in their brains so they will help a battered
woman. No one has any thought as to helping men in need. According
to society, men dont need help. This explains the lack of shelters for
battered men. This explains the lack of social services aimed at
helping men. This explains why there are services helping single
mothers and none helping single fathers. This explains the "boys dont hit girls"
code of conduct which should really be " Men and women shouldn't
hurt others or each other". A man stays in an abusive relationship
with a woman because he is ashamed that if news gets out, he
will be made fun of. He is supposed to be strong. Also, he cannot hit
her back. He's stuck either way. Society has trapped men. Society
has empowered violent women to hurt men with impunity. Nothing for the men to fall back on. Welcome to 21st century western society. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 7:49:48 PM | | How about an upbeat topic for a change Manx? Everytime I see your name its about abuse or gay issues. Frankly I'd think if you're trying to attract someone you'd put forward a bit less vocal image. Just my two cents and probably none of my beeswax. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 8:00:33 PM | You know, I have realized this myself. I need to " think happier."
I will try something else soon. In my own life, as well. Peace. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 8:36:12 PM | if I ever get into the situation where I become such a weak-minded wussy that I get abused by a girl, I'll make sure to remember these helpful hints. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 8:53:58 PM | BlackStorm,
Well said. Most of the time male ego is far too important to a man being abuse. I believe some men would die rather than have it known they were being abused.
Abuse (on both sides) can be as subtle as continued contradiction just for the sake of contadiction. It can be verbal and it can be physical. In the modern times where we preach equality for all humans we should also be aware of the abuses that all humans face.
As someone else posted, and I forgot who, it is not just man against woman or woman again man, it can be man against man and woman again woman.
It can even be seen in non-human species. But that is a different thread, if not a different forum altogether.
We will never live in a world with abuse, but hopefully we can find a world where we are smart enough to identify it and remove it from our personal life. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 9:05:19 PM | Men and women with many insecurities, and low self-esteem
often fall prey to abusive and controlling men and abusive and
controlling women.
The thing about this is the abuser often has much lower self esteem than the one being abused at first...that is why they must be "brought down" by the abuser. I watch for these signs in a potential mate....has kept me safe for a long time.
Squeak
NoNameHero
if I ever get into the situation where I become such a weak-minded wussy that I get abused by a girl, I'll make sure to remember these helpful hints.
Your comments belittle this situation. These men are not wusses...they are men who are in a terrible situation. By laughing about this, you have proven what you stand for. Shame on you... | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 15 | |
| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 9:06:53 PM | How about an upbeat topic for a change Manx? Everytime I see your name its about abuse or gay issues. Frankly I'd think if you're trying to attract someone you'd put forward a bit less vocal image. Just my two cents and probably none of my beeswax.
Georgie i find it ironic that you would make this statement when it seems you have alot of threads dealing with complaining about men, teens and todays modern woman and is'nt there any chivalrious men, or gentlemen left etc etc...If this is what concerns Blackmanx and he is getting input on his topics what is the problem? | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/1/2005 9:36:37 PM | | You just need to drop that **** on her head, then give her a good kick in the teeth. Break off her fake nails, then cut out her weave, she wont be a happy camper then! | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/2/2005 3:16:34 AM | These are also signs of men being abusive to woman beware! Thanks Blackmanx for warning men as well.
Another one however is she/her how do they treat family members? Does she/he have lots of friends?
Or are u isolated?
Star. | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/2/2005 7:28:05 AM | | It seems to me, that a lot of the signs of an abusive spouse are the same, regardless of who is the abuser or the abused. Now my women now they got it good. Never will I lay a hand on them in anger. In lust, certainly, but not in anger.... | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/2/2005 8:22:20 AM | | I fell victim twice to very manipulative women who abuse their rights and messed me up psychologically and financially !! Excellent Thread Buddy !! I will use the information you provided. We must raise public awareness of the frequency that this happens especially here in North America. It's Disgusting !!!!!!! | |
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| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/2/2005 8:45:04 AM | The reality is that there are no definite signs of an abusive person, even defining such a thing creates an atmospere of fear and mistrust in everybody. Nearly any one of these things that have been mentioned can be found in people who do not and will not abuse their partner. While on the other hand there are people who exhibit none of those characteristics, but will commit the most brutal acts of violence.
All we can do is try to know the people close to us, and make sure that we have a solid support group in case something did happen.
When ever you single out a single sex/race/ethnicity your profiling which only leads to negative connotations both about that group and the groups that were excluded. By doing this we further seperate our society and create conflict.
MOST IMPORTANT DO NOT BE CONTROLLED BY FEAR, IT WILL KILL YOU!!!!!! | |
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xchuck
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Joined: 6/11/2004
Msg: 25 | |
| Abusive Women : Signs to watch out for
Posted: 3/2/2005 9:10:34 AM | | Alright i'm going to go out on the limb here and say abuse of a man by a woman is alot less traumatic then the other way around. Simply because a man is physically stronger and can easily overpower a female attacker unless she is holding a weapon of some sort. I can't see a female breaking a guy's arm or blackening his eyes or holding him against his will as men do with the women they abuse. Not to take this topic lightly but if you are being abused by a woman continuously...being a man why not just simply walk away or have her arrested certainly you can't be frightened that much of a woman. If i'm missing the obvisious i apologize. | |
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