| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 6:40:29 PM | Hi all,
As i am sure you are all aware, deadbeat dad's is one of the single most largest crisis' facing todays children.
I have an idea that i would like everyones feed back on.
I believe that men who abandon their children should face criminal charges. Now i am refering to men who have no contact with there children, who do not pay childsupport, and in alot of cases avoid the court system so they will go through there entire life not being held responsible for their children.
Women who abandon there children at birth are held criminally negligent and are charged with a variety of offences, yet men are not.
Now i am refering to true cases of abandonment and not neglectful fathers.
I believe there should be a law that will hold both men and women equally repsonsibe.
What do you think? | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 6:51:46 PM | I agree I have to say though that there are dead beat moms aswell, in the interest of fairness women can be just as bad....
Having said that My ex is a dead beat in every sense of the word, he has 3 gorgeous kids who any man would be proud of and sadly he just doesnt give a damn, he lives 5 minutes away its not hard for him to get over here to see his kids but he dont bother.
His name is Rob Chalmers from Brampton Ontario,Canada let him sue me for putting his name on here ...
Thats what they need to be publicly shamed into being a dad/ mom in the true sense of the word ....
Sdaly he is merely a SPERM DONOR  | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 6:59:07 PM | I see from your profile you are from New Brunswick  nice place.
I think in Canada the government is too soft on this issue my kids are almost old enough now where they wont need him for child support much longer, he hasnt seen them in 5 years and they have gotton to the point where it dont bother them , it bugs me though that I have been left to be mom and dad and that little shite is having fun and partying like theres no tomorrow , he dont even call to see if they need a pair of shoes for Gawds sakes. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:05:10 PM | | Exactly Canada has very few laws and very few resources to help single moms and dads get any type of support. I can't get support from my ex becasue i don't know where he is. My only options is to hire a private dectective and a private lawer with a bill for each arround $800 With no guarantee that it will ever happen. On a tight budget it's just not possible. This is where the canadian government needs to step in and offer options to all the other women and men in my position. A crimial charge would help in all areas not just satisfaction for the primary parent it would help in tracting down these men and making them be responsible. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:07:20 PM | desperate and not picky
I think the men/women who are mothers/fathers who are "deadbeats" should both be put somewhere i mean the women N men should NEVER had the babys if they do NOT want to take up time with the babys, or spend time with them it's sad how many deadbeat mothers/fathers we have now days those kids deserve better.
~Louisiana~ | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:10:06 PM | At this point all I can say to you is good luck I hope you get him.
My ex got his boss to lay him off and then paid him cash to work.
I knew this, and he knew I knew it and laughed....
what I dont get is where is there conscience, I couldnt live without my kids I couldnt go a day never mind 5 YEARS not knowing my kids were ok , this man doesnt even phone to wish them a happy birthday he just doesnt give a damn
Here's a thought maybe you should go to your local newspaper and ask them to do a story on Deadbeat parents, maybe you can shame him into doing what he should be doing which is to stand up and be a man .. | |
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Ramo5
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Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 9 | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:16:02 PM | Well I am a Signle Father, who's ex you would all consider to be a Dead Beat. However that said, I don't believe this would be the largest problem faving our children.
Criminal Charges make very little Sense.. as a matter of fact they employ this method in the States. NCP (Non Custodial Parent) who don't pay their child support can be charged... And even sent to prison.
Now to me this makes very little sense. You are actually reducing the the earning potential of this person 2 fold. 1st by locking them up, and whatever job they did have they cannot work at now. 2nd now that they have a Criminal Record, gaining employment will become even harder then it was before.
I do agree that NCP's should be responsible for their children. In that you have my full support. But charging them Criminally makes very little sense. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:19:52 PM | | yeah that might work if its for both male and female! i've been a single dad for 7 years i've always had my son with me! When i got divorced i got full custody of him and i wouldn't have it any other way! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:28:46 PM | | character flaws can't be avoided in either of the sexes, nor can they be "fixed." what men and women need to do is be far more responsible in choosing a partner to have children with, whether they marry and especially when they're not married. parents can start by teaching those children abstinence so they don't make the same mistakes. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:35:24 PM | Hi all. I can tell you from first hand experience. I worked for job and family services for a short while. It's about 50/50. Guys think the courts rule in favor of women. The truth of the matter is most guys give up because they think the courts won't give them their kids. The truth of the matter is it's not true. When I worked for job and family I saw just as many Dad's get their kids as Moms and I saw just as many women go to jail for non-payment as I did Dad's. I can assure that when Men and Women a like do not pay or maintain a part of thier childs life and the courts can find them...they go to jail...I no longer work there and have moved on to bigger things. However, I was shocked to see first how fair the system actually is. In Ohio the law is simple , you make more money , you have less time ...thus you can pay and the other parent will probably get controling custody of the child, due to the fact it appears as though they may have more time...This is just how it works out...In my case my ex and I always wanted what was best for our kids, that is for them to be as much of a part of both our lives and work things out for the best of them and not us. This is hard to do when the two parties involved obviosly have differences.
In the cases where the men or women run it is usually the ex's fault. They become so critical of them that they make their lives after/during the divorce next to impossible. Smacking them down every chance they get and mentally abusing them and sometimes even talking the court into helping them do it. Men and Women a like. PLEASE if you have an ex who has wounded you emotionally try to treat them fairly and objectivly. The more you go after them the more likely they are to RUN. Don't bad mouth your ex in front of your kids if you can help it. Remember that your ex is probably doing what they are doing because of something somebody did to them when they were kids too. No it's not your fault that whatever happened to them happened, but don't make it worse. You're children will be the ones that will and do and already are suffering no matter how you feel. The laws are not perfect and even if they were ,we the people would still find ways around them. I guess John Mayer sums it all up best in the song Daughters. Be good to eachother and to your kids, it can prevent sooooo much damage that really isn't needed. All the single Mom's and Dad's out there be BIG people...swallow your pride and drop your past...look foreward forgive and forget if you can. Remember almost everything your children learn in their life they will learn from you. We are always setting an example for them even when they are not with us. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:36:15 PM | Hey kitty,
I do agree with you also however that is not the topic we are discussing here. In a perfect world we would all end up with people who are good, unfortunetly even the most intelegent of us can be foolled. I am currious on peoples oppionions on how to alleviate the problems we are now faced with. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:48:33 PM | Hey JS
Thank you for completely proving my point without even knowing it! This is a cycle that needs to come to an end. As a society we need to make this unacceptable so that those who have had it done to them so they do not grow up to follow in their fathers or mothers footsteps.
However i do stongly disagree with you on one point. It is not my fault or any other single parents fault that the 'looser' parent took off it is there own fault. To assume that is what is wrong with the system. I am extremely offended by this statement as i am sure all other single parents reading this are! Also you have no clinical evidence to back up your claims.
Now i am not saying that laying criminal charges will make everyones problems go away, i am saying that individuals need to be held accountable for there actions! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:53:54 PM | as yas would know the australian govt runs things very differently..... there is no longer any working under the table... every employer has to sign a state of declaration with every new place of employment they have... the ATO ( australia taxation office) issues all employers a TNF ( tax file number) which gets put on this delcaration form which is submitted to the ATO so they can do a cross check on taxes etc.... now... the govt has it that this way now and has been this way for the last 5years or so... so people arent getting paid in cash... arent running out of paying taxes... and so that everyone gets the right benefits... also helps the company with their taxes as well....
anyways... our child support agency or CSA is a govt run dept... which has direct link into the ATO database... they can do a search for that person... see where they are working... how long they have been working and if they have moved....also when you register with the CSA.. you have to provide your TFN... so everything is linked....
also.. with centrelink.. or welfare as yous call is... that too is linked to CSA and ATO... so if you are working and collecting dole payments and you havent declared the correct amount they will charge you with what you owe centrelink.... but this wont happen until you hand in your tax return.... also helps CSA so when payments have stopped ( no longer working) they put in a request thru centrelink to see if one is collecting payments... if th ey are collecting they can find out when it started... where they life etc.... and will take directly out of the payments before that person even get paid...
so with these 3 govt depts.... anyone can be traced..... also we have to vote so you will be on the enrolment list for voting which you can search as well... with all current addresses or the last known address... but the only way you can get off that list if they (doorknockers) come to tick you off the listings they have for you at your last address and if you arent there anymore... well they will mark you off it.....
either way.... easy ways to track a person down over here....especially if it is a child matter.... oh the police can also get this info too if needed....
edit:... also... with drivers lic.... if you move you have up to 3weeks i think it is to change your address on your lic...which you do a the dept of transport.. which is also linked to the police.... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:01:28 PM | actually desperate... it is the topic we are discussing here. had my parents taught me what i needed to know about "life", i wouldn't have made the mistake of choosing the person i did to be the father of my only child. offended or not... I MADE THAT MISTAKE. his father had strong character flaws i was well aware of and i slept with him, unprotected anyway. i chose to teach my son better, therefore, breaking the cycle. my son will NOT have a child out of wedlock, nor is he sexually active or irresponsible when he is active. he's 18 now and knows better than to knock some random chick up and run off. he also knows the value in FAMILY. that knowledge came from me teaching him not to make the same mistakes i did and giving him the tools he needed in life to make the right choices... he doesn't have the character flaws his father does... THANK GOD!
accept responsibility for your bad choices and simply stop making those bad choices. this all starts with the parents and adults who don't yet have children but have the ability to make poor life choices. again... if you are full of character flaws like being an alcoholic, drug abuser, spouse abuser, child molester, these things about you will always be with you... they are what are considered "character flaws." my sons father has all but the pedophilia issues. my son... well... he has none of the above as he was raised by me, and me alone and his sperm donor now permanently resides behind bars... far enough away to have never met his son or have an ounce of influence other that to be a fine example of what NOT to become in life. | |
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y?
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Joined: 5/1/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:04:36 PM |
As i am sure you are all aware, deadbeat dad's is one of the single most largest crisis' facing todays children.
Well put !!!! now next time, re-read your post before you send them...nothing burns my ass more then people thinking that it's always the guy that runs off, and the poor woman stuck fending for herself and the childre....give you head a shake for phuk sakes !!! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:08:43 PM | y?
Very well put and i agree with your post (i know alot of single moms, think im defending single dads......whatever!)
But it is true it gets under my skin aswell as people/women thinking it is ALWAYS the guy that runs off, and they left to raise their child all alone WOMEN do the same shit and leaves the, guy to raise the child/baby. | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 8:10:15 PM | y?... she did state "Women who abandon there children at birth are held criminally negligent and are charged with a variety of offences, yet men are not."
she went on to state:
"Now i am refering to true cases of abandonment and not neglectful fathers."
"I believe there should be a law that will hold both men and women equally repsonsibe."
i think it's fair to say she included both sexes in the OP.
there aren't as many "deadbeat" moms out there as there are "deadbeat" dads but a deadbeat is a deadbeat in my book... i don't care what sex you are... it's wrong. i don't believe that was the OP's point though...
anyone who abandons their child ought to be placed on a "wanted" poster, hung up at the post office, posted on web sites and prosecuted to the full extent of the law when caught. BUT... in the meantime... we need to do our part to make sure we don't do this sort of thing and that our children aren't raised to abandon their children. THIS ALL STARTS AT HOME | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:00:19 PM | " I am currious on peoples oppionions on how to alleviate the problems
we are now faced with. "
I think not being desperate and being picky might help weed out potential
deadbeats.
GPH | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:15:18 PM | js pur.
Im sorry but you are soooo wrong on many points, I dont even have the time now to get into it, all I can say quickly is, we dont all bad mouth our ex's in front of our kids I have gone out of my way to be nice to the shite and he still dont bother with his kids...
your post is very condescending my friend ... | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:17:15 PM | GPH YOUR POST
'I think not being desperate and being picky might help weed out potential
deadbeats'
Is insulting and NOT funny, this is a serious topic and NOT joke thread !! | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:22:52 PM | Just a question but what are the women called when they do NOT take care of their baby or even care if their baby has food or personal items, and do NOT come around their baby at all what are the women classified as?.....since the fathers are "Deadbeat Dads"  | |
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| What to do about the dead-beat dad eppidemic!
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:32:34 PM | | Well wings i think that most deadbeat mom's are called every name you can think of by society in general and carry the stigma of it for their entire lives, whereas deadbeat dad are only chastised by the ones left behind. Others may think poorly of them but not enough to do anything about it. | |
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