| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 10:57:56 PM | By "addict" (which is a word I often hesitate to use), I mean basically who watch porn and DO NOT LIKE IT yet continue to do it. And by "DO NOT LIKE IT" I don't necessarily mean they do not enjoy looking at it at the moment (ex: they may be using it as a masturbation aid, therefore may be SEXUALLY enjoying it)... By "do not like it" I mean they dislike the fact that they just looked at porn. There may be feelings of shame, guilt/regret, and of self-disgust. They may feel deep down that they do not truly enjoy it, and feel a sort of sadness: A kind of mourning perhaps, about the loss of (their) innocence, and sadness about the way porn objectfies, degrades and reduces humans (both men and women alike) to mere sex robots.
Some statistics say females are increasingly becoming consumers of porn, and I personally believe that this is indeed the case, however no one seems to talk about it. Why is that?
Any thoughts you might have on this interesting issue, whether you are male or female, okay with or against porn, would be appreciated.
Thank you. | |
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Joy.
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Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 2 | |
| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:03:49 PM | Who would have thought that watching porn could be covering up some deep seated problems??
Shame, guilt, self-disgust, sadness, mourning, loss of innocence, degrading, etc. NONE of these things ever come to mind when I watch it.
Normally I just think 'well, that did the trick'.
End of story. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:10:01 PM | I see. Well for me, personally, I do feel those things. My conscience is stirred...and I find porn to be truly revolting and one of the worst drugs out there....since it preys on the most basic human drive: the sexual one..
And, they way it preys, is scary.....It is very seductive, and deceptive and to me, masquerades behind a false facade of "it's nothing, it's just porn..it's not damaging".. Because...it is. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:27:28 PM | | I don't know about that, but I think that's very interesting the fact that only one person answered your post and there are like 40 who saw it and didn't comment, and some even voted to delete the thread, very interesting....... | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:36:49 PM | | Interesting. I don't know why they'd want to delete it. As if I've posted something blasphemous, lol.... Or I don't know. If they don't like it, they don't have to click on it. I was very blunt with what the topic is about, so I don't know why they feel a need to have it deleted. I use no profane language, and it's a serious and important topic that lacks discussion. Which is exactly why I posted it. I had no intention to offend anyone but if they are, that's there problem. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:41:03 PM | | Porn is great, 99% of men would have watched porn its a shame that more women don't, some of them need some ideas. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:44:20 PM | | I really disagree. Porn is not REAL. It's fake. It's like food... Good sex is like wholesome, nutritious food. Porn is like junk food: all fake and processed and packaged and manufactured...."I'm loving it", It's like McDonald's, man.... That's my opinion. But I respect yours and thank you for sharing it. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:46:54 PM | I have come to realize that -as far as I know- you can not post something important or intelligent on this place, if you do, is very possible that one of this will happen.
1- It will get deleted by the moderators or
2- It will get deleted by voting or
3- No one will reply and it'll vanish.
I had tried myself several times and that's always what happened, except once that I posted something really stupid and it got quite some replies he he.
Just couple days ago I opened 2 and got 0 replies, here is one of them:
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts4661658.aspx#4661658.
I guess simple things are easier to deal with, maybe I'm not very sure....... :) | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/13/2006 11:57:51 PM | Porn??!! Well if you watch it with someone you are lucky..if you watch it by yourself....go for it!!!!
Each to their own..some like it, some don't!
Can I sign up to watch?!!  | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:07:38 AM | | I love Porn..I can't help it..always have. Gets me in the mood..my husband hates it but too bad for him..hahaha | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:15:20 AM | Thank you for posting this. It is an issue that should be dealt with here. Yes...
As for my opinion - here goes:
I am aware of porn. I rarely watch it. If I happen to stumble across it, or am in a terribly horny mood and stwitch to it for some titillation - it lasts for about 2 minutes, max. Then, I realize why I am thoroughly disenchanted with it. Most of it is so mechanical.
I think that people who "need" it are (blank).
I think that guys who view it as a learning tool for basic sex are (blank).
I think that couple who need it for mutual stimulation are (blank).
I think that some people get hooked on it and can't get past it to deal with a real, sensual and loving, pysical relationship that can last.
Just my opinion.
If you guys only knew The Real Thing... | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 3:29:28 AM | I think that if you can't enjoy watching Porn then you probally have a hang up about your own body or have some repressed memory that makes you feel the way you describe. I mean come on 2 people having sex is natrual and if you are secure in yourself then you should be able to enjoy viewing said act unless it is targeted at a certain fetish you don't care for.
I personally beleive that people watch porn to learn more about there own personnal fantasy's more so then to just rub one out. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 7:06:55 AM | "Some statistics say females are increasingly becoming consumers of porn, and I personally believe that this is indeed the case, however no one seems to talk about it. Why is that?"
Because it's not true.
I'd put FEMALE porn addicts in the same catelogue as:
-- Female wants much sex as male.
-- Female pays for her share of dates.
-- Men like fat girls.
-- Women like short guys.
-- Look doens't matter.
Who wants give a serious discussion about some urburn legend? | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 7:12:58 AM | I think that if you feel shame etc. from watching porn than you must have a hard time while engaging in sexual contact with your partner. Have you ever been able to really let loose while in an intimate encounter? You must have been told sex was bad while growing up?
Just my take on the shame you feel - may not fit your situation. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 7:31:57 AM | | This is an interesting thread because everyone here makes a solid point. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 10:52:54 AM | My ex was addicted to porn. He'd watch it at night while I was sleeping, he'd watch it while I was at work. He was always jacking off to porn, and he'd be out of steam for me. He would download it on my computer. It was always popping up. When we did make love it was good, except he would have a hard time cumming. I would be spent after an hour or two, but still spend a half hour or more at the end tending strictly to him (and I tended to him while we were in the mix, too, believe me). Don't think I'm not good in bed. I'm a f.ucking godess.
It put a strain on our sex life after a while, when he couldn't just cum while we were making love together. Every single time, after making love, I would have to suck lick finger my head off while he closed his eyes and pictured God knows what. The porn desensitized him to the real lovemaking that we did. I always felt like he was picturing me being degraded, 3 wayed..etc... and that he didn't truly think making love was exciting. It always seemed like he wished we were in a porn. I'll do anything to please my man. I did for three years. We broke up for other reasons, but this issues didn't really help matters. We fought over it sometimes. I told him those people weren't making love, and they were geting payed. That it was entertainment. It not real.
I don't think that porn is a problem in moderation, but like anything, in excess, it can have a negative effect on your life. Men and women beware. Porn can desensitize you and blur the lines between what is real love-making and what is purely commercial, payed, entertainment sex. The real thing is always better than watching it. If you want to be f.ucking like your in a porno, you probably don't want to be in a committed relationship with one man or woman. I'm single and I rarely watch it. I prefer erotic stories. At least they leave a little to the imagination. Just my opinion. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 11:51:04 AM | gazingatmars,
What you said is so true. My ex did the samething MANY times a day.. He was still able to go, but he litterly became a different person over time.. He was getting aggressive (in a BAD way) & forceful (also in a BAD way).. The last 6mths or so of our relationship was of me trying to keep away from him & not wanting to turn him on.
A little porn is all good, but abuse it  | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:05:24 PM | | I'm not sure she was an addict per say but an ex gf of mine loved porn but was terrified of anyone finding out, thankfully she was honest with me and admited it. She must have felt a certain amount of shame for enjoying it because she absolutely would not go to the video store, enyer the little back room, and choose a movie, but she'd practically beg me to run down and rent her a movie or two. She also wanted to see a strip joint and a porn shop, and I was glad to take her but we had to go wayyyyyyyyyyy out of town, where she felt sure nobody she'd know would see her before she'd go in. She certainly enjoyed the experience but would never ever have gone had it not being for me and my willingness to drive so far so she could be at ease. I guess the point I'd like to make is that she's an adult, if she wants to enjoy these things she's entitled to, but for whatever reason, and I think it's old an fashoined upbringing, she was ashamed that she enjoyed it. Neither she nor any woman should be ashamed of it, but because of double standards many are lead to believe they should be ashamed. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 1:44:16 PM | GOD. Pornography and addiction are NOT synonymous! I don't know about the rest of the readers, but this is the impression I'm getting from the OP.
I fully enjoy porn with no sense of shame whatsoever. It is NOT what is wrong with society. If you feel uncomfortable or shamed viewing it, you should evaluate yourself—and why you feel so degraded. At the very least, STOP watching it.
It is entirely human to fantasize. Our imaginations are what defines us as individuals and as a species. Of course it will encompass sexuality in its many forms. Shall we all avoid temptation simply because it's considered to be against the current (vocal or PC) popular mores? How stupid.
Recap: I watch porn. I am not an addict. I love it. Even if I didn't, that would NOT qualify me as an ADDICT. You really need to research some of these definitions. First suggested Google query: "What is an addict?" | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:16:57 PM | Three small points to make:
1) Sex is natural and beautiful. Porn is fabricated and exploitative. The two are not related.
2) Feeling guilty for watching porn has nothing to do with a person's self-image or their attitude toward toward sex. It's the result of a conflict between ideals and instinct.
3) Exploring a conflict between ideals and instinct an admirable thing, and the world would be a better place if more people did it.
Long live love!  | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:25:05 PM | Why on God's green earth are you torturing yourself like this?
If you're going to do it, then do it. Enjoy it. Set it aside. Go on about your life.
If you don't think you should, then don't. Get rid of it. Throw it away.
To be completely honest, I think you should keep it, enjoy it, find a partner who might occasionally enjoy it.
Love your porn. But be sensible.
Sheesh. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:50:53 PM |
You must have been told sex was bad while growing up?
Hi, Leanne! I find it strange that so many people draw this sort of conclusion (you're obviously not the first). When I was young I felt tremendous guilt over watching porn, but it wasn't because I was told sex is bad. Quite the opposite! I was taught that sex was better than good, it was sacred.
I perceived pornographers as people who cheapened something sacred for the sake of money, and by indulging myself, I felt that I was participating in that degradation.
I would imagine that someone who was taught that sex is bad would have a problem with sexuality in general, not just porn.
My $0.02.
Long live love! | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 4:57:03 PM | Violence : "...children typically witness 32,000 murders and 40,000 attempted murders by the time they reach the age of 18."
when was the last time you felt guilty watching CSI or COPS?
pornoghraphy is one, two, or more human beings having sex with eachother. and yeah, they even enjoy it. Smut has never been ment to make the veiwer feel guilty or sad, its sole purpose is to make you feel nice, real nice...
*note: Dispite the statistical quote I do still believe adult film should be reserved for adults. Also television violence depicting steven seagal as an actor should be permenatly banned in all 193 countries on this planet. | |
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| Female Porn Addicts
Posted: 7/14/2006 5:05:59 PM |
I find it strange that so many people draw this sort of conclusion (you're obviously not the first). When I was young I felt tremendous guilt over watching porn, but it wasn't because I was told sex is bad. Quite the opposite! I was taught that sex was better than good, it was sacred. I perceived pornographers as people who cheapened something sacred for the sake of money, and by indulging myself, I felt that I was participating in that degradation. I would imagine that someone who was taught that sex is bad would have a problem with sexuality in general, not just porn. - fireflyfellow
I, too, was taught that sex was "sacred." By "sacred," unfortunately, they meant "reserved only for married adults." Nobody told me that masturbation was healthy. My curiosity about the body and the act of sex was actively discouraged. Hormones rampaged through my teenaged veins all day long, and I was just supposed to ... not think about sex.
Sex was so sacred that any contact with it at all was dirty, nasty and obscene.
Then, years later, when I married a girl from the religious school I attended, all of a sudden I was supposed to change gears from two decades of having "Sex is wrong" drilled into my head overnight.
Yeah. That'll @#$#@ with your head bigtime. | |
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