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Show ALL Forums  > Ask A Guy  > Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?      Home login  
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 Terrible
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 1
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?Page 1 of 1    
OK guys please help. I have been noticing this trend with every guy I like.

I'm talking with a guy, we're having what seems like a cool chat, getting along great and out of nowhere they start flirting with another woman in front of my face or if we're chatting online they start to talk about other women.

So my question is: Why do men flirt with other women infront of me? Is this a way of them letting me know they're not interested in me or is this a way for them to make me jealous and get a reaction out of me because they like me? Is this something all guys do?
 Ron9
Joined: 8/10/2004
Msg: 2
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 1:22:04 AM
Guys are going to notice nice looking females - it is built in - we can not help it.

A more mature guy will not go overboard gawking at a gal when he is with a gal. He will show respect to the one he is with. He would also not talk about other females - unless he was just talking to a female friend.

Some of the younger crowd think if they act uninterested - it makes them more of a challenge. I am an old guy - I think that is stupid.

Some people are just inconsiderate dorks.
 croe777
Joined: 6/28/2006
Msg: 3
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 1:25:54 AM
I had a similiar problem with my ex. He would like to tell me how pretty this woman's butt is or face and then he would flirt with every woman they waited on us anywhere. He had no respect for me. I still have not figured out why he felt he had to do this. The kids would say Dad why do you do that to mom and he would just laugh. When I confronted him time and time again about his behavior he would always say I'm going home with you aren't I? Then I got wise and left his ass at a resturant and told him to get the waitress to take him home since she was so much better looking than me. He called when he noticied I really left and asked me to pick him up but nothing ever changed but he cried and begged me to come back when I left him and I told him to go find one of the million of girls he pointed out to me and ask them to take care of him. He would even holler out his window while at the beach at women while I sat right beside him. Now that's embarrassing. I wish I could give you an answer but I'll let you know as soon as I figure it out. Good luck you may need it with the quality of men we have out there.
 destiny_in_motion
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 4
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 1:43:18 AM

So my question is: Why do men flirt with other women infront of me? Is this a way of them letting me know they're not interested in me or is this a way for them to make me jealous and get a reaction out of me because they like me? Is this something all guys do?


Here's your answer, it's a sign of immaturity and no not every guy does that, I don't do that to women because I don't like it when it's done to me.



Yes, I've seen enough women do this. It's a question of why do 'people' do this.



And yes, some girls will even talk about great looking hotties when they know for a fact that that the guy likes them, and that's rude to because it makes everything awkward for the guy.

So there you go.
 MomWarnedYouAboutMe
Joined: 1/28/2006
Msg: 5
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 5:25:48 AM
It's a power thing, if it's intentional and a maturity thing if it's not. Of the former, some guys will do it to see how a girl will react. some guys will do it to show that you're not the only one out there, and that he could have someone else.
 ladyvamptress
Joined: 6/4/2006
Msg: 6
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 5:30:35 AM

I'm talking with a guy, we're having what seems like a cool chat, getting along great and out of nowhere they start flirting with another woman in front of my face or if we're chatting online they start to talk about other women.


What kind of flirting? There is harmless flirting that comes natural or there is the person trying to make themself feel better by flirting,he could be showing you he can get others so hold on to him. It could be many things and noone knows but him to why he does it. If you dont like the way he is just walk away.

I myself find flirting harmless. If Im with someone and they want to flirt it doesnt bother me,I know who I am and if thats what turns them on, well then I say go for it. At times I would flirt myself and watch how quick the flirting stops on their end....hehe!

but at the same time.......If you let your guard down you could have a good time with it.
Say your both sitting at a patio and he has noticed a cute lady across the room and he starts to flirt,say nothing just smile. Your sipping on your straw and this nice looking man walks by, wink at him. So now both of you are flirting with others..{harmless flirting,thats if you are both comfortable with it} It does give your night together a lift off....
 Kainhunter
Joined: 6/5/2005
Msg: 7
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 6:28:04 AM
I can see how that could get on your nerves, but you've gotta think about whether it's intentional or not. Just like Bite Me said, some people just do it naturally and don't mean to. But my question to you is more personal. If this is happening to you with a lot of guys, are you doing any of these things: Dating younger guys, showing a lack of self confidence, or looking for douche-bags? I think that if it happens a lot it might just be your perception of what's happening because guys don't usually just do that, and for you to date enough of them for the number to actually get your attention, it might just be that you are a bit over sensitive to that sort of thing and might need to look into dating older men. They've usually got all of that out of their systems.
 Crane Man
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 8
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 6:40:12 AM
Maybe you should re - evaluate the caliber of Guys that you are going after if they are all pulling this Crap. Or maybe you are expecting too much too soon but I would go back to the drawing board.
 RSwindol
Joined: 8/25/2005
Msg: 9
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 7:39:45 AM
Guys flirting with women while there woman is around is nothing more than an indication of a low self esteem. And since it's quite true that people are attracted to others that have similar self esteems, I can deduce that your self esteem may also be a bit low, which would lead me to believe that even though your man may be giving another girl more attention than he probably should, your personality would have the tendency to allow you to blow the situation out of proportion.

This is a vicious cycle that leads to almost nothing good. Try some self help methods to raise your self esteem and you will notice eventually that the men you decide to date will also have higher self esteems and will be less likely to flirt with other girls.
 zentral
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 10
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 8:42:51 AM
Looking is one thing - in moderation. It is difficult NOT to look at a very attractive woman, but staring or ogling is not cool. My SO understands this, and goes so far as to point out the ones I might miss! LOL However, flirting with someone else while with you indicates either immaturity or lack of interest in you. And talking about other women while chatting online with you is not very bright, so you may want to find somone with better social skills.
 truthodare
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 11
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 8:52:48 AM
It all depends on what you call flirting. I appreciate good social skills. However, if I were on a date with someone who obviously flirted with other women, I would view it as disrespectful and a complete waste of my time. There would not be another date.
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 12
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 8:56:23 AM
I flirt for the hell of it ... but usually means ... he is not into you as much as you want him to be ...
 Roamingsiris
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 13
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:06:32 AM
1) Perhaps I am not really that nice of a guy, but I will usually do the "check out another girl" thing after a couple of dates, and this isnt because Im really that intrested, Its more to access the level of maturity in the girl that I am with. It also is a really fast and easy way to find out if the girl I am with is confident and secure. If she panics, or starts acting weird when I make a comment about the waitress's skirt or whatever, then I will usually assume that she has issues far extending the current situation. Most girls know and understand that we guys WILL notice and LOOK when we see an attractive girl, and if she does start to act "weird" / "panicy" whatever, then thats a totall turn off. Usually I wont bother with another date, or whatever at that point. Now, If she is totally cool with it, IE jokes about it, agrees, whatver, then thats totally cool. Shes calm, confident. Selcure. These are things that are major turn-ons for me, and such Ill let her know /wink.

2) OK, again, this is somthing that I do as well. Althoe, its mainly for a much more selfish reason. When I do start to bring up other chicks, then its almost ALWAYS an X. When this happens, im basically looking for 2 things, 1. AGREE with me,. (there Xs for a reason) 2. I have a past, everyone does. I dont want a current girl to get panicy / weird because she suddenly finds out that this isnt my first date ever. Its also to again check the confidence level.

So, be cool with it, joke about the girl too. MAKE DAMN SURE that its jokeing, and not just sitting there "dissing" every goodlooking girl in a skirt that walks by. Im going to see them, and look. If I lose my train of thought when I see a chick, LAUGH at me, make it a joke, Look at her too, and pretend to drool. Whatever, just make sure everyone knows its funny. When I bring up psych X agree with me, ( This is basically an easy way to say, Yes, She was CRAZY - I am not. To him.)

Hopefully this helps, or, I could just be an ***hole, I dont know.

On a side note, if its EXCESSIVE, the guys might just be underconfident, or letches, it can be hard to tell, I guess you will just have to make up your mind for yourself. If it seems like its too much, then it is.

 captainbaud
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 14
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:09:28 AM
It's also possible, that once a guy feels comfortable enough with you, he assigns your friendship status to a level of 'one of the guys', and may mention the various parts of other women as he would to one of his male buddies.
 JustOnEdge
Joined: 7/1/2006
Msg: 15
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:10:31 AM
Perhaps they see you as "one of the guys"? A female they don't view as dating potential.
 Troyano
Joined: 10/12/2005
Msg: 16
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:18:56 AM
I think everyone does this at one point or another. I think it is partially a self esteem and part respect issue. I think some people find it easier to talk to women/men when another girl/guy is around. So it is very easy for them to take one girl.guy out and use them as a buffer to shop for somthing else. It is a huge lack of respect on his part, not only for you, But for the other girl as well. Personally I would toss anyone that does it to you and find someone with respect.
 baldfisher
Joined: 6/7/2006
Msg: 17
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 9:28:03 AM
wow look at truthodare, what a hottie!!...oops..I...errr, sorry OP what did you say? j/k

I do agree with truthodare though it is disrespectful, specially if he previously showed interest in you.
 Terrible
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 18
Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 2:03:43 PM
I cannot thank you all enough for the insight. You guys bring up really good points.

Yes, I do have low self-esteem but my pride and willpower are alot stronger and I manage to kick these guys to the curve as soon as I smell something fishy. After reading all of your replies I realize I'm dealing with young and immature guys and I don't deserve this type of disrespect.

I do think it's a power trip on their part (like one of you said) and that they use it to manipulate me. I also can see how some may treat me like one of the guys because I'm very tomboyish in a skirt-wearing type of way. Whatever, their loss. Like Jay-z said "I got 99 problems and a **** ain't one."

I need an older man.

I'm really glad you guys helped me out! Thank you!! :)
 papajay
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 19
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Why do guys flirt with other women infront of me?
Posted: 7/15/2006 2:22:36 PM
I was thinking to myself, DOES ANYONE KNOW HOW TO SPOT A JEALOUS WOMAN... You know sometimes there are explanations for everything, and then there are times where it's just a blatant signal people give off......
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