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| American Idol
Posted: 3/2/2005 1:44:36 PM | Amazing... after checking out forum subject after forum subject, imagine my surprise at not being able to find anything related to American Idol. Well, that changes now, DAMMIT! My TIVO is loaded up and ready for bear as I get set to watch week after week of mediocre entertainment based on the exploitation of amatuer dreams of grandeur! The musings below are only meant to be my personal opinions. If I offend anyone... so what. I'm not a therapist so I'm not here to make you feel better about yourself. I'm only here for selfish reasons... to make ME feel better about MYSELF! Or maybe I'm just bored and like to write. You decide. On with the musings.
THE MEN
As always, Monday’s 2/28 program opens up with Ryan Seacrest talking about things I don’t even care about. Normally, I listen to what he has to say, but his apparel was sending such a compelling message that I became oblivious to the words and focused on the hidden meaning behind the wardrobe. If the black on black ensemble didn’t scream alternate lifestyler, the King something-or-other writing on his shirt was the insurance policy. Does Ryan like boys? His lips say no, but his wardrobe says YETH, God yeth!
MARIO VASQUEZ: Sing it baby. He loves music and judging by his outfit, he also also loves to sell icecream from a truck. The judges love him. Randy loves the shoes, Paula wants more, more, more Mario and Simon states Mario doesn’t need advice from them. Oh, but he so wants it. What about my hat? Do you like it?
ANWAR ROBINSON: First ironic twist of the evening. His name is AnWAR and he is wearing a camouflage jacket. Coincidence? Will he extol the virtues of the Bush Administration at the end of the song? I need some time to warm up to this guy. I need to get past the dreads and hear the voice. Who knew that the captain of the Jamaican Bobsled Team could sound so soulful? The judges loved him, but I wasn’t sold. Safe for this week, kids. Pass da dutchie to da next contestant, mahn.
JOSEPH MURENA: This guy is under 30? REALLY? I was so not impressed with this Tom Jones wannabe. Vocals were ok, and the dance moves… guy’s got knees like a protractor. Anytime he moved, he had to set his legs at various angles. High notes called for 95 degrees while low notes called for 130. Randy is looking for greatness. Paula says he brought it up. Simon compares his performance to something out of a portuguese nghtclub in 1974. At this revelation, I almost choked on my chourice and pepper sandwich. What an insult… to Portuguese people everywhere. What was THAT supposed to mean? Hey, you watch yourself pal. Us Portuguese folk are mighty fine disco dancers! 
DAVID BROWN: David is very likeable. This God fearing active supporter of his local church has everything going for him. Good looks, nice voice, great background and he loves his mom. What more could you ask for other than a bowl of Chunky soup? But what was with the facial expressions? He sang as if he were concerned about something, the kinda look you see when activists make up chants about saving the rainforests, or feeding the hungry in Uganda. Or maybe his facial contortions were the result of an irritable splinter. Who knows.
Randy says, “Just OK, dude.” Paula says, “The best is yet to come.” And Simon steals a few vocabulary words from the both of them and proclaims, “OK at best.” Ahhh, but good enough to be safe this week.
CONSTANTINE: Our beloved rocker chooses the karaoke favorite, 'Hard To Handle' in the style of Black Crows. He sure loves that microphone! Either that, or he missed out on the catere lunch. Hmmm, this microphone is delicious! I’d hate to be the next perfomer to use that mic, especially after it scraped his tonsils a couple of times.
With this song, either you have the voice for it, or you don’t. Constantine is no Chris Robinson. And Chris doesn't wail like a drowning cat in a shackled burlap bag.
Randy and Paula both liked him. Simon shares that bar bands don’t excite him. BOOO! Boooo for the bar bands! Ryan Seacrest stands next to Costantine and reveals, “I’m short.” (And gay! Say it! Now’s the time to tell America the truth! The ratings will go through the roof and you will feel so much better about yourself!)
SCOTT SAVOL: Ya know, this guy was my boy. He had a great, “My dad didn’t think I’d amount to anything” shtick and when he opened his mouth during that first audition, I thought, “This is the one.” But his lack of team attitude during the trio performance kinda turned me off, but there could still be hope. He’s a smooth crooner and he’s got a nice voice. I wouldn’t be surprised to see this guy in the top 3 males.
TRAVIS TURNER Travis has the moves, but this isn’t Dance Fever. When you exert that much energy into your performance, you’re bound to lose some vocal quality unless you have the lungs of a marathon runner. Travis was pretty shaky at times, but the judges liked him. Safe, for now.
NIKKO SMITH: Didn’t like him. Boring. Nothing funny to write other than this boy seems to be an aphrodisiac for Paula as she stumbles over her feedback amidst her throes of ecstasy. (Oh, yes Nikko, YES!) Simon sings praises but throws in a “you look like Bobby Brown” comment. Randy retorts that Simon looks like Whitney. The entire panel erupts into loud guffaws, totally confusing the audience, which leads me to ask A) What the hell just happened? And B) What is really IN those coke glasses anyway?
ANTHONY FEDEROV: During the preinterview, Seacrest asks if it bothers Anthony that he is compared to Clay Aiken. Personally, I would have jumped up and said, “Hell yeah! I likes gurls!” but Anthony is more reserved and navigates the waters of political correctness by stating that it is nice to be compared to someone so successful, but he is hoping to prove that he is his own artist… and a real man.
I found it ironic that Anthony would sing a song by Foreigner. Isn't he himself foreign born? Coincidence AGAIN? I like Anthony. Anyone who can get their tracheal scar to wink at the audience while they sing has talent. The judges agreed…. Not about the trachea thing, but about his performance. And Anthony will move on, and I will continue reading books about thoracic medicine.
BO BICE (Banana Fanna Fo Fice): We cut to commercial and fade away as our next contestant, Bo Bice , mouths something to the camera which appears to be, “Vote for me or I’ll kill your mother.” Bo has a rough look but a really nice voice, reminiscent of the soulful sounds of Curtis Stigers. Great stage presence, great sound on Whipping Post by the Allmans. But the boy is ugly as sin. Not only do I believe he was he tied to the whipping post, but he was severely beaten with an ugly stick. Constantine has the look, but Bo has the voice. The judges loved him on stage, so did the audience. I just kept thinking, “Man. I love them brown pajamas.” 
AGSTANG GIVES DA BOOT TO: JOSEPH MURENA & CONSTANTINE
And so it was for this week. There's only room for one standout rocker and Bo's got it locked. As for Joseph, well... maybe the higher authority will find it right and just to allow Joseph to return to crooning at portuguese discos all across the land and allow us to enjoy quality entertainment.
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/2/2005 1:51:40 PM | Ya didn't think I'd forget the women, didja?
THE WOMEN
Tuesday 3/1. Ahh, my man Seacrest! Looking dapper in a sport coat and a shirt made of... newspaper? What the hell is that red spot on his shirt? A gunshot wound? Maybe the red ink runs on the New York Post.
ALOHA MISCHEAUX: You pronounce this last name as Miss Show, but I can tell you she was definitely far from it. We start out by hearing presong babble from her about chicken making her feel good. “Is that bad?” she asks the camera? Giggle Gigglle. Certainly is...if you’re the chicken. But even chickens aren’t as brutally slaughtered by the judges as she was after her performance (we love you KFC!). Personally, I couldn’t tell if she was good or bad, the music was so overpowering I could barely hear her. Maybe that was for the best. One thing is for certain… Aloha means Hello in Hawaiian… but it also means GOODBYE!
LINDSEY CARDINALE: This cutie has a sultry voice that makes her stand out from the rest. I like the voice, but whatever money she paid to her dance instructor should be promptly refunded. Even I can charge 50 bucks to tell someone, “Just move around this invisible 3x3 square. Don’t leave the square OR YOU WILL DIE!” Randy and Paula want her to stretch her limits. Simon hated the song. Ryan reminds us all that we should be dialing 866 numbers and not 800#s. With a voice like Lindsey’s, they should post a 900#. More people would probably call in.
JESSICA SIERRA: She likes farm animals. By the looks of her, preferably baked and smothered with gravy. I don’t know what to say about this one. If she had as much talent as she did makeup, she could be the next American Idol. The judges think she’s great, with Simon claiming she is the best vocalist by far. What?? She was pitchy and the last note was way off. Are they hearing what I was hearing? Who are you and what have you done with the real Simon Cowell!
MICALAH GORDON: Micalah tells us she would like to be famous because BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. Ok, I’m done with the perkiness. Or maybe I’m just cranky cuz I got a tummy ache. I liked her spunk from the onset, but now it’s getting to be a tad annoying. I think even she realized this as she really tuned it down this week. I don’t know what to make of this chick. Is she pretty or not? And is the gratuitous showing of belly roll supposed to help me decide? One thing I can say, for a 16yr old girl, she’s got talent. “Mad props” to her. Judges agree. Can I get a pound, dog? How about 160 pounds? Woof woof woof!
CELENA RAE: As far as the idol look is concerned, this chick looks great. Cute, nice outfit but boring, or as Randy would say, “Just a’ight.” The kinda girl that would make me fall asleep BEFORE sex. Simon doesn’t see her as the next idol, claiming she would probably end up singing in a hotel. Really? I don’t remember anyone serenading me at any of the recent Comfort/Clarion Inns I stayed at. Can I get her number next time I’m traveling abroad?
NADIA TURNER: She’s singing, “My love does it good,” while I’m thinking, “My hair hides it well.” Who needs a purse when you have hair like that? Lipstick, compact, keys, and an Israeli made bazooka. Ok, ready to go clubbin! Randy and Paula were polite in their feedback, strangely subdued. Almost as if they did not want to jeopardize her chances. Simon claims it’s a strange song….and then he got violently sucked into her hair. Ok, I was daydreaming. It was a nice though, though.
AMANDA AVILA: Ohhh, Amanda. The whole latin thing is doin’ it for me. She’s like a brunette Shakira, except not as good a singer. Gimme some latin beats, dog! Randy and Paula thought she did great. Simon didn’t think there was a constant tune. I’d like to put her on a shelf (right next to the caliente sauce and crushed jalapenos) and see how she does next week. Definitely safe. 
JANAY CASTINE: “The two things I have learnt…” is that nothing beats a quality education? This girl was horrible. One had to feel some level of embarrassment for her. Not only did she look uncomfortable and distant on stage, her whole look was way off. Two-tone hair? Randy said it straight out… “Just wasn’t very good.” Paula told her she was, “disconnected.” And Simon told her she looked like she was, “watching a horror show.” I whole-heartedly agree. And if you’d like to achieve the, “watching a horror show” look like Janay, there are various websites where you can pick up freaky looking green contact lenses, just like she wears! SCARY!
CARRIE UNDERWOOD: I like this country girl. But I think she could have given it more in her performance. The thing that amazed me was the judges totally missing the point of her song. Carrie sang, “Another Piece Of My Heart” and Randy told her that Janis Joplin was hard to do. Funny thing is, this wasn’t the Janis Joplin version. It was the Faith Hill country version. All 3 judges missed this and kinda short changed her on the review. I’m confident America will realize this and give her the votes to keep her on. That apple pie goodness is good for at least a top 5 placing. (Sigh) There's nothing like a warm apple pie....
VONZELL SOLOMON: Vonzell has a nice voice but as she sang the lyric, “Some people need 3 dozen roses..” and held up 3 fingers, I realized… SHE’S GOT MAN HANDS! I haven’t seen fingers that long since E.T. the movie. When it is her time to go, will she playfully extend a finger to Simon and say, “Beee Goood?” Randy gave her a 10 for ambition, which Vonzell promptly added to her 9 for Charisma and 7 for Dedication merit badges. Paula told her she was a “fun performer” and Simon thought it was an “overcooked performance.” I don’t agree. I set the timer for 2min on a preheated 450 and I think it came out just right. With a side of mashed potatoes and greens? Hmmm Hmmm Vonzell!
And so it went… after hearing the ladies, I have to admit, the men are more talented. I’m not saying that because I’m a male chauvenist pig who thinks women should stay home and have supper ready for me when I come home to a sparkling clean house. No. I’m saying that because I’m having a more difficult time determining who the best is among the men than the women. There are quite a few good crooners among the males and it will be tough to decide as time goes on, who gets the boot. But I promise to do my best to satisfy my legion of fans who depend on my insights to win in the office pools… ok, one fan. Hi cousin Larry!
Agstang give Da Boot to: JANAY CASTINE & ALOHA MISCHEAUX
If we whittle down to 2, I gotta give the big boot to Aloha and Janay. I thought for sure Aloha was my sure thing, but after Janay’s performance… I think America would be best to do Janay a favor and send her packing. She’s still young and has plenty of time to get that high school diploma she felt she didn’t need because singing was going to be her cash cow. Mooooove on, girl! Moooove on! | |
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/2/2005 7:31:18 PM | "Ummm...just shoot me" ....... ditto with a capital D
The only thing of any interest on that whole useless hour of television is Paula Abdul
Kim ¦¬] | |
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 5 | |
| American Idol
Posted: 3/2/2005 9:04:02 PM | | The entire premise is Anti-Art/Music. | |
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/3/2005 11:24:27 AM | | i don't watch tv but if i did this would be the last thing i viewed | |
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/3/2005 3:31:45 PM | Yeah, but that's the whole point of this forum, to make fun of the ridiculousness of Fox's money making scheme. The first American Idol was an interesting concept among the whole swill of reality television vying for our tv attention. And that 1st show actually had an arguably talented winner in Kelly Clarkson. But it's old now. All other subsequent shows pretty much sucked with so many discrepancies in voting and lopsided outcomes, it became more of a comedy than a legitimate venue for talent.
It's basic human nature to want to watch, and even at times revel in, tragedy. That's why there are so many traffic jams because people just HAVE to slow down when they see a car crash because the just HAVE to catch a glimpse of that mangled appendage, or blood soaked car seat, to make it worth their time crawling at 5mph while sucking in carbon monoxide in large doses. The majority of the people don't slow down because they hope things are ok and that everyone is ok. The majority of folks WANT to see the horror.
And so it is with American Idol. Every week people get brutally criticized, even ridiculed to the point of rendering them to tears. People who take their singing seriously, and actually felt they had a chance at greatness. All of sudden... it's over. The dream has ended. Not only are they not getting the big prize, MILLIONS of people across country KNOW they aren't getting the big prize. And that's HILARIOUS! Let's face it, If I'm gonna fail, I'd like to do it with as little people as possible knowing about it, keeps what little esteem I have left in tact and allows me to better roll up my sleeves and try again. But when it comes to the misery of others.. just human nature to want to watch. 
That's why I watch. Not because I'm rooting for my favorite as a gambler roots for their horse to win, place or show. Nah. I pretty much have my picks nailed on who will fail. This whole text message voting thing is monopolized by the bubble gummers (females ages 11-16) who have nothing better to do than to hope their 74 texts sent in a 2hr period will make a difference. I've never voted and wouldn't waste my time. The voting process sucks. My picks were dead on, but only 2 of my 4 picks got booted because "America" thought a little differently. Personally, I don't see any of these folks as having the talent to sustain even one record deal. But, it;'s all about the ratings and all about satisfying the human need to watch others fail.
You should watch and see what I mean. You just may see the proverbial mangled arm or a bloody car seat. Ya never know. | |
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/5/2005 6:45:31 AM | | Australian Idol is better its all about the talent and our artists are more laid back | |
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| American Idol
Posted: 3/5/2005 8:18:26 AM | If there has been one thing that can be pointed to for the sense that the music scene (and by that I mean recording) is going through a decline at the moment, I'd say it was the idol phenomenon.
There have always been 'industry created' acts...from the Monkeys through to the Britney Spears stuff...but idol makes the distinction of celebrating celebrity, and removes all but the bare bones of artistic expression from the mix.
Do they have fantastic voices? Yes, often enough, they do. But this does not win and besides, after a point perfect voices begin to sound very similar. I like distinct voices, Neil Young, or Tom Petty, or Melissa Etheridge...these idols (sic) have no distinction, but rather solely perfect tone/pitch.
The songs they sing are made for them...the albums released by the winners almost always a 'product' waiting for a cut-out vocalist to fill (with requisite good looks usually to sell, sell, sell). They are industry created but also industry pumped and primed for weeks, with the idol show nothing more than a glorified infomercial for the future product.
There's no celebration of the skills, is there an american idol for guitar players? Bassists? Drummers? OF course not. Songwriting? No...because all the audience wants is an 'image' on a stage (and perhaps its eye candy, perhaps its to make fun of) and even better, a 'judge' to tear them down (because we like celebrities, but we also like to see them fall).
The end result?
An audience that forgets why they listen to music, and pays attention only to the desperate clawing at the golden ring of fame.
Sure there's great music being made out there, but it just got harder to 'break' because so much more of the pie got spirited away to Idol winners...it's a franchise that's slowly eating at what little creative efforts manage to filter through into mainstream, commercial radio music.
Sad too. | |
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Joined: 1/9/2005
Msg: 12 | |
| American Idol sucks
Posted: 3/5/2005 1:40:10 PM | @Woodrow
If one takes an honest effort to look passed the surface of things like "idol", they'll find a whole lotta' nuthin'
It's undeniable that things like this "taint" culture in general, aside from being a detriment to music.
Good reply. | |
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| American Idol sucks
Posted: 3/5/2005 2:16:44 PM | The record companies want some cheap "talent" I guess...
..."talent"...lol | |
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| American Idol sucks
Posted: 3/8/2005 9:10:44 PM | Man, I thought last week week was pretty boring. Either this is the worst American Idol to date, or it just isn’t a well-produced show. When do these folks start getting charisma? Top 6? I’m struggling to stay awake during these segments… 2hrs of my life I will (insert ominous echo here) NEVER SEE AGAIN…AGAIN…AGAIN..
This week, the Top 8 Guys and Girls strut their stuff and once again the guy talent completely blew the girl talent out of the water. (NYAH NYAH!) Here’s how it panned out.
THE MEN
SCOTT SAVOL – Scott’s been getting some sound advice in style as he dresses conservatively in black, complete with shades lent to him by JLO via Randy’s connections. But Scott looks more like a Catholic Priest than an American Idol. What is that hanging from his neck? A holy scapula? Is that Saint Jude? Now what would he need the saint of desperate causes for?
Randy asks, “You know what I like?” Uh, cheeseburgers and milkshakes for breakfast? Who cares? Scott is definitely safe this week.
BO BICE - Bo has shed some of his rocker image, catering a little more to earth tones of yellow, green and orange. Which looks nice on a dying tree, or if you are dressing up as a bottle of Golden’s Mustard for Halloween… but not on a rocker. Bo sings “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain, a song that has been brutally massacred by people in karaoke bars since it first came out. People whose friends don’t have the heart to tell them that they sound like dying sperm whales on a deserted beach at low tide. This song is not for everyone, but Bo does a great job with it. The right song for him… and he should be safe.
ANTHONY FEDEROV – If my name was Federov, I think I would go into politics. I think it would be nice to have a republic named after me. Republik of Federov. And then I would walk in wearing a cape with those big brushy things on my shoulders, and people would hail me. All hail Federov, they would say…. Maybe I'd even get to wear a helmet. Hey, who’s dream is this? Not Anthony's. The Geek is safe.
NIKKO SMITH – ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz. He hit a high note. Let’s keep him. But only because we know of 2 others worse than him… and he did hit that high note.
TRAVIS WHATSHISNAME – I still think this guy shoulda got the boot last week. I am totally on Simon’s side when he said he was a dancer first, vocalist second. This guy was all about the dance moves… so much so that he sounded breathless at times, throwing off his pitch and timing. Paula thought he was, “pretty special.” I think Paula is “pretty insane,” but that doesn’t stop her from appearing on TV. Unfortunately, we can’t vote Paula off. But Travis….
MARIO VASQUEZ – Mario has a new look, very conservative. He wants to show us his “other side.” Other side meaning alternative side? Alternative is the synonym for “other,” isn’t it? Mario has a really great voice and marketability. When I mean marketability, I mean with his shape and hair, he could easily be made into Pez Dispenser. One flick of the thumb and you could sing like Mario. Hmmm… a Chia Pet Pez Dispenser. I like it! And I invented it first! BACK OFF!
Mario will be safe because all the mom’s in America will call in and vote for him. He’s like a member of a boy band going solo. Hey, wasn’t he in O Town? Ah, well. The girls liked him. They all gave him a standing O, making him wonder, “So this is what it feels like to be hetero.”
CONSTANTINE – Paula and Randy really liked him, but I couldn’t figure out what was special. I think he’s lucky to be here. Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic by Sting? Pitch was off, blend wasn’t there and even the timing was off. He’ll never survive the theme weeks, so why make him suffer?. Do him a favor and save him some dignity, America! Send the boy home!
ANWAR ROBINSON – Anwar shows us all that it is still cool to wear a turtleneck in California, no matter what the outside temperature is. Slow start, strong finish (I caught it in midsnore). A safe bet to stay on.
AGSTANG GIVES DA BOOT TO: Constantine and Travis. As Randy would say, "I'm not feelin' it, dog. And it only gets tougher. If these guys stay, I swear I’m gonna find a way to hack into AT&T’s database and get the name and address of everyone one who text voted for these two and pay them a visit. This aint no party, this aint no disco. This aint no foolin around! Let's start voting for real talent! | |
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Joined: 1/15/2005
Msg: 15 | |
| American Idol sucks
Posted: 3/8/2005 9:14:20 PM | | why is there a thread on american idol?? good or bad,,, this should not be. what would jesus say now ,, common??? | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/8/2005 9:15:33 PM | THE WOMEN
Ugh. Listening to the girls this week was like pulling my hair out and then trying to stick it back into my head with a crochet needle. Let’s get this over with.
AMANDA AVILA – She still sounds good, she still gets me hot and I love that she borrowed the outfit Kate Beckinsale wore in Van Helsing. She played it safe in attire and song selection. But I’ll tell ya… I was more excited about the winter storm advisory rolling across the bottom of my screen than hear here singing some obscure song I couldn’t recognize. C+ for her and a big F for the never ending snow storms.. Man it sucks to live in New England!
JANAY CASTINE – The girl I predicted should have got the boot last week has done no better this week. Granted, she ditched those freaky lookin’ green contact lenses (unghhh…. Brains… BRAINS….) but the vocals just aren’t there. Her hair looks nice, and she has nice eyes….but, even if you spray perfume on a piece of dog crap, it is still what it is. Dog crap. NEXT!
CARRIE UNDERWOOD – Ok, this whole astrological theme really is starting to annoy me. Each of these contestants has to talk about their sign as an intro. Who is sponsoring this segment, the Freemasons? Carrie tells us she is a pisces “which means fish and I like to fish and can bait my own hook, blah blah blah, but fishing can be painful and fish are people, too, so I throw them back, blah blah blah.” Oh my God. Can you imagine this chick in bed? :”And I always practice safe sex and use a condom? Are you wearing a condom? You should because they say whoever you sleep with you are really sleeping with all the people they slept with, and um. That’s like really bad…” AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (jumping out of bed, running through the wall, leaving an outline of my body like in a Bugs Bunny cartoon.) I was turned off before she sang the first note!
And she isn’t a bad singer, one of the better singers in the contest. Just too much wholesome goodness for me. Like putting 10 spoons of sugar in my coffee.
VONZELL WHATSHERNAME – I can’t remember her last name, just remember Vonzell. Vonzell tells us she likes to “excape” reality and go somewhere in her mind. I would like to “excape” people whose parents never corrected their children’s bad pronunciation of simple verbs. Please don’t “axe” me any questions, I don’t believe in violence. But I do believe in the conservative approach of a safe performance to get you through one more week. Lucky you.
NADIA TURNER – Hair like Guarini, voice like Fantasia. This girl has one of the best packages I’ve seen in this competition. Look for her in the top 3 girls, unless you are too busy looking at Simon’s man boobs (or perhaps another package all together? Hmm?)
LINDSEY CARDINALE – I can’t even remember what this girl sang. All I remember thinking, as she sat on a stool on stage, was “WOW! She’s got some big ass feet! What are those things, Himalaya Size 9s?” Simon says she’s like a musical version of Ryan Seacrest. (You mean she’s short and wears a wall clock for wristwatch?) So, I’m thinking that is an insult. Yep, judging by the “unscripted” banter between Simon and Seacrest, complete with water play, I’m right. Please. The last thing I want to see is Simon in a wet t-shirt. NEXT!
MIKALAH GORDON – Isn’t this the girl that auditioned as if she were doped up on amphetamines, ecstasy and No Doze? What happened? Did someone mistake her for wild elk and hit her with a tranquilizer dart? Maybe after all is said and done we’ll see an E-True Hollywood Story. Mikalah Gordon: Behind The Mascara.
Mikalah took a risk on this one. The range was way too low. But she wasn’t falling for Paual’s Jedi Mind Trick!
Paula – You love Barbara Streisand
Mikalah – I like all kinds of music.
Paula – But you love Barbara. I sense it. You admire her. SAY IT! SAY IT!
JESSICA SIERA – I love her voice, very sultry and smoky. Nice for ballads but very nice on “The Boys Are Back In Town.” Fun song to get the crowd alive after the sleeping pill Mikalah dropped on us.
I particularly liked Jessica’s look. She kinda looked like Peter Pan with VERY NICE BOOBIES. I know the women will say she only wore low cut stuff to get the audience going and get the votes in. To that argument I say…Are you nuts? Do you actually think heterosexual men are out there voting? I mean, I’ll watch, but I’ll be dammed if I’m going to waste 60 additional minutes of my life dialing an 888 number to listen to a busy signal, or spend a dime on a text message. I can’t even remember the number anyway…. All I heard was, “If you like Jessica, then dial 1-888-Boobies Boobies Boobies.”
AGSTANG GIVES DA BOOT TO: JANAY CASTINE & LINDSEY CARDINALE
Let’s face it, Janay is overdue and Lindsey… well… what’s to say about Lindsey? I’ve already forgotten her performance. It’s like Chinese food. ½ hour later, you’re wondering if you even ate anything. And when your stuck on the phone for 60min listening to “All circuits are busy. Please try your call later,” you want to be able to remember the person you’re actually voting for. My advice? Don’t even bother voting. Let the bubblegum crowd handle it. Call up and order Chinese food instead then call me, cuz if you got Crab Rangoons… I am so there. | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/10/2005 11:01:51 AM |  Ok have to admit it, I like American Idol...
I am glad to see some in the competition...Some folks are just so darn good they should be there others well you just gotta wonder.....
For me the one that makes me say YES, awesome voice WIN....Jessica has a great voice...a bit too Nashville Star for me, but still she has a pure voice as does Carrie...I wish them both the best of luck....
As to the men, lets get real....I think Anthony has a great voice...But so does Mario...I am a rocker at heart, so gotta luv my Rock guyz, however this is not the place for them...I couldnt believe that Constantine would leave his ROCK band for this show...Insane...and Bo, well he is great, got that gritty rock voice...But these men should be fronting bands not on American Idol....
I will watch, I didnt like anyone last year so I didnt watch...but I was very pleased to see Kelly Clarkson win, and of course a big fan of the Velvet Teddy Bear Reuben....
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/10/2005 12:52:32 PM | Once again, another travesty has taken place, as my little jalapeno Amanda waves a tearful farewell. If only I could lay her head upon my chest as she heaves sobs of sorrow, all the while my hand stroking her hair and saying, "There there... I think you are beautiful..."
Where was I?
Oh, yeah. Janay and Travis. No surprise there... but COSTANTINE? This guy is proving to have more lives than a cat stuck in a burlap bag on the Hudson. Maybe he's here for pure entertainment value. I'd love to see how he and Bo fair on Big Band night. What the hell is "America" thinking?
It must be excruciating for these folks to wait for their number to be up on stage each week. People like Costantine and Lindsey should wear a shirt next week with a bullseye on it. I'm wondering why they don't sing any farewell songs like they did the 1st elimination week? | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/10/2005 3:26:54 PM | | the whole show sucks.......i don't care about any of the singers on the show......i don't care about the d*mn judges......simon looks like an idiot......paula abdul looks more slutty than when she was singing........randy, looks like a stupid chocolate bon-bon thats about ready to burst.......ryan seacrest?.......he is so d*mn popular he got his show canceled......4 idiots that have no clue as to what music is or what music is about=american idol.......but simon that guy just sucks ass, he is the worst judge anybody can have for a show..... | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/14/2005 9:33:24 AM | Yah, what's up with that? Mario actually had a good shot at winning the whole thing. Maybe some illicit shots of him with another man had surfaced on the net and he was being blackmailed by the Mob to dropout to increase the odds in Vegas?
I dunno. Rumor has it that he didn't want to be locked into a contract. Who does this guy think he is? | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/14/2005 9:42:22 AM | | he stated personal reasons but when they interviewed his mother she said the family wasnt having problems and she didnt have a clue why he quit and the last time they spoke he was very happy...something fishey going on with this one...he was really one of the best ones.....but in turn I can also say that Nikko should have not gone before some of those horrible singing women...but I guess since the rules changed they had to keep 6 of them..the men rule this year..if one of them doesnt win somethings up with this show! | |
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| THE WOMEN SUCK EVEN WORSE
Posted: 3/16/2005 7:38:37 AM | Well gee I think Last night the first REAL IDOL show was kinda a suprise for me....
Constantine was surprisingly good....
disappointed in most of them cause they all were down right off....
Nadia was good too...
Gotta give it up for Bo...go rocker go...
and well not sure why Mario had to go, but Nikko did a bang up job...
the 60's werent so bad....
somebody please tell Scot he is white!!!!
somebody please tell Micalah she sucks....I hate her [NANNY; Fran Dressuer] voice.
somebody poke and prode these people into getting with it and trying to win the competition... | |
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