| definitions of "cheating"
Posted: 3/3/2005 10:13:49 AM | To me it's dependant on the situation...
Cheating is doing something with someone that you should only be doing with your signifigant other, is that right? Okay then - being that I've been with my other for 5 years and in that time she has not gone down on me ONCE (i wish i was lying) i have NO problem getting it somewhere else. It's like this - if I could come home and get it from her, than getting it somewhere else would be wrong , I believe that. But when she isn't giving it how could it possibly be "cheating" to find another source?
Any thoughts people? | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 10:27:55 AM | to me cheating is doing someone behind your back.
even in an open relationship. tell me about it or invite me. lol | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 10:34:16 AM | | Cheating is cheating...............the end. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 10:36:56 AM | how true.. Cheating is screwing another person when you are dating someone..
when you are with someone you should be with that someone and nobody else... it doesnt matter what you are getting from that person (or lack thereof..) but there is never an excuse to go screw someone else.... | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 11:38:14 AM | Ok, so let's change this just a little bit...
Let's say that your wife wants a black**** Your profile says that you are white. So if YOU can't give her a black**** would it be wrong for her to go get that outside of your marriage? Would it be cheating?
What in my scenario really differs from your situation? Perspective, or rationalizing?
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Posted: 3/3/2005 11:45:47 AM |
to me cheating is doing someone behind your back.
even in an open relationship. tell me about it or invite me. lol
I'll buy that for a dollar!  Its actually what helped to ruin my last relationship...she went behind my back with women we had 3somes with...against my SPECIFIC instructions to NEVER do anything behind my back!! Her reasoning was..well...we both have been there so how is that cheating?? Uhhh...DUH! Because I wasnt there and I told you NEVER to do anyone without me!!!  | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 11:51:06 AM | well personally it would be wrong for your wife to do that... I mean she married you for you not for your anatomy..
but hell if you are into that sort of thing you can share your wife with another man but personally that is just morally wrong to me | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 11:53:24 AM | | You got it whip......cheating is being dishonest. No matter the circumstances surrounding a relationship! | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 11:59:45 AM | | I think it's being dishonest and hiding a liason with another person.If it's open thing,the other person should be invited or at least consulted. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 12:39:25 PM |
Cheating is cheating...............the end.
I agree completely....
Cheating to me is being intimate with another person....no matter race/age/gender....cheating could go as far as having sex and could be as little as an intimate telephone conversation.....I believe that it can be a physical thing or an emotional thing.....which brings up another question.....if all of you that say that cheating is "screwing someone else" then what is going on a date with someone other than your significant other? is that cheating?
I believe it is...but I may be wrong.... | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 12:40:54 PM | ^^^ I agree 100%. Perfect description! | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 12:46:26 PM | | we all know what cheating is. some ppl just lie about it, like using miscommunication as a barrier. whatever. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 12:54:47 PM | okay Silly Boy - you've got me there... but there is still a major gap...obviously i can't give her a black****- but i can make a reasonable offer.
What I'm getting at is that if her and i are together another 1000 years I won't get a blow job - which really isn't that big of a deal, okay?!!? It's when she asks me to go down on her (and being a fool i do) that it starts to bother me...isn't a big part of sex the physical pleasure? maybe the only part sometimes...point is - somewhere along the line you get to lay there and do NOTHING - NOT A GODd*mn THING - but feel good. Let somebody get you off, right? Okay - I've gone down on her more times than I can count and don't even get so much as a hand job in return...
Maybe I should just go get an overpaid counsellor. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 1:01:30 PM |
What I'm getting at is that if her and i are together another 1000 years I won't get a blow job - which really isn't that big of a deal, okay?!!? It's when she asks me to go down on her (and being a fool i do) that it starts to bother me...isn't a big part of sex the physical pleasure?
if you are together for a 1000 years and you still can't talk to HER about it then you have much bigger problems!!! as for "physical pleasure"..yes it's part of it but with my partner and I it's more about the emotional or mental connection that makes it hot....not the physical....don't get me wrong...it's amazing.....but alot of it is more the intensity of it all not just physical pleasure........
my opinion is though that maybe you should be having this conversation with her instead of with us!
my two cents | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 1:03:20 PM |
Maybe I should just go get an overpaid counsellor.
This statement is almost one I would agree with. But I would prefer it to say...
Maybe I should discuss my feelings on this with her, then, maybe WE could go to a counsellor together. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 1:04:43 PM |
Maybe I should discuss my feelings on this with her, then, maybe WE could go to a counsellor together
thank you...my point exactly!!! | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 1:25:55 PM | If you're married and she isn't satisfying you, you really need to be able to have that trust that you can talk to her about this. you don't want to have to look elsewhere but if you aren't satisfying each other, why be together. If you want it to work, you have to put lots and lots of effort into it. Go find some different things, some different oils or something, you know..you only live once, and that is who you chose to marry, people don't generally change that much.
I'm hoping that when I'm 80, I'm doing most things I am doing now without the worry of disease and stuff  | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 2:02:47 PM | well first off I much appreciate and respect everyone's opinions and input...
now i'll ask a different question:
why are yall assuming I HAVEN'T talked to her about this? She knows how I feel...I straight out told her...mmmm....probably 2 years ago.
F the godd*mn counsellor...i'll find a contortionist instead! | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 2:09:57 PM | | cheating is to decieve. be an ethical person and break up with her if she won't satisfy you. or get her to agree to an open relationship. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 2:10:06 PM |
why are yall assuming I HAVEN'T talked to her about this? She knows how I feel...I straight out told her...mmmm....probably 2 years ago.
F the godd*mn counsellor...i'll find a contortionist instead!
An old saying here.
When everyone is talking, no one is listening.
Have you ever tried just sitting there, snuggled together on the couch, watching some TV, and paying attention to her. Then, after an hour or so of this, during some dull time (this may take a while to get through), tell her that you have a question you would like to ask her. Then, ask her why she doesn't choose to go down on you. Bring her into a conversation, and listen to her reasons. AND, be prepared for whatever her reasons may be. You will have asked her, and if she opens up, don't attack her for her reasons. You can work on progress later, after you have left the channel of communication open. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 2:37:06 PM |
Cheating is cheating...............the end.
Exactly......
Cheating doesn't just mean having sex with someone else, its confiding your personal feelings, hopes, and dreams with another. Seeking approval, comfort, and companionship with someone other than your significant other. Spending all your free time (or even alot) with someone other than your spouse. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 2:49:01 PM | You know i was actually with someone who told me she thought you could have sex and it not be cheating, as long as they're was no kissing involved......that was pretty much the last time i choose to see that girl. | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 4:51:20 PM | | That's unbelievable. The mind wasn't cheating only the body was? | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 6:38:02 PM | Is it cheating when, "it" comes out ??? lol ..... what about when the "nipple" makes an appearance?
enquiring minds......... | |
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Posted: 3/3/2005 7:39:07 PM |
Cheating is doing something with someone that you should only be doing with your signifigant other
This is pretty much it in a nutshell. Cheating is doing ANYTHING that you should be doing with your significant other, whether it's having sex or having intimate conversation. Personally, I think it's more difficult to deal with the emotional affair than it is the physical one.
My ex cheated on me 3 yrs into our marriage. I thought that was the most difficult thing I'd ever been through...UNTIL it happened again 8 yrs into our marriage.
Do you know what the difference was between the two? The first time, it was JUST sex, nothing more, nothing less. It hurt, but knowing that men are physical beings, I learned to forgive him for it and move on. The second time, it was much more than just sex, he was sharing personal things, intimate things that only I knew. THAT was much worse than just having sex.
Cheating is sharing yourself physically, emotionally, AND/OR psychologically with anyone besides your significant other.  | |
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