| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/19/2006 9:05:32 PM | I have few questions that I have on my mind I must really need help understanding. I have this male in my life and he thinks he always right. I admit that sometimes I can be wrong; I just wish he can admit he can be wrong. I am not the type of person that who would say I told you so. My first question is, yes I answered them so you can see my answer on my frustration then I can get my answer to my frustrations so I can get relief on it.
1 Can males and females be friends without sex? I think so if they are honest from start that it will only be friends and nothing more. We both agree on this but some reason I can find downside to males and females cannot be friends where females would sound like they only want to be friends but deep down inside they want more. An example a boyfriend who goes to bed and one of his female friends called is it wrong to have a female friend to call that late if she knew if he had girlfriend and he has to get up early for work. I just wish that other females would respect the fact guys can have girlfriends. Males and females can be friends if there respect and honesty
2 Why do females chase after guys who have gf/wife? Yes even guys can chase after someone who with a bf / hubbys? I think it because when you chase after something you cannot have, is a challenge. I think is wrong to break up a couple even if you think there not happy. If you have profile on website and you say single and you dating someone. People will think you are single and looking but if you put dating or single and not looking then it honest. If you lie on profile that you are single and looking to date when you have someone already then I would think if they lied on there status of there relationships what else did they lie about on profile.
3 What is meaning of cheating? I thought it was having sex with another person when you are in relationship. According to Male that cheating is having one night stands with someone that you have no intention have nothing more than sex or intentions of having a relationship with, when you are already in one. If you love someone truly there is no excuse to cheat. Male told me a story of his friend who slept with a girl when he being engaged to his girlfriend, his friends said it was not cheating because he said it was only one time and was plainly only sex. I said it was cheating it do not matter if only sex or not it is not right. Even if he so horny he has two hands and washroom to fix his needs, he didnt need go find some girl who can give him an STDs or AIDS or both. Either way he cheated or the Male disagreed saying his friend did not cheat.
SUMMARY I do have one true male FRIEND in my life he treats me nice and care. The male in my life cares as well but we have some disagreements on some things which I know is normal to have agreements and disagreements on things in life. He just thinks that there are no such thing that his friends that would backstab him or lie to him. Opps he had a girl lie to him about her status say she single then finds out she had a boyfriend and then she put living together on profile. Hmmm she lied on profile about status what else did she lies about. Why would a girl be so nice to a girl in front of guy but when guy leave she gets all nasty even she only just friends with the guy. In the end it is hard to find a true honest friend. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/19/2006 11:16:46 PM | It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right. - Friedrich Nietzsche
1) See When Harry Met Sally. I disgree with it wholey but its good for a laugh on that very subject. Yes males and female can be friends. Friendship is just as emotionally rewarding as a relationship however in a very different way. People don't realize this for the most part and become focused or single minded on a 'higher level' of interacting.
2) It's a matter of a show of confidence. I know from my own experience when in a relationship I seem to exude a sense happyness and bounce in my step. It should be deemed a sense of self respect to turn down an approach of that type. It isn't worth losing a relationship and the bounce in one's step.
3) Flawed logic may be able justify anything. However as it is flawed logic is exactly that...flawed.
Summary: Agreed. I myself had a twenty year friendship and a ten year relationship flushed down the drain by poor choices not on my part. Disappointing as it is there has got to be movie rights in there somewhere. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/20/2006 12:41:07 PM | Well one of my best and dearest friends is a man. But he is pretty, so does that count? And no, he is strictly a hetrosexual, lol. Of course men and women can be friends without the sex or even the sexual attraction. It is nice to know you can talk to someone of the opposite sex and know what is going on and what they perceive as the problem to fix.
The #2 question, I honestly cant give an opinion on that. I know plenty of married men who chase the single girls because to them, they arent getting that "flattery" at home or that "respect" that a single, seemingly unattached female in the bar is giving them.
The #3 question, so many things can constitute as cheating. Someone in my past used to accuse me of cheating with a male friend because this male friend would rub my back, with my clothes on and nothing sexual, strictly my back. This male friend was a masseuse and the person accusing me of cheating wouldnt rub my back, my feet or touch me in any way other than the strict sexual way. But he could have dinner with other women, just him and the other woman, and not talk about business, but to him, that wasnt cheating.
To me, anything to do with the "sexual" nature. Anything more than the one-armed hug, peek on the cheek. I guess, I would have to know the person and know how they interact with others before I could really accuse someone cheating.
To your problem with your friend who is always right, I have found that most people who are ALWAYS right, no matter what -- are dangerous people. They are the ones who tell you "I told you so" when you f&ck up, they are the ones who have the black aura hanging over their head when you are around them and sometimes, they are so negative about everything. It is their way to bring you down. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/20/2006 4:26:58 PM |
I have few questions that I have on my mind I must really need help understanding. I have this male in my life and he thinks he always right. I admit that sometimes I can be wrong; I just wish he can admit he can be wrong.
This person can cause a very bad effect on your personality, and well being.
Cheating is defined as an act of deception, fraud, trickery, imposture, or imposition. Cheating characteristically is employed to create an unfair advantage, usually in one's own interest, and often at the expense of others. Cheating implies the breaking of rules.
It depends on whether the basic agreement established, or pre-established has been violated.
Why some people go after married persons or when in a relationship..???
Level of personal values.
Your last paragraph is confusing, I don't get it.
I don't get what you mean when you say: "the male on my life....." but you are looking for a man to date..............confusing.
That's my insight, hope it helps. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/20/2006 5:33:43 PM | after taking a break and naps inbetween reading your post... I agree with the 2nd (or is it the 1st?) post to your post... that being okiedokietxxx's post, he always has good advice.
take care. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:15:14 PM | | I PUT "the male on my life" CUZ OUT OF RESPECT I WOULDNT NAME HIM | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:30:44 PM | 1. Yes, men and women can be strictly friends. BUT... that is not to say that there won't be some element of sexual "attraction" somewhere in there... even if it is deep down.
2. The challenge. If you say a woman can't do something, 9 times out of 10, she'll do it just to prove that she can.
3. The best definition of cheating I've heard was: Cheating is doing something that you wouldn't do if your partner were there. Cheating in a relationship can both be emotional and physical. If you are going outside of your relationship to find something that you see is missing from your relationship, then that is cheating. | |
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| advice plz thanku
Posted: 7/23/2006 12:51:18 PM | 1. Definitely! Maybe some people can't have those type of friendships themselves, but that doesn't mean that no-one can.
2. Not a clue. It could be similar to the way that when one person sets up a clothes shop in one street and has some success, five more of the same set up nearby to share the customers. Or the existence of fashion? Short-termism and lack of ability to do more than follow?
3. I think cheating is one kind of betrayal, and there isn't a universal definition (although I'm sure most people would feel that what you described was a betrayal). Different people have different ideas of exactly what betrayal is: you need to find out how the other person defines it and decide whether you can accept that or not. And he should know your definition of betrayal too, so that whilst he might be able to claim "it's not cheating", he can't claim that he didn't know you'd feel betrayed.
If you're frustrated and can't talk to him because he's insisting on being right, then I think there's something basic he's getting wrong.
If he's right about *everything* get him onto predicting Lottery numbers. | |
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