| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:42:05 AM | Recently I read a profile of a lady in the area where I live and she wrote, "NO ITALIANS." Being of Italian descent I was a bit taken aback and thought, "Wow, that's kind of short sighted." I mean I know many people of Italian descent and it's not like they can all be lumped into one category in terms of physical appearance.
I do realize we all have preferences in terms of body type, height, race etc. I won't date smokers, just a preference. However, since Italians come in all sizes and shapes I thought it was very short sighted comment. Perhaps I am reacting because I am of Italian descent. I'm curious if other posters believe this to be a bigoted statement or just a matter of personal preference. When you look at a profile are there certain ethnic groups you believe exhibit characteristics that make you immediately cross them off of your list? Just curious.
And if this person should read this post, no we are not all members of the MAFIA (Mothers And Fathers Italian Association), I've never had a relative who either put or had put a horse head in his/her bed. And I do talk with my hands but only in bed. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:45:47 AM | She is an ignorant person who doesn't want to share her pizza.
When you read something like that feel sorry for them or laugh at their ignorance don't take it personally. They are the ones in need of help.
Ciao. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:46:27 AM | People do have the right to say what they want with regards to a choice for a Mate.
People need to realize that there are all kinds of people in all nations. Usually a college in a major city and travel will educate people better. Very often it is just that the person does not have to the time to spend to sort through everybody in a nation or cultural group to find the exceptions. I have known the exceptions to many nations and cultures, but that does take time and travel.
We all have the right to say what we do and do not like an not be ridiculed by those who are afraid of the social-mob. Individuals tend to tell the social mob to get lost.
Narrowing one's Mate selection does save time. You have to use words to say that. The days of grunting are long over. We have to be articulate and use words which define. It's not personal, and your feelings should not be hurt.
We are all individuals. We have the right of freedom of expression and choice.
| |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:47:09 AM | Umm...she must've had one helluva bad experience with the dreamy, hottie, romantic sorts. 
My sweetie is italian, and wow---just WOW!  | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:49:21 AM | | Hi Athletic, thanks for the reply. Actually I didn't really take it personally it just made me think that some people's parameters can be bigoted and they don't even realize it. As I said, we all have tastes and preferences in what we like and dislike. I guess there is a fine line between being selective and being unreasonable. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:53:19 AM |
She is an ignorant person who doesn't want to share her pizza.
I was thinking more, she's tried the pizza... but the sausage on top was bad, so she's never going italian again... | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 7:58:15 AM | The thing is don't take it personally.
Even if you took it personal, that is your own projection upon her.
The thing to remember, is follow her lead, perhaps change and improve your own profile. Very often when we are hurt, it's because we had the expectations. Looking at ourselves and genuinely reflecting that in our profiles helps us avoid heartbreeak and find happiness.
You know one man does not fit all. People are beginning to define themselves as individuals with the Internet. It's not the 1980's mass markteted mob consumer anymore, we are defining ourselves and it's a shock sometimes.
Italy runs from the Alps with Swiss looks and culture, to Sicilia with a Greek type Mediterranean culture. Never underestimate cultural diversity. Some people just know what they want.
Italians were some of the earliest Pagans, so it's not even safe to associate Christianity with them.
| |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:03:08 AM | I hope she reads this thread. She can send all the Itailians my way!
Luna
 | |
|
kyleW
|
Joined: 11/4/2005
Msg: 9 | |
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:07:00 AM | Who cares? i mean really.
Was it that big a deal that one person mentioned in their profile that they don't want an Italian that you had to run to the boards and post it?
Roll with it. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:09:14 AM | | I'll never understand how people can be that way. I do find it to bigoted. And completely her loss. | |
|
| |
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:16:47 AM | | Actually, rainbow is probably right. She must have had a bad experience with an Italian or more and it's emblazoned into her psyche. It's well within her right whether we feel it is warranted or not. I don't know how many times I come across people wanting their same ethnicity only. I do not understand this concept since I'm a mixed breed, but that doesn't make their preference wrong either. It's just that - their preference. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:19:10 AM | | Who cares?? I mean really. Its a personal preference. Not all races or ethnic groups are going to love all other races/ethnic groups. Hey,,,,that just makes for more Italian men to go around for those who would date Italians. lol | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:20:22 AM | I do find it to bigoted.
To find somebody bigoted means to have intolerance in your heart.
We must respect all individuals as diversity is made from individuals. We must Love eachother and respect eachother.
 | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:22:21 AM | hey.. i find i can understand her, somehow, somewhere. not dating ppls from certain country might not only becuse a bad xp.. maybe the food, the culture... other things. do you belive you can stay with a person eat pizza all the time and you hate pizza? i dont go out with muslim and islamic people... they dont eat pork, and i m not willing to stop eating pork, in a long run when the lust or love is fading.. all these things actully matter.. just my opinion..
karlia, hope u all good luck | |
|
| "If Italian need not apply"
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:24:21 AM | "She means that she dislikes mama's boys and Italian males tend to be that.
That and they are arrogant and prejudice. Their sisters are mouthy, meddlers
and the other relatives. She has a right and you cannot use the race card to make
her be unhappy in her goal. "
I know plenty of guys who are mommas boys with meddling families and their not Italian! I think anyone who wants to close there options like that are just making it harder for themselves. Lets face it it's hard enough when your open to anything.. It's just a bad case of stereotyping. Everyone is allowed to have a prefrence but you would hope that people wouldn't be ignorant enough to assume that a race has only one specific set of qualities. My boyfriend is Italian and I wouldn't trade him or his family for anything in the world. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:36:30 AM | Gee - I would have reported her as an escort and had her deleted off this database. She can date who she likes but it's not necessary to be rude....  | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:40:04 AM | it's not necessary to be rude
Disaster relationships happen because the two don't want to be rude. Honesty is rude.
I've told women we can't marry because their eyes are not blue.
How rude is that? It's dating. Tolerance is our ability to accept different views and ideas.
They ask why and I explain. Very often an explanation is what makes the world go around, it's called communication between cultures.
If a person does not say why they don't like you, then that is rude.
Rude is not giving people the time of day. Rude is not taking the time to explain to write.
Dating is a rude business. It's always a shock and it's always good to define yourself so they don't get shocked after 8 months. What's really rude is to lie and take up their time and then thell them the truth after 2 years, that's real rude.
Dating is a rude business and we try to make people understand and be kind. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:42:53 AM |
I won't date smokers, just a preference. However, since Italians come in all sizes and shapes I thought it was very short sighted comment.
Ummmmmmm....maybe it's just me ~ but like Italians, smokers also come in all sizes and shapes.
I think she's exercising her personal preferences. Why be offended,???? Click....new woman. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:46:30 AM |
She means that she dislikes mama's boys and Italian males tend to be that.
That and they are arrogant and prejudice. Their sisters are mouthy, meddlers
and so are his other relatives. She has a right to her preference and you cannot
use the race card to make her be unhappy in her goal.
I've dated a lot of Italian guys in my life and I've never had this experience. Do you know any Italians? Of course she has a right to choose but to post it so in your face isn't necessary is it?
Luna | |
|
vivid
|
Joined: 6/30/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:53:47 AM | People would be more offended if she excluded members of a visible minority.
Italians, Greeks and Spanish people are pretty much the same;
I think she simply has issues with Italians - maybe she's French and the World cup
still echoes in her head. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 8:57:26 AM | The same in what way?
I've known entirely different Spanish, Italians and Greeks. Totally different in every way and shape. Remarkable people. Stunning and unusual people from the Tyrol to the Basques. Every eye color, every hair color, every shape and form, every religion, for all three of those countries. Rare and unique people exist in every nation, never stop searching.
Remember many country borders are only lines, some are geographical which does create the diversity. Intrepid people have crossed them for ages. | |
|
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:01:49 AM | I have often been asked if I am Italian. I am not, but have never taken it as an insult.
Judging someone by their nationality is what has caused many of the wars in this world.
I have dated men from various ethnic backgrounds, and although some of them were not the nicest people, I have never based it on their nationality, but more likely their upbringing.
A wise friend once explained how having a closed attitude is actually foolish. They basically stated that if we saw a flower for the first time and it was red and we then thought all flowers were red, how we could miss the pleasure of all the colours flowers came in.
I'm not sure if the person who's profile stated "no Italians" was meaing to insult all Italians, but I do feel sad for the fact that the particular Italian she was refering to must have hurt her enough for her to say that.
As for dating being a rude business, I think that is a far worse attitude than the "no Italians" comment. If you feel that way, then why would you want to be on a "Dating Site"? | |
|
| |
| If Italian need not apply
Posted: 7/22/2006 9:06:48 AM | Here are my two cents. Some people are attracted to Italians. Some people are attracted to Africian Americans, etc. Each to his/her own. Not everyone wants or is attracted to the same type of people. Thank the Gods for that as it would make for one hell of a boring world. Some people prefer blonds, some redheads....We should not take offense for this person having a preference. It does not make this person a bigot, a racist or whatever else we want to call her. She just does not want Italians.
As for me, they make great Italian shoes so I love them...
~Carrie B. | |
|
Home
login 
