| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:22:05 AM | | This is a difficult thing to write about for me , but plentyoffish has been such a wonderful outlet for venting feelings for me, so here goes. I have a very dear female friend who has this tremendous need to recieve male attention. She in the past year has spent every weekend we have gone out together working the room and quite often taking home a new and different guy each week. This never really bothered me until some of the guys became emotionally involved with her. She has hurt two really nice guys she lead on and dumped. She very recently started seeing a good male friend of mine who she started up with the same weekend she dumped another guy. Both of these guys are long distance relationships so she was still able to play around close to home without anyone being the wiser. Tonight she went to far. I recently started seeing someone. She knows I really like him she even told him that he better not hurt me or he will have to deal with her. Tonight my friend spent the whole evening flirting with my guy. He had a bit to much to drink and he was flirting right back. He told me that he sees why she goes from man to man that he is even attracted to her. He did leave with me , but my feelings are so hurt by her actions. I have been seeing him for over a month now, and felt we were off to great start. I am not good with confrontations , please may I have some words of wisdom. :( | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:24:09 AM | Does the term MANKILLER sound familiar?
I have a friend like that - she latches on and ruins em...
In my opinion...she ain't no friend...
Squeak | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:30:01 AM | | Your gonna have to distance yourself from her.....to be blunt. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:35:33 AM | i agree with squeak ... if truly your friend, she would not have done that. it didn't sound like either one respected how you feel, and respect in a friendship or relationship is an important factor in making it work or not . best of luck hun in the decision you make | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:36:36 AM | | More times than not you will find a person like this is not a bad person but just lost or misguided and in neeed of a helping hand of a close freind.If you can I would say talk to her and find the reason for this and then try to help her confront the problem and fix it.This is what true freindship is about.In the she is only urting herself.This ought not be | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:41:18 AM | Dove, hon........
Next time you talk to her, be calm
......but be blunt and tell her what you think of her.
You deserve FAR better "friends" than that.
Really. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 1:45:18 AM | Real friends dont make you feel crappy...even by "accident"
I wouldnt hang out with someone like that if i were you. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 3:13:37 AM | There is a difference between an ‘acquaintance’ and a ‘friend’. say goodbye...
 | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 9:09:36 AM | | Your friend isn't a friend. Also if your boyfriend made such poor decisions after some drinks, then I doubt he's a keeper. People blame lots of stuff on alcohol, but in the end we're responsible for drinking it. Hopefully he will look back some day and realize he screwed up and not do it to the next person. | |
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Happÿ
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Joined: 12/19/2004
Msg: 10 | |
| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 10:46:39 AM | Ok, so you know she is a slut. And now you know that your new guy isn't opposed to flirting with a slut even in a new relationship and right before your eyes.
So she did you a favour and he did you a favour.
Run away....very fast....just run away from both of them. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 10:54:58 AM | I don't know if I can help, but I've learned through life, even people you believe to be true friends, never quite value that word as so very few of us do. Learned over a long period of time.
Jeff | |
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craww
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Joined: 2/16/2005
Msg: 12 | |
| Betrayed like the others
Posted: 3/4/2005 2:44:03 PM | hi dove,
i can understand her flirting with your boyfriend, and him being taken by it, it's her way, she is an expert at it.
her way is not very nice, though. she just uses people, and conquers. she doesn't care...but you weren't bothered by it till she did it to you. you should have been bothered by it long ago. oh well...
i had a friend once that was a thief liar. guess what, eventually i got robbed!
i should had more sense. | |
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mudbug
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Joined: 2/15/2005
Msg: 13 | |
| Betrayed like the others
Posted: 3/4/2005 2:53:28 PM | | is it possible that you were being ultra-sensitive and maybe that she was not being clingy, just herself? | |
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| Betrayed like the others
Posted: 3/4/2005 3:08:35 PM | | hey craww, the same thing happened to me before. i even set the guy up and he took the bait. then would lie to me about stealing the money. we were the only 2 people in the building and he denied taking the money. so i guess it's wise to be careful who you call friend. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 3:20:18 PM | | hi dove, for the most part she really isn't much of a friend to do that to you. you need to follow your heart. if you really care about this guy, you need to talk to him and let him know how you felt about the situation. if he blows you off, then he's not worth having. as far as what happened, you did say that he had a lot to drink and to me, she took advantage of the situation. see what he has to say and if he is truly sorry, then you ought to give him another chance. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/4/2005 6:37:05 PM |
I don't know if I can help, but I've learned through life, even people you believe to be true friends, never quite value that word as so very few of us do. Learned over a long period of time.
That's a very hard lesson, but the sooner you learn it the better off you are. True friends are VERY rare blessings. That's one of the things that stopped me from going to church a long time ago actually. I learned that things aren't always as they seem. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/5/2005 4:35:18 PM | | Thank you all for your comments and advise. Someone had mentioned her behavior did not bother me until she did it to me , which was not the case at all . I did not question or condemn her lifestyle for casual sex until she started hurting people. If all participants know from the get go that this is for sex and sex only then its their choice to make. I did talk to my boyfriend the next day and he feels like there is something wrong with her. I commented that if she had the opportunity she would have tried to sleep with him regardless of my feelings. He said he would not have happenned. I do not want to lose her as a friend but I have decided to let her know she hurt me alot . Friends do not do this to friends. I believe someone else may have mentioned that perhaps i was being too sensitive to all this , but other friends noticed her flirting as well. My other friends and I would watch in amazement as she chose her nightly target and had him captured within moments. We would even joke with her about her *skills* .Soon it wasnt funny anymore when I found her outside kissing another friends boyfriend on a night she didnt come out with us. Even though there is alot of good in her there is something thats not right. She shows no remorse when she hurts someone, it should be interesting to see how she reacts to my feelings. She has invited us both to her house for dinner and movies on Monday night , I am not feeling comfortable now about going. There will be other friends there . | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/7/2005 11:41:53 PM | | I sent my friend a heart felt E mail . I let her know how she hurt me and called her out on some of her behavior . I wrote the letter choosing my words carefully as to not hurt her feelings. The result was that she left me a phone message and essentailly told me that if she is such a bad friend then i do not need her in my life, she said goodbye and wished me a good life. We have never had a disagreement before this and she is willing to just toss our friendship aside. I am so hurt by her actions and now her reactions. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/7/2005 11:48:34 PM | Friendship is often something that is proven over the course of time. Just like the strength of any relationship must be proven over time.
I don't like calling people friends unless I feel they deserve the title. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/8/2005 10:36:56 AM | | Knight , I truely thought she was a friend and a good one , Ive learned alot about her this last week. Its up to her now , I will no longer try to keep the friendship going even though it saddens me to do so. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/8/2005 4:17:09 PM | Dove,
As with any loss, mourn it and move on. Just remember that you are mourning the friendship that could have been.
As for the guy, just talk to him and guage his reaction to your words.
Pay attention to his facial expressions, breathing, where he looks and what he does with his hands. This tells the story! | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/8/2005 4:39:13 PM | | dove i can tell you were sincere about your friendship with her. sorry to hear it had to end like it did. it appears that your friend does have other issues. i know it hurts when you lose a close friend like she obviously was. sometimes we don't know people as well as we think we do. especially when you were trying so hard not to hurt her feelings and she came back at you the way she did. she really doesn't care. maybe in time she will think about what she did and out of the blue call you up one day and tell you how sorry she is for the way she treated you and ask your forgiveness. you also know that the possibility exists that you may never be friends with her again. only time will tell. it sounds like you both run with the same friends, so it's gonna be hard to avoid her. maybe one day things can be worked out after things calm down a bit. it's always better to try to salvage a friendship then to throw it away. i agree with you though, the ball is in her court. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/8/2005 8:17:22 PM | I had a casual "bar hopper" friend who did the same thing. I would spot her across the room and leave.
Even if I didn't like the guy sitting next to me, she assumed I did, so she would hit on him and then tell me how great he was the next day. They were in "love" blah blah blah...
One time I was set to leave town for a business trip and told my guy to watch out for her - that she'd be crawling up his leg next. I told him how many men I knew her to be with and that was enough for him.
I told HER that if she tried it - I would knock her two crooked front teeth straight.
He told me on the phone a couple of days later that she tried and he turned her down.
I finally convinced her to marry the guy she'd been financially using for 9 years and that crumbled within the year. But he needed to learn the hard way - cause he couldn't see past her boobs.
Poor slobs who **** these women. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 7:06:58 AM | | Today my friend is moving to Tallahasse to start a new job. I wanted to call her to wish her well and had to stop myself. We were suppose to get together in two weeks to go to two parties in Fort Walton beach and Pensacola. I am still planning to go to these parties , and its going to be a very akward situation being there with her and she not speaking to me. In april we are going to cabin in the mountains in Georgia. Once again a very akward situation, 16 friends in a cabin and she givng me the silent treatment. Her boy friend who is a good friend of mine says she will not even discuss me at all , he will try to get her to mend fences. Thank goodness this has not effected our friendship. I introduced the two of them. I am just praying she does not hurt him. My boyfriend has been very supportive about this situation with my friend , he has felt awful that he played a part in this at all. He even talked to her boyfriend on my behalf to let him know that it was indeed she who was doing the major come on to him. My take on the situation is this , my friend thinks very highly of herself she has created this persona that she has come to believe herself.She Believes she is a perfect invidiual that can do no wrong. I have tarnished her pefect image and this is too much for her to handle.I miss her but Que Sera Sera, what will be will be. | |
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| Betrayed again .
Posted: 3/10/2005 7:15:54 AM | Girls like that don't deserve friends like you.
She'll learn, when she's all alone. Which is why I kinda feel sorry for 'players', because I've seen it over and over again. When the games over, they are all ALONE.
Why? Because nobody trusts them. They have nobody to fall back on except for people that are being fakely kind to them out of sympathy. When deep inside they knew what kind of aweful behavior they portrayed.
You sound like a nice woman, so I suggest if you are going to let your man drink, make sure you are the only one around. I see something bad happening if you don't.
Too much booze makes people not think streight.
Take care. | |
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