| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:06:08 PM | Met a guy from another site. Back in either the fall or on a warm winter day (don't remember when but we met at the Philadelphia Art Museum, he brought me a hot chocolate - with whipped cream just the way I like it....)
We hung out on the steps, took a walk around, enjoyed the view of the river...kissed at the end of the 'date'/meeting and then after that, I didn't really hear from him. Not right away anyhow..a while later, he IM'd me and told me he had some 'ex issues' and that's why he hadn't been in touch...
Now a couple weeks ago he contacted me again, through IM. Said hi..etc...and that he was sorry he hadn't been in touch and that his 'ex issues' were now over. I didn't answer his IM but a few days later, I emailed him...basically saying 'ok..if your ex is completely out of the picture, and you want to go rollerblading or do something, let me know' so he emailed me back and said.."sounds like a good idea" IM me.
I didn't even remember his name. But again, he IM'd the other night...and asked if I wanted to go out, to a bar near him, I told him I couldn't (I had work to do) and then he and I were talking about doing something soon...like rock climbing or going swimming and I said ok. So we made plans to go swimming (I have a pool, but it's leaking so we can't go swimming at my house) now..on Friday he IM'd me and I told him how I was planning on joining a gym, and wanting to hire a personal trainer, well he offered to take me as a guest to LA fitness and I did, and I joined. He showed me the cardio stuff, we also went shopping for gym gear for me (before we went to the gym) and he offered to help me set up a routine (he's a certified trainer himself, also is a lieutenant in the Army, (a ranger..and special ops) but only in the national guard. His F/T job is working for the gov't training people (not sure exactly, he's a bit quiet about telling me EXACTLY what/where he works)
So, anyhow...here's what I'm not sure about
1) if indeed he really ended his 'ex issues' because here's the strange thing...he didn't give me his number (although months ago, he did and I deleted it) he gave it to me so when he calls me I'd know it's him, BUT he said it's his work cell and his Captain will give him crap if he uses it too much
2) He is in the process of moving...bought a house and makes settlement in August. So he says he doesn't have a phone yet, not until he actually moves in. I think he's staying with his mom, or a roommate, not 100% sure.
3) We've only communicated via email and IM. We haven't yet talked on the phone at all (I had given him my number when he re-contacted me)
4) Is he yanking my chain...not really single...and just tyring to get a little on the side.
He's not married, no kids..and 28. I'm divorced, 2 kids, and 39. He knows my history of having had breast cancer...and about the other above stuff.
Tonite, after he gets done work (he's on 4-12) we're supposed to meet and go swimming...
Now aside from the fact I'd love to get wild with him..(however I'm not like that) and I'm very, very attracted to him...I don't want to be played..I enjoy his company, he's funny..cute, smart...but I'm not sure I should trust that he's really unattached. And that's cause of the phone situation thing!
Any thoughts?
Thanks in advance! | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:19:23 PM | Should you trust your instincts! Which, by reading between the lines, lead you to many doubts. Remembering what it was like to be male and 28, I'm inclined to suspect that the risk is a lot greater than the return.
However, if you know the risks and are prepared to accept them, going in with no expectations is a good way to have you expectations exceeded.
Either way, don't spend time second guessing yourself. That is the only no-win propostion if you've balanced possible outcomes.
Good luck.
Doug | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:20:54 PM | ^^^thanks
someone who was once very dear to me told me that...never expect anything and you won't be disappointed. I forgot about that!!! | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:25:18 PM |
I think he's staying with his mom, or a roommate, not 100% sure.
We've only communicated via email and IM.
Well, one thing I know is to trust my instincts. That "little voice" in my head 99% of the time is right, just I don't always listen and get burned later if I don't. The "not 100% sure" thing bothers me, did you ask him?? He should be able to give you an honest answer to that, and if he can't then I wouldn't trust him. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:27:45 PM | | What do YOU think? My only advice would be to pay attention to your gut feelings. They're almost never wrong. Whenever I ignored mine, it would always come back to bite my a**. & learn another lesson the hard way. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:33:25 PM | | Trust your gut instinct ..I'd say that he definately has a phone!!Who hasn't these days,my grandad is 93 and he does!! I think you know that he sounds a bit dubious!!........ | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 1:55:47 PM | | Major red flag! Sounds like he is married or maybe living with a girlfriend. He wont tell you where he works or give you a home number or even personal cell number!? Whats he hding? Definitely something. Insist on him being upfront with you, before you set yourself up for a possible disappointment and heartbreak. You will regret it if you dont since you already have suspicions. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:02:37 PM | Well, first of all, don't ask HERE!!! 
We are all on this international system grovelling for dates and you want our advice? Most of us are divorced, at least once. We sit at home on Saturday night and clean out closets. Don't ask here!
Seriously, you are a contingency plan. He still wants his current hen and like every rooster around he is looking for available hens if that doesn't work out. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:08:12 PM |
So he says he doesn't have a phone yet, not until he actually moves in. I think he's staying with his mom, or a roommate, not 100% sure.
This right here says it all. He is hiding something. Everybody has a phone, or at least private access to a phone. If he is staying with friends or his mother, why can't he use their phone? I'd move slowly here. jmo. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:18:39 PM | Obviously your instincts tell you not to trust this guy but you are still attracted to him.
I would try seeing him but not building up big romantic ideas about it. Just keep asking him questions in a casual way and see if you can't get any straight answers. If you do then maybe the whole situation will resolve itself in August. But if he continues to be evasive and you can't contact him even after he's moved, then trust the little voice inside that says he's hiding something. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:34:50 PM | I'm surprised he didnt say he was in the CIA
it sounds like your gut is giving out warnings...listen to it | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:38:10 PM | | In my experience when I've not trusted my instincts, it's bitten me in the ass every time. Pay your instincts heed - they're telling you something for a reason - that's not to say don't get involved with this guy, just be cautious. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 2:45:49 PM | Something doesn't feel right here...but see how tonight goes and I'm hoping the best for you....maybe the "age thing"...I only say that because he's younger than you and no kids and your situation, probably at his age, is something he's never had to deal with before. But my fingers are crossed for you because there are really good guys out there.
All the other "girlie fishies" out there....if you haven't heard from him at least 3 times in a week...come to the conclusion.....he's "Just not that into you" because if he was...his fingers would be burning telephoning you or emailing you.
All the best anenigma. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:02:30 PM | I agree with the other posters...trust your gut, it won't lead astray!!! However I do work for the military, have for 2 years now...I did work very closely with special forces...I can tell you this, he HAS TO BE secretive about stuff...Being 28 and a LT sounds bout right...but regarding what he does...ya he has to be secretive, I am guessing that, he is training special ops...however come to think of it, I have NEVER heard of a reserve special forces unit, however I can be wrong.
The thing is you got 3 choices,
A. Kick him to the curb...
B. Wait it out and see if things change in August, like a phone number and what not. (Or arrange to pick him up, say something like oh I am going to be in your neighborhood the day we go swimming, how bout I come by and pick you up?) That reaction you get should tell you alot.
C. Throw all caution to the wind and run with it!!!
Either way, here is not your answer...
Hugs annette | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:25:02 PM | ^ Yes Annette, having had a DoD clearance in the past, all I can say about that job is "I worked with computers" -- which is what I do today (its my 'career', no mystery there). Certainly there are reasons to not talk about "the job", especially in the military.
But that didn't stop me from, say, giving a GF my phone#, or calling her on the phone, or telling her where I lived. I'd probably give out my phone# before the first date, at any rate, so she'd have somplace to call if she was going to be late or something. Where I live, ok, I'd probably wait for a couple of dates to know if it was going anywhere. When someone is *too* secretive, without a good reason, it sends up all kinds of "red flags" to me. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:25:47 PM | Hi
From my experience any guy who doesnt give you his number, is hiding something. Unfortunatley Ive been through this situations a few times with men Ive met online. So my advice is give him the benefit of the doubt but take things SLOW, date other guys and when August rolls around get his number. If at that time he has another excuse you know hes full of crap.
Hope you don't get hurt! Take it easy! | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:44:55 PM | I am picking up what your throwing down, singleguy!!! Just I know some of them were scared of that...but either way your right...red flags!!!
Before I worked with the military and the special ops, I never really got it and I don't think I lot of people who don't work or experience it do...that is why I offered that...
But red flags....
hmmm
Hugs annette | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:44:57 PM | You ppl are all so cool today!!
TY so much...
Now the odd thing is..I'm not quite sure what my gut instincts tell me. When I told him I was joining a gym, he was really into helping me out (I had told him I was going to hire a personal trainer, and he told "don't do that...I'll help you, I work out with you"...'join my gym and we can work out together' which I did do (but not because he belonged there, because I liked it better than Bally's and my nephew also goes there) He had told me he was certified as a trainer and had actually owned a business doing it at one time. When he was asking me about working out, he asked me the same questions the trainer at Bally's asked me, so I do believe he was a trainer. As I believe he's a ranger since he has "RANGER" tattoed on his left arm, and the patches they wear in his car. Also, each time I went out with him, he had a big army duffle bag in his backseat and I asked him why...and he said "Because I can be called and required to be there immediately" and I said "you mean to be activated?" and he said "yup"......
I did ask him flat out "Are your ex g/f issues over" and he flat out said "yes" and I asked him if he was still friends with her, talked to her" and he said "not at all".
He used to train people in his job, now he's doing something else, he did tell me that much.
As far as the phone no. I DO HAVE it. He just said "here's my number, but you can't really call it cause my Captain will get pissed off" so I do have it. I replied, "well, no worries, cause I don't call guys much at all, if I DO call them"
Ok, now here is the sucky part. Friday night I went out with my friend (she's also divorced)
to a club, had a GREAT time...got drunk...(lots of appletini's) and guess what, I just wanted to talk to HIM at the end of the night!!!
Sheesh, I hate when that happens!
Right now, I am just taking it casually. When we went to the gym Friday, when he drove me back to my car, we said goodbye...and no kiss. (that was ok, made me think he wasn't just out for a piece) the problem is his BIG ARMS and CHEST!!!! OMG, they make me weak! ha ha.... 
This is one of those times I wish I was a 'ho...so I could just rip his shirt off!!!
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 3:50:06 PM | Dear OP - Give him a little more time. I suspect he'll fall into one of the catagories that you listed in the thread "Who do you attract?" You've got a definate pattern to your love life. I read the thread about your ex also, but didn't post. You are one of those people that continue making the same choices, expecting differen't results. You're an attractive Woman. Your life is getting too short for this kind of shit! Take care.
SUBLIME | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:06:05 PM | I think you need to decide if you are in love with him, or in love with the thought of him, due to his age, looks etc.
We all are attracted to others based on these factors but we have to, as hard as it may seem, step back and look at the total picture.
So if he is "activated", he has to leave right away, that sounds funny unless he is Americas secret weapon for the war on terror, or James Bond.
And as far as a tatoo, a child can get a the word "Ranger" tatooed on their arm with parents permission.
If you have to ask if you are being played then you know the answer, now it is up to you, to accept or challenge.
And just for curiosty look inside his duffel bag, might just find a few answers, and this weeks laundry. | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:27:25 PM | Hey Cougar...just ask singleguy...that is how the special ops works...really stinks for the loved ones. They get a call and they go now...no questions asked and nothing being told.
I once had this special forces guy on the table, I am a nurse...him a patient...he was undressed for a procedure...and like numbed up and everything...his phone went off and he left with just that gown on and grabbing his clothes...LOL it was hilarious...nice butt shot thou...
Anyway they do leave like that...but ya if it smells like fish, it probably is...
hugs Annette | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:34:16 PM | His work with NASA test flying back-engineered ET space craft has obviously eaten up his time.
Doesn't sound to promising from here. Your call, but how many alarm bells do you need? | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:37:27 PM |
Hey Cougar...just ask singleguy...that is how the special ops works...really stinks for the loved ones. They get a call and they go now...no questions asked and nothing being told.
In the reserves? | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:55:29 PM | hmmm I am not too sure actually about that...good point...I only worked with activated ones...but then again I never heard of special ops as a reserve unit, either. You may have a point about that...when I go to work tomorrow, I will ask one of my friends who is in the special ops...see what he says...hopefully I will remember!!! LOL
Honestly the reserves recieves orders and generally they have a particular length of time to get things in order to be available...So the special ops things might be different, maybe he was doing his reserve weekend and wanted to sound tough!!! LOL Not sure....
Hugs annette | |
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| Ok..Not sure about this guy...
Posted: 7/23/2006 5:07:06 PM | You have already convinced yourself to believe whatever mahco man with the big arms says, so why are you asking?
I NEVER believe anybody who claims to be in an elite fighting force. I never went beyond basic Airborne, but while in there you develop a certain amount of quiet condfidence and it isn't like an real elite force member to use it to score chicks. Typically a move by guys with no confidence and need to bolster their opinion of themself.
Wish I had a buck for every "Navy Seal" I have met..... | |
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