| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:17:59 PM | Seriously after a crap brake up how long does it take for the pain to go away? (u no the butterflies, the sick ffelin in ur stomach, the heartache etc...) coz im gettin pretty fed up of it and want it to stop! grr
bf split with me 2 weeks ago he has already moved onto another girl...close friends think he may have met her b4 he split up with me...but i dont no! the thought of them tears me apart!
now surely u lot out there have been through similar experiences...so "wen does it stop hurting"? | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:19:39 PM | | When it's suppose to. Not the answer you were looking for I'm sure, but every person is different, every relationship is different. I would assume if this person meant anything to you...it would still hurt since it's only been 2 weeks. Take time to reflect, review and draw the good that you can from your relationship. Than thank your ex for letting you go, so that you can gracefully move on, to someone that wants you. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 4:22:15 PM | Hi Becky,
I've been seperated now for 8 months and counting. I feel your pain, I know pain oh so well. It doesn't seem to go away as fast as we would like it to go. I still have the pain--but, it's getting easier every day. I have met some wonderful men on here that are kind to talk. I thought there were no such thing as good men--but there are! Just my advice, take it slow--let time heal your wounds--have faith in God--he's been my helper and healer of my heart. Try to concentrate on the good things in life. Read alot--helps me alot(LOL). Your true love, happiness will come again--just wait for it. Never loose hope! | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:30:07 PM | I just broke up with my boyfriend a week ago today...he had been cheating. So I understand completely about wanting the pain to go away. From past experience it took me a good 3 months to feel better. Although longer than that to stop thinking about the ex everyday. I'm hoping that because this time he was such a sleaze that it will be easier to get over...but so far....no.
Wish I could offer more help than that... | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:46:58 PM | | It'll stop when you find someone else to play with and focus your desires upon. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 6:56:03 PM | | I was wondering this myself...I'm going to a friend's wedding in 3 weeks, and just asked my ex to take the kids so I can actually go out and have some fun at the party after. He said maybe we'll get a babysitter, because he wants to go too. I can handle that. But I'm totally not ready to see him there having fun with his new young girlfriend. It's been almost 4 months, and while I don't want him back, and don't love him anymore, it still hurts. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:01:54 PM | It doesn't baby cakes you will always remember the love you had. I just broke up with a beautiful tall model type of woman. The kind you would see reporting the news or walking down the runway.
But she's gone now I had to let her go she stopped responding to my emails.
:crying: | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:14:02 PM | It will stop hurting when your relize the truth, YOU know it but will not face it. When you move on with your life and find a person who will respect you. When you learn to do things for yourself and treat yourself. Note that no matter what YOU ARE A GREAT WOME.... Not that LOVE HURTS. it will normaly stop after 5 weeks then by the 9th week you have all his stuff out of your life. all the memorie's..
It took me 9 months for my last.... So it varies..
Some men it will take 2 yrs.. i have dated 3 of them.. lol They never get over it not even with a new women.
some women can not move on but most with in a few month when someone you know makes you feel special again. When you know your family, your friends and the world loves you for you. then you will not be upset anylonger.. You be you again.
I will do a special pray for you to easy your soul 2 corinthians 12:8-10/Hebrews 12:3-13 this will ease your soul.. Pastor Jewels. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:22:08 PM | So I have been told "It takes a long time to fall in love with someone and even longer to fall out"
Its been over a year and a half and it still stings | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:38:32 PM | | i broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years exactly one month ago, it hurt like hell but i feel alot better now, everyday gets easier and it helps to know it really is his loss. If he couldn't apreciate what he had someone else will. goodluck to you and it helps to be optimistic about the future. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:42:52 PM | I let the relationship go, in a matter of days...One step at a time. Believe in yourself, believe you will find love again, and believe in happiness again. I use to wake up every day thinking about him. I was called into work the day he moved out, and worked on the stat, the day after, so it was meant to be...not so painful...
The only thing(s) I want back from him, are the friendship, which I know will take time, maybe a few months, if I give him the time and distance that he needs, and the coffee grinder, that he said he'd replace...then we'll sit down and talk...even then, time will be a great healer being apart....I admit though, there are still times that I cry, missing what we had, but we both know that the memories will be in my heart forever, so hold on to that...for as long as you want, because you are allowed to. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:46:54 PM | | Ending a relationship is sometimes a long process. Find other things to do. Take a craft class or join a team - do something nice for yourself... | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:53:53 PM | | and make sure you can delete any pics of him/her you may have. trust me it doesnt help. to this day i look at her pic every morning thinking it will ease the pain. but it does the opposite and i still cant delete them :( | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:57:27 PM | It varies. It's only been 2 weeks, so that isn't a lot of time for you to heal. He is with someone else, and that hurts even more. How the hell could he push you out of his life and move on so quickly right?
The only piece of advice I can really give you is to stop all contact with him. If you continue communication, it will only slow your healing process.
This is normal. Lots of people (I'd venture to guess almost everyone) feels sick to their stomach, is emotional, etc. My last girlfriend took two months to get over, at least.
One more suggestion: Don't jump into anything else right away. If you still have feelings for him, you need to let those fade, and to get back to yourself. You're still very young, and have many years to find "the one". Obviously, he was not it. (Not that saying that really helps your pain right now. But when you DO find the right now, you'll be glad you and this guy broke up... believe me.) | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 9:57:49 PM | after being married 8 years, she ditched, found a guy in mexico...no-one in the family knows exactly when she fell and smacked her head.
I spent months crying myself to sleep, wanting the pain to end. I found myself looking for something else to pour all my time and attention into...it may not be the same for you, but luckily i have two wonderful girls, and a shoes fetish. i think the turning point for me was to find someone...anyone to talk to...and get my emotions out in the open where i could deal with them.
i wish you all the best. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/23/2006 11:03:55 PM | It stops when YOU put a stop to it. I know that may not sound easy or even like it's not possible but it IS,
you can choose to get past it all and move on or you can choose to live in the past/pain of the past.
Too many choose the latter and choose to become angry, bitter, jaded, shutdown untrusting unopen unaccepting individuals,
open your mind & your heart, find a sense of who you are, and where you want to go, who you want to be, and allow new people & experiences to move you into a new "you" while having a little fun, and allowing you to rise above it all~
You're young and you'll get past it in no time IF you allow yourself & choose to do so~
tell yourself EVERYday,
you deserve BETTER than him, and any BS in life that he casued you -- because -- "you truly do"~
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:12:30 AM | | i dont know when it will stop hurting but the bad thoughts of killing her and buring her in a corn field dont seem to go awayand whats worse for me is im letting her live in my house in the guess room so my 12yr daughter has both parents in her life but after 18yrs of marrage then to be stabbed in the back by what was suppose to be my best frind and parntner in life is very upsetting | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:26:34 AM | Hi becky
I still feel the loss of a 10yr marriage sometimes beven now a yr later but it has never stopped me doing what i wanted to do.
For him to do that he wasnt right for you so come to terms with what was your ex and find someone new, you will be surprised how quickly the hurt goes away when u find the right one | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:18:19 AM | The stronger the love, the longer the pain....add in if there was deception, cruelty, unanswered questions, or betrayal, which can be worse to deal with then the loss of the person its self, sometimes we can't see that though till the pain lesses some. No one can tell you how fast your heart will mend, Sometimes when your heart is broke so bad that it littery aches the only thing you can do is take it day by day, sometimes, minute by minute, cry if you need to cry, let it out, its all part of your healing. Surround yourself with things to do, friends and family, and what ever you do don't let your ex boyfriend keep hurting you, he wants to end it, then stop all communications for a bit, tell him you need time to heal its to painful to see him and stand by that for you, don't call him, or contact him, his rejections will only prolong your pain. Keep telling yourself, you are gonna get through this and you are gonna be ok. One day down the road you will realize your nothing thinking of him every minute any more, then you will see your heart is mending.
Rain | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:40:24 AM | Becky
In most cases, time heals all wounds. But in the case of love and not being with that person anymore, time does not heal wounds, time will give you the truth!
Focus, focus, focus on getting to know you again. Put your head space elsewhere. Do all the things you have been wanting to do, set some goals. Most of all, don't jump into another relationship, until you have dealt with this. Relationship baggage is not a good thing.
You will still feel the pain until YOU are ready to move on, moving forward gets you where you need to be. I believe in backing up to go forward, deal with what happened and learn from it all. Everyone has come into our life for a reason, figure out the reason and it does get easier for you.
Good Luck to you and may you find the happiness and love you so much deserve. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 5:54:20 AM | I honestly thought it was just me. Although from what I've read...I seem to be the slowest healer.
Its been two long years for me....and I'm not really any better.
My case is slightly different than the average though...as I had a small business with the man who broke my heart.
We started it together and built it up to profitable...then he ditched me and went back to his "soul mate" that he dated 4 years earlier.
I was trapped there. Due to legal reasons...I couldn't walk out of the business.
Two years of living hell watching him and his true love "build their new life together".
I finally was able to walk out 2 months ago....all the legal matters had finally been cleared up with the business.
I thought I would walk out the office door and be magically healed.
*laugh*
Nope....still hurting.
I don't think your situation is quite so bleak as mine.
Surround yourself with friends and family...that's what really matters. And don't let yourself sink in to a depression!
*hug* | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 6:56:18 AM | | becky..it takes a while for the pain to go away...how ever if he as moved on so should you...and the sooner you do the sooner the hurt will fade | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:22:02 AM | | rainskiss has just posted a thread on here entitled "10 Things To Help You Deal With a Break-Up." I've read it and I agree, she has some excellent advice.....we could all learn from it. Best of luck to you. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:33:25 AM | Hun!
If he found it easy to move on then obviuosly he doesn't love you, or feel the same way you feel for him. It is difficult to look at any man with attraction when you're heart is hurting, but I find that at least going out and dating again helps a lot. You don't have to look for another relationship, what you need is distraction. Don't stay at home and cry, try not to think to much about him and keep your mind and your day busy. You'll slowly begin to realize that the thoughts of him will become less and less. It is a good time to make friends and don't let any man talk you into anything at the moment. Right now is your time to heal, and be true to yourself. Your ex does not deserve your tears. | |
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| WHEN?does it stop hurting?
Posted: 7/24/2006 7:46:38 AM | It never stops hurting, but the pain will dull, and you won't think about it all the time...
Not all men are scum. You will find someone who treats you better, and you don't deserve anything less. | |
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