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| | Teens and drugsPage 1 of 3 (1, 2, 3) | | OK well here is my problem. I have 2 teen boys 16 &18 . I have already suspected that my 18 was using but finally he came clean and said he was. But it's just pot he says. I have tried to expalin that there is no good reason to use any drug. He claims that things in this town are so boring that there is nothing else to do. He lent a buddy $50 and now has had fist fights to get it back. All drug related. I am trying hard to let him grow up and learn on his own. But having been down that dark lonely road myself I am probably trying harder to prevent then from going that route. I am no angel and I tell them of my mistakes. hoping that they would really listen. My 16 yr old son watches everything his brother does and they are so close that they will not talk about each other to us. Is any one else out there going through something similar? Any suggestions.? | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 9:09:40 AM | | Keep doing what you are doing - communicate!! You may never be able to stop them, but you can plant a seed of right and wrong - so hopefully the decision they make one day will be a good one. You may want to collect some information from your local health department - brochures etc. - bring them home and have the boys read them. They have some for parents with hints and helpful answers like you are seeking as well. | |
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Hezron
| | Joined: 12/15/2005
Msg: 3 | |
| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 9:14:47 AM | | I would not personally suggest providing information that comes from the government. For many, particularily youth, that is often tantamount to endorsement. Just a thought. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 9:52:21 AM | | Want to do something for them and you? Volunteer at an addiction recovery center. They'll get a good education that way. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:55:02 AM | I'd preffer my 16 year old does pot over alcohol. Stoners rarely fight, never feel they can drive better then the Andretti's.
Did you ever do pot?
I love the way people forget about what they did when they were young.
Pat | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 10:59:54 AM | ^^^^ She didn't forget and she has shared that with them!!! Have you been smoking today? Here is her quote if you can't find it.
I am trying hard to let him grow up and learn on his own. But having been down that dark lonely road myself I am probably trying harder to prevent then from going that route. I am no angel and I tell them of my mistakes. hoping that they would really listen. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 11:02:29 AM | ^^ Ummm Stoners get into fights & many become @ssholes. My sister was one & one day I beat the snot out of her cause she attacked me for no reason! The guy I recently dumped was a stoner & he became agressive aswell.. always talking about how he wanted to kill people who made him angry!
You can't drive a car properly Stoned either.. just talk to MADD.. The OP already admitted to doing wrong in his past & doesn't want his boys to take the same path.
I say keep doing what your doing.. it might sink in.. My sister is a lost cause, shes all messed up now. My mom would try to help, she just ignored everything. Atleast when you try, then you can say atleast you tried! | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 11:30:14 AM | Just a couple of suggestions... (I suppose from a teacher's perspective more than anything...)
1. Above all else, keep talking to both of your sons.
2. If he is still living under your roof, you call the shots. It's one thing to let your children explore and learn from their own mistakes, but it's a whole other ballgame to condone or allow it to happen, especially under your own roof.
3. Is your 18 year old still in school? There are STAR counsellors (maybe under a different name depending on the board) for students who are entering or have already sunken into the dark depths of addiction, whether it be alcohol, drugs or otherwise. Refer them and let them talk to another adult other than a parent. I would also suggest that your 16 year old become more informed about it.
4. I love the idea about them volunteering some time in a setting where they would have access to those who have experienced what addiction can do to you. A wake-up call! To graduate from high school you already need 40 hours of service to your community, but even if they've completed that then keep it going! Find both of them something to do so life isn't quite so "boring" as he claims it to be... He'll be educated along the way and you never know, it just might even inspire him!
Good luck! | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:27:56 PM | Well Thanks people .
Yes Ive done pot before It was weaker then it is nowadays. most times pot is laced with some things else to get them to move on up. Ive done Pot, hash, acid, mushrooms, lsd, coke. So I do talk to them with some bad trip experiance. Ive seen good friends fry thier brains and some that still owe thousands in debt to drugs. No Im not a anti user. But people want to do what they want. As a adult that is their choice. Im just trying to show them the bad side.
He just finished grd 12 and is now going to look at college. So hope fully he will put energy into that. I like the idea of volunteer help. I will look into that. I told him we should drive down town T.O. and get a good look at what you can become. But the famous words that Im sure we have all said is it won't happen to me.
We have tried to keep them occupied and the younger son plays hockey but no summer sport. The older one hates sports. no team activitey at all for him.
As for fighters ,ever tried to take down a 200lb man high on pcp? can't be done. Ask a cop who has tried. I knew a guy so high on pcp that he broke his leg and still walked around all night. It cuts out all pain sensors. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 12:55:02 PM | I'm not an anti-user either, and believe there is a time and a place for many bad habits if kept within moderation. However, I've got a sore spot with this topic. Many people, especially young adults, believe that pot use is fairly safe. And for the most part, I'd have to agree. For most, getting high produces the same level of impairment as drinking. And smoking a joint does the same damage to your lungs as a cigarrete will. And both of those substances are legal.
What you may want to Google, and provide information to your sons on, are the many articles that prove that pot use can have some really horrible long term effects, including a very direct correlation with panic attacks, panic disorder, anxiety attacks, and even obsessive-cumplusive disorder.
I was what most people would call a moderate user when I was younger. Then, when I went to college, I cut back, and reserved it for only the occasional party. I was at school when I had my first panic attack. And there is a big difference between panic attacks and anxiety attacks, both are not related to stress. Anyway, I haven't smoked any pot since about a month before that first attack, but for two years after that I had developed panic disorder severly enough that it was a struggle for me to leave my house for two years. That was four years ago, and I'm still trying to get back to being comfortable in most situations. And there are many many cases of individuals who have experienced similar symptoms and life changes.
So maybe this is another point your son may want to consider. There's lot's of information on it online, so I hope this helps a little bit. If nothing else, try to give you son enough information on both sides of the argument, so that he's able to make an educated decision on what choice he wants to make.
Good luck. | |
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Shaps
| | Joined: 4/23/2005
Msg: 11 | |
| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:11:11 PM | When my mom found me smoking pot, she didn't like it at all, but she also gave me the right to choose what I wanted to do and what I didn't.
One day she took me downtown Toronto and introduced me to many of the homeless people who decided to let drugs run their lives. I was affected for a bit, but I continued on and off.
Then I lost my mom, and well I gave up drugs for good, I relaized that was something which mad her sad about me and while it took her death to regret many things I did, I now wanna make her happy anyway I can.
Take them to a addiction meeting, take them to see homeless people who are so hooked. Remind him, they have a choice, to use drugs, start ending up like what just happened or even worse, or to smarten up.
Cut any money for him unless he has his own job, you go with with him to buy what the mney is needed for. And if need be, threaten to kick him/them out. State you don't want druggies living under your roof, or you don't want any traffic coming into or around your home.
Watch that TV show on A&E Intervention -- it's an real eye opener. Even if they don't want to admit it.
Anyone who does drugs are addicted to it whether they do it once a day or every once and a while. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/24/2006 1:12:20 PM | | We need to talk, make time, think I might be having trouble here too. New kids keep moving in teenagers giving mine bad advice. Been pretty rough arround here lately and it came right out of nowhere. One day everything ok, past week, total nightmare! | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:31:59 AM |
Yes Ive done pot before It was weaker then it is nowadays. most times pot is laced with some things else to get them to move on up. Ive done Pot, hash, acid, mushrooms, lsd, coke. So I do talk to them with some bad trip experiance. Ive seen good friends fry thier brains and some that still owe thousands in debt to drugs. No Im not a anti user. But people want to do what they want. As a adult that is their choice. Im just trying to show them the bad side.
Then talk to them like you did to me. Kids respond to being talked to like adults. They will make their own decissions, its your job to give them honest info to base those decissions on. Kids tend to be excellent at picking up when adults are BS'ing them.
As far as pot being laced these days, pot is I beleive the cheapest drug out there, why would someone add a more expensive drug to it, and then sell it cheap?
Pat | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:43:30 AM | As far as pot being laced these days, pot is I beleive the cheapest drug out there, why would someone add a more expensive drug to it, and then sell it cheap?
Thats so true but Ive heard of people spraying it with hairspray dousing it with different kinds of liquids to make the weight heavier,unless you know where its coming from there is always a chance of something being added,of course its not likely going to be a more expensive drug.
My oldest kid is 10 and Ive been dreading this issue for a bit,I still have some time to figure out how Im going to handle it all,but it wont be a "this is your brain,this is your brain on drugs" speech because as mentioned earlier kids can smell a bs'er a mile a way,cause they are great bs'ers themselves | |
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LMAO
| | Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 15 | |
| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/25/2006 6:07:16 AM | Talk to them do not yell at them is obvious you seem like you know that.
The worst thing about it all is your oldest boy if something goes wrong,,can and WILL charged as an adult and wil have to live with that the rest of his life.
that is what scares me the most of this situation.
I see this a lot in my area,,,the kids are good kids but then the drugs take over somewhat and they do not have a clear head and mixed with booze on top of that.
I have heard of stuff going on around here including axes,,yes axes, knives etc.
that is yet another thing that scares me as nowadays they do not fist fight eventually more arms comes out and more people includes gangs of kids trying to get thier money back.
VERY rare is a one on one terms anymore,,not liek our days.
Further more,,,perhaps take him to an NA meting they have many and let anyone in on thier meeting,,,he wil see that these people have been on absolutely everything,,,let them hear the stories of how they have almost lost thier lives etc, to many different drugs.
since they left the drug behind whether it be alcohol or drugs,,,what they have now, compared to what they had then.
Mind you kids wil be kids, just hope they do nto take it to far, and when it comes to fighting etc, that is getting a bit to far, last thing you need is a call coming from an officer that your kid has been arrested or in the hospital,,and ,,,most times, a lot of parents DO NOT have the money to bail thier asses out,,,,,see what he says if he got caught and actually had to stay there for sometime!!!!! Thing is in jail,,is a lot worse than out on the streets at times!!!
Deals go bad and the consequences are greater,,,,,as lives can be at stakes at most times, that is the sad part, no one cares at times, and he has to realize that guy,,he is buying from, or anyone for that matter coudl give two shits about him as long as they get their money,,such as he did his buddy ,,he wanted his money,that he lent him , no matter what,
that was mild ,,,compared to what could have happened!!!!
One thing do some research on some of the deals that have went down, such as the Shedden murders, that was mild as well, and yes mind you was a lot more than he is dealing with now,, but yuo NEVER,,,NEVER know who is connected to whom!!!
One day he could be buying from an undercover,,than he is screwed!!!!
Sometimes kids would rather hear it from someone else besides thier parents as well,,,someone out of the loop so to say!!! | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 7/27/2006 6:55:11 PM | | My mother threatened to kick my sister out and that she could move back in with my dad.. That seemed to work on her. Tough love maybe? | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 8/7/2006 2:36:42 PM | its just pot... no big deal unless it becomes a problem ( like is he getting stoned everyday or several times per day?)
and teens fight.. over alot of stuff.. what dose it matter if it is drug related or not? the problem is the fighting... if i lent a friend 50 bucks to buy something and then he refused to pay up, i would be angry regaurdless, what he needed the money FOR is not particularly relevant...
but he is 18 and dosn't know shit.. so you should educate him ( and do not use any Government resources, ESPECIALLY from the USA ) education about addiction is what is needed.. not about how bad pot is ( cuase it is not bad, just been demonized, and in canada is a hairs breath from being decrimnalized anyway ) and if he is just getting stoned cuase he is bored ( a common enough reason ) then help him find something too DO!!! something he will find stimulating, he may still smoke pot, but not nearly as much...
also educate youself.. simply taking a stance that there is no reason to take any drug, is an absolute possition, something teens ( and alot of other people) do not deal with very well. the fact is that there are MANY good reasons to smoke pot, weather it reduce high stress levels ( wich helps with genral health ) or specific medical conditions, and even things like depression ( this may be why he is smokeing ) and you have to understand that there is ALOT worse than pot if one were to do ANY drug pot is the BEST one to do, Tabbaco and Alcohol are FAR more damaging... and if you show him the effects of drugs like Heroin and Methanphetamine ( which are truely frieghtening ) you may be able to get it into his head that he has to be careful when using drugs, and to stay away outright from the more dangerous ones...
he is 18 and going to at least experiment he is an adult, and there is not alot you can do to stop him from doing anything...so the best thing to do is give him the right tools to deal with what he will face...
i hope i said something meaningful | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 8/7/2006 7:31:02 PM | | My soon to be 14 year old son just recently told me he knew what a *bong* was, I was shocked. He has been hanging out with some new friends and he said they do smoke pot, but he was quite clear that he hadn't, not sure how much I can believe, but he's a good kid and I don't have any reason not to trust him, or should I? He comes from a very small town and has just lived here 1 year and I'm really scared about the influences that he will be exposed to. I'm over protective that's for sure and he gets mad at me for that. I guess I should be happy that he's opened up about it, I just wasn't prepared for it I guess? I will keep the lines of communication open and see where it takes us, hopefully in the right direction? | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 10/11/2006 7:24:41 AM | | While your at it.. why not stop over at the local Tim Hortons so your kids can get an up-close view of all the country's caffeine users... which in case you did not already know.. is the most popular drug in the world. Or my favourite --> stop by Mc'Ds and introduce them to some of the restaurant's daily regulars... which you may find to be obese and complaining that there's not enough salt on their fries. I bring up the lard kingdom because recent research has found that there is a connection in the brain between addictions (from drugs) and excessive eating. The point I am trying to get at is that to target only a few addictions isn't right.. because the addictions that you are targeting happen to be illegal make it easier for you to point fingers and say its wrong.. If you are to teach your children about drug use and addictions I only hope that you don't forget about our culture's socially accepted (drug) addictions... | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:04:23 AM | I beg to differ from some of the points of view I have seen on here. My opinion is that kids that age (and yes, 18 year olds ARE kids in a lot of ways) need to be educated about the possible real consequences of drugs. Yes, kids will experiment, etc. but they need facts. Real facts. I find the " you will become an addict if you don't stop now" attitudes a little too heavy. Trying something like that does not lead automatically down the path of addiction. That would equate to , in my mind, the first alcoholic drink everyone has leading one into a guaranteed spiral downwards into the depths of alcoholism. Just a bit too dramatic for me, and too disconnected from real life.
I think that not enough emphasis is put on to the lifetime legal consequences here - we teach our kids NOT to drink and drive, how do we do that? Yes, the shock value of the drunk driving accidents being shown in films makes them think, but they relate better (don't we all) to things that are presented in real relevant terms to them. Drink, drive, get caught, lose the privledge of driving. You do not have to mangle a bunch of people in a horrifying accident to do that. Want to be able to drive for the rest of your LIFE - don't be doing that after drinking. Could result in a lifetime loss of that privledge. Just by being pulled over in a traffic stop. They only take my license for a year you say....well that is the start. Afterwards it can cost you thousands to GET THE LICENSE BACK. Then you enjoy insurance payments that can be bigger than mortgage payments so you can enjoy the privledge again, and so on.
Although marijuana ( and that was the original drug under discussion here) may be "decriminalized almost" here in Canada, it is not. Therefore, if you get caught, you may be facing a lot of future problems. It can negatively affect your choice of careers, it can keep you from traveling to places you would like to go (like the USA) it can severely limit your options if you get caught. Is that something you want to risk or a chance you want to take? Put that one out on the table to them, in real terms. Then they can make informed choices, knowing the consequences. Not after the fact. Some things you cannot go back and fix, no matter how much you want to. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 10/11/2006 9:16:52 AM | I think Nascar's suggestion about volunteering in an addiction centre is excellent.. another idea would be to volunteer in the emergency department at the hospital. We see a lot of drug overdoses, alcohol included, injuries resulting from fights due to drugs, things like that. Also, the people who were obviously drug users, who are battling some residual problems. I believe that anything that shows them the 'down' side to drug use would be beneficial. And yes, keep the lines of communication open.. as a mom of 18 and 21 year old boys, I can't stress this enough.
Best of luck!  | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 10/11/2006 10:02:39 AM | | Aversion therapy. Get them drunk and stoned and then tie them up to the clockwork orange chair and show them government films about great Canadian lesbian female novelists. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 11/12/2007 5:10:27 PM |
It can negatively affect your choice of careers, it can keep you from traveling to places you would like to go (like the USA) it can severely limit your options if you get caught. Is that something you want to risk or a chance you want to take?
this sounds a tad like fear mongering too me... while yes having ANY criminal record for ANY reason can make it harder to go to the US, for instance... more people are turned away for other reasons other than drugs, so really being afraid to use pot, because it may inhibit travel the the US ( why would anyone want to go there anyway) is somewhat irrational. but yes it is still possible to be busted for pot.. but that is not the important part, conviction is, which is a matter for the courts not the police, and POT case are regularly thrown out of court, because of the legality of POT is still in question in many ways... i have personally witnessed a judge throw out 20 cases at once in the court room.. many judges do not want stupid pot charges to gum up the judicial system, for years in BC the courts have been handing out very minor sentences no more than 90 days even with large scale growth operations.. there is a reason Canada is THE producer of pot in the world... because we do not have the draconian anti-drug laws of the US for instance ( something the US has continually criticized Canada for over the years ) in Canada Millions of people use pot, do you see millions of people arrested or imprisoned because of pot? no you don't.. there is a reason for that ( its not a huge issue in Canada )
the problem is Addiction and not the drugs, more people are addicted to alcohol than ALL illegal drugs combined, the same is true for prescription medication as well.. there are problems with drugs to be sure but the will not be solved until people wake up and have a REAL and HONEST discussion about drugs on a national level, one that used Legitimate scientific research and evidence ( not made up anti-drug propaganda like that of the DEA ) there are pros and cons to drug use, also people must be told the truth about WHY these drugs are illegal in the first place, if you think its because they are somehow dangerous, think again...
it boils down to the fact that most people do not know why a particular drug is illegal or what the effects of a drug actually are.. they are spoon fed lies and misinformation from the media and never think to research this information themselves, ( people are very often little more than sheep ) all you have to do is a little research into these drugs to find out what they are really all about..
on the web one of the BEST resources is http://www.erowid.org
there is alot of info on all kinds of drugs, legal or not... testimonials, real scientific research .. real information about drugs both positive and negative effects, also information on civil and human rights
Ecstasy Rising with Peter Jennings
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjvNCijeYlI
check this out on YouTube it is a pretty accurate and honest report on the drug Ecstasy/MDMA, this is not the usually media hit job either.. it details the reasons ( or lack there of ) for the DEA to make it a schedule 1 drugs, the same as Coke and Heroin... and the lies and manipulation of the DEA in order to continue there sham drug war started by Reagan | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:28:11 PM | It can negatively affect your choice of careers, it can keep you from traveling to places you would like to go (like the USA) it can severely limit your options if you get caught. Is that something you want to risk or a chance you want to take?
I agree with this poster.
I am in the trucking industry. If you travel through the US as part of your job in the trucking, airline, shipping, or rail industry, you are subject to drug testing. You fail one of those, it is a black mark. It follows you in the transportation industry, which employs a lot of people in Canada. So kiss that goodbye if you enjoy drugs.
Even to get a taxi license in the next town, you need a CLEAN criminal record. I know of a guy who could not get one because he had an old possession conviction.
My opinion is that people who do drugs limit themselves in what they can do for a living.
Ask this 18 year old what are his goals when it comes to career. Find out if drug use or a drug conviciton would be tolerated. Even if it is, that doesn't mean anything. People change careers nowadays for many reasons. | |
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| Teens and drugs
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:30:04 PM | "Aversion therapy. Get them drunk and stoned and then tie them up to the clockwork orange chair and show them government films about great Canadian lesbian female novelists."
Bingo, we have a winner. | |
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