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Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, t      Home login  
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 Sweetdaddy
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 1
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?Page 1 of 2    (1, 2)
It is difficult to love someone you do not trust. But once you love someone and you lose trust in him/her, how can you love them more? And if you're scared that they might leave or might get upset, do you really love them?
 Headtrauma101
Joined: 5/24/2006
Msg: 2
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:24:07 AM
From personal experience I always want to love that person again but know I never can. (Ooh thats very open for me, must be the valium)
 Jackie1954
Joined: 1/16/2006
Msg: 3
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:28:20 AM
For me... when the trust is gone, it's OVER!
 Fernilee
Joined: 9/25/2005
Msg: 4
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:31:17 AM
my last partner was an american soldier of 20 service. He went to Iraq for 16 months shortly after we met, and had served in Bosnia, Kosovo and other conflicts in his time. We met quite a few times, and it was always lovely , 'holiday time'.. but for day to day relalityy, no, we didn't have the opportunity to experience that.

I went out to see him on his own territory (his flat in Germany) and I'd only been there a matter of hours before he received a dodgy phone call. I didn't know it ws dodgy at the time, but his actions and way he was pacing round uncomfortably aroused my interest in the call.
When he hung up I asked who it was, he brushed it off as a 'friend'.. ok I thought, I'm not bothered about that, BUT, in his head he began to build up a rage which exploded in front of me.
As an officer he was used to brow beating a soldier into submission and defeat. I truly honestly thought my life was about to end. I was rigid with fear, and cold all over... I can honeslty say that from that moment on, all my trust and faith in him died in that moment. It contributed to my ending it with him 6 months later at one of our next meetings.

I will always love the man, but I won't ever be in a relationship with him again, no. You can't fear someone and love them.
 lilgreenqueen
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 5
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:42:50 AM
i think if you cant trust someone you cant love them. you cant want them to the point of obbession but there will never be the contenment and comfort that comes of love.
 bomb.proof
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 6
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When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 4:54:03 AM
Nope...you cant love somebody you dont trust. Trust in all its forms, whether monetary, sexual, personal.....any of these that set a seed of doubt in your mind...a relationship will not last.

And if somebody gets away with it once, they'll use that trusting nature of yours again...and again.
 Sweetdaddy
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 7
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 7/25/2006 5:07:42 AM
[you cant want them to the point of obbession but there will never be the contenment and comfort that comes of love.]

That is true, it's finding that assurance, comfort and contenment that come out of love. But sometime it's hard to let go, and knowing that no one is perfect sometime you believe that people change. Can you give it another try, especially if you have a lot at stake?
 xxMistyxx
Joined: 6/23/2006
Msg: 8
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/1/2006 3:55:41 PM
Once the trust that was there in a relationship has gone, for what ever reason, then to me the relationship is over.........
 Marco46
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 9
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/1/2006 5:35:14 PM
If you have found that you have been betrayed, you can still love them but how deep the wound goes will depict how long you stay with them, and how much groveling they do.

If my partner slept with someone ells I would be out of the door before the rage ended, and I have!!! My love that I gave was 100% and died on the spot at 000%. And can not be fixed. You ether know what you have, or don`t.
If you know what you have, you don`t let go!!!
 rainmake
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 10
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/1/2006 10:23:46 PM
When trust is gone love is gone. Where there is fear there will never be love
 ~Hams~
Joined: 4/2/2006
Msg: 11
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:40:07 AM
I couldnt love someone i didnt trust,i would rather stay single then be
in a relationship with someone if i was going to be worried all the time
that they might get upset if i doubted them,
 Bye Bye Blackbird
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 12
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/2/2006 4:42:28 AM
Lack of trust kills love stone dead.
 had enough-69
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 13
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/2/2006 7:50:38 AM
i think you have to be able to trust them 100% before you can truely love someone,
 Carrie Bradshaw™
Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 14
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When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/3/2006 11:34:57 AM
Some say that trust is earned and others say that we should just trust until we do not have a reason to trust them. For me, I have trusted right away and also have had to have others earn my trust.

When someone breaks our trust it is just a hard thing to deal with. It is actually heartbreaking. It does not really matter if it was a small thing or a large thing, it just matters that they did something that broke our trust in them.

If someone breaks your trust, you have two options 1. You can walk away 2. You can work to forgive them. If you work to forgive them you have to expect that it will take time to forgive them and forget what they did. They also have to work and prove their trust to you. If they do not want to work for it, then they are not really sorry for what they have done.

If they are sorry and you think you can trust them again, I would give them another chance. Just realize that what they have done probably has hurt them too and even though they hurt you, they still have feelings and a heart. You can cry, yell and go on about what they have in the beginning but that does work if you really want to try and trust them again. There comes a day when you have to wake up and say, yes so and so did this to me but s/he is worth forgiving so I have to just get past this. You cannot let it haunt you.

I think that if someone breaks your trust, you can in time and with their help and support, feel how you did about them before and maybe even more.

~Carrie B.
 Commonsens
Joined: 8/12/2006
Msg: 15
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/3/2006 5:08:17 PM
mmmmhhh!

The way I see it there is a basic trust that is granted right away, and then there is a deeper trust that is earned.

Basic trust: acquaintances, a work collegue or school partner for example, you believe in them to a certains extend, think that they are truthful on the surface etc etc You share your daily events, some "low level" up to 'medium level" information and if they break it, there is not much consequencense (typo..) and if trust is missued, you can forgive them after discutions, avoid them or setting them to another less secure level of trust (medium to low)

Deeper trust: reserved to close friends, lovers and family. all of whom you are, is shared with them as they have grown into your trust. The breaking of that trust is absolute and cannot be repaired, ever, as it is a violation, a trahison of your deeper self. In the best case scenario, some healing is done, but the trust level is lowered from "high" to "medium" ..even "low" levels.


So some is granted, some is earned..it depend on the level.
 had enough-69
Joined: 9/25/2006
Msg: 16
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:19:45 AM
yeah but can you give anyone complete trust,
it's like you could spen 50 yrs with someone,
but how well do you really no them,
you will never no someone 100% so can yougive that much honesty
 redandyellow
Joined: 3/13/2006
Msg: 17
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:43:51 AM
No trust
no respect
no love
no relationship
 georgiegirl2007
Joined: 9/30/2006
Msg: 18
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 7:45:57 AM
I loved somebody, I trusted that somebody. I still trust that somebody, but I no longer love them. He is only person in the world I know will always be there for me. Even when he is married to another woman, I know if I need him, he'll always be there.

I also loved somebody I did not trust. I knew he would never be there for me, not when I really needed/wanted him. And I was right.
 exbrat
Joined: 8/15/2006
Msg: 19
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 8:29:06 AM
i had this with my last relationship

i loved the bloke to bits...one night totally out of the blue and out of character he turned very violent (he'd been drinking)...i called the police and pressed charges..then was stupid and got back with him cos i still loved him and i knew he was "sorry"..i dropped the charges against him..

3 months later i got all the same feelings it was going to happen again..i wasnt going to take the chance so i waited for him to go out packed my bags and was gone befor he came home..yes i still loved him at the time and it broke me up to leave him..but i knew i didnt trust him anymore..so there wasnt any future..
 Longshanks
Joined: 10/6/2006
Msg: 20
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 8:30:13 AM
Jump of a cliff,that will solve everything
 *Leigh78*
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 21
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 10:28:13 AM
I can catogorically say YES!!, trust is the firm base of any relationship in many different ways, not just being faithful as many interpret. Once the foundations have been shook all thats above and surrounding begins to crumble, it can also breed resentment.

I broke up with my ex last summer & i know our relationship died when she broke that barrier of trust, i just went through the motions for two years kidding myself.....

But everybody is different and each relationship unique so do what your heart says, thats where the true answers lie
 ~Student Nurse~
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 22
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:47:34 AM
It is possible to love someone who you dont trust, especially if you were in love with them prior to the trust being lost. Once trust is lost it is not long before the love is gone as well.
 vin fourstar
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 23
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:50:24 AM
I have to agree with the thread title. How can you love someone that you don't trust? How can you love someone if you fear them?

Jeez, that's what's going on in so many relationships, where one of the partners (usually the woman) claims to be in love with the other, but admits to be being scared of them.
 BootyliciousK
Joined: 9/10/2006
Msg: 24
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:50:30 AM
If someone betrayed my trust and slept with someone else, and trhen wanted me back, the answer would be categorically "tough shit" If they did it once they can do it again!
 vin fourstar
Joined: 8/27/2006
Msg: 25
When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?
Posted: 10/24/2006 11:52:44 AM
MSg 24 "If they did it once they can do it again! "

Sounds like an invitation if ever I heard one!

No, I get your point - once trust has gone, it usually means the end of the relationship.
Show ALL Forums  > UK forums  > When trust is gone, love is weakened or dead. Where there is fear, there is no love. is it true?