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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?      Home login  
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 cindersella37
Joined: 4/9/2006
Msg: 1
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?Page 1 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
Is there a difference between friends with benefits and having a relationship?

My definition of a friend is someone you enjoy spending time with, talking to, hanging out with, someone you can call when you need help or advice, etc. Basically you have developed a platonic relationship with this person then at some point you may add the benefits of having sex with this person. How is this different from a romantic relationship? A romantic relationship basically starts out the same way: meet, hang out, get to know the person, become sexually involved.

Is FWB just a way of saying we can hang out and have sex until someone better comes along that I want to have a relationship with?

Just curious what others think.
 Spelly
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 2
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:38:16 AM
The difference? Denial on somebody's part that it's not a real relationship.....maybe it's worked for others, but not me. It's been my experience that the guy has been the one to get all twisted about it while I was able to see it for what it was ~ sex with no committment. Gave the whole FWB up years ago....
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 3
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:38:40 AM
Yep...one might go "somewhere", the other won't.


Is FWB just a way of saying we can hang out and have sex until someone better comes along that I want to have a relationship with?


Indeed.
 jmadsenhouse
Joined: 4/28/2006
Msg: 4
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:43:23 AM
No emotions, less pain
 ~squirrly~
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 5
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:45:18 AM
it actually IS a relationship (a friendship). It's just not a romantic one. No "I love yous"
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 6
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:14:37 AM
I really can't answer that question, but I have never had such a realtionship with someone and never will. I just don't work that way. I have to have some sort of feelings of love(even if it isn't deep love or lasting love) and know that I am the only one they are having sex with while they are seeing me. You can call me old fashioned it you like, but something just seems nasty about dating and having sex with more than one at a time.
 rune3
Joined: 7/13/2006
Msg: 7
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:35:07 AM
Thanks OP for asking this, I nearly asked the question myself.


Yep...one might go "somewhere", the other won't.


Now what does "go somewhere" mean? My last bloke & I didn't want to live together, get married or have kids, so technically what we had wasn't "going anywhere" but to us it was a relationship and the intention was that we'd stay together for the long haul. Is that more of a FWB thing than a real relationship?

Maybe FWB is when you don't care whether or not the WB part continues, you can carry on being friends either way, but with a relationship you care whether it will continue.

Looking forward to reading some more explanations on the difference, but I suspect it's a grey area like everything else :)
 ~squirrly~
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 8
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:37:19 AM

Maybe FWB is when you don't care whether or not the WB part continues, you can carry on being friends either way, but with a relationship you care whether it will continue.


that is a very good way of putting it. There isn't so much pressure involved.
 larry03
Joined: 11/12/2005
Msg: 9
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:51:46 AM
Yes...It is a way to meet each others sexual needs without commitment until someone comes along that you do want to be with. If this sounds awful to you or rubs you the wrong way then you obviously are not meant to go in that direction and since none of us are in anyway perfect, we should not be judgmental of those who are.
 Funny_Girl
Joined: 10/27/2005
Msg: 10
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:57:31 AM

but with a relationship you care whether it will continue.


That's the difference. That lends itself to a commitment--maybe?

I think I'm confusing myself because I so often say the first thing that comes to mind, because I'm usually pretty clear on where I stand. This time, it's too gray for me because in both situations, it's all about what the two agree to, which kind of leaves things wide open.

I see FWB's as something that is limited and as such, will not be a "romantic relationship", hence the label "friends with benefits". I see a relationship, as the OP vaguely noted it, as an interaction encompassing the usual romantic connotations. Attached to that is the notion (for me) that a romantic interaction usually lends itself to being or becoming exclusive.

I suppose that either way, love is involved because you can love your friend, too. Any time love is involved...who knows?


Ugh!
 CloneAlone
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 11
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:11:51 AM
Just my understanding. . .

FWB was when you had a physical attraction to someone you already knew but, it is clear that a lasting long-term relationship with the person wouldn't work. Due to differences in lifestyle, geography, etc. So a friendship with a physical side developed and both parties knew the limits of the relationship, friends and physical interaction.
I also agree with some previous posts, every 'couple' defines that type of relationship between themselves so they could every one be different.

Just my humble opinion.
 karlia
Joined: 7/17/2006
Msg: 12
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:20:06 AM
hmmmm, FWB as i understand is a good friend u can share your opinion, hang out when u are bored, there is some kind of love, but not enough to have a life together. or maybe the friendship means so much that both iof you guys dont want to ruin it to turn it into something more. or its just a hide out place... have sex just comes on teh way, lol.. just how i look at it anyways. u guys have fun!!!
 brucem101
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 13
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:28:53 AM
a crude but certainly understandable line i once heard should help open that mystery----"mariages fail, relationships end, but if two people can't get togather and screw each other silly and get THAT right, then someone has a real problem there" i mean, given the loss most guys suffer from failed marriages and the like, is it any wonder we habe issues with commitment?
 Darklight31
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 14
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:57:15 AM
I have a FWB relationship. Perhaps calling my relationship FWB is a bit of a stretch because our relationship consists entirely of meeting for sex, followed by some conversation. Sex first though. However, we don't go out anywhere together, and don't really talk to each other outside of our meetings. Perhaps it would be more appropriate to call us f*ck buddies.

There are no strings, no romantic feelings and no likelihood that it will develop into anything else. We like each other, but nothing beyond that.

A "relationship" to me, is a situation where you want to be together for things other than sex, and there is a possibility of it developing into a deeper commitment.
 Darklight31
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 15
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:59:33 AM
Oh yeah, and in my case, if the WB part stopped, there would be no more friendship. So maybe it isn't FWB at all ...
 IGotRhythm2
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 16
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FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 4:56:09 PM
Back to what the OP implied...

FWB - The benefits part sounded "monogamous" - not like "my partner and I have lots of friends and they all get benefits!"

My thought is that few relationships (FWB or otherwise) start with "going somewhere" or "commitment" as an early topic of serious discussion (unless someone is really fixated on that expectation above all else). I agree with the OP that romance is something that grows (or not) over time.

I am not sure that I agree that "relationship" implies commitment (aka marriage), I would go along with monogamy as a criteria though.
 I love hockey
Joined: 8/30/2006
Msg: 17
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:07:37 PM

Is FWB just a way of saying we can hang out and have sex until someone better comes along that I want to have a relationship with?



Yeap, thats what it boils down to. I dont think its a bad thing unless you think you may get feelings or too used to the idea.
 fr0gkiss3r
Joined: 10/1/2006
Msg: 18
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:16:51 PM
I'm in an FWB relationship, and emotions on both sides have developed. We express those emotions with actions instead of verbally. Perhaps we don't want to scare the other one off, but it's the best relationship I've ever been in.

We connect on every level, minus the "I love you's" [which should be backed up with actions, not words...talk is cheap].
 Piano4te
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 19
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:16:52 PM
The difference is this.....

"Hey....you know....I sort of struck out at the bar tonite when the lights came up at closing time.....and I thought I would give you the honor of being my final option before tossing one off myself and then passing out.........oh I'm sorry...did I wake you?? FRIEND???"
 missgreeneyes
Joined: 10/12/2006
Msg: 20
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:18:25 PM
Yes! A perfect scenario for a guy! Hang out with him! Praise and flatter him and let him get his rocks off! No strings! Get real girls! You have laid it on a plate for the guy! Will he ever marry you! No!! You have set yourself up for a lifetime of ok! Raise the stakes! Always do what you've always done and you'll always get what you've always got! Basically nothing! Jules x
 The Lady
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 21
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:27:45 PM
At piano4te and Green....I'd recommend you reread what some of the other posters had to say about FWB. Friends, first and foremost. And most likely, friends for the long haul. That benefits might - on occasion - be available to both friends, is secondary. FWB do all the things any friends do, from just hanging out, to going to events, helping each other move, commisserating with each other or celebrating with each other.

and if one does end up with a significant other, the friendship will still be there.
 ya472
Joined: 4/29/2006
Msg: 22
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 5:29:40 PM
INTENT !

FWB just means you are sexual with your friend (until you enter a relationship. - optional)




Relationship includes committment to shared decisions. (which means you can keep your FWB if your partner agrees)


 Piano4te
Joined: 10/19/2006
Msg: 23
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 6:01:33 PM
"At piano4te and Green....I'd recommend you reread what some of the other posters had to say about FWB. Friends, first and foremost. And most likely, friends for the long haul. That benefits might - on occasion - be available to both friends, is secondary. FWB do all the things any friends do, from just hanging out, to going to events, helping each other move, commisserating with each other or celebrating with each other."

AT The Lady.....while I thank you for the kind recommendation, I already read the posts. And my opinion of such situations will be the same. Whether it be FB...FWB....or FWVD....I consider this sort of relationhip to be the equivalent of holding an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle with a compass in the stock......and everybody is warning me..."You'll Shoot Your Eye Out Kid!!".....(or at the very least....the back of whatever orifice you're shooting into at the time....take your pick.)

Sorry...not trying to poop on anybody's party here....but as the saying goes, "It's always fun till somebody gets hurt". And more times than not, I've heard the sobbing of people who START as FWB situations...all claiming that they can remain friends...yada yada yada......but sooner or later.....somebody looses an eye.

And to be honest, in the situations where I've read that it's great till 'the real thing comes along'.....doesn't one consider that 'the real thing' MIGHT just not take a person seriously if they're found out to be the type to view their need for sex as something that they can't control, instead of it being something that comes LATER after a 'real thing' relationship is developed.....?

Just my sick twisted narrow minded take on things.....
 Licorice007
Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 24
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 6:02:48 PM
I tend to agree with a lot of the ladies on here regarding what RWB means. For me, that type of thing does not work. I find that when a man is approaching me with that option they are saying I am not the one they want to date, however taking me to bed would be ok. I do not look at my male friends sexually...they are friends. To me, they are no different then the female friends I have, and seein as I am not into women, it is easier to keep the line clear. If a male friend does come on to me, I nip it in the but right away.
 samhonolulu
Joined: 6/20/2006
Msg: 25
FWB versus relationship. What's the difference?
Posted: 11/5/2006 6:15:18 PM
FWB, you're not worthy of any commitment and not worthy of payment for services rendered either... not really 'friendly' actually...

or read another way: i don't value myself enough to wait or you enough to commit...
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