| | When will actions match words from men?Page 1 of 5 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5) | | So, anyone, please tell me!! Why do men tell you one thing and do the complete opposite?? I met this guy on the Website "Hot or Not". He seemed to be such a sweet, sensitive, caring, and awesome person. Everything that I have been looking for in a man. So, I thought. We talked for quite some time on the phone and IM's. He lives 2 hours away from me, but we both thought that the distance was worth it if when we met we "clicked". We could talk for hours online and the phone and it was wonderful. I was sick for a few days when we were talking and he would always say how he wished he was nearer so he could take care of me and how he would do anything for me. Well, I finally made the trip to meet him and it was GREAT!! We clicked....there was awesome chemistry!! The three days that we spent together were just wonderful! I thought that I had finally met "that man"! Well, the last day that I was with him, I got sick...very sick. I ended up being admitted to the hospital in his area and am actually still in the hospital as I write this. I have now been in since the 16th of this month. I will probably not be going home for at least another couple of days. Since being sick, he has done a 180. The man has turned into someone that I don't even recognize. All those words about being there for me and doing anything for me are GONE!! He has come to see me twice since I have been here. He is too busy to spend time with me. Doesn't know why he should have all of this sympathy and pity for me because I am in the hospital. The man I "thought" I knew, I don't think ever existed. I just think my radar must be totally off because I really thought he was one of the good guys. Why did he go from being such a caring and sensitive man to a complete ass?!?! As a woman, I have had just about enough of all the bullshit. I have so much to offer the right guy and all I attract are losers, ***holes, and **stards!!! | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 2:11:16 PM | OP i am sorry you're sick and in that hospital. and no i don't know why this man has done the 360 on you.. i would think you may remember something that will make more sense as to why later on that you're not seeing right now.
but i do say that not all men are this way and dating is a never ending adventure until the right one is found.
keep your chin up and get well. a few months on here is not long enough to conclude theres no hope. theres always hope.
good luck | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 2:29:09 PM | All the best in a speedy recovery. I understand completely where you are coming from and feel your hurt inside to, as I have had similar experiences myself with woman. It is a sick and twisted game played by both sexes and I myself am tired of all the BS to. Don't be discouraged as the right man that will appreciate you for all your good qualities will eventually come along. Someone as you put it that is a genuine sweet, sensitive, caring, and awesome person. You just have to be patient.
Will | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 4:56:59 PM | people show their true colours in time of stress.
he has shown his.
better now then a year from now.
hope you are better soon.
you deserve better.
oh,,,btw,,,not being nosy,,,but why are you in the hospital so long,,,maybe he doesn't want to get involved closer if he thinks he will loose you?
still no excuse on his part,,,but just askin,, | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 5:13:43 PM | If I was talking with you and we were hitting it off - and you said you were sick - I'd be all over wishing I was closer so I could care for you and be a nurturing loving companion.
If we then meet in person and it turns out you get sick again and again and again and it's the kind of sick that requires a hospital and up to 16 days in the hospital -
I would be concerned about the kind of relationship I am signing up for. I want to nurse my loved ones when they get sick - and I care about people I meet who get sick but if they said sick and meant terminal hospital cases - that seems like asking a lot when starting a new relationship -
that he visited twice seems like he cares about you and you refer to it as bullsht and these guys as aholes and bstrds - I'll bet you describe your self as sweet, sensitive and caring.
That you suggest this pattern of aholes and bstrds repeats itself is an invitation to look at your contribution to these relationships. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:52:15 PM | I agree with****oston.
You haven't known this guy for very long. He's come to visit you a couple times. I mean, it sounds like he cares about you.
I'd also worry about your physical condition as well and what I was signing up for. And honestly, you sound very demanding and self centered. How many times does he have to visit for you to be happy?
Give him a break, he's only known you like...a week? It sounds like he's a nice guy and he is interested in you. I think you're being unrealistic.
Sorry, you asked for opinions so there it is. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 6:58:26 PM | | In response to****oston....it may sound rude and critical about men being aholes ande bstards, but I have met a few, more than a few. The last guy I was tryintg to date ended up being married....the one before that lied to me continuously. I know that there are sweetmen out there....I just can't find them. I shouldn't generalize all men, but when I look at my track record...there is not a nice one in the bunch. Also, I do describe myself as sweet and caring...but that is NOT a lie. This guy was always saying how he wished he could be there for me when I was sick in Green Bay. But, now?? Once a situation arose where he WAS NEEDED....he was gone faster than a vanishing act in a magic show. I try to put myself in the other person's place to see how I would feel about the same situation if it was reversed. I would have been at the hospital visiting him everyday and making sure the man that I care about is ok and has everything he needs. THAT is sweet and caring. I usually put other people's feelings and emotions above mine. To make sure that their allright no matter what the inconvenience would be. Also, thanks everyone for worrying about my health. It is not life or death, thank God!! But I have infections in both legs from IV sticks last week. Now they are treating me for a problem that the hospital caused. I just want to go HOME!! Hopefully by the weekend, I will be back in Green Bay. Keep those comments coming guys!! | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:05:23 PM | | Wow....demanding and self-centered?? You obviously don't ANYTHING about me. I am the most undemanding and selfless person you could ever meet. And I have known him longer than just a few days. He came out and said very bluntly that do I expect sympathy and empathy from him just because I am sick. As a human being, people should care about each other and hope they are ok! | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:14:15 PM | I'm sorry to hear that you are sick Mercy.
Did it ever occur to you to ask him why he never visited you often? There could be a lot of reasons.. maybe his past, fear, could be anything and he's scared to see someone sick in the hospital...it could also be the fact that he lost insterest?... my thoughts anyways...
Hope you feel better soon. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:16:45 PM | | It goes for women as well. I seem to attract women who don't give a sh*t about how I feel. It's what can you do for me, not what can we do for eachother. It's all about them and what they want, somebody throw them a clue. MercyAngel, I feel your pain. Lot of people have no empathy, they just want to take advantage of giving, trusting people. I just don't trust women as I did before, been taken advantage of once too many times. Especially after she wanted to be friends only, not a friend any more! OK I'm done b*tchin. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:18:52 PM | | well dummies will be dummies I say what I mean mean what I say anyways point to be proven My wife was sic and she passed away But I stayed and bayied her until the end But boys are boys andits not a stress thing its a chicken shit way. And was asked by a lady idf I would ever do it again and my reply yes so a punk ass is a punkass | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:19:08 PM | I'm sorry to hear that you got so sick ... and so far away from home on top of it all. I don't think you should give up on finding a great guy ... there are so many out there, but they hide from us. 
Now ... aren't you glad you found all that out about that guy before you invested too much more time with him? Of course you are! And that the point ... life is a learning experience and you just got saved a ton of headaches.
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:32:39 PM | | Hope you get well soon. You asked for input. With all due respect intended here. Were you intimate with this guy? If the answer is yes and he has now done a 180..................There is your answer. | |
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wrecks
| | Joined: 6/24/2006
Msg: 18 | |
| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:36:56 PM | I think the guy should have been there as much as possible, if a woman came on a 2 hour trip to visit me and spent 3 days and then ended up in the hospital I would make sure she is not alone. In a strange town in the hospital he is her only friend there, he should drive and go get her family too to visit her, something wrong with this guy.
Actions match words. I guess most people will say anything, be whatever they think you want them to be when you first meet someone. They sAY It takes 3 months to get to know someone. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:41:12 PM | yeah, I know what you mean. I thought I found someone special too. I was talking to this guy almost every night on plentyfish sending messages back and forth. I thought I found Mr. Right, boy was I wrong, Turned out Mr. Right was Mr. Wrong, He would tell me he wasnt in a relationship for 2 years and i thought ohh wow and say he was shy and tell me I make him blush with what i would say to him. I thought finally i caught a shark"" Well let me tell you all that time he was playing me. Turns out he had a girlfriend in another state, was spending all his time with her, I would receive text messages from him whille he was with her and If I wrote back he would say oh it didnt come through, never got it. I didnt know he was in love with someone cause he kind of told me he didnt have any one. So long story short, He tried to say no she's not my girlfriend i just spend weeks at a time with her in a hotel. But she is not my girlfriend. I said well sounds like she is and his answer turned my stomach and said no but im going to see her again and she is going come to ny cause I invited her to San Gianereo feast, tell me does that sound like a single guy in need of a girlfriend, He played me and broke my heart I believe this man to this day has a girlfriend in every other state. I think that the right guy is out there. But I just havent found him yet. I hope this experience never happens to anyone else. NOte: When a guy posts lots of pictures of himself , usually means only cares for him self. Any way people be careful out there, Lots of weirdos, Peace out. PS. Never heard from him again. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:44:55 PM | Mercyangel - I've had sort of the same experience. Ever heard the song Are you strong enough to be my man? Last really serious relationship I had turned out not to be so strong :)
It can get you down when someone does this to you, but I am sure there are compassionate men out there. Women tend to have more compassion than men though.
Now ... aren't you glad you found all that out about that guy before you invested too much more time with him? Of course you are! And that the point ... life is a learning experience and you just got saved a ton of headaches.
Yep, you're lucky it wasn't years that were invested. | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:49:24 PM | First of all I hope you recover from whatever ails you and I hope your family and true friends are close by...
This person sounds must bury his head in the sand when the going gets tough...perhaps it is better that you found this out now than later. Not saying it is okay...just better now.
When things like this occur you know who your real friends are.
Take care and hope you get better soon.
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 7:55:01 PM | Well, i doubt it's that you attract the bad ones, tho people say that all the time. There are a lot of "bad" ones, of both sexes, so that chances are that we will all meet many of them. It's a numbers game.
I wouldn't take seriously anything anyone says until you have seen each other regularly for a few months. I mean, seriously, how does anyone really know anyone before that? Sometimes women fall in love "over the phone and chat," but then it is different when you actually meet. I wouldn't recommend doing that. Expect nothing until you meet and have seen each other over a few months. You can't really tell until you spend time together in person. If any guy told me he loved me, that he wanted to be with me in a serious relationship, before a few months, i would run for the hills! well, maybe not, but i'd take it with a grain of salt. but if he said he loved me, i really would run for the hills!
If he's not treating you right, he's just not the one! Move on and find someone who cares more. But don't be mad at him. Maybe he cares and just is not the type to show it, but i doubt it. And men don't want to get into a relationship with a woman with health issues. I am in good health, and would be wary of a relationship with someone who had a serious illness. but this isn't the case with you. Scratch that!
Anyway, it's always better to find out someone's not the one earlier rather than later. Don't you agree? I always end things right away if i see it cannot go anywhere or is not what i want. Why waste time and maybe even risk falling in love with someone who's not right for you, whatever the reason.
Heal quickly and keep searching!
:) Cali | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 8:22:45 PM | Angel Darlin',
I won't go on and on about how much i'd be there or how i think anyone with a heart at all should have done things differently, i'll just get ta you and your problems here. First and foremost, i sincerely hope and pray that you get over all of your medical problems and are home safe very soon. And now on ta the Frasier "country" Crane show, LOL!!! In all of your hours of talks with him how much sex was involved, how soon after ya started talkin', and was there sex once ya got ta where he was? Also, the thing that's got me puzzled, if you're only two hours from each other and he agreed that ya should meet, why did you go ta him? Were there reasons he couldn't come ta you? Work, vehicle problems, hidden other, etc...? As for him bein' afraid of what he's gettin' into and wonderin' if ya get sick often...no reason for not comin' ta see ya more than twice while ya've been there. Now, had he come ta you and this happened and he HAD ta get back...a little more understanding, but just a little as he could've driven the two hours on a weekend as ya've been there for over a week now. And my final anal---ysis(because most advice is worth sh**), not all of us are losers, a**holes, and bas*****, and truthfully i take offense with that. Believe me when i tell ya that i could take the opinion that all women are leeches, goldiggers, liars, bit****, and on and on...alas, i do not(didn't think a cowboy had this much vocabulary now didja', LOL). Just hang in there Angel, look at the good things in your life, and keep that heart on your sleeve. For if we never got hurt, lost, failed, etc...we wouldn't know how ta feel, appreciate, extend, etc...Aaaaaaaaaaaaand...i'm off the ol soapbox. Fire Away  | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 9:52:15 PM | Sorry to hear you're not well, hope you're out soon.
Unfortunately people are like that, contradicting. Some unknowingly. Ideally I'd like to think everything I say and do are exactly on par with how I portrayed myself to be to someone. It's not going to be that way though, we don't tell people all our "bad" traits. Granted we all have them, they're just not what attracts people to us. So when they do surface, the person we're with begins to have thoughts about whether the relationship is sustainable given the magnitude of the newfound "bad side". Admittedly, this guy seems like a jerk to leave you alone in a hospital sick aswell as in an unfamiliar city, but possibly he's having second thoughts aswell, just as you are for what he's done. Don't get me wrong, I'm not siding with him, just letting you see both sides. Maybe the illness you contracted scared him some depending on it's severity. I've been in your situation, when I was hospitalized she didn't know what to do and was afraid of what the outcome would be. Who knows, maybe for you...falling ill was a blessing in disguise.
Get well soon Angel | |
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| When will actions match words from men?
Posted: 7/26/2006 10:36:54 PM | | I know, I know....but is it too much to ask for a great guy to come into my life? It seems like I can never pick a guy who is true to his word or only interested in me...not having woman in a bunch of cities. Before I came to the hospital, he got a phone call that he had to take outside and then I saw that he was IM'ing someone on MSN. Now don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with talking to people even if you are in a relationship, I have no problem with that. But, when I got up an went into the dining room, he immediately minimized the box so I didn't read anything and wouldn't bring the screen up until I went back into the living room. He is just exhibiting so many things that make me question him. | |
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