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 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 1
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?Page 1 of 24    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24)
This is sort of a different spin off another thread I just read. Here's what I'm wondering if you are willing to share:

Who here has had sex on a first date or knows someone who has had sex on a first date and it ended up turning into a deep loving relationship? Notice I did not say it ended up turning into a sex friends relationship.

I myself need to care about someone however I'm really curious if it is possible to make it work after you have done so much so fast. My hypothesis is it is rare. I'll share my ideas about why later.

Thanks for sharing
 lesteran
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 2
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:47:24 AM
Sex on a first date isn't going to promote respect for yourself, and usually you will not get respect out of the other person because of it. I am not into sex on the 1st date but I know MANY ppl that are. So many times they come back about how nice he is, how they think they are sooooo compatable, etc... When they say they had sex on the first date I just laugh and tell them to expect booty call...which they get almost every time. The other times they just don't get a call back.

I am sure there are a few out there that have met their "true love" and slept with them on the 1st date, but I would hazard to say that is VERY rare.
 -=Kalidor=-
Joined: 7/14/2006
Msg: 3
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:07:47 AM
I really need to feel I can trust and respect someone before I'd have sex with her. Barring that, I don't really put a 'time limit' on it. But trust usually takes a while -- certainly more than one date unless you've known her for years.
 SarinHighwind
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 4
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:43:48 AM
Lets uh, throw in some variables here.

Sex on a first date with somebody you just met is not a good thing.

Sex on a first date with somebody you have known for say, lets start out small, 2 years is different.

You have some sorta bond with a person you have known for 2 years as opposed to somebody you have known for 2 days.

So, sex on a first date with somebody you have known for 2 years, I can see that being allright. Because if you have been friends with somebody for 2 years, you should know them fairly well, and if your going on a date, you have expressed interest in eachother. Your not going on a date to get to know them. Your going on a date at that point to bond with them in a deeper way.
 chriscoff1
Joined: 7/16/2006
Msg: 5
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:56:15 AM
God yes, sex kills a relationship
 SarinHighwind
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 6
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:03:18 AM
I belive to much sex kills a relationship.

Sex is like something you do once or twice a week. Not every minute, every day.

You have to do stuff together in your relationship. Its not sexonship, its relationship, Key word here is Relate, not sex. hahaha.
 dawn1114
Joined: 2/27/2006
Msg: 7
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:03:37 AM
I had sex on a first date and we were together for 25 years. We knew each other casually (kept running into him in the oddest places) for a couple of months before that, so we already knew we liked one another. I realize that's a pretty unusual experience, but you asked if it CAN happen. So, yes it can.
 classact504
Joined: 7/8/2006
Msg: 8
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:04:29 AM
Once or twice a week - OMG - I would probably kill ya then
 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 9
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:07:02 AM
Let's stick to the original question folks

Good point about those first dates that are with people you have known for awhile. I think that is a different situation. You already know each other as compared to a stranger.
 Halfevl333
Joined: 3/26/2006
Msg: 10
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:22:15 AM
I did on a couple of my relationships and they lasted for a while... what ended them was other issues besides sex... It depends on how you both feel... If it feels right then do it..if it doesn't then don't.. simple and easy...

Don't listen to those who say it is wrong and you should never do it...and don't listen to those who say go ahead and do it... Just go with the situation and how you feel... Morals, and committment and all that have nothing to do with it. If it feels right go ahead...

 Belly Drummer Girl
Joined: 8/16/2005
Msg: 11
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:30:45 AM
Oops just found this thread already done under Dating Experiences:

Does having sex when you meet for the first time ruin a chance for a real relationship?

Sorry did a thread search never came up with anything.
 LaReina63
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 12
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:34:53 AM
Yup... and married for 7 years no less!
 Orange Juice Blues
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 13
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:35:11 AM
In my early 20s I was somewhat of a ho', so I can answer this question. Yes and No. I've had a relationship after having sex on the first date. I've also had one night stands. There is no cut and dry answer here. I would say that, as I've grown older, sex on the first date would be rare now--because I'm more concerned with getting to know a woman than jumping into the sack. That's not to say, however, I won't rip a woman's clothes off if I feel like things are going really well after a few dates.
 SarinHighwind
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 14
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:35:20 AM
Well, i've said this in the previous posts on this subject.


If you are going to have sex on a first date, you need to discuss it with your parnter.
And the guy should be respectfull before penintrateing to ask, even though this is a turn off, "are you sure about us doing this?"

Sometimes women can get caught up in the emotions of what is going on. If the guy dosn't ask, the girl should ask the same.

Its a last second check to make sure you guys have the same feelings about it.
 Stevie_T
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 15
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:35:46 AM
Yes it definitely can. I can't speak for women but I know that as a man if i manage to achieve what is, lets face it, the goal of most single guys on a night out I then turn around and think "if she's done it with me she's likely to do it with others too"

Hypocritical I know but, hey, I'm a man!
 K3VLAR
Joined: 6/13/2005
Msg: 16
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:40:14 AM
if I meet a girl and have sexual relations with her on the same day, I will only see her as that, because it'll be like, "what else does she want?"
 Mastermechanic
Joined: 6/17/2006
Msg: 17
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 11:56:25 AM
It depends so much on individuals. I don't see sex on a first date as disrepectful at all yet some do. I personally think that there is not a thing wrong with it ,in fact it satisfies a very important part of a burgeoning relationship right off the bat. Better to know this part sooner rather than later , I think ! ..lol Sex between total strangers might not be as wise but, heck, I know that might work as well. Again, it's an individual preference really.

Mastermechanic
 booty_licious
Joined: 7/11/2006
Msg: 18
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 7/28/2006 12:07:03 PM
If I have had sex on a first date, thats all it will be. Just sex. I am not interested in pursuing the relationship any further. I think you should wait until the second date....hahaha! Just kidding. I do like the occasional one nighter, but thats all it will be. I am sure this goes for men too.
 tie
Joined: 7/4/2006
Msg: 19
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 10:53:12 AM
i really dont think there is a right or wrong answer to this

and no wrong or right answer, but every thing needs a balance

everyone know when they are ready to share that with a person, same night, 2 mths from now.
all different
 RAMPIE
Joined: 1/13/2006
Msg: 20
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:50:55 AM
People are all differnt what's right for one is not the rule of the world. Sex is a part of a loveing relationship sex is a part of love and love rules the world. So to yourself be true and make sure what you do is moving the world forward to a world of love. Not a world of hate and war been there done that and would rather love a lady then kill a man
 Double Cabin
Joined: 11/29/2004
Msg: 21
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:56:10 AM
Adults have the choice to nurture something or not. Bad sex, probably. Spectacular sex for both of us, probably not.

Edit: Ladies, if a man has sex with you on the first date and disrespects you for a decision he concurred with is he in the end worth your time? Of course not, fuggedaboutit.
 rainbowfishh
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 22
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 11:57:16 AM
I dont know if sex on the first date
kills the relationship but I can assure you... getting naked together
doesnt !


 Ama-mo
Joined: 3/23/2006
Msg: 23
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:02:37 PM
I have done that once in my much younger days and it turned into a 2 year relationship. The reason I agreed to go on a date with him in the first place was that he was one of the nicest guys I had ever met...maybe that's why it wasn't a 1 night stand...and maybe that is why I felt comfortable enough to sleep with him. We had only met once before the actual date, but I already knew I could trust him.
 JessKO
Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 24
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Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:05:05 PM
All my serious relationships started out with sex early on.

I think it's silly to trash someone for giving it up on the first night.

You can still get to know someone after you bang them.

 Orange Juice Blues
Joined: 7/19/2006
Msg: 25
Sex on a First Date - Does it Kill a Potential Relationship?
Posted: 9/7/2006 12:05:09 PM
Yeah, it can work. I had sex with my ex-wife on the first date. And no, that's not why we got a divorce.

As for other women I've had sex with on the first date, no relationship came out of it.

The idea itself: Sex doesn't kill anything (but STDs can). Peoples' assumptions about what the sex means on a first date certainly do kill potential dates. But let's set it straight: people kill potential dates, not sex.
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