| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:39:15 AM | | This is probably the hardest (and most potentally embarrising)question I have ever asked. What do you ladies think/feel about a guy still being a virgin at 21? and the main reason why is to save for that special someone or marriage. (and trust me, I've been tempted to break it) just tired of so many guy friends not uderstanding my reasons. I have not really dated much either, been focused on my education. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:46:14 AM | | Who cares what everyone else thinks about it, i commend you for being so strong, if you are truly waiting on your soulmate and wedding night to lose it.. then damnit wait.. what are you really missing out on?? if you can keep yourself satisfied with your horomones raging then i guess you are doing a pretty damn good job | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:51:21 AM | Not a turn off.
It would only be a turn off to me if the guy was remaining a virgin due to religious reasons. If that is the case, I'm running towards the exit.
But then you are cute, OP. You should not be having problems when it comes to women. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 7:52:11 AM | Man, you should be proud.
It's not an easy thing to stay "pure" this day and age.
And even harder to admit it, so props for that.
Stick to your beliefs.
There are plenty of wonderful women out there who will respect you all the more for it.
And who will be willing to wait along with you... or who believe the same as you. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:04:24 AM | | Thanks for encouraging words all. I'm really liking the community around here. (sorry about typos in OP, insomnia for the loss) | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:14:29 AM | Don't do what my friend did! He suddenly decided he'd really had enough of being a virgin and rushed into something with a girl he met online. She was extremely pretty, but really, not a nice person. He lost his virginity pretty fast, sure enough, but when he found she'd given him something, resulting in embarrassing trips to the clinic and a huge amount of stress, rather than being supportive she turned psycho b*tch and dumped him in a nasty way.
Anyway. Don't rush... 21 is certainly nothing freaky :) Wait until you find the right person and the right moment... and don't be ashamed of doing that. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:17:59 AM | man...dont listen to what other people say you SHOULD do...do what you feel is right in your heart and soul! If you want to remain a virgin until you are married then do that! It's your life, your body, your mind...and its only you who is going to have to live with your decisions in the end.
I commend you for still being a virgin! in todays day and age thats amazing! And no you're not really alone!!! My boyfriend is almost 27 and has only been with one woman other than me...and has only been with me because he is positive he loves me, and wants to be with me long term speaking..
So hang in there..be strong and follow your heart! | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:18:45 AM | | I have many friends who were virgins at 21, and a few who still are... My friend Kay, who I used to work with, is 26 and is still saving herself for "that one special guy" (she's very religious, so it's the whole fornication-is-a-sin thing)... I really admire people like you and her, because that takes a lot of willpower, especially in the 21st century where sex is everywhere. Most of my friends didn't make it to their sweet sixteen before they lost it. It takes a strong person to do that. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:25:26 AM | I'm 30 and virgin, so what?
Until i find the right woman to commit in a lifelong relationship, i don't see why lose my virginity for some woman who is not right for me. Why should i?
Its better to give your virginity as a gift to the one who deserves to get it, rather than lose it just so you gain the experience and be among the "cool" people.
Trust me on this one, when you meet the right woman for you, she will respect you for who you are. Those who can't, don't deserve you. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:40:51 AM | ^^^^ RIGHT ON DUDE!!!  
I'm a 38 year old virgin, and like he said above me.....SO WHAT!!! And yes, the hormones are still raging, and have not let me rest since puberty.... Until I find the right one, and the right moment, I am going to stay this way. And no it isn't for religious reasons either. Just a commitment to myself... | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:55:02 AM | i was a virgin till i was 30 .... found the right girl .....or so i thought got married had 2 wonderful kids and all was great! but inevitabley she wondered what she had been missing. i was crushed that she could not be happy with just me.... but i have moved on and i don't regret saving myself for one person ,...because of my beutiful children. but... the one person isn't the one i was waiting for. so here i am hoping to find someone who will accept me for the person i have become. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 8:58:11 AM | | I see absolutely nothing wrong with it. My 2 best guy friends are virgins and one is 26, the other is 24. The 24 year old wants to, but he has erectile problems and can't afford to see a doc (he's in the states). The 26 year old is just waiting for marriage... it doesn't diminish the fact that they are absolutely wonderful people.. they just haven't had sex. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:00:41 AM | When I married my husband (now ex), he was 30 years old and a virgin, nothing wrong with that.
~beach | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:12:51 AM | I admire you! I'm still one, at age 28, and I dont' mind admitting that the main reason is because I want to obey God. As this thread proves, there are a range of reasons that people wait; the common theme is that no one has a right to look down on you for it, and you shouldn't compromise just to "fit in."
Be yourself, and be proud of who you are. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 7/28/2006 9:16:00 AM | | Nobody should tell you what you should and shouldn't do with your body, and if you want to wait to have sex til you're 30 or 50 or 90 it doesn't matter. So no, a man being a virgin is not a turn off at all. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 2:16:52 PM | I know of a few people that waited until they got married...well into their mid to late twenties. There's nothing to be embarrassed about and everything to be proud of. I think that for someone that waits has so much more to offer to a marriage. It really is sacred.
Kudos to you!! | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 2:39:45 PM | | Your friends are idiots. Sex complicates everything. It might feel good, but it's not the end all and be all. You are a stronger person then your friends for sticking to your beliefs. You will find a woman that understands and respects that otherwise just keep looking. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 6:17:08 PM | Kudos to you for waiting. If it means that much to you, then stick to it. Who gives a flying fig about what your buddies say. You have to be comfortable with your decisions and choices, and you obviously are. So way to go! I can't say it'd be a turn off, but then again, if I was really into a guy and he was a virgin, I'm not sure I'd want him to stay that way for long. LOL I'd respect his choice, but jeezum crow it'd be tough!  | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 6:36:06 PM | Nothing wrong with being a virgin.
Someday you will give that gift to a very special gal.
Trust me your saving yourself a lot of drama in the long run. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 6:48:31 PM | "Man, you should be proud.
It's not an easy thing to stay "pure" this day and age.
And even harder to admit it, so props for that."
If it's so hard why is it completly impossible?
25 years old. Not ashamed to admit it but didn't think thins would be like this either.
Oh and no Im not desperate and I won't sleep with just anybody but I never had any intention to keep my virginity at all and because of this it's very frusterating.
I actually even stopped being a christian because I felt that choosing to lose my virginity before marriage would have been a contradiction. I don't beleive in contradicting myself if I can help it so I chose that I shouldn't follow something my beleifs don't correlate with.
Anyways what was the point. Of course I have other reasons for not being religious but it kind of annoys me when I think of it.
I went to some club with my brother in what the first time in ages, I couldn't even go up to any of the women, just couldn't and I don't even know why. I don't even feel nervous I just couldn't. I feel like they all hate me and I have to much bitterness now that it's probably a waste to bother.
Not like any of them were really interested from what I saw anyways. | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 7:28:03 PM | Heres my views on why I don't care about losing my virginity. For one your only young once. I kind of feel it's a waste of youth if I can't have at least experienced what it's like to have sex when my body is still healthy and can actually handle such a thing. When im 50 I don't even think I want to even care about sex. I don't want to be one of those dirty old men that stares at girls that come to the mall but I do want to enjoy my youth while I still have it. Also, If im with a women I want to marry, it might be best to have sex with her before marriage for the fact that if she turns out to not want to be with me just over what the sex was like whats the point of waiting until marriage? It's better to weed out what people will stay with you based on more than just sex or because their happy in that area just as much as they are in the intellectual side. I beleive that people should be sure their compatible with someone else. I don't beleive in random promiscuity either. I won't do one night stands, I beleive in protected sex until marriage, I beleive people should be morally responsible for their sexual activity and should practice safety. I have to learn to care a little less about getting to have sex. I just have reached a point in my life where I don't even beleive ill be able to meet someone to date let alone sex. I could wait until marriage if I found a woman I enjoy being with and get along with well since I value that much more. Im an intellectual person I value being with someone for the intellectual merit so im just more miffed I can't even meet someone in the first place.
I was made fun of a lot for not being popular in school and the virginity and masturbation jokes were abound, all of that causes me to feel frusteration when I realize I can't seem to be able to talk to women or look for someone to date. I had guys make fun of me everyday about not having a girlfreind. So much that it damaged me. I don't really care about losing my virginity but they made fun of me so much on a daily basis that I couldn't tolerate it anymore. They literally made me lose my sanity and it's to the point that if I were magically 17 again and in highschool I would actually beat them all with a baseball bat just to not hear anymore stupid masturbation jokes. They wouldn't send women to pretend to like me while holding hands with their boyfreind, or have women pretend to like me as a trick, I would have peace and I wouldn't have the recurring stress I get now whenever I think about the fact that I still haven't met anyone to date.
That movie the 40 year old virgin causes me to feel a lot of stress and anger because im scared that ill wake up one day at forty and ill never accomplish my goal of finding someone to marry and start a family. It just reminds me of how incapable I am and it hurts unimaginably. Not because of the virginity issue but the whole inability to relate with a woman at all or to be able to trust them. Or the ability to beleive that they could find you physically attractive and desirerable.
Just to make things clear I don't prioritize sex im interested in having a few relationships just to understand what it's like to be in a relationship with another person not because of the sex. Also I want to know how to be a good person in a relationship, I don't beleive that can happen without experience. I also don't care about whos better in bed either I value being able to live with the person and being able to share a life with them a lot more.
Just that the experiences I had in highschool eat at my mind sometimes, I suffer a lot of stress from feelings of incapability and those jokes were daily not just every now and then. They were everyday for 6 years of my school life. From grade 5 all the way to gr 12. It wasn't fun. People could say ignore, this ignore that. You didn't have guys make fun of you in every class, every day, every week, every hour, every ten minutes, every five minutes, every minute. It's almost like I went through shell shock and suffer postraumatic stress. Laugh if you will but it's almost like that. I had one guy blow kisses at me not just at school but at the mall, in the school yard even down the street. Oh and no he wasn't gay he had a girlfreind, he just did it to torment me as much as possible it wasn't like he did it once or twice he did it everyday in math class, did it for three years when he passed by me in the hall way of the school. Three years after highschool he saw me at a mall and started doing it again. I actually have the desire to kill him because in the primative part of my brain, I felt like he would never stop. Like if I ask politely he wont stop. It's like I would have to beat him, attack him, resort to violence so that way I could walk down the street and be left alone. I was a forgiving person I did my best to bite my lip, turn the other cheek, and not get into fights and all it did was drive me crazy. I don't have anything against homosexuals either and it's not a big deal to be bothered by a guy blowing kisses at you but It wouldn't stop. Day in and day out. Even though I won't attack the guy I think about skinning him alive.
I don't have a soul anymore because all I could think of is violent and painful things I could do so that way the teasing would end, and go away and eventually killing them was all I could think about. | |
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kall22
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Joined: 7/22/2006
Msg: 23 | |
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 7:32:59 PM | | keep doing what your doing. you'd be surprised how many guys are still virgins your age. its just that people lie and hide that they are b/c they are embarrased what others might think of them | |
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AlexSB
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Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 24 | |
| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 7:40:25 PM | What do you consider encouraging?
Personally, I gave in at 23...I couldn't take the harassment from friends, etc...
And I was curious to see if it was indeed as fantastic as everyone says it is...well it is...but it's not everything by any means
21 is still pretty young man...but I'd think by 30 you should likely have lost the "V"
After that, I'm not sure how many woman would find that attractive as it's starting to get weird (apologies to any 30+ virgins but it's true).
Ultimately what matters, is what you really think...if you want it, go get it...if it's not a big deal wait it out...
I say, don't blow it on that "girl that matters" B$ though...cause I'd be very surprised if you actually stayed with her...just look at the statistics...
How many people stay with the first person they sleep with and never experience anything else again??? Probably a small minority...
Cheers :) | |
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| Still a virgin!?
Posted: 8/13/2006 7:48:03 PM | | Ah, a young man with values. How refreshing. Hold onto to your values/beliefs and don't let anyone suggest that there's something wrong with you (there isn't). The "guys" bug you about it because they envy your strength of character. | |
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