| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:11:28 AM | | Just curious....why do so many women say they dont like a guy who "just wants sex"? Women often comment they want to wait until the 3rd date or longer to have sex. That its got to be meaningful etc... Why is that? | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:18:31 AM | | everyone is different, but some women just want sex aswell, people just have to be a bit more honest in what they want........i dont think it matters when you have sex when you meet someone so long as it feels right..... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:22:16 AM | I guess I'm quite the novice ... I've never experienced "meaningless" sex. How does that work for a woman? Just lay in the bed and spread your legs and let the guy go for it?
OH DEAR ... now I have my curiosity up ... what does a guy do when he's having "meaningless" sex?
If I knew that, then I'd know if I want it or not and then could maybe tell you why I only want meaningful sex. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:25:08 AM | Sex on the first date makes the woman feel a bit slutty, and it discourages further dates sometimes because no-one got to know each other, just had a nice (or bad) ****
Limbo lu | |
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ixi0n
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Joined: 6/30/2004
Msg: 5 | |
| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 12:31:02 AM |
Just curious....why do so many women say they dont like a guy who "just wants sex"? Women often comment they want to wait until the 3rd date or longer to have sex. That its got to be meaningful etc... Why is that?
They find it hard because it's with you..... | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:07:26 AM | | Now come on people....you know how many threads there are about how guys just message them for sex and how they dont want sex on the first date.....peleeeeeeease. I just wanna see why they like to wait. Its common knowledge....but where does it originate from? Why do they feel slutty? Come on ladies.....help us understand this insistence on sex with emotional connection. I personally find sex with emotional connection boring. I like new sex and sex thats anonymous and impersonal. But women want an emotional connection, am i correct? Its commonly said....but is it true these days? | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:20:40 AM | If the attraction AND personality is present, why not? At my age and the age of men I date, (older) I feel we are both mature enough to have the games behind us. Whats the point of getting to know someone and then later find out the 2 of you are not compatable in that department.
Dates are few and far between for me, so meaniless sex? There is no such thing for me. | |
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ixi0n
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Joined: 6/30/2004
Msg: 13 | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:47:48 AM | I personally find sex with emotional connection boring. I like new sex and sex thats anonymous and impersonal.
That's what hookers are for ... go for it! Is there a shortage in Vancouver?
You still have not told me what "meaningless" sex is ... how does that work? You hit on the woman ... she and you go find a place where she can discriminately spread her legs ... you get your nutts off and that's it? I'm guessing here ... never experienced it ... help me out.
edit for post directly below:
or maybe you have dated monkees instead of men.
Have not dated any monkeys ... was married for over 22 years and had meaningful sex with my husband. I sincerely have never experienced "meaningless" sex. I get to know my partners before I take that step in any relationship. That's all there is to it ... nothing else. That's why I asked the question ... DUH! | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:47:55 AM | OMG Trolls X2.....i wil be single a very long time. So we have a "must have emotional connection" poster who takes a shot at me instead of ansering the question. zzzzzz....next....and then another male poster who is trying to score points with women on here by telling me he wont sleep with someone on the first date....and taking a poke at me.....twice the boredom in one thread!
Please dont feed me that holier than thou crap. Lets stick to answering the basic question. Does society still shame women who surrender to sexual impulses? I thought we were past all that.
Cotter, I will ignore the negative tone of your post and correct your fantasy
We meet, we feel attraction, we give each other pleasure, comfort and tenderness. Since when does sex on the first date imply she lies there like a rubber doll while I selfishly get my rocks off? And selfish sex isnt confined to first dates, its present in many marriages.
So dont assume that immediate sex is a selfish male act whereby the woman acts as a receptacle. sheesh......now thats old fashioned thinking....or maybe you have dated monkees instead of men. | |
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ixi0n
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Joined: 6/30/2004
Msg: 16 | |
| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:55:40 AM | I am not trying to score any points with the women on here.....Ok, well maybe one, and she should know who she is. The fact that any woman would sleep with you is a miracle, and you should count yourself lucky.
Now to answer your ridiculously obvious answered question, yes society still shames women who "surrender" to sexual impulses. Want some advice? Get out more, and you'd see that for yourself, with your MANY women. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 1:56:57 AM | | I did answer the basic question then left an opinion as to what you posted. Of course society shames women that are open in sexual nature. Where have you been living? I'm just saying, there isn't many women I know that would respond to you saying "emotional sex is boring" - if you know some and they prescribe to being your one-nighter and never again, then yay for you. No need to get nasty because you don't like other's opinions. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:06:18 AM | Just to set the tone. I am quite sexually fulfilled now...so its not a personal matter for me. I can have sex whenever I like, so I dont really give a hoot about my own perspective. What i want to do is open up some discussion, which might have sleaziness to it...but that has to be avoided.
^where have u been living?
U raise a valid point. Our attitudes toward sexuality are a product of a Christian-Judeo heritage and arent shared across cultures and time. The shaming business. the sluttiness, isnt this our old pastors come back to haunt us...perhaps wiht threats of hell!
In all my threads I am trying to deconstruct our presuppositions. If you dont know what that means, google both words then come back.
What I am saying is that we still carry vestiges of shame about our bodies, and abouit the female body. So my challenge is whether you think that our dating rituals are stuck with this baggage? I think they are. Half the population is single in Canada, higher in some regions. There is a breakdown of pair bonding. POF and other sites are attempts to capture its dying breaths....thats my thesis. That we are on our way, as a civilization, toward androgyny and pair bonding as we know marriage to be, is disintegrating. Strongarm legislation like forbidding gay marriage does nothing to address this trend.
So this isnt another....why dont chicks put out? thread......I am trying to see why we are such a collective disaster zone, as a culture, surrounding sex.
Google and grab this book if you can;
Boy-Wives and Female Husbands: Studies in African Homosexualities, by Stephen O. Murray and Will Roscoe
Dont let the title limit you. Its more a book about to challenge your Western sensitivities surrounding sex and love.
So the question....why do women create this myth of emotinoal intimacy as a pre requisite for good sex? | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 3:22:49 AM | Well, I haven't been able to look at all the profiles of the posters here but, I am seeing a trend that indicates that society and geographic location (as related to society's views on sex) have a lot to do with how she feels about sex on a first date. I live in the 'Bible Belt' which is historically dominated by Southern Baptists (I'm not slamming any religion or religous views..I, myself, am a Baptist) and women here are predominantly against sex on a first date.
Could it be that our upbringing is affecting our attitude on this?..older generations seem to be more conservative and wait to have sex after multiple dates...the younger generations that were raised by parents who lived in the 'free love' era are much more open minded about sex and more inclined to have sex on the first date...therefore, their children will be even more open minded about it, etc...I really don't see that it is women playing control games because they want to wait or being a slut because they are ready to throw down on the first date..it's the programming we have recieved in our raising. JMO. | |
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kmhstx
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Joined: 8/23/2005
Msg: 20 | |
| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:14:46 AM |
I personally find sex with emotional connection boring. I like new sex and sex thats anonymous and impersonal.
We meet, we feel attraction, we give each other pleasure, comfort and tenderness
Does anyone else feel that it would be very hard to comfort and be tender with someone that you feel is anonymous and impersonal? I mean that makes very little sense and it makes me think that the OP has no idea what real comfort and tenderness is.
Now if I was going to sleep with someone on the first date....I would hope that first I wouldn't be judged for it by him as a slut because hey BIG double standard. And it would basically because we were both hot physically for each other. That being said I did it once and I won't do it again....it was a very empty experience for me.
I don't think women should be judged for it. But I really really feel sad for the OP that he finds sex with an emotional connection boring. | |
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pyrea
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Joined: 7/24/2006
Msg: 21 | |
| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 5:47:41 AM | Here's a good one...I dunno, STD's
LOL
Obviously on a first date you can't be certain of where that persons been, sure there's protection but that's not 100% guaranteed. He could be a complete freakazoid too or someone that can't keep his mouth shut. Personally I'm not going to take my clothes off infront of a guy I hardly know, it's a trust thing there.
I prefer to know them thanks...besides some have skeletons in their closets and its better to wait to find out about them before you jump in the sack with them. You know a skeleton with a wedding ring on their finger perhaps ;).
A man who holds it against a woman for not putting out on the first date is a man who needs to learn how to deal with his own sexual needs. Grab some lube...your right hand and a private room.
What is the problem if a chick doesn't want to do it asap? She isn't obligated too just because you went out together and obviously if it 'felt right' for her, she probably would have done it. Just cause it 'felt right' for you at the time, doesn't mean she was on the same wavelength...she may have just said "she'd rather wait till the third date" to be polite. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:38:53 AM | The title of this thread should be:
"Why do North American women find sex on the first date so wierd?"
Ever been to Europe or South America? There, the word sex is as normal as, let's say, bread. You even mention the word sex on a first date here and BLAMMO, all of a sudden she remembers that she has to pick up her mother from the airport.
Most women on this upper half of the planet have themselves on Moral Pesdastols looking down at those who don't follow strict procedures of "waiting until she is ready, else you are a disrespectful pig" mentality.
North American women are prudes compared to the rest of the world. I guess it is an insecurity issue, since making a guy wait means she knows she can control him somewhat. | |
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| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:56:07 AM | | Big double standard about judging...you go girl! I am NOT a slut but in my view, I find the real height in euphoric intimacy does not necessarily require emotional connections between two lovers. It is possible for only one participant to feel the "comfort and tenderness" emotions while the other does not, which is what I have recently experienced for the very first time. My newest lover does not share any emotional connection with me but he does take me to a whole new sexual dimension that I would never give up, not even for a million dollars. Never in my wildest dreams did I ever expect to feel so wonderful and fulfilled even though my partner does not feel the emotions. Meaningless sex, however, in my opinion is another subject altogether. I have had meaningless sex, and although it may satisfy some of my physiology, it does leave me feeling empty in my soul. I used to equate these two but have now expanded my mind to explore the differences. In my view, one may as well masterbate or seek out a prostitute to have meaningless sex... lets face reality here....our hormones require just as much nurturing as the rest of our bodies and minds...its simply just part of our physical makeup, but I think by allowing one's mind to grow and learn what is so incredible about sex without emotions truly gives credance that one is totally honest with oneself and can feel just as wonderful without the emotional connections. So for those who have not yet attained this level of awareness of yourself, I only feel sad for you because it is totally indescribable. As for having sex on a first date, in today's world, I find it has become more socially acceptable without the labelling so why not if the chemistry is there. I am not one to participate on a first date simply because I find it more exciting to build the hunger for one another..kind of like "absence makes the heart grow fonder", so I may wait for date #2 or #3. The anticipation is a total turn on, but until one connects sexually, one never knows if it will be meaningless or not or whether it will develop into something more meaningful at a later time, so why waste anyone's precious commodity in life...TIME...by waiting any longer than that. One may never see tomorrow, so why deny yourself pleasure simply because your priority is emotions. | |
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whatza
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Joined: 5/20/2006
Msg: 25 | |
| Why do women find sex on a first date so weird?
Posted: 7/29/2006 7:20:41 AM | ^^ holy crap wordswordswords ^^
Chicks don't put out on the first date, because if it was that easy to get it there would be more guys who didn't call back. Most girls have nothing else of worth to offer, so they have to hold the sex over a guys head to get him to stick around. That's all there is to it. | |
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