| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:06:53 PM | | I met a guy at a dance about 3.5 months ago..he swept me off my feet and seemed to really like me and was super complimentary and told me I was beautiful and went on and on..was not drinking and did not seem like a player... been single for a long time since his divorce......20 years...ok we are older but we have the same issues as you young people.,...hmmmmm...Then anyways we had a good time and I asked him to take my number and email...he did call once...did not leave a message and did not call back..I called him 10 days later and we talked for over half an hour and seemed to have a good connection but he never offered any follow up so I told him to call me if he was ever in NaNAIMO..he lives in in a town which is about a half hour drive only.....and I suggested meeting for coffee...n then nothing..then about three weeks ago he left a message on my machine saying he remembered we were going to meet but did not come up to Nanaimo but if I was going to hia town sometime to let him know as he lived near the the Market there and we could meet for coffee and would like to get together then left his nubmer and name twice.....He doesn't drink so he could not have been drunk at the dance but he sure seemed to back off after I offered my number (which I rarely do.).... I dunno if I will evencall him as his response has been very weak....but we did have a super connection.....What are your thoughts? I know this was not internet dating but I still like the real face to face stuff better.PLease give this 50+ lady some feedback here..thanks. | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:20:18 PM | after 3 and a half months and this is all you have to show for it. i'd call it a day with this man and keep on looking.
why did he say all those things to you at the dance? you are pretty. so he had to of meant that. but maybe hes not really looking to settle down. maybe he likes his life being single. who knows. but you're looking for long term so stick with your plan ...
good luck | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:52:43 PM | | Maybe you are right although I rarely get chemistry......is it the guess he is just not into me thing again? | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/29/2006 10:59:37 PM | I'll bet he got honestly swept up in the moment with you...he's a romantic
....and then he got typical, single guy, cold feet.
That has happened to me a few times, so for alot of guys.... we start to worry.
Afraid that we overreacted the first time ( we go simple when we see pretty girls , don't forget).
Now, we fear the next step is like crossing the Rubicon,...point of no return,,,
YIKES!!....Comittment!
So, then we have to slow up and reassess ( hence the call backs, vague but enough to buy us time while we try to figger ).
But there's pressure, see? We know we're supposed to come up with something.
The cave man does it his way.
We're not really allowed that so much these days.
And those of us that aren't 20 anymore, we've learned a few things. One of them is patience.....and caution...lol
Anyway, I'll bet he's at the point where he's paralized .... happens alot.."you never called!'' you say, he says "i know...ummm" .
Alot of guys bail out by just not doing anything...figgerin out girls is tough...can't be done.
So, it's your turn to make a move at this point. You gotta take charge and get it the way you want it ...
....or go out and bethrall another one.
hope a little insight helps | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/29/2006 11:08:13 PM | | It does help..and makes sense...I may call at least and see which way the wind blows...thanks. | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:36:11 PM | | ok I am waivering again..any more points of view...do any other men agree with the last guy who I beleive to be very honest and typical and I do appreciate his response and am really thinking I may need to make the next move but am actually a bit conflicted still. | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:51:47 PM | Maybe he has been single since his divorce but has he been in a LTR. Maybe he is waivering back and forth with an xgf. Something is not right. If he was interested seems like he would have at least met for coffee. Heck a half hour is not far to drive.
Personally I would have felt like I wasn't worth him driving to meet but if I happen to be in his area he would meet me. | |
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delve
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Joined: 2/8/2006
Msg: 9 | |
| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:08:46 PM | Hi angelmate, I'm a woman but I completely agree with Tincup as I've done the same thing.
It's difficult to go from being single and thinking/acting like a single person to making room for someone else in your life.
I don't think he'd keep in touch at all if he wasn't interested. he has invited you to coffee and I think that if you like him, you should approach it as you would an invite from a friend - take him up on it. Don't pressure him or yourself and just let the chips fall where they may.
Just try not to get caught up in the romance of it because the more you do that, the more pressure he'll feel and back off.
I hope this helps. | |
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| should I bother? any ideas???
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:49:14 PM | | Thank you Delve...That really does help..I do the same thing..back up and up and up as I am doing now..that is excellent advice to approach it as a friend..would I just not respond to a friend and try to figure out their motives etc etc etc..answer is no ....I would just think oh he/she has not been up this way but wants to get together for coffee..great...the other thought is he does not drink so maybe he does not have a car either..just a thought but I really loved your perspective...wow....why does it have to be so complicated...coffee can just be coffee..friendship is valuable in itself...I reallly thank you for putting it into perspective instead of treating men I am attracted to different than anyone else..thanks thanks thanks. | |
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