judgy
| | Joined: 8/30/2005
Msg: 1 | |
| | Is dating in your 30's a "DEAD ZONE"????Page 1 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | OK, I'm sure I can't be the only one, but correct me if I'm wrong but I find it extremely diffcult dating being in my mid 30's.
A large majority of younger women want men their age or only slightly older... women my age, are for the most part divorced/seperated/single but with kids(ie busy). This isn't necesarily a bad thing, but many are in a female life crisis and actually chasing only younger men. Also, a lot of mid 30's women are single for a reason, ie: they are extremely sucessful career wise and do not even want to settle down, or have time to date. This applies to men, as well of course.
Thoughts? | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:26:31 AM | I wish I could agree or disagree. I've been single by choice for a while, and have only recently decided to try and change the situation. I couldn't say whether it's good or bad, yet I'm sure time will tell.
Keep the faith man, as everything happens for a reason. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 5:44:57 AM | | I find dating a lot more difficult because finding places to meet new people my age is harder. I'm not one to want to meet people in a bar situation...and most of my interests aren't group oriented. POF helps..but you have to be VERY careful!! LOL | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 6:56:55 AM | I know for myself, it is the choice I made to stay single and not have any kids until now. I am 35, and all my friends are married with at least two kids. Now that I want to settle down, I realise that most men in my age range are either married, divorced (some with HUGE chops on their shoulders about women), separated with kids (the ex will always be a factor in the relationship), or bums that never grew up and still live at home (these ones really bug me).
There is just not as many clear options out there for the mid 30' dating scene.
I agree, it is very difficult to find someone in this age group who actually has time to try out new relationships... but they are out there. Anybody from this site who states 'they are too busy to date' shouldn't waste the bandwidth on POF, and the rest of us should jump in with two feet when someone wants to meet (I mean, only if you feel a connection)
Life crisis can happen in any age group...so that shouldn't be a hallmark of the 30's dating scene...but defintely a red flag when you meet someone!
my two cents worth.... | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 7:51:25 AM | I thought being in high school was awkward and lonely LOL -- most women my age seem to be either professional or married w/children or burnt and suspicious of the singles scene (and/or crazy)... all I know is youre supposed to put yourself first--take care of yourself, be good to yourself... then things happen | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 8:50:53 AM | Dating in my twenties was alot easier then it is now. Now as it seems ladies in there mid twenties are alot more materialistic and superficial in what they are looking for when it comes to a man. Woman in there thirties are a different story, which can or cannot complicate things further depending on what it is.
I'm actually debating about trying my luck over seas or down south where the woman are not as spoiled and are generally more tradional when it comes to relationships. Not to say I expect a woman to be at home and take care of the kids. What I mean is that their happy to have a man that has a job and is good to them. Unlike here where now I've been noticing that woman are concerned with what kind of work you do.
I kinda think that East Indians had the right idea with there concept of arranged marriages.
Such is life I guess now adays.... | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 9:29:40 AM | ok dude let me try to nail this down for ya,, young women will sometimes be attracted to the car you drive or how popular you are ecc. as women get older they are a little harder to be fooled,(as most have already been) they look more for honesty and security,, this shouldn't be perceived as materialistic, its just common sense on there part.
to find a woman over sea,s or down south,,lol what does that say about you,, it sends a message that your not willing to try and start a relationship based on equality trust and compatibility, just by making that statement it says you just want to boom boom long time,
i am sure if you start out by not painting them all with the same brush or geographical location you might stand a better chance finding the girl for you, maybe just maybe it might just be something about you , by that i mean the way in which you present yourself,
i for one don't really pursue a woman who says all men are pigs, or all guys lie,, your starting behind the finish line with anyone who holds those opinions,
just lighten up a bit and present yourself as confident and secure, i think that would work better for ya
but that's just my humble opinion | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:58:09 AM | | personally I understand your frustration especially being a man who does not want children of his own. I find that finding someone that fits into your grocery list is quite difficult unless you are willing to venture past it. I think if you met someone that is supendously awesome sometimes you forgo the list.......... I like when that happens, the feeling is remarkable... | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:12:08 AM | I loved being single in my 30s. I haven't dated since I've been in my 40s, but I think there are just as many options now as there were 5 years ago. JMO  | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:16:32 AM | good post write guy
So does that mean you have canceled your sponsorship of those two twin Danish live in nannies? (didnt you nic name then Boom & Boom?) | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 11:48:38 AM | to find a woman over sea,s or down south,,lol what does that say about you,, it sends a message that your not willing to try and start a relationship based on equality trust and compatibility, just by making that statement it says you just want to boom boom long time,
How do you figure this is what I ment?? Not willing? Boom boom??? Please take off your rose coloured glasses for you totally missed my point.
If I wanted a woman for just "boom boom" as you would say, I would have made a profile in the intimate section of this website.....
ust lighten up a bit and present yourself as confident and secure, i think that would work better for ya
Dude you don't even know me, why would you say this?
I suggest you keep your delusional humble opinions to yourself, you obviously lack reading comprehensive skills.
write guy: not quite right At least you got that right! | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:24:29 PM |
i for one don't really pursue a woman who says all men are pigs, or all guys lie,, your starting behind the finish line with anyone who holds those opinions
Interesting... I've never thought much about these statements, as I just consider them to be generalizations that all women say at one point. Yet it may be the case that if a woman does think and hold these phrases to be true, that you may be fighting the current. Having to prove yourself at every turn would kind of suck... but this is an extreme that I'm sure isn't the case for most.
---
lol Dustine. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:58:19 PM | I think in general a fair amount of people in their 30's tend to be more set in their ways. Flexablity is not as easy to find as it once was. The trick is to not give up for there has got to be someone with the same ideas and wants in life that you have.. Just takes time to pass her way and her yours.
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 4:48:15 PM | lol struck a nerve did I, come on dude your the one who said you think arranged marriage is a good thing,, is it because you lack the confidence necessary to converse with a woman, how about a little female circumcision so your the only one who enjoys the sex? that would be ok to, arranged marriage is great if your a wart covered luddite with no social skills
you ask why would i say that about you ,, well for starters you seem like you don't have the confidence to approach a woman in your culture ,, and i assume that from "your"statements in "your" post,,
if attacking me personally makes you feel better then go ahead, if someone posting a response to your post isn't on board with you, do you always get so defensive? maybe that's why you have a hard time meeting the right one for you,, your looking for a servant not a woman,,lol good luck with that, but just so you know women these days aren't easily lured by chocolate and nylons,,but hey if you really want to i am sure there are other countries that you could go to a find a woman who is very satisfied with just having three meals a day,,
so bash if you will i welcome it,, but my opinion is just that mine,, try to remember the deceptive power of the written word, it is always read in the mood of the reader not the writer,,
and i may not be quite right but, i am the write guy coo coo ca chew
i bet even my nemesis the treeman would even agree with me here,, someone find me the tree man,
Dustine you wanna boom boom wit me? yeah ya do dont ya? gigity gigity  | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 4:51:38 PM | | 1 should ALWAYS make time 2 date regardless of a person`s age!.. and fyi.. i don`t chase younger males.. i don`t have patiences or time 4 them.. but thats my own personal preference.. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 4:55:23 PM | | HOW SOON IS NOW ,, your insight and wisdom humble me,,, you are the coolest dude here,, your posts always have that sensible air to them ,, don't go anywhere cause i think we are gonna need ya here on this one bro,, | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 5:52:25 PM | Having been guided to this thread by a friend, I find myself needing to make a few statements:
1) I am far from spoiled, and I happen to not live overseas.
2) Dating is never a "Dead Zone", it's what you make it, and that's at any age.
3) To expect a partner to be good to you is not necessarily "traditional", it's just common sense. You get what you give.
4) Swampy, just whom are you expecting to "arrange" a relationship for you? Write guy made some good points. This is 2006, c'mon now. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 8:52:21 PM | Hey write guy, thanks man. I also agree with your perspective.
Dating in my twenties was alot easier then it is now. Now as it seems ladies in there mid twenties are alot more materialistic and superficial in what they are looking for when it comes to a man.
This is called progression. When you were a kid, dating was stupid. You got into fights over why you didn't offer the last red M&M when you "KNOW" she loves the red ones... Things were so trivial back then, and in some cases they still are. Yet things change, and you have to change as well. What you define as superficial or materialistic is just them looking for the next level of guy vs a guy from highschool. They essentially want the same things we do - at least most of us - someone who has their shit together. You may or may not, but you can't blame them for wanting a little more as they get older, and I'm talking about both men and women.
To think is to be... to be is to live... to live is to change...
I'm actually debating about trying my luck over seas or down south where the woman are not as spoiled and are generally more tradional when it comes to relationships... What I mean is that their happy to have a man that has a job and is good to them. Unlike here where now I've been noticing that woman are concerned with what kind of work you do.
This is self-defeating. You are basically saying that you've given up. You are downgrading your preference of women to a perhaps less sophisticated variety - by western culture's standards - because the domestic variety aren't accepting you. The reason I say that you have given up is because you are using the word "luck". A successful relationship has nothing to do with luck, as it is about hard work, and it is a two way street. I'm not sure if you have ever worked in sales - as I had when I was younger - but in sales we have a principle called the Law of Averages. That for every amount of "NO"s you recieve, you will eventually get a "YES". I don't know about you, but when you are trying to earn money selling things door to door, it can be discouraging. Door slamming in your face, people screaming at you not to come back, threatening you in other ways... point is you don't give up. Someone will eventually say YES.
I kinda think that East Indians had the right idea with there concept of arranged marriages.
Such is life I guess now adays....
Life is only what you make of it. You define your reality with your own actions and beliefs. Like I said, don't give up, as you will meet someone eventually. Arranged marriages are stupid in my opinion, as it is all about natural selection. They take away the individuals right to freely choose... you can't force love.
My $0.02. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 9:21:10 PM | @write guy > maybe you should suggest a trip to Guam for the less 'lucky' men-folk. (lol)
@how soon is now > ditto that; well said.
@OP > chin up, only the first 100 years are hard; after that smooth sailing baby. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:16:50 PM | When we are in our 20's we are more carefree dating people without initial motives in mind. You think why not head out with the person and see if something more can happen naturally or unexpectedly, as in a relationship. Let's enjoy meeting new people and discovery of what they are about.
Over time after dating people in this manner, I think we tend to generalize or categorize people as soon as possible, "they a like this person, I remember.." almost looking for faults with them. Perhaps we are impatient and need to know everything up front. Expectations I think are raised now since we seem to have a specific criteria that must be met, but its not like a grocery list you take to the store.
What is actually lost it seems is the willingness to take what is now seen as a risk to get to know these people and cut straight to the search elsewhere decision. Perhaps previous bad experiences cause more and more people to become passive and end up with the line "Where are the good ones..." fueling skepticism about the existence of that special someone.
Philosophical quote:
If only we can look again at the world through the eyes of a child, we might be able to find greater happiness and less worry or fears.... | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:20:16 PM | | I ended up in the dating scene in my mid 30's. It took me sometime to figure out what I was doing and I am sure I scared off many men by my floundering ways. Now dating is getting better and I am figuring it out. My kids are about grown so I can have more time for myself, but I won't just ignore the fact that I do have one child living with me. Seems lots of men my age are wanting to start a family or have small children. I figure I will just enjoy life and see what it has for me in my future. | |
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| Is dating in your 30's a DEAD ZONE????
Posted: 7/30/2006 10:33:04 PM | dating kinda sucks for a guy in his 30's ..................... why?
-men are still attracted to the 'little 23 yr old'......that does not go away
-women our own age are .....................ummmmm not the 'little 23 yr old'
-woman in their late 20's are ultra serious about ----'breeding'
IE 'are you the one......to father my kids,settle down?"...............yikes,fvcking slowed down chick!!!!! ............... I just want to hang out maybe see a movie
OR
-they are a single moms/divorced,which is ok I guess.......... | |
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