| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:37:46 PM | | Hi - well, ive been dating this guy for a few months now, and things have been pretty good...up until recently. on friday, i went to his work and brought him lunch, and i could c he was in really bad mood (he hates his job, etc.) and i asked him if he wanted to hang out that night, and he said "no"...i was like, alright, and i left...later that day, i was out at the pool with my mom and did not bring my phone with me. when i checked my phone, he called me 3 times right in a row and left a snippy message saying that i better call him back! i did, and he asked me where i was and i said i was down at the pool and didnt bring my phone. he immediately said, well, i dont believe you, and he hung up..shortly after, he text messaged me and said "u r a cheater"...and has not called or returned my calls since...i am not a cheat! what do you guys think is going on? i have no idea what to do... | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:39:50 PM | I think he's a control freak who needs to be out of your life so fast it'll make his head spin.
My ex was just like that, I only wish it seen it sooner, and spared myself a lot of pain | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:41:40 PM | | You are not responsible for other peoples mis-thoughts or wrong thoughts. He is treatened by the fact that you are young and beautiful and can't handle it. Be prepared to move on. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:44:41 PM | So, you've been dating him for a few months and although you are not a cheat, you're on a dating site, your profile lists you as "single", you state in your profile what kind of guy you want, etc. etc. and you never mention that you're seeing someone.
Hm.
Colin | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:47:18 PM | Just a general thought on accusations/cheating....
In my experience, people who are quick to accuse others of cheating are usually guilty of it themselves. They are trying to redirect the guilt/blame away from their indiscretions. Especially if there have been no "signs" or "evidence" of cheating.
There is nothing so frustrating as being blamed for something that you have not done IMO. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:49:35 PM | Whatever I say about that situation could be speculation because I don't know him so, I say
what I see and not what I think about him:
"Your boyfriend accuse you of cheating because you don't answered the phone".
Now you tell me how that make sense. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:49:47 PM | Flsoldier took the words right out of my mouth.
So missy whatchya doin on a datin site, huh?
Something seems fishy in the pond today............. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:52:10 PM | | Hmmmm... let me see here... your profile says you are single and looking. My guess is he is pretty close to the mark... so you should do nothing. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:52:57 PM | So, you've been dating him for a few months and although you are not a cheat, you're on a dating site, your profile lists you as "single", you state in your profile what kind of guy you want, etc. etc. and you never mention that you're seeing someone.
ladies and gentleman "exhibit A".
maybe He saw your profile on POF?
I'm with colin hmm?? | |
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*KD*
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 12 | |
| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 12:55:09 PM | First off, dump him. Second, like other's have said, your on a dating site listed as single still.
I'm not sure how often your on here, but i notice that people who have entered or found a new relationship, generally make a note of it on their profile. Or even say forums only or found my new fishy. Granted, that's not everyone's style, but if he seen you with a profile on a dating site listed as single then he might be jealous.
I havent read your profile as of yet but if you had mention of being in a relationship, I'll retract that statement.
Edit: nope no mention of it and the last time you posted was a month ago. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:14:17 PM | You joined this site in 2005. you either met him here or you didnt, but if you did, and have been dating him for a few months, and "forgot" to change your profile to announce to others that you are NOW seeing some one and it is pretty good.....what would you expect?
If you didnt meet him here and still "forgot" to remove yourself from the available in your profile (such as "foruns only" or something like that), mabey the guy is perceptive enough to sense that.
If you met him here on POF, has he altered his profile or deleted it?
Any partner/mate/lover that requires you to account for your whereabouts as you say he did.........
what do you guys think is going on?
several possibilities:
A) you are either a cheater, or still shopping (Yahoo Serious song line:"you're not . everything I wanted, but you're good enough for now")
B) (beinfit of the doubt) havent changer your profile and should immediately
C) Pick control freaks so you can be happy by being miserable in your relationship.
My response may be moot, if he has gone and isnt returning your calls, you dont have him to worry about. | |
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*KD*
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Joined: 7/18/2006
Msg: 14 | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:26:16 PM | Relationships are co-created (it's a mantra!)
You are both putting out emotionally unstable energy -
and obviously stunted communication -
Set asside the issue of affairs and accusations and just look
at stability and trust - that is the communication happening -
I want your attention - when you don't give it - I hear that you don't appreciate me -
or that you are giving your attention to someone else...etc..has this happened before? Do you usually automatically get back to him except when you are busy? How have your last relationships correlated to this?
I don't think you are having an affair or not appreciating him - you want more space flexibility - so can
you communicate what he needs for affirmation while standing firm in your own
freedom and space - and own that your behavior is not 100 percent in your relationship which can create 'real' and valid feelings of non-loyalty and then express themselves in imature ways...
Both of you focus on specific behaviors - your 'having an affair' is not
his problem - you not calling him back was his problem which led
him to his wild speculations - which by your profile may have -if
not literal at least some emotional validity. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:32:05 PM | My ex got a bit funny with me over a similar thing. He got annoyed because I was not replying staight away to his texts.
Talking from my experience, if they accuse you of cheating its sometimes because they are a bit PARONOID because previous g/f 's of theirs have cheated on them and they are putting they're defences up. I have the exact same problem with b/f's that are liars.
It can also be, as mentioned in an earlier post that they are cheating themselves.
Hopefully you can talk it thru with him to find out why he thought that.
Sort ya profile out on here too. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:37:06 PM | I agree with most of the people who've posted.
1.You have a profile on a dating site-No biggy in and of itself.
2. Profile states that you're single-with NO mention of the boyfriend you're now claiming to have a "committed" relationship with... Just a thought here, maybe he feels left out?
3. Profile also states that you seek men for dating- So much for the concept of commitment.
Golly gee whiz OP, I can't imagine why he has issues with you.  | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:37:14 PM | I would sit back in a nice chair and clear my mind and realize that even the first year criminology student knows that guilty parties accuse others of the very things they do. If this is true and he did he feels really bad. He wants it to go away in his head.
There is one other thing. He knows somebody YOU know and that somebody is.........mentioning things?
Only two reasons that I can think of. Unless of course you have been hanging with someone else and it is giving the impression of infidelity. Only you can answer that. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:42:11 PM | | I haven't read what everyone else put, but he seams controling and you might want to think of throwing him back, because if he is controling now.....If you get married are have a kid, it will be a lot worse. Throw him back and let someone else think they landed a good one until he starts showing his true colors, and see how many times he gets thrown back. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:49:14 PM | My bf is accusing me of the same thing. Not once but twice. I have not given him any reason to do this. Every man I've been with has cheated on me and I chose to trust that he won't. The ex's in his life have also cheated on him. He says that all women cheat!!! I'm almost ready to walk. I love him though.
Yes, I'm on a dating site, the very site we met on. I also am only here for the forums and thats it. Like alot of ppl I just enjoy reading them.
I do however agree with one of the other posters how wrote that usually when someone accuses of cheating they themselves is doing it. Been a victim of that as well with an ex and just seen today his wedding announcement. The more he accused me of it the more he was doing it. Go figure.
takn | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 1:58:13 PM | My thoughts are that either:
1. He knows nothing about your being on POF and just needed an excuse (even a lame one) to break up with you.
or
2. He knows about you being on POF and has every reason not to call you again.
Either way, time for you to move on. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:22:39 PM | Or it could be that you are indeed cheating, with signs as others have indicated (site, profile, etc) and that you are only posting here because in your mind, the made up story about sitting by the pool with your mom will count as some sort of alibi?
Very odd. Well, in either case, all we really have to judge is your half assed statement about what he did and how he reacted. I'd be curious to hear his side of the story on what happened. | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:29:41 PM | Scotchlassie from your profile.......I want a guy who is openminded, honest, nice and likes to have fun. I am an openminded girl so if you are cool hit me up!
First DateAnything that is fun and would allow us to talk and really get to know eachother
hmmm now i do wonder where he'd ever get an idea that you were cheating... | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:32:20 PM | it amazies me to no end how some people who cheat think they can pull the wool over us and come whining about "why does he think this" and its written all over their profiles they cheat. too funny. and how stupid..
and they wonder how in the world they get caught...... | |
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| Boyfriend is Accusing me of cheating
Posted: 7/30/2006 2:40:08 PM | Scotchlassie from your profile.......I want a guy who is openminded, honest, nice and likes to have fun. I am an openminded girl so if you are cool hit me up!
First DateAnything that is fun and would allow us to talk and really get to know eachother
wow what an open end invite that is for a man to pursue ...so this to me means yea your a cheat!!! you will do anything on a first date, spells cheat!!! open minded,spells cheat...u know the old saying ,if it looks like a pig and smells like a pig,then it is a pig..same goes for a cheat...can say I blame the guy..oh and you must remove the HONEST part of your profile because thats just aflat out lie!!! | |
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