| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:13:13 AM | Gentlemen (and other persons of the male persuasion),
I often think that we just aren't getting to know each other as we might to best develop new relationships, in part because we are simply not asking the right questions of one another. So...
Can you share FIVE questions -- that we might not think of or might be afraid of asking -- that we really should ask when getting to know you? and Why?
Bonus: If asked these questions (or any that someone else posted) would have trouble or be challenged in answering honestly? Why?
Thanks! | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:19:14 AM | 1: ask if we ever read the book Venus and Mars
2: ask if we give a damn about female orgasm
3: ask if we TRULY enjoy drama movies (chick flicks)
4: ask if we always make our beds in the morning and pick up after ourselves
5: ask us if we would go to the store and buy you some tampons
darn, there is a lot more questions you should ask. But there is 5. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:24:39 AM | 1) How do you feel about children?
2) Do you like oral sex? Both ways...
3) Will we buy you tampons...lol (Seriously. It tells you a LOT)
4) Do you, or have you ever, been arrested?
5) Is that a rabbit in your pants, or are you happy to see me?
Hmmm need more.... | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:42:32 AM | Ask a guy if he wants to have sex with you and then get to know you. (which means if his primary concern is getting laid)
If he wants to get to know you before sex, that means you'll have enough time to ask all the questions your mind can think of, and get to know each other. If sex comes first, one day you may wake up and realise you never realy known or loved each other in the first place. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:43:23 AM | 1. Which do you like better....Tang or Kool aid?
2. So...ya come here often?
3. What do you think would happen if someone cut a fart in here?
4. Wow, aren't you glad you and I are the only good looking ones amongst all the fulgys in here?
5. You're not a eunuch are you? | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:46:07 AM | Depends where in the 'getting to know' stage your at however,
1. Without going into details, why do you think your past relationships have failed?
This will tell you alot about someone - whether they actually think about events that occur in their life, if they have a 'God' complex and everyone else is to blame for the bad, and what to watch for as you build a relationship with them. How detail oriented they are.
2. The happiest moment in their life that they can recall.
3. The worst moment.
These questions together will reveal what they view as important and what matters to them as well as a little about the experiences they've had
4. Tell me something about you that nobody else knows except for you
While you will never get an honest answer to this question it's all about the reaction...
5. What do you want to know about me.
This while blatant will give a good idea as too where they see you fitting in to their life and where their minds at... | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 9:59:45 AM | 1) Do you think men from Mars are sexier?
2) Can you recount step by step all your failures in life?
3) Hello?
4) Hello? Are you there?
5) Hello? | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 11:08:58 AM | I think it depends on what's important to YOU. If sex is a big thing, ask about his sexual preferences. Find out if he's knowledgeable about female anatomy or he's a bumbling fool.
If family is important, ask about his family relationships.
If it's love your concerned about, ask him for his definition of love.
Have you ever been arrested and for what is a good question.
How much do you drink. You don't want to deal with an alcoholic.
This will tell you a lot about him...present the situation of you and him in public, say a bar, and some guy keeps hitting on you..how does he handle it? This happens a lot.
In fact, it actually happened to me a few days ago. I'm in my 50's and so was my date. This younger drunk guy kept commenting about how great her tan was an oggling her breasts
which are beautiful for a woman her age, I might add. Can't blame him for that.
After a few times, I asked her if she was bothered by it. She said no, she knows him and
he's just having fun. So, I said ok..no problem. If she had said yes, I would have have taken him aside and politely said, "I understand that my date is attractive and I can't blame you for being interested, but she's with me and I'd appreciate if you would show me some respect and not bother us. Had he gotten nasty, I simply would have gotten the bouncer to educate him in proper courtesy." I might add that I'm 5'11" 200 lbs and work out daily, a former Marine Sgt and can be very intimidating when the situation calls for it.
Can he accept that you have male friends with no sexual interest in them.
In other words, is he the jealous type.
If he's divorced, ask him why he thinks his marriage failed. If he blames it all on his ex, well.
Another red flag..how long have you been listed on dating sites. If he's been there for years, well, you might take a hint that maybe he's not relationship material, if that's what you're looking for.
Some don'ts.
Don't ask any finance, job related questions. Those things you can find out later if it looks like the relationship will continue. You can ask if he can afford to take you out to a nice dinner, movie etc, but don't go beyond that. He might think youre looking for a meal ticket.
Don't ask what kind of car he drives. That's another economic indicator.
And for heaven's sake DON'T ask him to tell you something about himself only he or his close friends know. It's private for a reason. I had that question on a profile form on one of the other sites. My reply was "If only I and my close friends know, why should I post it on the Internet for the whole world to see?!!
So there are a few of my ideas. Hope they help. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 11:15:19 AM | Ask about their goals... what they want out of life...
Ask about how things have gone for them in the past. Why they're single.
Ask about what their happiest and sadest memories are.
Ask how they'd like to spend a typical day.
Ask what they're hoping to find here...
Don't bother asking about sex.
A player will obviously lie, and claim that's not what they're interested in.
And a decent man might wonder if that's what YOUR priority is. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 11:32:13 AM | How did you get to be so smart?
How did you get to be so sexy?
How come you're so damn good looking?
How did I get so lucky?
Will you take me for a ride on your motorcycle?
Asking these questions will result in happiness, which you can then judge whether it's the kind you like. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 3:22:21 PM | If we get along with our family
What are goals are
Where we see ourselfs in 10 years
What are we passionite about
Then throw in a deal breaker question for yourself like smoking/drugs/drunk | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 3:37:52 PM | | My personal experence is I really don't care what questions you ask. Just be sure you really want an answer. I agree it is hard to know the perfect getting to know you questions. But again being older and way laid back ( almost horizontal) I really have no fear of any question posed to me. In essence what I am saying treat your questions like you did as a child ask away. It really is the only way to learn to communicate with some one. In my case the worst you would hear from me is it is to early in the relationship to be able to answer that or give me a minute to think that one over. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 3:45:44 PM | 1. may i call you
2. may i call you at your home
3. may i have that number
4. may i call this number anytime day or night
5. what is your first and last name
these are the questions to know if you're gonna be played or not.
you should have a yes to all 4 and his full name.
a great first step in getting to know your partner. | |
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iris37
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Joined: 7/15/2005
Msg: 14 | |
| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 5:30:01 PM | How many serious relationships have you had?
Describe your ideal dream date...where would go and why?
How long was your longest relationship and why did it end?
Whats your favorite childhood memory?
Whats your relationship like with your family?
Whats your favorite cartoon character and why?
Whats your favorite meal?
Is your music collection alphabetized?
If you could have a lunch date with anyone in world dead or alive who it be with and why?
Whats your greatest accomplishment?
Do you have nickname?
Do you believe in fate and karma?
What stresses you out? | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 6:11:36 PM | Here are a couple...
Will you hold my purse while I get us a drink?
Where do you see yourself in ten minutes? | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 7:12:53 PM | What's your real name?
What's your real age?
Where are you really from?
What is best in life?
Are you gay?
Man, i'm a genius!
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 8:50:37 PM | If someone were to ask me 5 questions that would really let them know who I was....
Actually, I thought of 15.
1) What kinds of art do you enjoy, or activly create?
2) Have you ever been in trouble with the law?
3) List every job that you have ever had, and why you chose to leave them?
4) Tell me the moment in your life that you were the most afraid for yourself?
5) Tell me your biggest accomplishment?
6) What (besides POF) is you best claim to geekdom?
7) What if anything would you be most likly to win an award for?
8) Asperations for the next 1/5/10 years?
9) Where to you stand politically?
10) Where do you stand on religion?
11) If you could travel to 10 places before you died, where would they be? And, why?
12) What constitutes intimacy for you?
13) Canadian football? Or NFL?
14) Whats your biggest secret?
15) Whos cooler, Han? or Luke?
Now, thats not all there is to me, but Im sure it would provide some kind of insight into who I was, and what I liked.
p.s. I think ill just copy/paste those to somone, I wonder how they will answer them. | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 8:50:48 PM | Hmm. Actually, im going to go for the bonus.
Some of these questions that I posted I wouldnt really want to fully answer right away.
For example, the one about being in trouble with the law. Yes.
Now, would I want to go into details? Probly not, as I havent always been a nice guy, and lets just say im somwhat familiar with exactly what rights I have, and what I must provide for the nice officer.
What happend? Sorry, only me and my lawyer know that. And legally hes not allowed to divulge that kind of info. Now, I will tell you that it was only violent one time, and the dude had it coming, he hit me first, but it was still called a "public disturbance" so whatever... I never caused harm to anyone, and it wasnt creepy. (sorry, cant say more, the statiude of limitations isnt up on it yet)
Would finding that out about somone frighten you? Make you leery?
Its not that I wouldnt tell, its just that I wouldnt feel comfortable telling somone that I have only met a few times. (is she a cop?) lol. So that kind of info would have to stay un-spoken for awhile.
Theres other things I just wouldnt want to speak of with somone that I just met, again, its not a trust of you issue so much there, its more of a trust of me sort of thing. My family life is kinda messed up, so I dont like speaking about it, can we talk about somthing else?
So, for the bonus, yes, these questions would give me pause in answering them, espically if its somone that I dont really know that well. Some of them, I wouldnt talk about much online at all. If thats called being secretive so be it. Ill be up-front when I get to know you better.
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/1/2006 10:19:15 PM | 1). What's your longest relationship?
2). Are you currently married or seeing anyone?
3). If I wanted to date you a while and wait a few months before getting sexual is that a deal breaker?
4). Ever been convicted of a crime?
5). Would you lie to me to get what you want?
The break down ladies.
1). Will tell you if this person has ever been able to commit for a term that you would deem acceptable. Anything over a few years is not too bad, but if it's only six months or less, be leery. They may just not have met the right person, but more likely they cannot or will not commit for long periods.
TRUTH TIP > Watch his eyes! Most people tend to look to the right when recalling truth or past events, and to the left when creating stories or lies. ( It's in the mind's cognative reasoning function and different lobes ).
2). Amazingly, the idea that the person hitting on you is single is often such a foregone conclusion that women never bother to ask it unless suspicious. Again watch his reaction and not just what he says and how it is said. ( Tips for how to know if your date is married have been posted under a different thread before. Try "Erik's Tips for How to tell if your date is married?" ) Some guys will even share it with you, but won't tell if you don't ask! Weird? Yeah, but hey, that's an odd truth. It takes all kinds.
3). If you sound serious and he is convinced you are planning to follow that up with postponed sexual activity, most guys who are just in it for the short "fix" won't waste too much time on you. Some will even get annoyed at the suggestion. These are strong clues. Take the time to get to know us before you commit and expect us to do the same and you'll get farther.
4). Criminal record does not mean he is a bad guy, if he's had a speeding ticket or did some stupid things in his past, but if his most recent date was a few months ago with someone named Big Lou, and he's running late because his parole officer said he had to check in, you might want to know if he's a career screw up! Judge the severity for yourself if he shares this with you. "Ticket back in the 80's for fishing with an expired license, no biggie! Just had Tony whacked for leaning on his car,... could be a problem!"
5). Watch his reaction! Is he thinking of a fitting answer, or dreaming up something he thinks you will want to hear? His demeanor and eyes, nervous habits etc will be a dead giveaway. Long pause, dumbfounded look, are all potential indicators that he is unsure of how to field a question like that, and certainly can be an indication of the intent to hide things from you.
( This is not an absolute rule! He could be geniunely shocked or stunned by the question, but most guys who are honest will be able to quickly and comfortably reply with a No, Never, etc. Judge for yourself how he answers that one. )
Good luck! I liked the ones from your first poster! those were all great questions too!
- Erik -  | |
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| Guys, what should we ask you?
Posted: 8/2/2006 12:51:42 AM | 1) Could you stop stealing glances at my breasts?
2) No, seriously, stop it
3) Could you stop looking at her breasts?
4) What are you, 3?
5) Could we get the check please?
Really? I'm a relationship retard. Ask whatever you like, if you are pretty you will not get a coherent answer. Unless its a sports question. Well, thats not always true, but often enough. | |
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