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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/8/2006 11:24:38 PM |  READ THIS FIRST!
Due to the overwhelming response from the first thread, I decided to close the thread and start a new one, but not until I had a nice long break from doing profile reviews. As I put in a lot of detail into the reviews, it sucks up a significant amount of time, time which I could be using to going out and meeting women. Juuust kidding...I actually like doing this because it helps me with my writing and editing skills. However, I have to set several conditions in order for me to do this. They are as follows:
1: Reviews will ONLY be done through this thread. Any request for reviews via private message WILL BE DELETED. Okay, okay. If you happen to be female, really frickin' hot, and you live in my area, I'll make an exception. But otherwise...
(What, you think I'm doing this stuff because I want people to think that I'm a really nice guy? Hell no!)
2: Being that I'm unable to edit old posts days after the fact, please check the most recent messages from me for thread updates. In the last thread, despite the fact that I made announcements that I was taking a break and closing the thread, people STILL kept messaging me for requests for reviews.
3: I help those who help themselves. You will not get a significant review if all you've done is reiterate your interests or it appears that you didn't even read any of the guidelines before you wrote your profile. Please do not waste my time with one-sentence profiles and only one or two interests.
4: After about four pages of reviews and requests, I'm seeing the same things over and over and over again. Please compare people's profiles in comparison to my actual review before you , otherwise I'm just going to keep repeating myself. If I feel that you made no attempt to make any revision prior to submitting for review, I will just give you my alphabet code, where each letter corresponds to one of the common criticisms I've given towards others profiles.
A= Should remove use of the words "My friends say that I'm..."
B= completely subjective buzzwords such as "intelligent, friendly, and down-to-earth". C= lack of photo variety.
D= horrible grammar and/or spelling.
E- "Prefer not to say" is the same thing as "yes."
F = show don't tell.
G = The bulk of the "about me" section is a rehash of your "interests" section.
H= White dot = The prose comes off as excessively needy.
I= Break the text into paraphs to make it easier to read.
Now bring 'em on! You won't regret it!
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/9/2006 10:52:02 PM | Kwitjirbitjin,
First all, I got a kick out of your screen name. As to the profile itself, it's fairly solid and you do cover all of the bases. The profile portrays you as someone down to earth, is fairly intelligent (lack of spelling and grammatical glitches do it for me), and has a sense of humour, and that's not because you told us. You've actually made attempts at cracking jokes in your profile, although their effectiveness solely depends on who you're trying to nab.
Photos could use a little more variety (they're all taken at the same angle and they're all close-ups, except for the Wonder Woman picture), but otherwise the photos are clear. You mention a lot of fanboy (or fangirl, in your case) type interests, which you can probably get away with, although you will likely attract more of a certain type of individual if that is the case. World of Warcraft, Star Trek, and Lord of the Rings are great and all, although you will likely garner more replies from a fanboyish POFer than others.
Anywho, good luck.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/10/2006 6:39:56 AM | fnfuntime2930,
I'm not exactly the expert when it comes to activities for "spicing up one's marriage", but I think you already know that a lot of people aren't going to be looking for the type of activities that you suggest in your profile. As a result, you will NOT be able to contact many people because you are married and seeking intimate encounters.
As to how effective your profile is when attracting people, I honestly don't know. I understand the rationale behind decapiting your photos (discretion, etc.), which may limit your responses, although most people will like what they see in the photo.
Otherwise, it's well written, you have a good idea of what you want, and you have good photos to go with it. Just fix up the spelling and you're good to start swinging.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/10/2006 12:59:51 PM | | Glad to see u r back No More Regrets with a new profile review thread! I have been waiting for your return so I could ask u to please review my profile and pictures. I have had feedback from females and appreciate what they had to say, but there r some significant gender differences when it comes to how men and women perceive things. So when u have time...would be very grateful if u could take a peek. Oh yes I am not wanting to appeal to the masses and have my ego stroked over and over, so pls do not pay attention to the number of people who have me on their favs list...it is not a popularity contest I am trying to win here. Thx | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/11/2006 11:46:36 PM | CapitalCFLChick,
You've packed a fair amount of detail into your profile. I can't really think of a lot of things that are "wrong" with it per se - all your grammar and spelling seems to be in order, you have some good photo variety, and you have some very varied interests.
Mind you, it does come across as mildly pedestrian, and a lot of it does feel like an expansion of your interests, although the Ken Dryden anecdote is kinda funny. Any time you can go beyond just explaining your interests in detail and even tell a story is always a plus.
Anywho, good luck.
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 12:40:32 AM | What the heck, I am usually the reviewer, let's see what you have my friend? hehehe,..
( P.S. If I regret it do I get stamp and a letter telling me where to go? A bonus prize? A little smilie face sticker and a "sorry post it? ) just teasing,... hahahaha When ya have the time, do share. Thanks.
- Erik -  | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 5:45:28 AM | NoMoreRegrets,
thanks for your honesty ! I am trying to think of a way to revise it to show more of the real me ! People are always telling me how funny I am, and i just know it doesnt come accross in this. I will se what I can do !
Much appreciated
CCC | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:30:56 AM | GirlieGirl1,
I'm guessing you're not the first one to come up with that screenname...but anywho, on with the review.
Your profile paints you as a closet romantic, someone fairly intelligent, and someone that wants more out of life. You do photograph fairly well, although some of the photos are a little bit blurry (some of it may be a byproduct of POF's photo scaling software...you might not be able to control that).
It's quite a lot to read, though. You could use slightly shorter paragraphs and try to condense the text down and express in one sentence where you instead express two. If the words are that important, you can always chunk the information by breaking down the bigger paragraphs into smaller ones.
Otherwise, you're on the right track. Although I would strongly suggest avoiding the Prince thing ("U" = "You").
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 8:50:28 AM | JWH114,
It took me a few seconds to realize that it was Nemo ground up into sushi.
You're clearly a family man and a lot of people would certainly gravitate towards that. The pictures that you have also show someone with a sense of humour. Best of all, I didn't catch any glaring errors in grammar and spelling (although you don't have proper subject-verb agreement in one case...you have a list of items (plural) followed by singular form of "to be" ("is"). It should be "are"). Okay, English lesson over.
That being said, I'd probably beef it up with the kind of thing you go for in a prospective member-of-the-opposite sex. You're gonna wanna either re-upload some of your photos or pick new ones, though...there are weird horizontal lines running through the two main ones.
I would also eliminate the joke images (stoned M&M guys, Nemo sushi, Super-Squirrel) and replace them with images of you...these things are seen all over the internet and get e-mailed to us all the time.
Also, having something non-descript under the profession field ("professional") may hurt you...what do you have to hide? If it's a job that you hate, you can either say it in fairly general terms or you can make a joke out of it, or put down something that is VERY obviously bogus, as long as it's funny. Heck, one person on here is a nurse (a time honoured and respectable position), and she put down "Professional Butt-Wiper" (she is now on my favourites list).
Good work, though.
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:16:51 AM | skjodhus,
Hmm...martial arts, hmm? I guess I'd better be nice otherwise you might board a plane and try to kick my ass. No matter, though. My capoeira backflip will defeat your karate chop! Okay, it probably won't, but at least it'll look cool.
You're on the right track and the profile paints you as someone who's down-to-earth, intelligent, and someone with a sense of humour. Your photos depict a variety of interests (I'm really sick of seeing the same photo taken at different angles).
You've largely nailed "show-don't-tell", although I would probably word things slightly different to accentuate the positve. "I'll look into your eyes as we talk" sounds a bit better than "You will NEVER see me talking to your chest, or looking at other women when we are out on a date!" Just a suggestion, though.
Anywho, keep up the good work,
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:32:52 AM | MattOnDemand,
I'm a huge South Park fan myself...pretty good likeness, actually.
What I find with your profile is that I don't get a good idea of you and it's largely an extention of your interests list. The interests are quite common and don't really set you apart from a lot of the other people on this site. You didn't even fill out the "first date" section.
I really don't have a lot to work with here, so I would strongly suggest beefing up the profile with a little more of "you." What you're looking for, why someone should wanna hang out/date you, etc. Just remember: show don't tell.
Peace,
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 9:40:57 AM | ltlebear,
Your profile isn't bad by any means - it gives us an idea of what you do, what you're like, and what you want out of life. However, it's a little bit on the generic side and it's a little hard to separate it from a lot of the other profiles. Me, I like seeing things like personal anecdotes, quotes, and the like. But then, it's a matter of personal preference.
I'd also like to see a little bit more photo variety myself. You would also benefit from removing subjective buzzwords ("funny, compassionate, passionate, strong", etc. etc.) and actually back them up. SHOW DON'T TELL.
Peace,
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 5:40:00 PM | canadian_princess,
Great photos. Now, exactly which one is you?
Pardon the sarcasm, but you know what I"m getting at...all the photos that you have featured feature more than one person, so I have to guess at which one. No one likes expending that amount of effort.
That being said, you do have a fairly short and sweet profile, and although it's a little bit sparse for my tastes, it is consistent with the "fairly shy" part (I know, no one said that this would be EASY). However, one of the benefits of being female and looking good on camera (I'm guessing that you're the young lady on the left in your main photo) is that people will still message you out of the blue even if your profile was written in Farsi.
For its purposes (you seek Chat/E-mail), the profile is sufficient, but if you're looking for more, I would suggest beefing it up. A few anecdotes, some more personality, a bit more "you." Do you know how many people are "tired of the bar scene"? This is my second review thread and I have seen it a lot.
Good luck,
NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:29:46 PM | etownboy79,
I did, actually. Personally, I think it's a valuable service, because if you were able to find something worth making fun of in the profile, chances are that our prospective match-ups may be thinking the exact same thing. Mind you, I did have reasons for putting those things in that you chose to roast (mostly for showing off my goofy and crazy side). Anywho...
While I'm not accustomed to the format (most just use prose rather than numbered lists), this is a pretty decent profile, and genuinely funny to boot. You've been able to get on several favourites lists without a photo and you have an amusing reason for not having one. Your "Thanks Grandma" quip was hilarious. The profile paints you as funny, with strong personal values, and intelligent.
As to what you can improve, the lack of photos you're aware of. You also misspelt "masochist". I should also point out that the interests in your interest section don't match up with the ones in your profile body. You mention politics, psychology, and religion/philosophy, yet you have completely different interests listed. Just thought you should know.
And I'm annoyed by Paris Hilton too. Thank you.
-NoMoreRegrets | |
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| I'll review your profile...you won't regret it, part 2
Posted: 8/12/2006 10:35:39 PM | Wow! I really dont regret it! Now THAT's truth in advertising! Yay! I will strongly consider the rewording suggestion. I appreciate your insights and candor. Plus I am quite certain your Capoeira would look outstandingly kool!
Thanks again! Have a good one! - Erik - ( Another non-regretful, satisfied customer! ) | |
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